You deserve a low down dirty good time (35 Photos)

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  • yayay

    yyayayay

    • OKM

      Get a life.

  • smurf

    #34 smurf blew his load

    • Jimmy

      Ladies Love Poppa Smurf

    • Restimated

      caution after affects maybe blue balls

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=587208531 Benton McGrath

        blue titty balls

    • Ambush Steve

      Wondering what the hotel room looked like when she and the photographer left it the next morning.

      • Steven

        looks like she is in a pool

    • Logic4u

      who's your papa?

    • the elusive

      This would be the result of Sploogy Smurf

    • Dolfan0925

      MOAR please. Preferably more topless covered in goo.

      • BlogNinja

        Pattycakeonline.com or Sexypattycake.com NSFW

  • xXbeermonkeyXx

    #21 i wanna play with that controller!
    #34 somehow im not feeling blue about this girl

    • Lowrent75

      Up, down, up, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, B, A start.

      • DeuceBrew

        The Code FAIL. Up up down down, not up down up down. Disappointed no one else has corrected this.

        • Lowrent75

          Touche, my friend.

    • Capt. Obvious

      amen gotta love sluts

    • Daaaaaaamn

      real gamers don't play wii, bitch is a fake, I'd still hit it though

      • xXbeermonkeyXx

        you know how i know you are a virgin?

    • JHarris

      You gotta know how to turn it on first.

  • Buttman

    #21 I'd love to play with those buttons…

    • facepalm

      You get the Originality award.

      • CuriousGeorge

        I'd save my game for her.

        or

        Being a carpenter, I name my dick Level. When meeting her, I would say "Level up!"

        How about,

        I've got the right rumble pack to go with that controller.

  • tommybhoy

    #17 Haha awesome!

  • Sal

    #25 My go to move

    • coulditbe

      I thought sex was required for that move to even be needed and you clearly don't get laid purely based on the comment you left

    • joe

      No guy wants a loose goose.

  • Shorthairlover

    #23
    She's hot.
    Him? Not so hot.

    • waryee

      i think ur missing the point…
      P.S. Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris can swim through land.

      • USMC8654Justice

        Chuck Norris doesnt consider it sex if the woman survives.

        • Sarex

          To end the world war 2, the Americans had two options, to bomb Japan with nucks or send Chuck Norris. They chose the humanitarian option.

          • fibonacci5150

            ohhhhhhhhh I get it, they had chuck drop Canucks

          • Jen

            may be the worst Chuck joke ever

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000018963941 Tim Brown

        Chuck Norris found M.C. Hammer, and touched him.

      • Chuck Norris

        Chuck Norris' sperm count is so high, women have to chew before they swallow.

    • paulhitchcock

      When Chuck Norris has sex, he's always on top. Chuck Norris doesn't fuck up.

    • J.D.

      chuck norris lost his virginity before his dad

    • Buford_Justice

      Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

    • http://www.facebook.com/ranDgallegos Randall Gallegos

      at night, the boogeyman checks his closet for chuck norris

    • AnthonySyl

      Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter

      • USMC8654Justice

        Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin he built with his bare hands.

  • Dude

    #34 Smurfy!

    • duhhhh

      Obvious joke is obvious.

    • Rested

      After affects of having sex with an alien from avatar

      • The_Dood

        Better than the smurf comments that come up every time this is posted…

    • Blumpkin

      Tittays!

    • http://twitter.com/jaczor @jaczor

      I'd smurf the smurf out of her.

      • its_forge

        I'd smurf her smurf until her smurf got all smurfy

      • its_forge 109p

        P.S. I'm gay. Wanna shove your throbbing 3 inch cock up my asshole?

  • mooseknuckle907

    #5 I still see it when I close my eyes

    • Headfade

      Anna Paquin without eyebrows is possibly the scariest thing I've ever seen.

      • http://echogeo.wordpress.com/ echogeo

        Anna needs an orthodontist. She could eat an apple through a picket fence.

  • Seldi84

    #21
    Dear Chive,

    More of her please

    Signed
    Loyal Chiver

    • getalife

      Desperate Stalker.

  • Huge

    #24 is tired guys…

    • SoupGuy

      Wow. Anthony Kiedis really let himself go.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=654840083 Mike

    #33 waaaaaaiiiiit fooor it……waaaiit for it.

    • Broseph Stalin

      Top, second from the left. BOOM

    • theRealRealist

      vergiiina!

  • Dangermouse
    • Eric

      newb….this is what your trying to do
      #32

      • Ambush Steve

        No need to go all nasty. Rather than calling the newb a newb, just instruct him on how to add the picture properly.

        Mouse. Just type the pound sign and then the number of the photo you're trying to add to your comment, then a space and voila.

        • black27696

          "Lurve". According to south park, that's basically a madea reference. If so, fuck him.

        • its_forge

          AND DON'T PUT A FUCKING SPACE AFTER THE POUND SIGN!!! lawl

  • Huge

    #28 Portland facking Oregon

    • n word jim

      traffic laws are way too mainstream nowadays

    • Buford_Justice

      and Madison Wisconsin

    • Umptyschrunch

      Why all the hatred towards cyclists?

      • George

        There has been a lot of bike hate on the Chive today. As for why cyclists roll through stop signs: we have a good 20 seconds to look for oncoming traffic while approaching the intersection. Now when a cyclist blows a stop sign and cuts other people off, I can understand the hate.

        • gimletmike

          The law says stop. End of argument. You are still breaking the law.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1237344300 Charles Quinn

      I live in Portland and this is exactly what I thought of. I'm sixteen, it's hard to learn to drive with bikes flying around.

    • Dumaitis

      On the plus side, bikes are technically vehicles in Oregon. So when you hit some dumbass on a bike who blew through a stop sign, they get a ticket for disobeying a traffic control device and a bill for the dent they left in your hood delivered straight to their hospital bed.

    • http://www.facebook.com/davidopel88 David Opel

      U-District Seattle

  • http://www.facebook.com/mark.mulligan1 Mark Mulligan
  • Huge

    #26 The one in the middle please 🙂

    • good taste

      She has the skinniest ass. The one on the extreme right please.

      • Mike

        Yes. The one on the right sir.

        • The_Dood

          I'll take all three really. No need to be picky.

      • http://www.thechive.com GreyGhost9

        Agreed, i love to see ass in that kind of bikini

      • its_forge

        Once in a while a skinny butt is nice.

    • Radam3

      Yup, far right please!!! and, FIND HER!!!

    • Nevenem

      i say right is the right one

    • laurennsfw

      far right has given me an instant girl for girl boner, but i'd play with them all.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=587208531 Benton McGrath

    #2 Not in that car.

    • Ambush Steve

      I always thought the proper way to say it was Vagatarian.

    • hMMMM

      bet it's a hippie chick magnet, so wouldn't be surprised.

      • 1 word comment

        Doubtful

    • its_forge

      If you've got a big dick, you don't need a Corvette.

  • BIll57

    #30 #31 see mother nature does have a sense of humor

  • Horseface

    #5 – I never thought I'd ever have to say that Barack Obama looks better than Mila Kunis, Selena Gomez, etc……but he's the only one there that doesn't look like a freak without his eyebrows.

    • ZachBob

      No, Whoopi Goldberg is the only one that doesn't look like a freak without eyebrows. she just wasn't in that little set of abominations in #5.

      • Zi Fi

        David Bowie pulled the look off better than anyone.

  • Horseface

    #33 – Who the hell still jerks off to pictures? Maybe back in the day when the best we had was 56k modems and it took like an hour to load a 30 second video clip.

    • Jeffster

      emergency fap file when internet is down perhaps

    • Sarge

      your mom doesn't post videos to Facebook

    • HUH?

      when did we start needing a reason? all i need is an imagination.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=644649048 Diego Colafabio

    #33 ROTFL

    • kindlin

      Incorrect.

  • BIll57

    #2 a cunniligus expert

    • Ambush Steve

      or a cunning linguist.

  • http://www.indodreamin.com Avi

    #13 creeeeepyyy

    • fibonacci5150

      The Suburbs Have Eyes 3

      • ooohk

        Looks like Frank Ribery

        • LoTekGuru

          I was thinking Patton Oswalt

  • ThornyDevil

    #14

    Trying not to poke them with boner….

    • Headfade

      That face is the face of pure happiness!

    • oldguy

      I rove rorring over girrs.

    • Guestimations

      He's probably stuck there because of that very issue

    • Mr Slippy Fist

      I think he had to do that to win money

      • hMMMM

        where is this magical place, where you can do this for money????

    • Ghengis Khan

      the man's chinese, i doubt he's worried about that

    • Frankee

      Link?

    • dirtysteve99

      Massive heart attack in 3..2..1…

  • Iam_Dave

    #26
    Turn around so I can go motor-boating too!!

    • Master_Rahl

      this is such a smorgasbord of bootays, you could 'boat it from the back as well. I would 😀

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