Geek loses job, decides to change his life (11 Photos)

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After LJ lost his job he became destitute. Until one day an old University chum found him hungry and 'way too thin.' The friend got him some food, loaned LJ his Alfa Romeo for a year, and gave LJ some advice which seemed strange at the time, "You're already highly educated. Now put on mass."

So he did.

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  • Stafferty

    Isn't this supposed to be on TheBerry?

    • Dood

      Stafferty currently at +858. Gotta be High Score or something.

    • helpermonkey

      More like TheFruity. What's with the "Don't Ask…Don't Tell" post?

      • Bluto

        "Now put on mass. And you will have a career in gay porn before you know it."

    • Daaaaaaamn

      what sound advice…

      "You're already highly educated. Now put on mass."

      I lol'd…

      • float

        #8 hahahahaha, several of these poses are from Zoolander…This may be the single gayest looking guy I've ever seen.

        • equalizermax

          But not as gay as Justin Bieber

          • Jason Ciotti

            or Twilight

            • Tre Zouvle

              GET SOME NEW JOKES!!

          • Bucky Jones

            Say what you want but I wish I was banging Selena Gomez

            • strikamos

              And Selena wishes Bieber would bang her!

              • its_forge

                You didn't see the two of them on the beach during their "romantic Mexican retreat?" No young woman lets a young man touch her like that unless their hoohoos are intimately familiar with each other.

                • 123

                  Just say it like a man!! they are having hot dirty sex where he puts his man vagina into her vagina..

            • MAX_POW

              The whole post has thumbs up but your comment…..take that in consideration

              • its_forge

                Keep in mind Bucky might also be an 18 year old boy.

            • Short Bus All Stars

              alright peter pederass, just calm down…

      • Jesse

        Mac from always sunny is currently following the same advice…seems legit.

    • DrLep

      agreed… why is this even on here?

      • chivereposts

        because they can and someone at chive likes boys..

        kinda like the small breasted women they do in the offices that slip into FLBP , as well as the quasi ugly horse faced man ducklipped trannys they try to flog at us sometimes.

        • chivereposts

          or in Dylan's case, all the time.

    • Randall Gallegos

      i think this is a new twist on the "inspirational" posts. while most people only see a shirtless dude, there is a story there of not giving up.

      • Short Bus All Stars

        oops, we found his man friend up here ^^^

      • chivereposts

        Bery is that a way Mr gaylegos..

      • George

        You call that "inspirational"? Loose your job and become a stripper is inspiring? I guess all those 23 year old drugged out ladies shaking their tits for $1 are inspirational.

        • *Y(*H

          the Chivettes?

    • equalizermax

      What bothers me is John posted it

    • Banana hammock

      I KNOW, WTF? Let me down on this one chive… But good on him anyways, I can't imagine the ass he gets! (hopefully girl puss)

    • Rick

      id give u 2 thumbs up but chive limits us to one.

    • The Chivery

      Obviously you don't know The Chive and it's members…

      Chive on!

    • Phil

      Congrats dude, over 1000 thumbs up.

  • craig b from ct

    why is this on the chive? shouldnt this be on the berry?

    • SanDiego

      APRIL FOOLS BIT….oh wait

    • Daaaaaaamn

      #8 could be the cover of "Chive Berry Crunch" cereal

    • float

      because they moved to california. people in california actually think this is cool, rest of world…NOPE

      • chive is the best!

        it's chuck testa

    • horse shit

      what in the fucking fuck is this shit? so a geek lost a job and found a gym membership? I don't fucking understand John. how in the fuck did he pay for the gym membership and all the food without a job? did he sell the alfa to pay for food? WHY THE FUCK WOULD ANY OF US GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THIS!? you fail, you lose, you get nothing!

      • Daaaaaaamn

        and gave LJ some advice which seemed strange at the time, "You're already have a mouth. Now put it to use and go blow some dudes for cash."

        • JDB

          Grammar Nazi disapproves.

    • itsobvious

      Coz John is gay.

      • chivereposts

        yep someones coming out of the closet..

  • Akon


    • Lauren Williams

      Yeah, his lips and nose aren't the same.

    • mali_sapun

      they're just preparing us for the new intern, i guess

  • barryshaft

    what the F&&&*

    • KhmerStory

      Haha these comments are hilarious!

  • dave

    Berry gay.

  • Alyssa

    i'm so confused – what does this even mean?

    • Foreverwaiting

      No one knows what it means. But its provocative!

      • Alyssa

        this dude in the pictures looked way better as a nerd. now he looks like rainbow penis pie

        • J_Dub

          ^ LMAO!!! funniest comment so far

        • listenlady

          HAHAHAHAA!! That actually made me snort/laugh really loud. Now everyone is looking at me. Thanks.

          • DrROBOTO

            it means john is pranking us

            • Tre Zouvle

              or(knowing him) more likely being honest with us, and himself.

        • Nathanial Hörnblowér

          best comment ever !!

      • Kenai

        That lyric JUST played in the song.

    • Huddo

      If you're confused, it potentially means that you're gay.

      Ah crap. Just realised Alyssa is a chick's name. Shucks. Joke FAIL.

  • zman

    I just threw up in my mouth

    • patov40

      I want him in my mouth.

  • evomorales

    this is highly stupid

    • zing

      Most of the chivers are secretly fapping to this.

    • Lotus

      The Chive staff's lame-ass attempt at trolling. To the surprise of no one the post is incredibly unfunny. You think these guys would be a little internet savvy by now…

  • Yessirr

    I'm lost, here guys. Seriously.

    • Djeezzus

      You might want to rephrase that….
      Cuz this guy's gonna find his way to your room…..

  • Joe

    Does this mean I have to go to The Berry for FLBP's now?

    • JDB

      Yeah guys with huge nuts. You go check it out.

  • LIJay

    Gayer than a dick salad.

    • adamcoasttocoast


    • SweetAwesomeness

      a dick salad with cock dressing!!!!!

    • Guse

      LIJay: I'm stealing this. I just wanted you to know that.

    • The Chivster

      it was worth the post to learn the term dick salad!

    • The Annoyed Elephant


    • Dick Salad

      I resent your statement

    • JDB

      Agreed, that statement almost makes it worth it.

    • ss396maxx

      Okay LIJay I'm one of the many that will be stealing this. Your comment was the only good thing about this post. Well done!

    • da2conan

      Yet still less gay than twilight…

      • MOWi438

        still less gay than The Chive. where it was posted.

    • Kyle

      Gayer than spunk on a mustache.

    • Lily

      And yet he still gets more girls than you do…

      • Average Chiver

        we're Chivers. a men's restroom gets more girls than we do combined…….

  • tom hanks

    this does not make sense

  • MatadorPride

    WTF? EW? Was the CHIVE hacked?

    • DudeBro

      I think we just got trolled.

  • disturbed

    WTF? Tell me why I care? Berry this. Or bury it. Either one.

  • Chris

    i have the weirdest boner right now

    • qwert

      i think it moved!!

      • that one guy

        if this is a real story, it's freakin awesome. I'm sure if I was insecure with myself I'd hate it just as much as all these haters.

  • Frylock.

    ummm, Chive? you okay buddy? you need a sooooda?

    • itsclear

      This is John trying to come out of the closet.

    • Chesty Laroo

      f&&k it I tried. freezin' my nips off out here…

  • chrisdg74

    Still not as gay as Twilight.

    • yehout

      I'm taking Twilight in all it's sparkly glory over #10 any day…

    • LC

      i searched for the word "twilight" to see if someone had written this before i could. well played, sir.

    • JWIk203

      congratulations on being roughly the 6th person to type that exact same comment. you win offical Chive status of "Unoriginal staff-smoker".

  • Holy Hell

    How is going from geek to douche better ?

    • Lev

      It's not. I, for one, hang out with poor nerds and couldn't be happier.
      The message here is to abandon intelluectual application, use steroids, buy fancy things, and obsess over your physical image then all will be well.

  • Tim Brown

    What the fuck just happened? Where the hell am I?

    • iwillgtblockd

      John`s secret dreamland.

  • DaBears

    "Until one day an old University chum him hungry and 'way too thin.'"

    This sentence doesn't make sense and besides that, this is fucking gay.

    • DudeBro

      The entire fucking paragraph doesn't make sense, and then it turns gay.

  • techno_viking

    You owe us an FLBP for this crap…

    • DaBears

      Yes! On a Tuesday!

    • Verbal_Kint

      Yeah, a double dose…

      • UIWJ943j

        let me guess, you just want to be left alone with this post so you can fap in peace, right? fag.

    • D Webb

      No, this requires the non-stop return of 'MILF Sunday'.

  • marc

    LOL…Wtf is this ?

    • guest visitor

      All the homos here pretending to be straight is damn funny.

  • Anjin-San

    The only good thing in this post is the Alfa Romeo Mito

    • chivereposts

      theres a good thing and you actually studied man pictures to find a detail like that?

    • Trollatc

      But, what did he have to do to get an Alfa Romeo for a year?

  • DaBears

    Epic Fail, Chive.

  • Kris

    the fuck guys?

    • Ziplab

      no kidding

    • Lev

      You accidentally a "t", "s", and a question mark there.
      He fucks guys.

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