Daily Morning Awesomeness (20 Photos)

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  • bngn3000

    #6 don't we all

    • The Chivery

      For us Chivers, the 3rd is more likely to happen than the 1st.

      Chive on!

      • The Chivery

        anyone ever wake up and think, "wow, last night just wasn't satisfactory. his penis was just a little undersized and i'm not sore like i want to be this morning." Anyone? And if so, are there any real manly men on this site who can come over and just give it to me, PLEASE???

        chive on!

        • The Chivery

          You're wasting your time. I already tried, and most Chivers' penises are like a needle in a traffic tunnel.

          Chive on!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=587208531 Benton McGrath

    #25 Worth it.

    • Nefarious

      idk man, he looks old enough to be her dad… but i cant really tell…

      • CNG

        Fuck up idiot, he looks like hes about the same age as her,

      • jasonlee

        Doesn't matter. Touched boobs. Younger ones. Bonus points.

    • jon

      still counts

    • chiveasaurus

      Has anybody on the chive Actually had sex before? because no that doesn't look worth it go out meet a girl have sex with her that's worth it.. groping a boob of a girl who clearly think's your an asshole is a fail.

      • http://www.facebook.com/rabiskullmaster Dave Angle

        Oh relax!!!!! He obviously knows her, god it's probably his wife.
        I think you need to have some sex, or better yet, need to have your boobs groped!
        Chiveasaurus is to theChive as the cockblock is to men.

        • ah ha

          Doesn't matter touched boobs

          • dungydouche

            It really felt good when I did it with my penis.

            • derp

              She let me wear my chain and my turtleneck sweater.

      • 03_SE_XTERRA

        you are worthless chiveasaurus

        • Brother M.

          no, he's right. you all do carry on like a bunch of teenagers who have never touched a tit before.

          • THIS IS MADNESS!!!

            Troll opinions don't count.

            • Brother M.

              tell that to the 35 people that thumbed chiveasaurus and i up. that's what i thought.

            • Stan_Dalone

              that's why we should ignore them

    • (_*_)

      she smiles right before it happens – i'm thinking it was staged

      • ...

        looks like she was having a pleasant chat before. stop being such a skeptic. aren't all jews on holiday today anyway?

    • KyleGamgee

      I swear I've seen this before and… she broke his nose with the chair. Am I remembering this correctly?

    • regen

      Yeah nice sexual assault… Am I really the only person in the world left who thinks this kind of stuff is wrong and inappropriate?

      • ???

        Go be a dike somewhere else…

      • Chris Brown

        Yes

      • The Chivery

        No. It's just that the only time us Chivers can hope to touch a tit is when we when we sneak up on her.

        Chive on!

      • chapstick

        If it was actually sexual assault it's wrong, but it clearly looks staged.

  • Shayne

    I can buy the T-shirts can anyone else?

    • bngn3000

      Thanks a million. I was planning on camping theChivery out at 9 AM and you saved me a lot of frenzied typing in hopes of getting lucky.

      • Patrick M.

        Midnight twitter pre-sale!

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=623886367 Michael Alen Pugh

        haha i did the same thing… i just got this feeling and clicked it… seen the shit was available like 6 hours early… you better believe i never put my info in so fast before. lol

    • Shayne

      BUY SHIRTS BUY SHIRTS BUY SHIRTS BUY SHIRTS BUY SHIRTS BUY SHIRTS BUY SHIRTS BUY SHIRTS BUY SHIRTS BUY SHIRTS BUY SHIRTS BUY SHIRTS BUY SHIRTS BUY SHIRTS BUY SHIRTS BUY SHIRTS BUY SHIRTS BUY SHIRTS BUY SHIRTS BUY SHIRTS BUY SHIRTS BUY SHIRTS BUY SHIRTS BUY SHIRTS BUY SHIRTS BUY SHIRTS BUY SHIRTS BUY SHIRTS BUY SHIRTS BUY SHIRTS

    • Luna icee

      lies…you cant get them

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=623886367 Michael Alen Pugh

        late dude…

    • art

      looks like that window closed

    • bubblerider86

      Ahhh…damn sleep! prevents me from doing anything productive 😦
      Now i shall never own a chive/chivette shirt 😦 *double sadness*

      • The Chivery

        i'll give you a chive t-shirt…..muahahahaha

        • Ron

          Still not available…
          T-shirt sale is a T-shirt FAIL.
          You did make us look though

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      Gawd Dammit, I'm offline all day and shirts come out again.
      Would totally buy one with the 'Paula resistant' logo.

      Hugs,
      Paula
      – the one you love to hate

  • Don't Shoot!

    #2 "But if only I were African!"

    • yyy

      u must be retarded

      • shaka

        or he just has a really good sense of humor! can't anyone take a joke anymore?? Fuck this PC movement!!!!

        • davyb123

          You sir, are a fucking douche.

        • DoomsDayDub

          It's not about PC, the joke was just not funny.

          • the other Jen

            african america, you idiot

            • herbie hancock

              where is this african america you speak of

              • dbolusaf

                atlanta

                • Compy86

                  woop

                  • K.C.

                    I think the fat little boy is crying just because he got the small piece.

            • the other Jen

              c'mon man, you're making us look bad.

            • dirtysteve99

              the other Jen, there are Africans outside of America too, shocking I know.

    • William

      Not cool.

    • Mightaswellshoot!

      People just don't enjoy racism humor anymore :/

    • To,

      I had this picture as my telephone background for half a year now. The combination of a fat kid, being chinese, crying BUT still not wanting to quit eating really made this one of the best pictures I have ever seen!

  • http://www.TheChive.com Drewcifer

    #9 is all WIN! o/

  • kng_nthn

    #4 woah
    #21 zombies can dance?!

    • squidface

      Of course zombies can dance, you've seen Thriller!!

    • houtini

      As in, "woah, that's fucking retarded!" ?

    • Johnny Two Toes

      I'm pretty sure it's a handicap class, kid on the left looks blind, same with back right.

      • The Chivery

        No, #21 is a photo from the last Chive get together.

        Chive on!

      • qwert

        … or extasy… yeah, that looks like extasty

        • pat

          yep, defiantly on e's. They're all smacking out.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001031716298 James Purdy

    #3 Wait a minute, why is the white guy in front of the black chick

    • OhOkayThen

      cause hes a man and shes a girl? are you new?

      • Stan_Dalone

        or did he insult her and she's chasing him to kick his ass

    • CuriousGeorge

      I really don't get what's so awesome about this one.

    • Merp

      The real question is, why isn't she in the kitchen?

    • hMMMM

      she's about to lap him. pictures are deceptive sometimes.

    • beardpapa

      she must not be from kenya

    • dude

      wait so this comment is acceptable but the watermelon one isn't?

  • http://www.facebook.com/richard.c.rice Richard Rice

    #6

    Your priorities are correct youngster

  • DzK0

    #18 CAAANNN YOU FEEEEELLLLLL THE LOVVVVVVEEEE TO-NIIGHHHHTTTTT

    • DzK0

      #20 Nailed it

      • Petey

        RVD's neck muscles are strong enough to bounce that high using his head

    • Dr_StrangePants

      I dunno Dzk0,
      ….it takes a lot of love to hang upside down, hold on th your partners calves, and have your face shot up into his crotch

      • An Average Chiver

        i don't know, it's pretty common for me.

  • mooseknuckle907

    #12
    Twice daily, Xian Yu patrols the streets with his gang.

    • Owen Smithers

      Ping better get his ass back in line!

  • Inbredstick.

    #25 last time he'll make a move on his sister

    • Inbredstick.

      ^ same guy that made the racist watermelon joke. redeeming!

  • maclean

    #6 well raised kid

    • OhOkayThen

      planning the dream

    • Stan_Dalone

      was this Dr. Evil when he was a kid?

      • An Average Chiver

        you're really starting to push it. where the fuck did you come from anyway?

        • Stan_Dalone

          oooooooooooo A threat wow um shakin

      • The Truth

        shut the fuck up, you unfunny troll.

        • Stan_Dalone

          you are anything but the truth

  • triot

    #13 a chiver's constant dilemma

    • OhOkayThen

      project much?

      • MacNCheesePro

        Then, says yes to some guy that's an asshole. He treats her like crap, cheats on her and when they break up, she wants the nice guy that she turned down, which is you and you found someone else already and you're all like "this ship has sailed, sister!" *SNAPS FINGERS AND MOVES NECK SIDE TO SIDE*

        • dirtysteve99

          yeeeeeah, that never happens. Nice guy goes home and faps/cries/faps more like it.

    • psydude

      and then after you ask her like 7 times, each time with a different excuse yet still flirting with you like crazy, and then suddenly she says:"oh I thought you only want to be friends" WTF??

    • ThatGuy

      This is only a problem if you're an idiot. Don't 'ask a girl out' until you've made her want you. Do this by being confident, in shape and teasing her. Then when you ask her out she practically leap onto your cock.

      Anything else and you're just a creeper.

      • Ha.Ha.

        CS, B

  • Youwerethinkinit.

    Mens' room should have #16 and #25 should pop out!

  • http://www.facebook.com/richard.c.rice Richard Rice

    #25

    cool story bro

    • Scotty

      Not really the right image for that comment..

    • black27696

      That makes about as much sense as going
      #2
      Mind the gap!

  • Jason Dean

    #9 – Thank god they know the proper usage of YOU'RE versus YOUR – Take a tip, Internet.

    • OhOkayThen

      YES SWEET MARY OF CHRIST

      that was a close one

    • Boyardee

      Is it really that annoying to nerds to have a spelling mistake?

      • MonkeyMadness

        Apparently it's not annoying to morons because ignorance is bliss.

      • jasonlee

        you mean being able to spell is mutually exclusive to nerds? call me a nerd then.
        I'll call you an idiot. Oh, 'scuz me… idiut.

        • 03_SE_XTERRA

          grammar nazi is grammarriffic

    • Idiots

      They still forgot the apostrophe.

    • Dr. Grammar, Ph.D.

      When you're using "God" like you did, you should be capitalizing the "G" b/c you're referring specifically to God, and not all gods. Secondly, after a hyphen, you do NOT need to capitalize.

      You are not in my league, home-E.

      • dirtysteve99

        no one want to be in your league.

  • The Bandit

    #6 …well made plan! It's that simple….should have thought about that myself!
    #9…true words!

  • Jason Dean

    #22 – The Key to a successful marriage.

    • Paula's #1 Fan

      And the key to a sucessful chive is ripping posts from Reddit.

      • Eh.

        Please provide link

    • RamRod

      Are they watching soccer?! Fuck that shit!

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000681927439 Kyle Shubert

        Only one of the most popular sports in the world.

      • Frank

        They're Asian. They don't know any better.

  • dashete

    #24 Needs to be photoshopped

    • houtini

      captioned, rather.

    • Pwndu

      Got that bitch a swordfish. Bitches love swordfish.

      • dirtysteve99

        too easy

    • http://www.facebook.com/gcortez99 Gilbert Cortez

      That MoFo is a "G"!!!!! Chive On Mother Fu**er!

  • Jason Dean

    #17 – Like a boss.

    • Ha.Ha.

      he's rowing, asshole. bosses don't row. and stop posting multiple times on the first page just to post.

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/ADHDavenger13?feature=mhsn Firefighter23

      You call that a cardboard boat? That was Physics project in my senior year, kid. We never even took on water. FRANK LLOYD WRIGHT!!

  • Hellequin_Bull

    #21, Stay off drugs kids…

    • mike

      this is what the house parties look like for the communities that are built under power lines

    • Kris

      Or stop trying to act black.

    • LeonardoB

      Mashed

  • MrAliasMan

    #8 Is it wrong that what I saw is a priest and a chior boy in this picture

    • Dr. Phil

      are you the little choir boy? It's ok man, let it out.

      • jasonlee

        I was thinkin' he was the priest…

        • IsEveryoneAsian

          I was thinkin he was asian

    • dirtysteve99

      given that the lower mannequin appears to be female, yes it is wrong, and I have VERY bad news to tell your father.

  • FolleRousse

    #16 I wonder if it can change them into other animals too. like maybe an elephant or a penguin

    • hMMMM

      are you talking transmogrophier???? Calvin and Hobbes, anyone??? How come that's never come up in the trip down memory lane posts? Was certainly a BIG part of my childhood…

  • kyle

    #25 if that's spencer pratt she should have knifed him.

    • Lobbin

      i think you have a crush on spencer…

  • Iam_Dave

    #22 I can see that happening for real. lol

    • frankysins

      except take soccer of the TV and put on football

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000681927439 Kyle Shubert

        It IS football.

        • frankysins

          its futbol lol

      • Kayoie

        "soccer" is football, you stupid American fuck.

        • frankysins

          no you stupid non american fuck. soccer is soccer. football is football. not everything in the world is how it is where you live. go kill youself

        • Stan_Dalone

          you are wrong soccor is FUTBOL american's play FOOTBALL stupid fuck

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