Daily Morning Awesomeness (20 Photos)

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  • Mike

    Go blow an AIDS patient Paula

    • MikeOlmos

      Might as well say "First." You know you want to.

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      Owww…. did you hear that? your karma just took a serious hit…

      Hugs,
      Paula
      – the one you love to hate

    • ahawkeyeguy

      There's the line… oops… you crossed it. Not even remotely funny. Sorry. Kinda. Not really.

    • Marklar

      Probably wouldn't give her HIV anyway

    • ZachBob

      where you should be | <- the line -> you

      FAIL

    • Petey

      not cool dude

    • greasdupdeafguy

      hold on now, are we all against an AIDS patient getting head? I for one am not, let them get their nut

  • MikeOlmos

    #11 Agree.

    • Beretrouge

      ESPECIALLY on toddlers!

      • amrith777

        Words=Taken

      • https://www.facebook.com/ricardofk Ricardo Feldhaus Krisanoski

        That is so creepy

    • Grim

      sweet tooth's baby is creepy

    • Guestimations

      I think IT would be more frightening if it was a toddler instead of tim curry

      • MCS

        It's the Pint-sized Slasher!

        ……
        Fallout 3? Nobody? Damn.

  • Arthur

    #16 i dont know what to think….

    • kaidoh101

      Not sure if hot….. or not….

      • Ezee

        Looks like whoopee goldberg

    • https://www.facebook.com/stingstang Shayne Steenholdt

      this scares the crap out of me, then i think of the song, you can leave your hat on….

    • Sploooge

      thinking hard…………….. but no.

      • Mac

        I have the weirdest boner right now

    • BulletproofMonk

      I'd hit it.

      she's just a butterface…
      (body's hot, but her face is not)

      everyone needs some lovin
      giggity all riiight.

      • The_Dood

        Thanks for explaining what a butterface is, I'm pretty sure we were all wondering.

    • patov40

      Don't know what to think? Too late, you're already…..well, dead. :p

      • arTee

        Doesn't matter, had sex!

    • Ha.Ha.

      I know what I'm thinking….you all are a bunch of sickos. Just b/c you see one whole tit (half of left, half of right) you automatically disregard the reptile skin, the dinosaur-like claws…

      • Rufio Foo

        this. the Chivers just set a new standard for the creepy shit they'll consider masturbating to.

    • molonlabe11b

      Always wanted to fuck a predator, just didn't know there were predator chicks, now I don't have to be ashamed of those feelings

    • Tommmmmm

      It's a Sexual Predator….

      • JOWI

        the joke has been done already. sorry.

    • Pants

      Just tell her you like it with the mask on.

    • Neville Bartos

      id still hit it… 0_o

    • tyler

      rule 34

    • SenorWilson

      I literally said the exact same thing when I saw this…

  • Japanese Facts.

    #9
    This House is a prison!
    On Planet Bullshit!
    In the galaxy of This Sucks Camel Dicks!

    • Lower

      Boats n Hoes.

    • Balls

      *another Step Brothers quote*

      • Nicceceee

        * completely different step bothers quote to reply to ur step brother quote*

        • Richard Jenkins

          *another step brothers quote that will receive generally less traffic because it probably wasn't said by Will Ferrel or John C. Reilly

          • Eddie

            *kittens*

    • Timmy

      Prestige Worldwide…

      • ale

        IT´S FUCKING CATALINA WINE MIXER…

        • asdf

          so many activities

  • Paul

    I am proud with the kids from #15

  • Buttman

    #2 I'd tap that.

    • Chris

      I love the idea there are chicks cool enough to even consider this…

      • BIll57

        looks good to me

        • Bill You're Too Old

          Bill, isn't she less than half your age? You pedo bear.

          • Jen

            Bill, Shannon Coverdale, its_forge and a whole bunch of old dudes should create a chive for old people and GTFO

            • Jen

              complete with wrinkled chivettes, trips down memory lane posts from the 1930s…

    • MOAR

      Oh cool, furry ears.

    • R2G Fan

      I concur. She looks fun.

    • Nathanial Hörnblowér

      there was no stormtroopers like this is star wars….

    • jimbojones

      Execute Order 69!

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/UncleBubba Maffu

        "In pursuance of the authority contained in the third paragraph of section 6 of the act entitled "An act to regulate and improve the civil service of the United States," approved January 16, 1883, the heads of the several Executive Departments are hereby directed to amend their several classifications so as to include firemen among the employees classified thereunder."

        ??

    • ROK247

      execute order 69

    • NAACP

      execute order 69

      • NAACP LIKE COCK

        see my name

    • zing

      Nerds = Virgins

      • http://www.facebook.com/bladehuraska Erving Otero

        tits or gtfo >.>

      • hakai20

        I'm a nerd, married, with 2 kids. Your argument is invalid.

    • JHL1

      Tell her that I have the droids she's looking for.

    • GPH

      I am pretty sure that doesn't met the 501st CR Guidelines…

    • Kearvelli

      I know this girl. I went to school with her, she is a very cool chick who does shit like this all the time. She's Australian though (clearly way too cool to be American), so have fun with the funnel webs. I have them as pets.

      • SmokeyTheBear

        Marry me, please.

  • laxcat36

    #10 some guys will do anything for pussy(ies)

    • Bill Murray

      uhh… shopped much?

    • Zoey

      He HAS to get it there in under 30 minutes, or it comes out of his pay!

  • vent187

    #11 especially a toddler…

    • Fuhrer Montag

      Tranquility Lane…..

    • Brohan

      Clearly a Clone Trooper?

  • http://www.facebook.com/arrogantgod Dave Trump

    Never imagined I'd say this, but Predator is hotter than Storm Trooper

    • chefmaster

      the Storm Trooper would give a better bj though

    • indifference

      You have problems my friend.

      • BIll57

        still not as gay as twilight

        • Jen

          still not as gay as you…don't you have grandkids to babysit or something

          • BIll57

            pretty bold statement considering you know nothing about me. and yes I have grand kids

          • Dave

            you damn hoe. stfu, get back to the kitchen and make a ham sammich. NOW!!

            • Jen

              i will slap the shit outta you

  • MrAliasMan

    #5 #7 Not a F**k was given that day.
    #9 You just had to say the word neutered while holding that.
    #10 Hellboy would be pleased.

    • Wazzup

      Who's Hellboy?

      • http://www.facebook.com/bladehuraska Erving Otero

        ^fail

    • ballsballsninja

      I hate fags who do what you just did.

      • Shadow Lurker

        Uh-oh! I think someone has some Daddy issues You wanna talk about Slugger?

  • Garrett7292

    #19
    WANT.

  • waryee

    another happy customer with a mail order bride! #13

    • Bubba

      Shotgun wedding: you're doing it wrong!

      • float

        its a mother fuckin pellet gun, dip shit

        • The_Dood

          That's why they're doing it wrong, numb nuts.

    • NaNaNaMatmaN

      FIND HER!!!!

    • Jacknife

      If this is how they cut the cake, this is awesome!

  • SuperiorTo8

    #17 nature is still my favorite source of violence

    • SuperiorTo8

      Also… Imagine what he could do with a freaking laser beam on his head

      • BIll57

        another flying rat gets it's due

    • Ezee

      Chive – thanks for posting the last moments of that bird's life. Watching it struggle to see another day really made my morning.

      Fucking bastards.

      Yes, nature is violent, yes the shark needs to eat, but mighty nice you consider showing those last moments as 'awesome.'

      Fuck you.

      • John

        I couldn't have said it better myself Ezee

        • Jen

          you two should get together and fuck some animals

      • Dan

        Fuck off, hippy.

        • Hippy Dan

          Yea! Chive needs to start putting up slaughter house videos. It'll be hilarious!

      • ROK247

        there is a tree outside that is crying for justice – you better go hug it.

      • riverdog

        I think it is here because that plays out almost exactly the way Quint goes down in Jaws … which is pretty freaking amazing

      • http://facebook.com/daaneskjold Chazz_B

        go qq to PETA or something… here is to Keep Calm and Chive On!

        • EZEE

          Actually a Radical Right Wing Extremist here who starves children and throws old people into the street.

          So you are saying that it is fun and enjoyable to see a creature die thsi way? Struggling for it's life? Why not post faces of death on Chive? That would be a laugh riot! And why not, slaughter house video? I can see the knee slapping going on!

          So keeping calm mean and chiving means posting this crap?

          Of course, this site also wanted to get the name of a guy in a halloween costume so they could harrass him (they took that post down), and posted a photo of someone endorsing violence against a radio talk show host (which then later on, happened). Just great stuff! Chive should be so proud.

          Oh – I know – that porn where the girl in heels stomps on kittens! Great addition to Cat Saturday!

          • http://facebook.com/daaneskjold Chazz_B

            Well the only one that is showing radicality on his perspectives here, is you sir. There is no relationship between what we are discussing (you getting all aggressive with a page / community) out of a GIF of stuff that is actually a RARE occurance (hence the Awesome part). Everything has some tendencies of hurting someones sensibility and in this case it is you. You are entitled to your own opinions but the point where you externalize them with insults you fail at your very own principle.____Just think and read in your examples and your comparations, and keep hating. The things you mention were probably done by people like you, taking simple stuff too seriously. That is what i think.

          • RAC

            Lighten up Francis!

          • Jim

            Holy shit, what a baby.

            • Jim

              Throwing a temper tantrum, because someone dared post a nature video.

              Get lost child, go grow up. I think you are too immature to be on a site that has boobs anyway.

      • Paulo

        Holy shit, get off the internet if you're this sensitive.
        That's nature at it's finest. The shark is doing what it does best.
        I thank Chive for finding this little gem because that is a rare sight.
        Seriously, get off the internet.

        • fool

          i agree with you completely, but thats not exactly rare. thats an immature albatross being eaten as it learns to fly. because of the size of their wings, albatrosses require a lot of strength to lift off from the water. to make it worse, they have to do it in the relatively choppy surf. great whites take advantage of this every year. when they are learning to fly, if the albatross cant muster the strength to become entirely airborne quickly enough, it becomes shark food. it happens plenty often each year. a few thousand times each year.

          • http://thehidden.squarespace.com/ Grey

            Looks like a Tiger Shark to me

            • http://www.facebook.com/ranDgallegos Randall Gallegos

              ya i thought white too at first, then saw his nose better.

      • schnizz

        PETA loving mofo's

      • Jim

        I would say a great white shark is one of the most awesome animals on the planet.

        If you are offended by nature, I believe you should stick your head back in sand where you feel safe and ignorant.

      • BIll57

        some animals have to eat to live others have to die so the preditor can live these are the facts of life. there is a food chain in the world and you sir are a bottom feeder

      • Dixie Normous

        boo hoo bitch.

    • Kevin

      "Damn nature you scary"

    • Kodos

      tastes like chicken

    • yarrrrr

      The people who bitch about this are probably the same people that make Shark Week one of the most watched TV week of the year. On those shows they are doing nothing but destroying seals. How is this any different?

      • Adam

        Tiger Shark I believe. I was personally caught off guard by the video as well. I don't like seeing things die….I also made 6lbs of pulled pork today. It magically appeared in my grocers freezer.

    • SuperiorTo8

      OK… How can anyone be sensetive about something from a nature docco, when your on a site that has pedo bear jokes, a "Creepy" option as one of the categories, and entire posts dedicated to "A low down good dirty time" Does this kind of thing really surprise you? More so, should you even be on this site if this kind of thing offends you.
      And most importantly… Do you really think any of us CARE!?

      • Quethos

        Teaspoon of cement for all of you hippy bastards!

  • Brenda

    #11 I knew AssClown wasn't shit.

  • ros

    #13
    Russia.

    • Kaars

      Teaching your wife to shoot is like saying "I want to commit suicide… but I want it to be a surprise".

      • mikey

        He's doing a piss-poor job of "teaching"…next photo shows him dropping the weapon and puttin' a pellet in her eye…

  • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

    Anyone for some more cybersex like in yesterday's DAR?

    Hugs,
    Paula
    – the one you love to hate

    • J_Dub

      not sure to what you are referring but will let you know after a thorough review of yesterdays DAR and comment section…
      – if it involves a trip to your basement the answer is probably yes.

    • Ling

      bloodninja will always be cooler than you, so find some other pseudo clever way to try to keep people's interest… troll hag.

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        Indeed he will! For those that don't know it: check this out: http://funwithsex.org/
        Text only so sort of SFW too.

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – the one you love to hate

    • J_Dub

      No rohypnol or club needed Paula,
      hopefully you are recovering from the splintered stool leg. They See Me Trollin, I'll grab a forklift to help you get paula back into the bulldozer from yesterday, we'll figure out how to get her back into the basement later… first things first is we need to get a fresh can of Cheese Whiz…. no telling where the last one went.

      • amrith777

        *goes to review ALL of yesterday's DAR,even though convinced it's a bad idea* o.0

        • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

          Page one dear ❤ , I usually only visit page one.
          It's under the posting of user "kill Paula".

          Hugs,
          Paula
          – the one you love to hate

        • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

          BTW still unclear if you're a boy/girl/undecided.
          Oh well, doesn't matter, redhead sex is always good.

          Hugs,
          Paula
          – the one you love to hate

  • HAGGARD

    #1 Come on baby light my fire…

    • gutterville

      Its more like come on baby its time to come down now!

    • patov40

      Storm? B)

  • rga

    #5 you know what they say, if it fits, might as well put it in

  • Pokepoke

    DOnt mess with McGruber!

  • sinophil05

    MacGruber hell yeah!!!!!

  • jpp407

    #4 Reeeeee!

  • LaLakers2408

    #22
    CANT STAND DOUCHEBAGS

    • dorkfish

      While they are out in the woods trying to outsmart a turkey dinner, I'll be doing their girlfriends.

    • Charlie_Cheen

      It's just a picture of two cute girls in prom dresses, what's wrong with that?

      • patov40

        WINNER!! (But I'm still putting my less funny comment after yours)

      • mikey

        FOUR girls…dressed like that, the two on the outside have had their testicles removed…once they begin to grow hair on their bodies, the real girls will move on.

    • patov40

      Meanwhile, in Texas….. B)

    • Underhill

      #22 –Might as well wear camo, once they are married they'll
      be invisible anyway.

    • Dave

      all I hear is dueling banjos in the background.

      • G-Nasty

        I think you mean fiddles.

    • Dan

      Those girls must be either really embarrassed or really pissed. They both have great dresses and look fantastic, and their boyfriends look like morons.

    • BleedC&B

      I like it. You guys just dont understand the art of hunting

    • IWouldRatherBeNaked

      Not camo, it looks like thousands of birds crapped on their suits.

    • Trainwreck92

      I live in a small town in Texas and this is not as rare as I would hope. A new Wal Mart opened in town today and parents checked there kids out of school early to go see it, this is my life.

  • chucklit finga licka

    #2 ewww fatty

    • axiom

      and thus the trolling begins…. shes not fat

    • Britva

      Yeah i hate it when i girl has a winning smile, large breasts, a body were nothing hangs and can let herself have fun. Fat slag.

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        AND LOVES STAR WARS! HELLOOOO!!!! Winner!

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – the one you love to hate

    • http://twitter.com/StrongAsMeat @StrongAsMeat

      Yeah that girl in black behind the mega hottie is pretty gross.

    • LaLakers2408

      nothing wrong with thickness…shes not fat

    • Coldzilla

      #2 Nice!

      And I stick to the premise that before anyone can call anyone else fat they must post a CURRENT pic of themselves 😉

    • Bud Lee

      Thick…not fat…I'll take thick any day of week. 90% of the time a thick girl is awesome in bed, and can make one hell of a sammich.

      • http://facebook.com/daaneskjold Chazz_B

        scientificaly tested by me… and also this girl is a cutie

    • StinkyCologne

      I love a chick with cures in all the right places. Win!

      • StinkyCologne

        Curves*

        • JHL1

          Cures are good too.

    • Average Chiver

      *another generic comment claiming she isn't fat she's "curvy", or some variation of the same exact thing at least 10 other people have already typed before me so i can ride the "thumbs-up" bandwagon*

      • six

        Then you showed up to begin the "trolling" bandwagon*

    • MonkeyMadness

      said by a fat troll living in his mother's basement.

  • dashete

    #23 Pound some Cunth!

    • nice

      Reminds me of Road House. Dalton ftw!

    • ballstein

      Just tell me what you want me to fuck!!

  • chucklit finga licka

    #22 how did 2 cool guys get such average looking dates

    • Mista J

      What 2 guys? I don't see any

    • http://www.facebook.com/ranDgallegos Randall Gallegos

      no one can read sarcasm these days…. you have my thumb.

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