Everything on the internet is true (28 photos)

  • theonehodge

    #6! That's maad!!

    • tits_mcgee_

      I'm gonna go ahead and just… not believe that? Damn, too much for me.

      • HUMONGO

        Well, for one…..Lincold was killed in Ford's Theater.

        • HUMONGO

          Lincoln, not Lincold. Dammit!

          • jason

            Ford makes/owns Lincoln

            • The Dude

              Idiot. He was talking about President Lincoln being killed in Ford's Theatre.

        • northerner

          At least those of us old enough to have been taught accurate, actual history, caught that. Wonder how many blew past that and didn't know it was wrong…hmmmm.

      • Fleeb

        A lot of it isn't true. Check it out on snopes.com. Still some interesting coincidences though.

    • Dunny_

      and Marilyn Monroe was dead more than a year before JFK was shot.

      *The more you know.*

      • Blah

        JFK was a necrophiliac

    • arschloch

      Replace "with" with "in" in the penultimate line.

      • drew

        I hope not, based on what Dunny just said…

    • http://www.facebook.com/ranDgallegos Randy Gallegos

      and apparently its been around for a longgggggggg time.

      • northerner

        Yep, heard these comparisons LONG ago. Not long after JFK was shot. Yeah, I'm old.

    • matt

      Am I the only one who spotted the "assinator" typo?

      • Machinist

        Also, "assisnated" and "assissnation"! I vote those words be made legal use… 😀

    • DeRaNgEd

      interesting thing is Marilyn Monroe died in 62 and JFK died in 63

    • https://www.facebook.com/kevin.mcgandy Kevin McGandy

      Lincoln was assassinated in Fords Theater.

  • TheDarkKnight


    Lincoln's "assinator"?

    How about we stick with real words and go with "assassin" ?

    Oh.. and Kennedy was shot on November 22, 1963 – Marilyn Monroe died August 5, 1962

    • That Guy

      not to mention the assassin for Kennedy was never caught. Oswald was accused but he did not kill Kennedy.

      • fibonacci5150

        if Oswald did, they would have found Lincoln's penis in his hand.

    • steve

      everything on the internet is true

    • Alumni72

      That wasn't part of the original bit – when I was a kid (1960s) I bought a novelty penny with Kennedy's head facing Lincoln's, and it was accompanied by a list of the same similarities – the one with Marilyn Monroe wasn't on it, and the first time I saw that addition it said that Kennedy WAS in Marilyn Monroe. So originally it was added to the list as a crude joke, nothing more.

  • 'Lil Jon

    #1 Thats why Ghadafi is so pissed off!!

    • Darkside


    • Machinist

      But he doesn't need to be a dick about it…

  • tits_mcgee_

    #23 I pull that one all the time

    • Veronica

      Me too…. maybe that's why I'm single…

      • ywehout

        at least you can admit it

  • LeMac

    #3 get outta my head

    • psadna1

      Creepy sign is creepy. And true. o.0

    • Leeks

      Doesn't work for us lefties. My left hand was on the mouse.

      • Jules

        I'm a leftie and was scrolling with the arrows…Made me freak for a sec.

    • some bloke

      Well played, chive…

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=587208531 Benton McGrath

      Does it make me gay if my feet/legs weren't crossed?

      • Jen


    • ddd

      try wording it a bit better: "take off your left hand from…"

    • OwnerOfYou

      got me

    • Astate

      Seriously! haha too weird!

  • Superman

    #7 pick up your pants bitch and get back to the kitchen. Everyone on the chive wants a damn sandwich and you better get their order right!

    • Master_Rahl

      this will ruin me. now, every time I see a saggy-assed ANYONE, I will be thinking of this deformed pic. That'll go over nicely when I laugh in the face of the next mofo I see dressed this way.

    • sooty


  • Major_Rocker

    #25 I like it.

    • A BiPolar Guy

      I've lived it.

      • Bill57

        no you didn't you are not dead yet, lol

    • fool

      christ, that is the ugliest artist-rendered baby ive ever seen

      • Fleeb


  • xoxo

    #6 FALSE. Marilyn Monroe died before Kenendy was assassinated.

    • newscot

      Good catch. Now look up all the rest of it and report back with your findings.kthx

    • WTFurCOUCH

      He went to visit her at the cemetery. True story.

    • First Time Caller

      FALSE – shot in FORD's Theatre

      • http://www.facebook.com/ranDgallegos Randy Gallegos

        ford owns lincoln. therefore, lincoln theatre. its loose, but fit the rest of the conundrum.

        • THIS IS MADNESS!!!

          No, I've heard the right one before and it was pretty cool, but #6 got a lot of shit wrong and ruined how cool it really is.

    • That Guy

      well everything about lee harvey is irrelevant because he didn't shoot Kennedy. you're a dense nugget if you think he did.

      • THIS IS MADNESS!!!

        Pics or it didn't happen.

    • Andy


    • Peter

      Lincoln was shot in Fords theater also.

  • bryan

    #3 creeped me out…is someone watching me through my window?

    • Shadow Lurker

      I AM

  • Verbal_Kint

    #6 He was IN Marilyn Monroe…. The similarities get stranger and stranger…

    • http://www.facebook.com/ranDgallegos Randy Gallegos

      actually he visited her at the cemetery, she was already dead.

      • Captain Obvious

        your ability to notice sarcasm is amazing!

        • Bill57

          all the little nuances aside, I believe the point is history repeats itself

  • newscot

    #3 How did you know!?

    • phiz33

      I know right? A little startling.

      • Wyatt

        That just blew my mind.

  • bryan

    #25 so true.

  • KenRayJen

    #28 so true, so damn true

    • Justin

      True if you don't know shit about Ableton, Traktor, Serato, or turntablism

      • jpp407

        This is not one iota true, Coming from a "DJ" myself (I also hate using that acronym because of posers who do claim to be dj's whilst they use a itunes on a ipod, or tractor and use a midi and press auto sync.)

        It is unfair that people like myself get associated with the ones who cant produce music or mix on anything from cdjs to turntables.

        • jpp407

          //rant over.

  • http://Homes4Men.com Stafferty

    #10 At least I'm ahead of schedule. SLR me.

    • Jim

      It says what you want, not what you get.

      • Kraft

        pfffft Mercedes? 40% of road rage is caused by them 😀

  • Kay

    # 12… So True!!!

    • http://thechive.com/ Turduckenn


    • its_forge

      I simply can't understand the number of people who insist on putting a space after the #.

      It's #12. For the love of Christ.

  • http://theberry.com/ walkingtheriver

    #23 Truth… It sucks

  • strings42

    #6 – "Lincoln was shot in a theatre named Kennedy"

    No he wasn't.

    • newscot

      Yeah… I'm Canadian and even I know he was shot in Ford's theatre…

      • FreakyBobo

        Also, Kennedy was shot in a Ford……fuck, this is just weird.

    • Derek

      Nope, he was in Ford's Theatre. The supposed coincidence is that Kennedy was riding in a Lincoln. Lincoln's are manufactured by Ford. The Lincoln Motor Company was also named after ol' Honest Abe.

    • The Dude

      Booth wasn't found in a warehouse, either. He was found in a shed.

  • AssClown

    #6 tl;dr

    • A BiPolar Guy

      thanks for letting everyone know you are an illiterate moron with no imagination.

      • AssClown

        Mmm, there's a difference between being lazy and being unable to read or rite (see what I did there?) …no imagination?! Scroll 2 comments down bra…

    • That Guy

      5 Popular Phrases That Make You Look Like an Idiot, # 3. TL;DR

      I could have written about any number of internet cliche. "Fail," for example. It's overused and usually bandied about by idiots. But the thing is, some things actually do fail in their execution. There are situations where the term is appropriate, even if pathetically conveyed. Not true for TL;DR. TL;DR is never right. Yes, some things are too long, but in order to figure that out, there's something you have to do first: read it. Only then can you say whether the presentation lasted longer than the idea. Too long; wish I didn't read (or "TL;WIDR") would make sense, but that's about it.

      But what irks me most about TL;DR is that people who use it have no shame. No one is perfect. We all have failings, but we're supposed to be ashamed of them. We're supposed to keep our sins and shortfalls in a dark place we hope no one ever finds. "Fuck that," says the Internet. "I'm functionally retarded, and I don't care who knows it! Words? Gay. Who reads words? Sounds pretty lame." So go ahead; keep using "TL;DR." Just know that it is not an abbreviation for "too long; didn't read," but, instead, "hi, I am a miserable cretin of the Internet that must be spoon-fed pictures and factoids or I will piss myself." You might be the type of person who disagrees that that's what it means, but trust me, it's what everyone who's smarter than you is thinking. And since you're not so big on reading, that's a lot of people.

      • Disappointed Dave


      • AssClown


  • Z_b

    #14 Fucking awesome

    • ferro

      tempted to try this out myself

  • AssClown

    #14 That means Paula's a big fat dick.

    • perv

      or a dirty asshole

  • http://alternatingcurrentnews.wordpress.com achooooo

    Murray, you will win Grand Slam one day: Nadal (Tennis)


  • whirrrrr

    #17 And thank god that thousands of research grant dollars/pounds/euros/chickens were spent on bringing this statistic to us!

    • Master_Rahl

      what's the percentage of people who tried licking their elbows after reading this. where's THAT research? I want stats.

    • Mike Rotch

      I know the chive specializes in finding women…but who is this guy? He looks exactly like my roomie…goatee and all.

  • ithilmor

    you spelled conceived wrong

  • Dan

    #17 I'm normal!

  • http://www.facebook.com/palm.mark Mark Palm

    #3 That's some scary shit right there!! HOW DID THEY KNOW?

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