Daily Morning Awesomeness (20 Photos)

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  • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

    Fucking firsters!

    – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
    — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      Oh dear <3Bob<3… I wasn't trying to be first, just stating what I am doing at the moment.

      – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
      — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

      • Bill57

        you have no life

      • GTA

        then you spelled fisting wrong

        • Blah

          *getting fisted

    • Mister H.

      Firstard, or firstardette…

    • Sassy_

      paula.. im one of ur 5 twitter followers.. ill tweet on ya lata

  • tawhitlow

    Who needs the radio when you can make your own driving music

    • Master_Rahl

      #6 tell that guy to blow it out his… oh, nevermind

      • SenorWilson

        I usually pretend I'm a star fighter. It get's pretty intense on winding roads.

  • Taylor

    2 at night? Morning enough for me. Chive on.

  • Average Chiver

    where are those skank-ass chivettes? i need to "respectfully" tell them how nice their asses are as I "respectfully" blow my load to them.

    • JAFitC

      Rude, crude, mean and abusive. You're quite the lady's man, aren't you, bro?

    • another avrg chiver

      How dare you say anything against the nice ladies who send in semi naked pics for us to fap too ? Dont cock block man ,where else will we get such whores for free ? Now deal with my fanboy rage !!!!!!!!!!

  • Catence

    #13 – Might make doing laundry a bit awesome.

    • P90

      It might make your clothes softer for when you iron man……..oh I just failed the internets didn't I.

      • ssstoopid

        That was terrible… but I couldn't NOT laugh. Bravo.

    • Tomas

      This one just cracked me up. LOL xD

  • JPV310

    I love the fact that the morning randoms is being posted a few minutes past midnight on the west coast.

    • Spt

      it's morning in europe

      • JPV310

        I meant it in regard to the fact that their based in Venice beach California; thus I'm in the same time zone.

        but have a splendid Friday morning, I'm going to go to sleep

  • G Monie

    #1 "Hi! We're your new neighbors! Can I borrow some honey?"

    • The Guy

      I'm just gonna stand behind this bear and take a picture, it'll be good for the internets.

    • http://twitter.com/The_Scofield_ @The_Scofield_

      Pedobear IRL

  • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

    Just to be sure: #10 is from a series… a very poor one at that…. The Dutch are way cooler than that.

    – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
    — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

    • The Chivery

      Chive meet up.

    • Bill57

      two things i hate in this world people who are intolerant of other peoples cultures and the dutch. -AustinPowers Fahjah

    • dutchon

      the series is called "new kids" and its freakin sweet.
      Dutch on!

      • Numbers

        More on, its not from the series but from the movie "New Kids: Turbo" and a pretty sweet one, i must say.

        • Bubba


    • sideways

      Hey Paula , for sure Dutch people are cool ! However may i enhance that those are dudes from Belgium!
      i am already enjoying the fact that chivers are all going to think Belgium dudes are like that !

      • jamie

        its dutch verrekte mongol jonge

      • gnur

        They are Dutch. Some are from the place that really is called Maaskantje, it exists and they live(d) there.

      • cpt. awesome


      • Da Sandman

        everyone knows dutch people are retarded.. you can't fool anyone

    • Lad

      The series is called "New Kids" and is a satire on dutch hillbillies of the kind depicted here.
      Sad fact is: these retards are actually way cooler than the average Dutch person.

      • Nick

        if that's a fact, you're an idiot… they ACT… they don't even know 'brabants' they have to be taught.

        • Da Sandman

          it' still a fact =) fail counter

    • Nick

      actually it's not dutch… it's from brabant… as shown on the picture… its a serie about 5 guys who drink beer and shout at people all day… they even made a movie… and it was the best selling dutch movie for a couple of months… its even voice-overed in german…. BAM!

    • CRK

      Actually Dutch people suck ass…for all I care they can repeat the holocaust! What the hell do they take that fucking bike lane so fucking serious for? I mean its a bike, quit rining your fucking bell at me!

      • Mutt

        Did a schwin bite you when you were little?

      • panama99

        CRK are you often "rining" your bike or "riding" your bike….maybe it's a Dutch thing. As for the Dutch people "sucking ass" I'm told some people are into that…..personally it's not my thing but maybe you're into it. I try not to judge but after rining your bike all day I guess it's not very enjoyable.

        Enjoy the New Kids.

        • janusjaap

          He means 'ringing'…….
          And CRK, did you really want to add the holocaust to this? A bit said I think.
          Not something you want to joke about.

          • panama99

            Thank janusjaap

            I now understand his comment a little better.

      • :-)

        Holland is awesome man, nowhere else in the world where i could be this high, legally!!! :) Chive thanks for the post, I think i'm going to watch some new kids right now :D

      • Pancho

        CRK, I would just like to state that you may just be the most retarded person I encountered today. The holocaust was a little thing the Germans invented and we were the victims of it too. At least we have the courtesy of not using 9/11 for some irrelevant argument, I suggest you treat the holocaust similarly. Actually, no offence intended, but you lost 3000 lives on 9/11, Europe lost over 10 000 000 people in the holocaust. I hope that puts things back into perspective for you and lets you realise how sensitive a subject it is.

        As for bike lanes, we may have the largest bike to person ratio in the world, we're practically known for it, so that's why…

        • Dead Embryonic Cells

          Way to go off topic. No-one on here gives a shit

        • :-)

          Hey Pancho, you're absolutely right! There's nothing wrong with bikes, I love bikes. In a small country like ours who needs a fucking car man!

    • Snoopi

      So is everyone missing the point that Paula might be dutch…?
      I dont know what to think of it being a Dutchman myself.

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        Niks 'might be', gewoon een Nederlander.

        – degene waarvan je haat te houden… erm… damn hoe vertaal je dat goed…

        • jamie

          wow shit she lives among us, merica save let me find shelter.

  • The Bandit

    #8 …well deserved, Ed. Should have gotten it long time ago for playing Al. He's a very good, underrated actor and great in "Modern Family".

    #2 …almost every movie. He makes it in "Silen Hill", but still loses somehow…

    • Polonuts

      I agree. Grats to Ed! Nice to see Katy Segal in that pic as well. Those two really made some great laughs. Now being married for a while, I realize the show is mostly true

    • patov

      I wanna smell his farts.

      • patov40

        Cool, an internet message board stalker! Always wanted a fat, lonely, unemployment collectee of my very own. What a special moment in my life!

        Oh yeah, and, "Polk High legend bitches!!!"

        • WJOI

          calm the fuck down, spazz-ass.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000438350852 Elliot Atkinson

      I'm going to go make a Tang Sandwich to celebrate. Tang Sandwiches for everyone!!!

      • The Bandit

        I remember that one very well! Should definitely try it ….

    • Frank M

      Someone told me that his star is in front of a shoe store which is a nice homage to his Married with Children role.

    • Birdhaus32

      Best part is they put Ed's star in front of a woman's shoe store

    • Tim

      "You know, if you stab a man in the dead of winter, steam will rise up from the wounds. Indians believed it was his soul escaping from his body."

      Go Ed!

      Underrated my ass.

  • Plain Jane

    #16 – I ALWAYS thought this exact thing.

    • detective

      That chic is definitely a Chivette.

    • JPV310

      and I ALWAYS thought people overuse hyperbole

      • Stevo

        that wasn't hyperbole, you've just made the worst fail ever!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=667795076 Justin Barbour

    #18 So somebody really fucked up explaining the birds and the bees to him….

    • NothingToSeeHere

      Mike just likes his pigeons. Leave him alone. It's cool…

    • beasty

      "Now kiss or I"ll bite both your ears off"

    • http://twitter.com/ABQLifer @ABQLifer

      Looks like he is about to kiss those birds Ozzy Osbourne style

  • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

    #4 don't worry cat, I won't be around for Cat Saturday.
    So I'll post what I had in mind for it here:
    <3 Paula's <3 Recipe <3 for <3 Cats <3
    – Sharpen a stick;
    – Drive stick trough cat;
    – roast over open fire. Fire will take care of cat hair;
    – Dinner will be done about 15 minutes after cat stops screaming.
    – Bon apetit!

    – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
    — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

    • DerJöe

      u know how to please a man

    • JstevensF

      That's fucking awful Paula!!!

      You forgot seasoning, Jesus.

  • krazyki

    Not first :0(

  • JPV310


    not to be rude but can anyone off the top of their head name a movie he's in besides lord of the rings?

    … the hitcher, fuck

    • JPV310

      Got bored; wanted to make it easier

      • NothingToSeeHere

        God damn that man has suffered some violent deaths!

      • http://twitter.com/sterlingsylvir @sterlingsylvir

        He's like the Hollywood version of Kenny.

      • Broseph Stalin

        hahaha that was just fuckin awesome

      • Brian

        Most recently, Game of Thrones. But not a movie….

    • Bill57

      national treasure, he is also the voice of Martin in The Elder Scolls 4, just off the top of my head

    • snoobs89


    • GTA


    • Bill

      He lived at the end of Silent Hill, didn't he?

      • http://www.facebook.com/KaylaSmith43 Kayla Smith

        He also lived at the end of National Treasure.

    • Mutt

      Patriot Games

    • bap5g5


    • :-)

      He was fucking brilliant in Game of thrones, pitty he died there too though.

    • Chaos

      Goldeneye, Patriot Games, Flightplan, National Treasure, and Silent Hill.
      Pretty much what everyoneelse has said. Obviously there's more, but those are the ones I've seen him in.

      • Chaos

        Also Troy. Forget that, which makes me feel terrible cause I love that movie. He rocked as Odysseus.

      • Dead Embryonic Cells

        Didn't he live in ronin? He left when it became obvious he was a fraud

        • Shorthairlover

          He doesn't die in Sharpe either.

    • Petey

      national treasure, troy, goldeneye

    • MrJones

      The Island!

  • Mike

    #2 Sean Bean is awesome.

    • its_forge 107p

      Id hit that.

    • Handy

      finish the job james!

      • nicky b

        Alec:"Lovely girl James, tastes like… like strawberries."
        Bond:"I wouldn't know."
        Alec: "I would!"

        RIP 006

  • Frank

    #8 Al would be still hitting that.

    • Frank

      Peggy I mean.

      • Dude

        Katey Segal is still looking fine.

        • http://www.myspace.com/theamericanmaniacs BentWrenches

          I'd do her

          • CB919

            Who's the other one?

            • FrankDuke

              Sofia Vergara, his wife on Modern Family. Oh to be the meat in that milf sandwich.

  • Dantheloser

    #14 Can't tell if dog or chimera…

    • DubYA

      Tim Mcilrath Dog?

  • Eddy

    #8, wait wait wait, you are telling me that THE Ed O'Neill just got the recognition that he deserved like 25 years ago.

    • Waylon

      Ed O'Neill is the man.

    • Master_Rahl

      Agreed Eddy, WAY overdue, but at least someone figured it out before he died.

      • The Pict

        Heck of a nice guy as well, if you ever get the chance to meet him.
        You don't want to know how you get a star on the walk of fame. The process makes no sense at all, unless you're the one collecting the check.

    • Jay

      Definitely overdue. For all the flack Married with Children got it was one of the funniest shows on television. Whenever a character you play becomes an icon, you deserve a star. Everybody knows who Al Bundy is and was.

  • Z_b

    #5 i believe i can flyyyy

    • Prof. Fate

      I love how the girl in the white bikini is all: "I could do that, if I wanted to." <sips drink>

  • justJ

    #2 – he didn't die in National Treasure… Did he make it in Ronin?

    • DutchChiveFan

      He did make it. He also survived in Bravo Two Zero.

    • KyleHeier

      He also survived the battle of Troy…. in that move called…. Troy :)

      • JAS

        Yeah, but since he was Odysseus, he instead gets to be tortured for a decade before going home to find his wife is looking for another man.

    • foul83

      Didn't die in Silent Hill.

  • tits_mcgee_

    #11 is so true! damn you vaginas!

    • minority gang

      Thats how the premium sluts of this site (lg ,dylan ,erin) control the desperate chivers. The poor guys think they will get some action by being suck ups and white knights.

      • JPV310

        I kinda want to see how many of those chivers are going to neg you for that comment, and probably me as well for replying to this thread

      • WOIEj

        100% true.

  • Andyyyyyyy

    #2 No matter what happened, he never died in Sharpe.

  • MonkeyMadness

    #11 Son, never trust something that bleeds for 7 days and doesn't die.

    • ROK247

      it only makes it stronger!

    • Yeppers

      7 days? I must have married the right one then…2-3 days at most.

  • Derk


    New Kids Turbo is awesome. Quality European cinema.

    New Kids New Kids youtube]

    • rikkert

      the movie is soooooo awesome. those guys are like european rednecks. for example: american rednecks love country-music; european rednecks like techno-trash. the humor of the movie is one of a kind and im not sure people who arent from europe will get it…

    • gnur

      The subtitles are almost as awesome as the movie itself :)

      • fibonacci5150

        ohhhhh how I must watch now

    • Omegabigb

      European? surely you mean Dutch.

      • Derk

        Potato Potato.
        Last time I checked the Netherlands were part of Europe.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000367992891 Anthony Verheugt

        please dont like this , i know u guys are better then that

  • tru dat

    #16 Dear Chivettes

    • JPV310

      No not tru dat

      quite the opposite

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