It’s Monday, you could use some motivation (36 Photos)

  • Atheist

    #5 – Advise for the single dudes out there.
    When she goes from girlfriend to wife, you will never get a BJ anymore. Very sad, but true ….

    • ABO

      You need yourself a new wife.

    • dagleja3

      You must be doing something wrong because that's not true!

    • Biz02

      Married 6 years and still get them on the regular…you're doing it wrong.

      • au naturale

        prob bc ur not a little pussy and your wife still respects u- keep up the good work biz

    • Stevo

      all the liars on here ๐Ÿ™‚

    • dungydouche

      Thanks for clearing that up. The photo doesn't make that point clear enough…

    • toPunornot

      Your wife sucks.

      • ROR

        Or doesn't, as it seems…

        • xxxx

          not him, at least

    • DoucheMcFuckstain

      only if you have a shitty wife.

    • Laura

      Not true. I give my husband BJ's all the time…Your wife must suck. Oh wait. HAHA!

      • au naturale

        but do u swallow? Thats the true test…

        • Laura

          Of course ๐Ÿ™‚

          • Joe

            After 8 years of marriage, it seems my wife forgot what a BJ is …..

    • Its420somewhere

      Thank you for explaining what this photo did not.

    • MGLucky

      Must suck to be married to your wife i get BJ's all the time. Or you must be doing it wrong!

      • DrROBOTO

        must suck married wife doing wrong blehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

        • douche

          Dude your wife still sucks dick on a regular basis. Ever lunch break last time I check…wait…what time is it?

    • tonicmole

      Huh? Why is that. I think your wives are lame.

    • mikey

      Yup…yer doin' it wrong

    • Ken

      Interesting. I would disagree. Pretty much stayed…..well now that I think of it… fuck me…. it's true. =(

      • Joe

        Yep, it's true with me too

    • Married

      marriage – you're doing it wrong.

      • Jon

        my wife stopped calling it "her time of the month" and started to call it blow job week!

  • dim

    #9 weapons of mass distraction

    • Jimmy

      Weapons of mass erections ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • Tom

      PIRATE???? Shes an assassin, her name is Molotov Cocktease. & that weapon she doesnt need? Is the gun in her left hand. Im way to much of a Venture Brothers fan.

      • dungydouche


      • JDB

        Yep, thank you.

      • @theterryburke

        nothing wrong with that

      • Nick


        • DrROBOTO

          brock fucking sampson

          • Jessica Condrey

            Thank You Tom;) What a dumb ass who called Miss Cocktease a Pirate 0_o
            Go Team Venture!

          • ReallySeriously

            I got dibs on his cigarette butt!!!

          • Wannabe Housewife


      • Randall Gallegos
      • Rocks Off

        Tom, I have no fucking idea what you just said.

      • Logs

        Hank looks like the indians are back

      • RubberDogTurds

        nerdy is hot… keep it up

        • Tom

          Thanks but nothing is nerdy about The Venture Bros. Everyone I know likes/watches the show.

      • tagbadger

        no such thing as too much of a fan!

      • Brock Samson

        I'd hit that.

      • SheriffPablo

        Go team Venture!!!

  • I_am_elf

    #8 screw the psp, game boys rule.

    • dungydouche


      • OWIj

        *sigh* honestly? come up with something better.

    • Alex

      An original Gameboy is definitely better than a PSP.

    • Salute My Shorts

      I would've been pumped to get this. My original GB bit the dust years ago

  • guy

    #11 and #32 Is why i hope to never have a girl!

    • Fleeb

      Discipline them when they do wrong, praise them when they do right, and love the hell out of em when they are just being themselves. It''s not hard.

    • Luke

      I'm mirin brah. those are the aesthetics of the gods. R.I.P Zyzz

    • xspader

      This is why I have a baseball bat….

  • DutchChiveFan

    #19 is going to scare the shit of one of my coworkers , I'll send him this pic….

    • Will

      Be sure to post his reaction.

      • DutchChiveFan

        Did not get a reaction yet, heard some screaming down the hallway though. Havent seen him since….

    • Justin

      Remind you of Red Dead Revolver?

  • Dagoth Wit

    #9 Pirate? Someone doesn't watch the Venture Brothers.

    • oneup

      Thank you sir, I was about to post the same thing.

    • Jake Baker

      molotov cocktease ftw.

      • Jessica Condrey

        lol you beat me to posting that exact reply Dagoth ๐Ÿ˜‰

      • guest

        mmm… molotov…

    • Jed

      I watch Denture Brothers, it's the sequel.

  • joel

    #9 my wife, your welcome.

    • dagleja3

      If that's true, all I can say is excellent catch!

      • Brutal Deluxe

        And since it's not true, how dare you sully the internet with your lies!

        • Zedhere

          I wonder what the first lie on the internet was?

          "Yes, that is me in the picture."

          "Im 120lbs. 5'6" 36-24-36"

    • ArthurDSellers

      Does it upset your wife to know that she married a dumba** who doesn't know the difference between 'your' and 'you're'?

    • Shadow

      PIcs or it didn't happen.

    • Panama99

      Don't bullshit them….that is my wife.

    • grammar? youhavenone

      whose welcome? not mine.

    • joel

      everything on the internet is true. you should know that by now

  • Jelly

    #32 Anyone Mirin?

    • jpp407

      come at me bro.

    • Anonymous

      How can you mir when zyzz is dead

      • jpp407

        the zyzz legacy will live on.

        • ts1231

          rest in peace sweet prince

    • mangos

      Jokes on the chive, they're all octopuses.

      • Kraft

        they have tentacles?

        • Sendug

          Please Responsd

  • patov40

    #6 – "How Troll Clones get Laid".

    • correction

      “How i was conceived“.

      • patov40

        Troll clone to girl, "Hey, that's my bed!" :p

    • Trollhunter


      • Really?

        WTF? Is this not alluding to rape? I don't get it.

  • dude

    #29 so when is someone gonna cut in a pic of pedo bear saying "challange accepted!" ?

    • The_Dood

      My thoughts exactly.

    • Kaars, an article by SeanBaby. His stuff is hilarious!

    • WOIjw

      the moment originality dies completely.

  • Iam_Dave

    made me laugh
    made me thank god I have sons
    made me wish

  • joel

    i make her dress like this on Halloween so when she divorces me, which is inevitable. at least i can fap to the pirate that took my loot.

  • Biz02

    #21 – I'd still like them wrapped around my head.

    • Al Capwn

      I'd like to see the original pic.

      • Juiol

        That's a mighty curve the wardrobe does on the left…

        • bubba

          Her thighs bend light.

  • misschris

    #27 WTF IS THAT?!

    • dashete

      A tumour. Yes they get that big.
      How they get that big without anyone noticing? Fuck knows.

      • Ahnold

        "it's not a toomah!"

        • Red

          Well done Ahnold, epic LOL.

      • JBinNC

        I'm sure that people noticed, the problem is, surgery isn't always available to those who can't afford it or live in a country with sub-par medical facilities.

    • @svp318

      I don't know, but whatever it is, I still don't think it deserves to be called Snooki

      • DrROBOTO

        is it blendable? sry im bored…

    • teh dude

      Yes its a tumor, but why no one has considered the possibility this is a veterinary procedure astounds me.

      • Jacob

        Probably because the ratio of the size of the tumor to the size of your average household pet is a lot harder to comprehend than the ratio of the size of that to your average human being. And it would be a hell of a lot cheaper just to put a pet down than have surgery of that magnitude done and plenty of people out there care more about money than their pets.

        • ReallySeriously

          Ever hear of animals like…idk…elephants or the like?

          • its_forge

            Cow, horse, llama, sheep

    • HardCore

      My guess, its a Giant Ovarian Cyst, they can get huge, the biggest one Ive seen was 46 lbs

      • dashete

        No one google 'World's largest tumour'… trust me!

        • NathanF

          i was just about to google that. thanks for the heads up….

  • tralfaz

    #4 Candy gram

    • Travis


    • ReallySeriously

      ….Unicef…..Land shark

    • Gredd

      Hi I'm a Walligator!

  • Hector

    #1 Racist. Where's Sisko?
    Always forgetting about the brother. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • Seldi84

      I thought Sisko was only a commander on DS9.

      • DeRaNgEd

        he later became captain of ds9

    • DeRaNgEd

      He didn't pilot a starship it was a space station…

      • ROK247

        thats no moon…

      • Ben Muirhead

        The Defiant… duhh

    • theRealRealist

      Sisko was a commander, not captain…..

      • DeRaNgEd

        yes he was a captain

        • 123

          but not of a starship

    • DeuceBrew

      I love the hover hand.

    • patov40

      Avery Brooks = too cool to show up to a Star Trek convention. B)

    • Joseph Moore

      What a hand hover.

    • vmx12

      No Archer either!

      • shuzzam

        He doesn't count.

        • JHL1


    • Hector

      I hate to admit that I know this, but Sisko became captain when the Federation gave him the Defiant.

      I can't believe we're arguing over this. lol

    • its_forge

      For the record, Brooks is looking even *more* badass than ever, if that were even possible at all.

  • Kodos

    #1 #13
    The Trekkie geeks takin' over this AM?

    BTW, they left out the black captain. Must still be racism in the 23rd century..

    • DeRaNgEd

      refer to the above comment

    • BAGoatGruff

      BTW, how the hell do you even know if he was there when the pic was taken? Jackass

      • The Pict

        And just to add a little more geek, there is another white captain that isn't included either.

        • altair

          just shut the hell up and laugh at the funny picture….

    • pyrosis

      Brooks wants nothing to do with the convention circuit. In the last couple of seasons of DS9, he made it loud and clear he hated the role and the show couldn't end fast enough.

  • Jen

    #11 – sausage fest in the hood

    • doh


    • OWIj

      Chive get together in the hood?

  • Ryan

    WTF is #27 ?

    • tralfaz

      It's not a tumor.

    • patov40

      Troll brain? xD

      • Red

        …really?….that's the best you could do? imply that trolls have abnormally LARGE brains?

    • Jacob

      Its not lupus. Its never lupus.

  • wkdfrog

    #29 you can't make this shit up!

    • rockbeefchest

      Actually Seanbaby at Cracked did indeed make this shit up.

    • Dan


  • dashete

    #18 Four possibilities? Who motorboats one at a time?

    • GreyGhost9

      #18 i just saw four flotation devices

    • Atheist

      well, I can try ….

    • Vlad

      there are two actual boats in the picture….maybe those are the other 2

      • JHL1


      • Franklin

        Ha ha. I didn't even notice the boats. I couldn't get past the lovely mammaries.

  • aaron

    #22 the hate has gone too far

    • Brutal Deluxe

      Sex in the City was unforgiveable. And so is her lack of a paper bag.

      • The Pict

        Better to use a plastic bag instead. Not renewable for the initial resource but far less costly to recycle. And then there's that other advantage.

        • Brother M.

          someone should give one to Dylan too.

      • its_forge

        And her continuing insistence on thinking she can star in romantic comedies and get away with it. She needs to do sci-fi pursuit thrillers or something 'cuz romcoms just aren't cutting it for anyone anymore.

    • denleendeko

      On the contrary! The hate needs to go even further

  • growabrain

    #11 Your regular Chivette.

    • ROR

      I think the majority of Chivettes have more sense than that…

      • Jack_LeMac

        More sense than what? She's just showing off her new pants

  • fact

    #22 Dylan`s too.

  • B_H

    #21 bad shop job on door frame molding. Would like to see original pic!

    • DeRaNgEd

      and the mattress

      • THIS IS MADNESS!!!

        Well mattresses warp sometimes, mine has, but the door frame is undeniable. Good eyes.

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