Daily Afternoon Randomness (49 Photos)

bbbb Daily Afternoon Randomness (49 Photos)

A new season of Nick Swardson’s Pretend Time starts Wed. 10:30/9:30c. Check out Nick’s hilarious story about being mauled by his mom’s cat in the video below:

More Pretend Time lol’s here.

  • igor

    #13 !!!

    • This guy

      Irish Flow from Reddit GW.

      • AEnle


        • IrishFlowFan

          http://www.reddit.com/r/gonewild – look for irishflow

          • THIS IS MADNESS!!!

            of course it was on Reddit first. chive sucks.

            • 9803


              • Growl

                Then why are you here?

                • TOi83u

                  mind your damn business, that's why.

      • Thieves!

        Wow chive, even photoshopped the hash out on her pic, huh? Stay classy my friends

      • rodmangold

        Irish Flow = Dylan?? Seems like her posts have been shared between here and reddit.

        • Horseface

          If that's Dylan….then it looks like she finally learned to cover that face. Kudos.

          • Credulator

            agreed. thank god for that.

        • Ima Dick

          Doubtful, Irish has said she's in her mid 30's and Dylan looks late 20's at best. Possible though, Irish has definitely defied age with her body so maybe her face has as well.

          • http://gravatar.com/lagentile LG_

            Same gal, and Dylan has stated that she's 32 which is amazing, especially considering that she has a child. Don't know how I found this but here's the link: http://www.reddit.com/r/gonewild/comments/jjuph/w

            • Credulator

              "amazing"? how? she looks her age(that, and women usually don't show significant signs of aging often until their 50s)……

              • http://gravatar.com/lagentile LG_

                Amazing because she seems to have bounced back 100% after having a child, which supposedly is a difficult thing for women to do. Not talking about looking her age here – just talking about how she doesn't have a FUPA despite having a child, which many women say is difficult.

                • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=606371253 Shannon Coverdale

                  Dylan is smoking hot. I don't know why everyone hates on her.

                  • Ha.Ha.

                    I'm sure when i'm 67 and haven't been laid in a decade, i'd think she was hot too. shit, at your age, i'd think 3 out of 4 women walking on the street is hot.

                    • TRON


    • Hi Jack

      I find your meatloaf rather shallow and pedantic

      • Juzie zoo

        i find you're a faggot.

    • FACE

      # LISTEN HERE WHO EVERS GOT A PROBLEM GO FUK YOURSELF CUS IVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS WAITIN AROUND BRING ME A GIRT now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😀

    • Average Chiver

      don't worry #11, you can pee in my mouth.

      • amrith777


        • Average Chiver

          great idea. we can all pee in each other's mouths.

    • FACE!

      deviantart has got even more

  • ayjay

    #22, best costume ever.

    • Master_Rahl

      this kid will get all the candy! awesome!

    • Kayrenoi

      #16 couple of faggots.

      • Jeffster

        hmm strange I don't see any vegetables in this picture all I seen is winning sometimes actor charlie sheen and tim burtons first choice Depp

  • http://gravatar.com/lagentile LG_

    #33 Very nice to see a Carlin quote on the Chive. Makes any day all the more awesome. 🙂

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      Hi dear ❤

      Wanna cybersex? I'll start.

      * you take of your blouse and…. I come. Again. DAMN!

      – the one you love to hate

      • marc

        I want to jizz on your hair !

      • http://gravatar.com/lagentile LG_

        You are quick, Paula. In many more ways than one, apparently. lol

        • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

          Yo, you mind washing these pants? Thanks dear ❤

          – the one you love to hate

      • someguy

        I wouldn’t piss on you, even if you were on fire.

    • Pedobear

      who's that guy?

      • http://gravatar.com/lagentile LG_

        That would be the late and great George Carlin. I don't think that man ever had one bad comedy show – definitely check out his stuff about airplanes and feminists if you want a nice intro to his stuff!

        • Lowrent75

          LG…Your Gators are coming to Death Valley. Geaux Tigers!!

          • http://gravatar.com/lagentile LG_

            You mean that the Tigers are about to be Gator Bait?! Will you be attending btw? That game is going to be intense, no matter the outcome!

            • Lowrent75

              Not likely since you are down a starting QB. It will be intense no doubt but I think we will wear you down. And alas, I will not be there. Why in the heck does everyone want to play during the day? Hopefully I can watch it from the beach with the fam. 'To the Victor go the Spoils' Geaux Tigers!!

        • great chiver

          Oh stfu and get naked for us.

      • 4Chan Admin

        George Carlin is was a prophetic comedian whose original and powerful insights about his country and about humanity made him a hero in the eyes of angsty 13-year-old boys, raging atheists, decrepit old hippies, and every other creature God ever created. Being a raging atheist himself, he liked to troll his audience by asking God to "strike them dead."
        One of his most famous acts, "Seven Dirty Words," cemented itself in American popular culture as a masterpiece, likely due to the fact that Americans have a very limited vocabulary, and clapped like retarded seals when Carlin said a no-no. Nonetheless, Carlin managed to piss off a lot intellectual elitist faggots by being a bigger intellectual elitist faggot, and that's all a guy could ever hope to accomplish.

        • frodo

          cool story bro…

    • boozecruz

      Very nice to see LG on the Chive. Makes any day all the more awesome. 🙂

      • CDN

        Any woman who takes as many pics of themselves as LG has serious self esteem issues. You constantly need to be validated by other people. Pitiful really.

        • Kioi

          100% agree.

    • sheoncebelieved

      His best line was….Ever seen anybody run full speed and take a shit…..then it happened by Raab Himself on CKY

    • Pants

      I want to kick god in the balls for taking this guy from us.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Fuck yeah… just what I needed… thanks Chive!! Love the DAR.

  • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

    Hi John!

    If you do this:
    <img src="http://i55.tinypic.com/e8mqua.jpg"&gt;
    I'm SO buying a XL Keep Calm shirt!

    So John, here's the pic you are looking for right meow: http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lfp2hoS7xu1qc9f5v….


    – the one you love to hate

    • Pedobear

      Shut up and suck my 3 inch cock bitch..

    • YesYes

      A thousand times yes

    • SkyVader

      Wow, even Paula is reposting these days.

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        Fuck it, it's the new recycling! And John missed the first time; was probably banging Chivettes. 3 of them. Again.

        – the one you love to hate

        • dbolusaf

          if u kissed ass ne harder u'de be knee deep…

    • Scotty

      Not sure if the image is something I want to click on

      or gay porn

    • cubicman

      Still loving You muah

    • Pecker

      Why hasn't Paula killed herself yet?

  • menace

    #2 must be getting married #20 yes…yes it does

    • amrith777

      My guess is he's participating in OWS

      • Guest

        Then he's a cunt and I hope he finds a tree.

  • Lord Troll...!


  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=27206114 Михаил Рикэттс


    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=27206114 Михаил Рикэттс

      dammit laggy net lol

      • MonkeyMadness

        uh, yeah, only slightly.

  • Mcfly707

    #42 Go ahead and try to hide it, I know you're peeing.

    • R2G Fan

      I'd like to be in her warm spot.

    • MonkeyMadness

      lol I was thinking the same thing!

      • Stan_Dalone

        I see areola

        • JHL1

          "She" is a transsexual.

  • p1babyarm

    #9 The emergency auto-erotic asphyxiation kit?

    • TJ0351

      Ahhh…that's it.

      Couldn't figure out the rope portion.

      • lol

        Pedobear approved!

        • ohfwi

          shut up.

    • The_Dood

      You wank to the Catcher in the Rye?

      • chefmaster

        It's for catching

    • d86

      Why the breath spray though?

      • Dr_StrangePants

        cause the alternative isn't anything someone would put in their mouth

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000486430436 Mo Swift Than Mimi

      # 5 Misc. = Jays

  • Do obey snacks

    Carlins best role was in jay and silent bob! Lol where's that quote

    • Master_Rahl

      something about taking one in "da mout" for a ride. crap, I can't find it either.

    • RamRod

      Buddy Christ mutha fucka!

    • cdbadger

      -What happens when they pull over and you don't make with the head? Don't they kick your ass to the curb?
      – Well sure… if you don't make with the head.
      -The lines are blurred these days….gay or straight. Look, if it gets me a couple miles down the road, I'll take a shot in the mouth.
      (best I got off the top of my head)

      • stinky cologne

        There's a line right there….and on this side of it, we ain't gay!

    • FACE!

      Bill and Teds excellent adventure.

  • Bryan

    Dar is early!!! Woo!!!e

  • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

    #12 Want!!! WANT!!!! NEEEEEEEEEED!!!!1!!

    – the one you love to hate

    • Stan_Dalone

      sent with 1,000 kittys

      • Freddy Mercury

        so, when are you gonna ask Paula to send you some of his used panties?

        • Stan_Dalone

          news Freddy she hates cats which is why I gave her a thousand, duh

          • Sleep_Salone

            Sure thing Bill57.

    • cubicman

      Love You :-*


    I love early DAR!!…and off course #5

    • Master_Rahl

      FTMFW – woooooooooo!

    • R2G Fan

      Incredible ass. Good show!

    • Stan_Dalone

      the GAP!

  • menace

    #21 should have studied something different then, dumb bitch, don't act like a victim, school's not for everybody

    • Mackin

      Why? Just because she spend $40k on her education and can't spell "field" or proofread what she wrote? I'm actually sympathetic to the general cause, but she's not helping herself with this pic.

    • GeoRocks

      They should refund her $40k because she can't even spell "field" correctly.

    • medtxpack

      she could go get a job and then pay off her debt whie looking for a job in her field. but yes she is 99% of lazy ass people that expect things to happen.

      • Hmmm

        Don't you need a job first to establish your "field"?

    • Steamboat Willie

      Reminds me of the old joke… What do you say to a person with a philosophy degree standing at your front door?

      "Thanks for the pizza, here's your tip."

    • Rascally

      THANK YOU!! I couldn't agree more. If you can't get a job in your "field", then you get a goddamn job doing something else. I fully support the Occupy Wall Street movement, but it's people like this that drive me nuts. I graduated with $120k in student loans, so what'd I do? I got two part time jobs and worked my ass off until I found a career path. Suck it up.

      • Joel

        Seriously! I hate these entitled little kids that keep thinking "Woe is me" when there are plenty of experienced people out there with no jobs whatsoever. I haven't been able to land a job in my field yet, but did I sit around and complain that college was a mistake? No. I've been working two jobs and even did an unpaid internship in something only minimally related in order to gain experience, and I'm still trying to get an internship in my desired field.

        And you know what else? I grew up poor and don't have my parents. I could easily play the victim as well but I choose not to. These kids need to learn how to man up.

        • Average Chiver

          cool story bro

        • Julia

          My degree has gotten me a load of debt without a job in my field- so I work shitty, meaningless jobs to make ends meet. And I am DEFINITELY complaining. There is a myth that education will improve your odds of landing better paying, more satisfying work and it's bullshit. So yes with crippling debt on my shoulders I will BITCH BITCH BITCH. My 40k down the drain allows this 😉

          I grew up poor as well and will now have to deal with more financial woes because of my education and because it is not recognized as anything specialized or important. Not bitter at all? Well, good for you.

          • Joel

            You must have majored in Philosophy.

          • Yoselahonda

            I just want to know why people study for a job in a field that in all likelyhood will not be available to them when they graduate? If an education is considered an investment, then studying for something you will not ever achieve is like opening a taco shop on a block that already has 5 others (I live in San Diego and know that, at least down here, that sometimes works but we're just crazy here). Seriously, it's a free market, look for the demand and fill it. Otherwise, you might as well be investing in a business the day after it announces its intent to disolve.

    • Gnole

      Seeing as no one is addressing your question. Sell drugs. I would recommend selling Ecstasy and/or MDMA. As for how you are going to claim this money's legitimacy….Maybe your field will help there.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=14830698 Frank Prill

      I have 100k in debt. This girl can go fuck herself.

    • Thunderlipps

      Hope her mouth works better than her brain

      • Anon

        You're a weird fuck aren't you? You look like you keep bodies in your basement.

        • 6655321

          Sure is. Made me call him Big Rudy the whole time.

    • Harry Carry

      internships, sweetheart. Internships are the key to your dream job

      • DelusionalStudent

        What you mean I can't just graduate and have an office space in a high rise building just telling people what to do all day? This isn't what I signed up for!

    • FrankDuke

      Probably a philosophy or arts major.

    • cam

      he spelled field wrong.

      • cam

        oops, she.

        • anon

          not incorrect

    • 6655321

      Or do something self-less and join the Military.

      • Dick Salad

        Joined the Marines straight out of high school in 2001 got out after 8 years and now I'm a defense contractor making way more than most college grads my age. I'd like to thank "colleges" everywhere for holding back my competition and not teaching them practical real world skills. My wife on the other hand graduated 3 years ago and started working immediately for the same school she graduated from. Now they are paying for her masters.

    • Yoselahonda

      I know how these messages are usually used to point out how the system is broken and we need to change everything, but I have a question: In a free market system where you have the freedom to choose just about anything to do with your time (education, career path), how is the system broken when you freely chose to study for a field that you cannot get a job in? If you didn't do your homework in terms of career prospects before entering a major or even deciding to spend thousands on college, then you might as well have bought a used car without a test drive.

      It's understandable if the crash of 2008 happened just before you graduated and once promising career paths dried up overnight, but anyone who still had a couple years before graduation had plenty of time to reevaluate the value of their education and the future prospects of their field of study.

    • James

      Maybe its because she can't spell "feild" lmao dumbass. field*

    • Anon
    • myawfulroommate

      I worked in student loans for a few years, first doing tech support for applications then dealing with shitheads who can't pay their loans. For every 1 reasonable person in a bad situation I got to help out I had to talk about 10 idiots that couldn't get a job after taking $40K in loans for an online school that they dropped out of.

    • onethirdjewman

      white people problems….

  • p1babyarm

    #30 I'd join her dark side faster than Han shot Greedo

    • Win_All_Day

      less than 12 parsecs. hehe 🙂

    • R2G Fan

      If there was underboob, it would have been perfect. Very sexy, regardless.

    • vaderone

      I want more……man… she's so f ' n hot

      • FACE!

        you want more man…dude thats pretty gay, does your mother know?

        • The Chivery

          She's knows he's a Chiver. So, yes.

          Chive on!

          • Bubba

            conclusion: FIND!!

          • The Chivery

            I looooooooooooove penis.

            Penis On!

            • The Chivery

              You're right, I do. I'm the epitome of a true Chiver.

              Chive on!

              • The Chivery

                why am i talking to myself?

                crazy on!

    • Dr_StrangePants

      I'd chew her bacca

      • Dr. Hfuhruhurr

        Well play Dr. Pants…

  • RatedR401

    #43 is great!

    • wells11490

      could not be more true.. middle of road but you cant get mad at me.. my flashers are telling you to suck it

      • CDN

        Hate to tell you but anyone that does this are douchebags.

    • Pete

      The only thing this picture is missing is the scumbag hat.

  • English Chiver

    #9 IS a good idea
    #19 #36 #42 #48 are just good.

  • p1babyarm

    #48 #49 So i got a new boner

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      Gooooood lord Erin…. wowsies….

      – the one you love to hate

    • R2G Fan

      I really do think I love you. Super sexy, thank you for sharing.

    • Admiral Ackbar

      Dayum! Ackbar approves.

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        Oh c'mon! "It's a gap!" Meow was that so hard?

        – the one you love to hate

      • kjh

        her bf is so ugly

    • Molteninjabob

      What's her reddit username?!

    • hassssss

      ew mouse faced bitch needs an ego stroke from the internet. get a job

      • 09ju4rt

        THANK YOU! i was wondering for the longest time what animal she reminded me of. so, Erin's a rodent, Dylan's a horse, and Lauren's a bird. get a few more and they could group together for a chinese new year themed photo-shoot. lulz.

        • Koopa Troop

          i think you mean "chinese zodiac". but i agree. funny as shit. LOL

        • Emily

          Every time I see her picture I think "oh it's bucky again"

    • stinky cologne

      (In best Al Pacino voice) She's gotta great sss!!!! (Now you're saying it in your head, don't lie.)

      • Guesty

        quote from Heat. Love it.

    • ABO

      On a side not, I feel stupider after reading her Twitter.

      • Ninjack

        On another side 'note', you are stupid.

        • 09jio0

          shut the fuck up, fanboy.

    • journeyman

      look at that light switch looks pre 1970, needs changing that does under regulation 413-112-100 of the 17th edition wiring regulations, quick or u'll never pass the periodic 10year inspection, i wont tell pheww !!!:D

    • bob

      erin erin erin….. get a life girl. go play outside

      • TOi83u


    • ovbiousss

      Whores gonna whore.

      • Red


  • snowbird

    #26 Not hot. why is she on monday dar?

    • Coolstory

      Not hot? Damn what kind of standards do you have, cuz I think she looks pretty good.

    • quintus

      Because her eyes are beautiful and her hair is pretty. Learn to appreciate more and your life will become much better my friend, I assure you that.

      • Jen

        same could be said about respecting other people's tastes and opinions.

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      Don't know if trolling or blind to natural beauty.

      – the one you love to hate

      • DaddyD

        Probably both.

    • Master_Rahl

      she's cute – got the freckles happenin. what's not to like?

    • MonkeyMadness

      Are you completely retarded or just incredibly stupid? She's 10 times hotter than anything you'll ever get to touch!

      • Seth Rogen

        wow. way to be a dick for no reason.

    • letterj

      Jocelin Donahue. Picture doesn't do her justice IMO. She's pretty hot in the Vitamin Water Zero commercial (the one with the frog).

      • Mr Factual

        Good god sir that is some impressive detective work!

    • J. McM

      Your standards are too damn high!!

    • anon

      You are an idiot. She is hot.

    • Stan_Dalone

      she's gorgeous

    • Justin

      You know how I know you're gay?

      • 9803

        you think his dick tastes like shit?


      Choke on it, bitch!

      #26's gorgeous!

  • Intensemasterdebater

    #41 First gay experience in 3…2….1…

    • Closet Dweller

      Shouldn't hurt too bad…uh, the accident that is

    • The Chivery

      aaaaand he officially becomes a Chiver!

      Chive on!

      • The Chivery

        gosh i wish that was me

    • HUH?

      thank you. when i saw the pic the first thing i thought was "surprise butt sex"

      • FACE!

        really, says a lot about whats on your mind, I was thinking shes probably going to get headbutted and the cameraman is laughing his ass off for not being as drunk as them

      • 9803

        wow. that makes you think of two men having ass-sex with each other? what a fag.

  • dman

    #21 I hate it when my feild runs our of jobs.

    • FACE!

      what the fuck is a feild

    • Urgas

      When your fail runs out of jobs you mean?

    • myawfulroommate

      obviously sell drugs, she's too ugly to make good money selling her body

    • alsodman

      Whores and drug dealers do not need to know how to spell "Feild"

  • Hammer_Pants

    I don't think "Nick Swardson" and "hilarious" should be in the same sentence unless they are connected by the word "isn't" or the phrase "has yet to be."

    • Kyle

      yea chive needs to get off this guys dick just because he stopped by…

    • MonkeyMadness

      He was hilarious in Grandma's Boy but that's about it. I haven't liked him in anything else.

    • http://www.allinbayarea.com TWON925

      he had a funny character on Reno 911 and has built a carrer off of that and yes Grandmas Boy was very funny but he didnt write any of that just read the lines. His Stand up is not funny at all it's all fart jokes reall haed to pull that off

      • Clemen

        exactly…. he had a few good jokes in his stand up but its usually dissapointing, although no where near as dissapointing as the first (and I assume every) episode of pretend time

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001739110856 Anthony Ramirez

      His stand-up is pretty funny. His tv show and that movie bucky larson were completely retarded though.

    • NaNaNaMatmaN

      #29 YEAH… fuk Nick, and look at this pic

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=669440656 Steve Shaw

      I thought he was pretty funny on Reno 911, but the previews for that Bucky Larsen movie were fucking retarded.

    • http://www.kneedeepinabottle.com Navin R. Johnson

      Exactly! this guy is completely unfunny! not as bad as Dane cook, but damn close

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=786440649 Chris Arabian

    #36 , love a pretty woman with a sense of humor!!!

    • Dan

      And then when you lift her shirt, she calls the cops.

      • Stan_Dalone

        it's a trap!

    • Not Again

      Someone didn't read the instructions before taking the photo!

    • obv

      She also needs boobs to wear that shirt

      • Koopa Troop

        just thinking the same thing.

      • Retort

        Just cause they are not bigger than your man-boobs.

        • TOi83u

          who shit in your cornflakes?

    • asdf

      the shirt is from voyeurweb, its a porn site which is all about exhibitionism. so if you look hard enough, i'm sure you can find this lady.

      • Steamboat Willie

        The collective knowledge of pornography that exists here never ceases to amaze me.

        • http://asfarastheeyecansee-embee.blogspot.com/ BoyFromWales

          And makes me proud to know that we as a community has such vast knowledge on pornography.

        • teh_shard

          It's the freaking voyeurweb. It's an internet institution. If you are a man who has looked for boobs on the internet any time in the last 15 years, chances are you have landed at the voyeurweb at least once.

          • dorkfish

            Thanks for the tip. I'll search there next

          • thisisme

            or more than once. I think I need a new hobby.

    • MonkeyMadness

      You are correct sir! But whoever took this picture clearly can't follow directions! FAIL

    • Linkage

      Looks like Jenna Fischer . . .

    • Hypno

      Do yourselves a Google search for "Motel69star". You're welcome. 😀

      • corekshun

        Not sure if proud or ashamed that I recognized her…

  • Brian

    #2 A man on his wedding day. May as well pull the chord now, buddy.

    • sheoncebelieved

      This is actually a picture of The American that Voted for Obama.


      • Stan_Dalone

        and he's lookinng up at he Chrysler building, thinking naaa it is not tall enough

    • Justin

      Both of you are wrong. Can't you tell it's a mockery of the Occupy Wallstreet shit that's going on in New York? You can see in the background that it's a jab at corporate America

      • Stan_Dalone

        lighten up it isn't just corporate crap the gov't is in deep and it shouldn't be

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