Hot Right Now: The funniest family Christmas pictures submitted to iCHIVE! (20 Photos)

Daily Morning Awesomeness (20 Photos)

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  • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

    FIIIIAAAARRRRRRRHARHARHARsTTT!!! Again!

    Give me some challenge here! Slow Chivers: there's a special site for you: Reddit! Bye!

    Hugs,
    Paula
    – the one you love to hate

    • g3nXsLack3r

      I have a challenge for you…Getting a life where you don't have the time to sit alone in a pool of your own tears and urine constantly refreshing the screen until a new post comes up.

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        But I love the urine! Always wet my pants a bit on purpose. The smell makes me feel like home wherever I go!

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – the one you love to hate

    • Bill57

      you are only important to yourself ya freeky deeky dutch bitch

    • Joe Merica

      Paula_ I loooooooovvvvvvvvvvvvvvvee uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu❤

      • trollface.jpg

        I don't always come first, but when I do …. on paula's face. #uuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

    • Hmmm

      Fuck of Paula. Some people actually sleeping whilst you are impatiently waiting for new Chive Updates. Or do you have a problem with leaving your computer for 2 minutes to go out and get some exercise? What's wrong? Scared of outdoors?

    • Malkintosh22

      Paula is getting boring. You're just doing 'first' posts. That's just poor trolling. Entertain us with your cleverness.

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        Suppose you didn't see the DAR yet?

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – the one you love to hate

    • http://www.facebook.com/gregisgreg Greg Lee

      maybe if you actually looked at the posts before you commented on them

  • James

    please everyone ignore paula from now on! new chive movement! no thumbs or down ever!

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      You! Can't! And what makes you think that would help anyway?

      Oh and "New Chive movement", Yeah right, that'll be the day.

      Hugs,
      Paula
      – the one you love to hate

    • Bill57

      I been sayin that for quite awhile now but no one listens

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        That's because you lack any personality whatsoever.
        Even automatic doors ignore you.

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – the one you love to hate

        • Bill57

          who told you to say that cause that is about the most original thing you have posted in a year. congrats. see I knew in time I could eventually get you to do something orginial

          • McBeastie

            Bill you haven't been paying attention. While most chivers post things like "Oh herro" to asian pics and "get back in the kitchen" to pics of women, Paula has actually been the creative one. Not saying I like it, but the facts is facts.

            • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

              Thank you dear. I'll loosen the clamp on your balls meow, as promised. You're not going home yet though❤

              Hugs,
              Paula
              – the one you love to hate

              • McBeastie

                shut the fuck up Paula

                • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

                  /me tightens the clamp again.

                  Hugs,
                  Paula
                  – the one you love to hate

    • Captain Awesome

      I don't want her to go away, it is a nice interruption to your generic, mindless comments.

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        Close call Cap, close call. I warned you not to wait too long before posting this!
        I'll unplug the soldering iron now, but things already started to smell.
        btw clean the shit of yourself after you take it out.

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – the one you love to hate

        • OmarQ

          Paula, I don't have anything against you, so I on your side this time

          • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

            You must be new here.
            So, what made you leave Reddit?

            Hugs,
            Paula
            – the one you love to hate

    • Just a Chiver

      What we should do is thumbs up her until her intensedebate rating goes to 0. It should be like a game for the chivers to make Paula unimportant.

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        I've been trying for some time to get you guys to do just that (by letting you think I prefer a negative score) but it didn't catch on; too many downvoters…

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – the one you love to hate

  • James

    #23 what a fucking douche

    • http://www.facebook.com/free2shred Shawn Michael George

      Yeah, what kind of jackass dresses up as a snow man in the middle of summer?

      • thechevron

        hahaha

      • Mister H.

        baahahaha

    • ruser

      Yep that's Merica…

      • Jayman

        Fuck off

        • Guestimations

          How rude, you should at least say please.

          • Bill

            Fuck off Please!

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      You meant to reply to James one post above… next time click the right button OK dear?

      Hugs,
      Paula
      – the one you love to hate

    • Anon

      I laughed pretty hard at his reaction.

    • psadna1

      Assuming it was a legit reaction- that's funny. If he knew there was someone in the snowman, that's douche.

      • Bill57

        I felt bad for the kid on the other side

        • PunchHimAgain

          I bet the guy who punched the snowman did too.

          • Jim

            After he was done shitting his pants because a snowman moved?

    • Guestimations

      to be fair at least he didn't set it on fire.

      • crazydog

        heh

    • Max

      Yeah, this guy is a moron, his first reflex is to hit in the face. GJ RETARD

      • Anonimaitons

        I'm guessing your first reaction would be to hump it then.

        • LiT

          because snowmen are dangerous? how about just stepping back?

    • Jeff

      Y. This is garbage. Not funny, just mean.

    • Guest

      BOOM! headshot!

    • Honk

      holy agro

    • Steve

      How come i never see this kind of stuff when i go to the Wildwood Boardwalk?

      • kevin

        RIGHT?! All I see is spiderman now and again

    • OmarQ

      I was just trying to impress his kid, but let's face it; hitting a mascot, everybody wants to do it or has already done it.

    • Graphix

      I couldn't stop laughing at this one, funny on so many levels

  • https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1478892837 Mark Sawa

    #9
    should be in every major office

    • Not Again

      Poor Souls! Forever trapped on the 3rd floor……Ha Ha Ha

    • Azzad Azman

      It's actually Changi Airport in Singapore.

  • dash

    #3 it's a child not a dog don't put it on a leash

    • Dissapointed chiver

      Would you rather run the risk of a kid running out into a road than put them in a child harness? I know my son definetly prefers wearing a harness than having to constantly hold hands when we're out.

      • Dissapointed chiver

        The stupidly oversized chain (or whatever it is) around the kids neck on the other hand….

      • JDB

        Uh, I have 2 kids as well and I have never had a situation where I would have to put my kids in a "harness"…

      • Rick Mybaws

        DARWIN, teach them correctly and pay attention to them, if they get hit, you suck.

    • Bill57

      truly disgusting, I have seen women doiing this. they totally ignore the kid for their shopping. nothing is better than holding your child's hand

      • n_kb

        You know what? Have a kid and then you'll understand the logic behind it.

        • AsciiAdam

          I have a 4 1/2 year old boy and a 1 1/2 year old boy. I do not need a child leash, know why? I pay attention to what my children are doing. It's called parenting and far too few parents actually do it these days.

          • JDB

            Thank you sir. I agree totally. I have a 2 and 7 year old. NEVER have I had to leash them.

          • Joeyk

            Thank you! Wheres the applaud button?

        • Bill57

          I have a 15 year old son and NEVER EVER needed a leash. I never had a disciplin problem where I had to BIND him with anythiing. To bind A CHILD WITH ANYTHING IS CHILD ABUSE plain and simple. educate your child give him/her happiness love whars right and wrong, that child will not go anywhere from you. teach them

          • hMMMM

            You are too old for this site.

            • Bill57

              you are no one to judge

              • giggitygiggitygoo

                ya…nothing like a good ol backhand to keep a kid in line…who needs a leash

      • Dissapointed chiver

        Of course holding your childs hand is the preferable thing (for the parent, most kids on the other hand likely prefer the limited "freedom" they get from the harness), i love holding my sons hand and would rather do so than have him wear his backpack/harness, but it's not always practical. You ever tried holding a childs hand whilst having two hands full with bags of food shopping?

        • Bill57

          Yes many times and my son always stayed with me because I educated him. I raised him to know the importance of staying with mom and dad and not to touch things that don't belong to him. sadly others do not

          • Dissapointed chiver

            Guess what, not every child is the same. Some, for instance, have learning difficulties, others have poor attention/concentration. Some, no matter how much you educate them, as of course you should, are simply to young to fully grasp what they're being taught and will still occasionally see something that they like the look of and make a bee line for it regardless of how well you've taught them not too.

          • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000430036420 D.j. Droneburg

            agreed bill. I have a 4 year olf, and she hasnt ever just darted out into traffic. Maybe she isnt retarded, iunno. If my hands are full, i hand her something to make her feel like she's helping, then she stays with me. Even if it is only the keys to my truck, or my wallet. Seems to work well.

            • Underhill

              Truck keys?? Wallet?? oooKKaaYYY No wait–she's not 17.

          • Hurricane

            Oh and Bill, you're so prefect and so is your little Johnny! Or else you live in the backwoods of the Ozark mountains where there ain't two people to run into. Get a grip on reality man! Not all kids are the same. I have three children, first two never an issue, always stay by my side when shopping and never stray. Third child, loves to explore, will walk off at a moments notice and go check something out that interests him. We had to use a harness in busy malls or festivals just so he wouldn't wander off. And no we were not ingoring him as I suspect your next comment would be! In a mall with several hundred people and trying to shop and pay attention it only takes a minute for a child to walk far enough away to be out of your sight. And he wasn't scared about being away from us either. Just ask all those parents who have lost children around pools how long they turned away. They are not irresponsible parents, they have children who are naturally curious.

            • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1799533892 Aaron Root

              Believe it or not people, society existed before people had the lack of shame to leash their children and somehow we all survived. Probably because your parents weren't lazy dipshits. I have a son, and he doesn't get put on a leash. In a mall when trying to shop….you think you're the first person to encounter this? How about watch them all the time or don't go to the fucking mall then. Lol. Idiots.

              • Cyclone

                Grow the fuck up Aaron. There's really no need to go around throwing out insults, is there?

          • giggitygiggitygoo

            you mean you beat him to be scared to leave your side….asshat

        • Guestimations

          Oh god, two hands full of food shopping and now I can't hold my child, whatever will I do….

    • Guestimations

      It's a pet human…risky pet to have because overall it will cost you a lot more than a dog, and a dog will always love you unconditionally, whereas a pet human-well may grow up to resent you.

      • Bill57

        What an dumb thing to say

        • giggitygiggitygoo

          but its the truth bill and obviously you have no concept of child abductors that look for that 1 moment that your attention is away and then so is your child…..once again ASSHAT

        • Guestimations

          It should be 'What "a" dumb thing to say.'
          Also

          To follow up, what a dumb reply to type and post.

      • ZachBob

        WIN

    • Pete

      I wore a harness when I was a kid – getting on for 30 years ago now. It didn't do me any harm. If anything, its other people who are f**ked up.

      I mean, I even get snarky comments from waiters when I lap the soup from my bowl. What's up with *THAT*?

      • DrROBOTO

        lol he said snarky again!

    • AsciiAdam

      I hate seeing this. Makes me want to go all #23 on these so called parents.

    • Sadly

      It's not just a convenience for the parents, but a protection for the kids. They wander where they shouldn't, and helps protect against kidnapping. Which happens every day in this country.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1799533892 Aaron Root

        Why don't you go research how often kidnapping actually happens and who is many times more likely to be the "kidnapper"

    • NaNaNaMatmaN

      Too many shopping bags to hold your childs hand… "REAL WORLD PROBLEMS"

    • HardCoreMike

      My little brother was fucking spaz. The very second my mom let go of his hand he would RUN. My other brother and I never had this issue but he had soemthign going on and my folks were GREAT parents. Solution is pictured in #3. He was a good kid he just needed to be kept on a leash! LOLz

    • amazon_jade

      IDK about the leash, but that kid should be out of the pacifier don'tcha think?

      • Jen

        im still gonna fuckin laugh when i see your kid on a leash, whether its necessary or not!

    • DaveyJones

      notice how the vast majority of parents who keep their kids on a leash are fat? coincidence? I think not

  • Eddy

    #23 what an ass. Frosty was just chillin when some jumpy moron punches his god damn head off.

    • Dissapointed chiver

      It's amazing how many people's reaction is to instantly physically lash out in that situation. Bet he had a good time explaining to his kid why he just floored a snowman too.

    • Guestimations

      I'd say it's a win-how many people can say they floored a snowman and punched its head off

      • tret20

        anyone who has ever built one?

    • PunchHimAgain

      There are a series of these showing the snowman frightening people. I can't believe this is the first pesron to hit him.

    • Salute My Shorts

      "You dont understand bro, when the pythons sense danger, they act on their own."

      • Smitty

        I'm going to guess that a minute prior, this snowman scared the $h!t out of his daughter.

  • Just Sayin'

    #5 those balls…..can not be unseen.

    • ...

      You've looked on the wrong balls…

    • HJRO

      got some bad news for your parents wanting grandchildren.

    • C Dog

      It looks like they both got hit between the legs with a green apple…

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000430036420 D.j. Droneburg

      this made me giggle haha.

    • lol

      Its a photoshop fail…

  • Patrick

    #2 Good luck stealing that!

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      Yeah, cause it's IMPOSSIBRU to take it off the same way it was put on of course.

      Hugs,
      Paula
      – the one you love to hate

    • chefmaster

      Challenge Accepted

    • https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=10033213 Phil Zawarus

      prolly belongs to a hipster

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        In that case: put on an extra lock to the pole.

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – the one you love to hate

      • Disney

        another hipster joke. keep the original joke content coming, Chivers!

  • http://www.facebook.com/free2shred Shawn Michael George

    #17 Fanning the flames of hate and war! METALLICA!!! m/

    Oh wait, I meant crappy songs and shittier movies. My bad.

    • http://www.facebook.com/free2shred Shawn Michael George

      I know I am going to get flamed for this, so fuck it. They have sucked since …And Justice for All. I hated the Black Album. They haven't done anything worthwhile in 20 years (except maybe Garage, Inc.). Some Kind of Monster was so emo it made Dashboard Confessional look manly, and that is an achievement.

      Besides, ultimately Pantera did it better. My two cents.

      • http://www.facebook.com/free2shred Shawn Michael George

        I know I am going to get flamed for this, so fuck it. They peaked with …And Justice for All. I hated the Black Album. They haven't done anything worthwhile in 20 years (except maybe Garage, Inc.). Some Kind of Monster was so emo it made Dashboard Confessional look manly, and that is an achievement.

        Besides, ultimately Pantera did it better. My two cents.

        • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

          That's…. 4 cents by now.

          Hugs,
          Paula
          – the one you love to hate

      • CB919

        Basically agree…except for the Pantera part. You forgot about them suing their fans over Napster [dating myself :P] I played the first 4 albums so much [dating myself again],that I wore out the cassettes. Once Bob Rock got hold of them, it was all over. Not even the mighty Rick Reuben could fix 20 years of mediocrity.

    • RIP Cliff!

      *Best Metallica shirt EVER!

  • MrAliasMan

    #1 Help! Mrs. Kool-aid's water broke!

    • FLHomesteader

      OH NO!!!

      • A Penguin

        Oh no!

        • ZachBob

          OH NO!!

          • CuriousGeorge

            OH YEAH!

    • Guestimations

      will people stop saying Oh no, because everytime the fucking kool aid guy come busting through the wall.

      • WHOFLUNGDUNG

        You're supposed to wait for a couple more oh noes, THEN the "Oh yeah!" …. You guestimated incorrectly and have hence forth been labeled a failure….

        Also, when failing WITH a Famguy quote you're also labeled a endless Conway Twitty video, or chicken joke.

        Good luck, and godspeed.

        • Rick Mybaws

          FAMGUY? It's a played out Dane Cook joke man.

          • ever1 involved

            Simpson's did it! Oh wait, no they didn't.

      • Jen

        OH NO!

  • Jason Dean

    #3 – in 20 years we'll have a whole generation of girls who only feel protected and safe when they are wearing a harness and leash. AWESOME.

    • Dissapointed chiver

      I bet none of the people here complaining about the harness actually have day to day experience of raising a child. From a very young age, children often want to walk rather than be in a pram/buggy. When holding hands, unless you're holding tight enough to actually hurt the child, it's generally pretty easy for them to wriggle their hand free, so the only other options are to attach them to something or to let them walk compltely freely. Any parent letting a kid the age of the child in the picture walk around completly freely is either very naive or very stupid. No matter how well behaved the kid might be, they're still very young (i'd say about two in the pic) and simply don't always understand that it's not ok to run off.

      • Disappointed Dave

        I can't believe I've lived this long when my parents were too stupid to put me on a leash! Look, I made it guys! Down with leashes, let Darwinism sort it all out.

      • n_kb

        TL;DR

      • Parent Chiver

        I've got two children and am also horrified that people feel the need to put their child on a lead.
        I taught mine to hold hands or get run over – they seemed to understand that.

      • houtini

        you're a moron. The only reason to put a leash on a child is when there is really a huge crowd around and a risk of losing the child easily. Being unable to keep a child in check in such a situation as that in the picture defies normal human intelligence.

      • AsciiAdam

        How about being a parent and keeping an eye on your child. Works wonders.

        • Kraft

          ^This guy

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000430036420 D.j. Droneburg

        I bet i am a parent, and have never leashed my kid. be a parent, keep em close, but dont tether them to anything……kids ≠ dogs

      • Jak

        I have 2 young children and don't own a leash. We are all good so far!

      • TheLondoner

        Toddler harnesses are pretty standard fair here, as far as I can tell. Absolutely nothing wrong with them. Maybe the people who are complaining about them don't live in big cities?

      • Dad

        Holy shit your a fucking idiot

    • psadna1

      Where can I get me some hot girls like that? I'd LOVE a couple of girls who like to wear harnesses and leashes in my basement….!!!😀

      • Jen

        stop having this GD argument.

  • cam

    #17 by looking at his shirt i can tell he's a Metallica "fan"

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      [cue awkward silence…]

      Hugs,
      Paula
      – the one you love to hate

  • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

    #1 WTF is it with that red jar all the time, where is that from?

    Hugs,
    Paula
    – the one you love to hate

    • Mike

      Let me Google that for you:
      http://lmgtfy.com/?q=kool-aid

      • Anon

        Wrong! Thats the Japanese blood donor bottle. Sir Donoro he is know as.

    • AssClown

      "Kool-Aid Man is the mascot for Kool-Aid, a popular drink mix. The character has appeared on television and print advertising as a fun-loving gigantic pitcher, filled with red Kool-Aid and marked with a fingerpainted smiley face. He is typically featured interrupting children mid-conversation by smashing through walls and furnishings, brandishing a filled pitcher, and yelling "Oh Yeah!".

      • KNOB

        Can't tell if trolling or dumb. Dumb troll?

        • Mister H.

          some people don't get the idea of "troll"

      • MonkeyMadness

        Please don't feed the troll. She knows what it is. She's just being her regular dumbass self.

  • strangeperson

    #13
    In Communist China, bike rides you

    • Stevo

      dude doesn't even look chinese?

      Y U SO RACIST?

      • strangeperson

        Cause sayin' " In democratic India, bike rides you" doesn't sound as funny.
        Has nothing to do with racism.

  • Bob

    #23

    He was cocked and ready to swing before even approaching. Insecure tough-guy douche with "something" (nothing) to prove.

    • Bill57

      pretty free with his hands till he realizes He's in a world of shit for assault and battery

      • Guestimations

        for hitting a snow man…hardly.

  • http://www.facebook.com/richard.c.rice Richard Rice

    #!

    OH YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Ezee

      Haw haw you effed up!

    • A Penguin

      He was just exciteded about pound…

    • Mister H.

      haha idiot…

    • http://www.facebook.com/richard.c.rice Richard Rice

      goddamn it

  • http://www.facebook.com/richard.c.rice Richard Rice

    #1

  • davey

    #23
    like a boss!
    Fuck u Frosty and the little girl next to ya! Biatch!

    • Ha.Ha.

      hasn't school started agaiN?

  • George

    #5 She looks hot so I hope theChive takes some time to try and FIND HER PLZZZZ

    • Anon

      fail#1

      • Anon

        crap I failed too…….

    • Anon

      fail#2

      • Anon

        and I failed twice………….

    • random-random

      holy f#ck zerg rush of comments

  • dashete

    #20 Human traffickers have really just stopped trying.

    • Bill57

      couldn't figure out what was going on in this one

      • AsciiAdam

        took me a min to see it as well. That is one big A$$ Jansport backpack.

    • Master_Rahl

      all I know is this guy is all sack

    • http://www.facebook.com/shaned25 Shane Daniel

      Just another freshman from OSU who thinks he's cool because he has something different and he stands out from the crowd. What a douche!

  • Jacob

    #22 – Real or fake? And if real, what the hell and where the hell is it?

  • Gene

    I swear, the last picture got me laughing =D

  • king me

    find the girl in #5, she's a babe

  • Joe Merica

    Paula I LOVE u!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Da Sandman

    #23 must be in jersey

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