Everything on the internet is true (29 photos)

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  • NaNaNaMatmaN

    #29 Second that shit!

    • Dick Salad

      Atheists talk more about God than anyone else…

      • Do0zer

        Yeah that made all the sense in the world. Go back to your "bible humping" and leave the comments to people that have a better grip on reality.

        • Dick Salad

          Just like you think everyone with a religious belief is a bible thumping tard. They are an embarrassment to our religion. You don't really see much bible thumping going on here though. I do see a lot of emotheists proclaiming how cool they are not believing in God though.

          • Bird

            My new word of the day: emotheist

            • jesus

              yeah dude – emotheist is fucking perfect

          • Do0zer

            Good point. Not all are bible thumpers. Bu then again, I could care less. Chive On!

            • http://www.facebook.com/paige.dukes Paige Dukes

              Exactly how much less COULD you care?

              • It's couldn't

                Thank you.

                • A BiPolar Guy

                  not any more. I don't say it, but it's a standard non-literal idiom now. I fought that battle with my children, i fought that battle at work, I fought that battle on the streets. I thought I would never surrender, but I did. It's ok, lots of idioms and expressions make no sense taken literally.
                  "on accident" instead of "by accident" is another change I've seen become the norm. And I think I know the family that started it!

                  • boe

                    refer to:

          • wtf

            "how cool they are not believing in god"

            cmon that argument is for children. i dont give a shit about being cool, i just dont like blinded people. if you believe in god you should read the fuckin bible and think about it. because then youll realize how stupid it is!

            • tbilly

              saying that argument is for children is what someone who is losing the argument would say.
              actually, if you learn something about human psyche and emotion, you would realize that belief in a deity isn't only acceptable- it's healthy.

              I don't necessarily believe in a higher being- I'm agnostic. What I believe is if you don't want someone telling YOU what to eat, drink, or who to fuck or marry- don't tell anyone ELSE what they should or shouldn't think or believe.

              • Dirty Dingus

                "Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people. "

                • Colonel Crapsworth

                  religion is the opium of the people… but opium feels so damn good. I'm fine with religion, but if you feel you have to rob me of my lack thereof, then the line between healthy adherence and unwarranted intrusion has been crossed.

                  • charliebrown

                    opium is the opiate of the masses

                • 098kn

                  "The atheists are for the most part impudent and misguided scholars who reason badly, and who not being able to understand the creation, the origin of evil, and other difficulties, have recourse to the hypothesis of the eternity of things and of inevitability."–Voltaire

              • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=30402995 Craig Hungus

                There are 20 times more religious people out there telling people what to believe than there are atheists actively pointing out that god is a myth, not a truth.

            • Jak

              Here's the deal. No one gives a shit what anyone else thinks on here. Keep your beliefs to yourself and make with the witty comments.

              • truth

                "make with the witty comments."

                boy, are you on the wrong site……

            • Claude M.

              Atheism is a prejudice, and the assumption that people of faith are 'blinded' is sheer egotism.

              Get over yourself, you are not smarter, more rational, or better than people of faith in any way whatsoever. You are just another bigot.

              • yep

                Those that are religious believe in their one religion and disbelieve the other 99%. Athiests just go that extra percent.

              • Mr Sir

                I think both sides of the argument have some truly appalling spokespersons.

            • wrangler86

              I love the chive… i believe in God and have read the bible several times… stupid? not what i read?

              • WS6

                amen

                • Stan_Dalone

                  IRONY at it's best. Have you noticed on the news lately how atheists have gotten together to protest against religion, What is relgion, but a bunch of people who get together who believe in a certain theory. so therefore the atheists have become their own religion

                  • Obvilious

                    Cleveland Jr? Your a chiver?

                  • SARmedic

                    this is the ONLY time i'm ever gonna thumb your unfunny ass up.

      • T Bags

        I like you Dick Salad, your views are concurrent to my own. And you have an equally awesome name.

      • McBeastie

        Actually you brought up god first, Mr. Salad. Or can I just call you Dick?

        • Dick Salad

          Oh but it would of been cool if I just said "Atheists talk more about said imaginary being than anyone else"? I'm not defending my religion here, I'm not proclaiming that it's the best… I'm not even saying that atheists are wrong for their total belief in not believing… I just made a simple observation. Not my fault if the atheists want to jump in here like a bunch of crazy non bible thumping 'bible thumpers' to defend their non religious 'religion' that totally isn't a religion lol…

          • Stan_Dalone

            I never thought I would see the day I would agree with you Salad, but I do. you are correct. Atheists are their own religion

            • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=30402995 Craig Hungus

              Calling atheism a religion is like calling bald a haircolor

          • TRON

            win

            • hMMMM

              Thank you sir, I try, I try

        • 'merica

          hey McDouche, STFU.

    • obobo

      great point

      • Matthew

        Let's just all agree that organized religion is bunk and go back to enjoying thechive before anyone gets hurt.

        • Theist

          If one person has an opposing theory, they're crazy. If many people believe the same theory, it's science.

          • jeez -.-

            yeah but those theorys are not crazy.

            so whats bad about science? religion can fuck off

            • been on both sides

              Science has been wrong. You know, world's flat, classic elemental theory, etc..
              Don't throw stones in your glass house.

              • charles

                If you're trapped in a glass house and you have a stone, then by all means throw it.

              • Ripple

                Actually, the flat earth theory was dispelled by Pythagoras in the 6th century BC. So it was not held by many, especially Christopher Columbus or anyone in his time. Here's the thing, science evolves and is ever changing. It is open to new ideas, theorems, and hypothesis. It is a free country, live how you wanna live, but do not try to push your views on others, it is counterproductive.

              • NofxFan

                I believe it was religion that insisted the world was flat. The Catholic Church was also responsible for life imprisonment of Galileo and murdering his apprentice because of scientific evidence pointing to the Earth going around the sun instead of vise versa. These battles with science and religion have been ongoing for hundreds of years, since the enlightenment, with science just about always having facts on their side. I know where my beliefs lie.

              • Pope's a dick

                Science isn't wrong, It's just always improving upon itself. Science has the honesty to change when better explanations come along, religions been the same bullshit for 10,000+ years. I mean for fuck sake the pope's still spewing that condom's increase the chance of getting AIDS in Africa. -_- He's killed more people than he's saved.

            • Bobolob

              I hope you don't use anything science has produced in your every day life, like medicine, computers, electricity, the combustion engine… Unless you're a massive hypocrite of course…

        • Claude M.

          Why should anyone agree with your delusion?

    • Raph

      it's funny how everyone gets all up in arms about the kacey anthony kid pic. but everyone loves a pic that rips on someone's religion. double standard?

      • Theist

        Both belief in God and belief in the Big Bang require faith, since nobody was there to experience them.

        The only time I read comments about religion on here are when pictures like this are posted, and then everyone tries to defend their religion, make fun of others' religions, etc. There would be no talk of religion if theChive would refrain from posting pictures that stir up arguments.

        • JustTrickinYou

          Your blaming chive for the arguing? Lame. They just provide the content. Don't discourage them from posting this type of material because you don't like it or you don't enjoy the arguing. Some people will like these types of posts, some won't. Ignorant posters will argue over anything regardless of the content. So…please chive…keep doing what you do.

        • junior

          The big bang and God are not mutually exclusive. Read Genesis then read how planets, stars etc are born. Pretty much the same story. In any event, do not confuse religion with spirituality, and please have faith in something greater than yourself, it makes you want to be a better person, and we desperately need better people in this world.

          • 9i3wj

            this.

          • Leeks

            I'm perfectly capable of trying to be a better person without religion or spirituality. People shouldn't need to think they will be rewarded after they die, to be good to each other when they are alive.

            I do agree we need better people in this world, but that applies to both the religious and non religious.

        • Stan_Dalone

          Mr. Theist, isn't the name other than the Chive, Intense debate?.So all these people are doing is having an intense debate and if someone learns from that. It's all worth it.

        • banana

          Creationtard detected. Evidence supports an expanding universe. No evidence supports the religious alternatives as described in your religious texts.

      • seewhatididthere

        No, not double standard. One was about violent death and the other was about religion… oh wait.

    • Molteninjabob

      What we need here is a separation of Church and Chive.

      • 2pumpdump

        worth reading to the bottom to see this. you got it right Molten

    • NaNaNaMatmaN

      Got my Chive shirt today!!! And for that I'd like to the thank…………………………………………… UPS and VISA

    • Pants

      I should've seen a 50+ reply argument about this post coming from a mile away.

    • fibonacci5150

      what created that which created the big bang? you can't explain that!

      • Next Question

        Taco Tuesdays.

    • Malkintosh22

      Late Comedian George Carlin once covered this with great humor and logic.

      • shanemcguire88

        now look at all this arguing because it involved a small ass picture that said religion.

        shut up. do what you want. gg

      • Haha

        Religion is BS? So says the comedian.

    • whoa

      Yep, that's shit alright

    • Drought

      But can anyone ever truly answer the question "Why?"

    • http://affeslist.com Affe

      "When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours." – Stephen F Roberts

    • http://bryainiac.tumblr.com/ bryainiac

      I had a feeling this photo would cause religious battles. If you believe in JOD, disregard this and if you don't believe in him, laugh at it for it is funny.

    • DrkWngDk

      blah blah blah

  • The_Arkitekt

    #8 Birthdays would be celebrated monthly instead of yearly.

    • Tristlo

      The Cake Boss would be the boss….

    • mike

      So does your husband….

    • http://bryainiac.tumblr.com/ bryainiac

      I would say weekly.

  • mrme

    #21 – working looks like something

  • homer

    #7 Sad but true.

    • https://www.facebook.com/jason.ciotti Jason Ciotti

      Not true. All the Chivettes seem un-nuts so far…and they are hotter than the sun on fire.

      • dbolusaf

        i bet they have a screw loose somewhere, this law is infallible…

        • John

          Yeah, just like psychopaths have the ability to act normal

      • Raunchy The 1st

        yeah, 'cause there's nothing nutsy about putting half-naked pictures of yourself on the internet for total strangers to fap and fawn over, amirite?

  • Cruzer117

    #24 so true!!!

    • DaddyD

      Except that it's an organization chart, not a flow chart.

    • AssClown

      You let someone took a big shit on your head?! You must like that video about 2 girls and 1 cup?

    • Stan_Dalone

      Cruzer you took the thoughts right out of my head. it is very true no doubt

  • AssClown

    #27 Totally did, damn you gay-voice

    • Ricardo

      Oh noooo!

      • pwndu232

        I knoooow!

    • Bucky Jones

      Damn it… fucker got me too

    • smarterthanyou

      Your own damn fault for watching that 30min/week waste of your life.

      Script:
      [insert joke about sex]
      [insert joke about bodily function]
      [insert joke that some group will find morally offensive]
      repeat.

      Holy Shit! I've discovered the formula for writing the scripts for Family Guy, American Dad, and the Cleveland Show! I'm gonna be rich!

      • klmk

        100% agree. shit's lame.

      • 098kn

        An animated show that airs on FOX on sunday nights with a retarded, gluttonous, yet lovable father, a long-suffering, yet sexy housewife with an annoying voice, a smart daughter that everyone hates, a stupid son that is just a younger version of his dad, and a smart baby? i liked it better when it was The Simpsons.

      • FloppyRocks

        And yet… somehow you aren't rich.

    • LiT

      you can't explain that …. aliens

  • Doofenshmirtz

    #29…TRUE DAT! Spot on observation…!

  • Htisss

    #24 Resembles my life.

    *sigh*

  • http://www.douggoff.com Doug

    #11 I can't understand why they don't release a Married With Children reunion. I'm sure there are millions who would watch it.

    • Bucky Jones

      My favorite was Jefferson… I also missed the No Ma'Am crew

      • Lucky VanBuren

        What about Grand Master B?

      • Matt

        National Organization of Men Against Amazonian Masterhood!

    • ROK247

      watch modern family:
      *rich as hell
      *awesome house
      *gorgeous wife with giant boobs

      damn i wish i was Al

    • McBeastie

      Probably because the only actor that would be really interested in a reunion is David Faustino.

    • Dug

      I knowww, right??

      I can't explain that either!

      • AL Bunskis

        Yeah have you seen AL these days? he doesn't even look like the same person… saw him a few years ago in a show called John From Cincinnati and he looked hella old!

  • jrey81

    #11, bittersweet and mindblowingly true… #24, the truth of it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000018963941 Tim Brown

    #13 I see this all too often. Never thought of a retarded seal, But I will now!

    • Fleeb

      Too often? How can you see people laughing too often? I love laughing that hard. I like laughing so hard I feel the need to explain to people that I'll get it together soon…just not…yet…

  • Mr.Plow

    #29 FUCK YOU CHIVE BURN IN HELL BITCHES!!! Don't be praying when your ass catches Cancer. Believe it!!

    • Calmthefuckdown

      Way to act like your not one of those crazy people

    • Geoff

      Y U mad tho?

    • Truth

      #23

    • Hank Scorpio

      Dude, they went to a Presbyterian college. Chill out.

    • dbsnydes

      communicable ass cancer?

    • http://twitter.com/rockstar_323 @rockstar_323

      How very Christian of you.

    • Fleeb

      Obvious troll is obvious.

    • OIew

      anyone who responds to Mr.Plow with a straight-faced anti-religious response, makes me ashamed to be an atheist.

      • Chris

        My thought exactly

    • Stan_Dalone

      tell us how you really feel son

    • yep

      Wow, I see religion has turned you into a forgiving, kind, soul…. Isn't WWJD one of your favortie sayings? Sorry, but I just can't imagine old JC saying what you jut said. Do all of us sinners a favor and turn off your computer, and spend the rest of your life praying for us.

    • iliketurtles

      u mad bro.

  • MissChris

    #27 You got me! Wah-nay…!

    • Stan_Dalone

      got me too, btw miss chris saw your pic very attractive

      • Guesty

        GO THE FUCK AWAY

        • Ted Bundy

          agreed.

        • Stan_Dalone

          don't like it don't read oryou can leave at anytime same goes forTed bundy

          • Guesty

            Die

  • Coldzilla

    #8 And cake shops would be a prevalent as Starbucks 😉

    • Stan_Dalone

      maybe even more so as guys would be lined up to buy cake for their wives/girl friends

  • Seniºr

    #12

    Never a more true statement

    • John

      half the time i forget the pencil

      • dashete

        Yeah and even then it wasn't sharpened. Just wanted to look like I had something in my hand.

  • maggiemay13

    #14 Way to be Ohio men!

    • #387

      You need only look to the Asians of Ohio to find true sorrow ladies!

      • Zedhere

        I just want it to be known that I am not from Ohio. Thank you.

      • Freddy Mercury

        Asian men having smaller penises is a myth(just like black guys having larger ones is). white guys do seem to be the most insecure about theirs though.

    • http://www.facebook.com/ranDgallegos Randall Gallegos

      and suddenly im glad im from Chicago! (yes i know it doesnt matter really but let me have this one)

      • An Ex-Boyfriend

        really? i could've sworn you were from Ohio……

      • Senor Gallegos

        we were on our way to Chicago from NYC, but your mother went into labor in Ohio. Makes a lot of sense, always wondered why you were such a pequenito.

  • wkdfrog

    #28 lol

  • Muy Bueno

    #11 No, now Al has a sweet crib, a nice ride and a smoking hot wife in Sofia Vergarra. Now I wish was Al.

  • Do0zer

    I'll edit my comment to keep the religious war out of the comments and say that #7 is very but they forgot to add that the crazy ones are usually the best in bed!!

    • http://thechive.com/ GernBlansten

      I always found that the more straight laced in public, the freakier in bed.

      As for crazy, they all have it to one degree or another.

      • Stan_Dalone

        Amen Gern. they all get bitchy at one point or another

        • you suck

          how the fuck would you know

  • pooper

    #17 = so true

  • Unfkngblvbl

    #17 still makes me laugh my ass off

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000430036420 D.j. Droneburg

    #29 Why can't we leave religion out of it and all just laugh at funny shit and enjoy the Chivettes of the site?

    • Bud

      religion is funny shit.. ergo, it is posted on the site.

    • Claude M.

      Because atheism, underneath its jargon, is an expression of perceived inferiority. Atheist want to believe that they are better than everyone else, thought they realize that they are not and fear that they are inferior to everyone else

      so they frequently create and post this kind of material in public as a way of denigrating other people in order to feel that they, and their lives, are not as ordinary as they really are.

      • http://www.facebook.com/ranDgallegos Randall Gallegos

        and this is the response you get from a religious person that doesnt like to use LOGIC. if you saw a grown man that told you he had an invisible friend that he talks to that grants him wishes and he believes created EVERYTHING in the universe, you would say he was batshit crazy, until he said the word "jesus" then you'd be all, "oh me too" smh….

      • tableg

        I'm not sure where you come up with this stuff but you're generalizing and acting similar to these characters you are demeaning.
        I for one am not atheist, nor religious. I have never concluded there isn't some sort of spirituality but I don't believe without evidence. You could say I have little faith. No religion has had enough evidence for me personally to believe in it. Though I do not think less of someone if they have faith.
        I however do find it interesting that religion has been modified overtime to suit the time period or persons in power. To me it was a method of maintaining society when there were little options available and now has translated into something very different over the centuries… just a small speculation

        Either way, its okay to laugh at yourself sometimes… it's fucking philosoraptor for god's sake 😛

        cheers,
        Andrew

    • RadioDeej

      If we can't make fun of everything, we can't make fun of anything.

      • Raunchy The 1st

        yeah! if we can't make fun of raping and murdering small children, we shouldn't be able to make fun of someone wearing his pants sagging off his ass. MAKES PERFECT SENSE, amirite?

  • el jefe

    #25 'merika! #10 We will never forget

    • MAX_POW

      #10 OUR children will never know what a cassette was

  • turbodude

    I porked your best friends mom on her computer table and she paid me $77 an hour…

    • http://www.allinbayarea.com TWON925

      then I paid turbodude 76 dollars to Whack the last dude who brought that weak shit to the Chive so piss off YangBrett

  • Carmelo

    #29 I don't know why some people take so much glee in dumping on religion. If they don't believe that's their right, but why do they mock those who do?

    • http://www.facebook.com/DriftwoodProse Nathan Hart

      It's kind of like mocking the fifth grader who still believes in Santa.

      • my5tika1cll

        Or like mocking gay people for being fags???? I dont think they care too much for that either….

        • Bud

          I'm confused.. are you comparing mocking religious beliefs with mocking sexual orientation? Or are we just still making fun of religion since they mock gay people.

        • http://www.facebook.com/ranDgallegos Randall Gallegos

          um… no its not like that at all actually…

      • 'merica

        #23

    • http://www.facebook.com/MalloryAlyce Mallory Alyce Drew

      Why do people who believe in religion shove it everyone's face

      • Claude M.

        Why do atheists and homophobes use the same talking points?

        • charles

          why does it burn when I pee?

          • Captain Awesome

            How do you get gum out of corderoy?

            • http://www.facebook.com/ranDgallegos Randall Gallegos

              how do you get fabric softener stains out of a shirt?

            • thursday'sFIRE

              Good luck with that my friend

          • whoa

            Yeah you should def. get that checked out man

      • Harry Carry

        I'm Ron Burgundy?

      • Haha

        Yeah that's kind of not true.

    • Claude M.

      Because they are insecure about their own self-worth, just like homophobes and racists. Atheism is a prejudice, it's sole purpose is to give those who believe a reason to believe that they are better than everyone else.

      Atheism has become more popular than ever before, at the same time that most other prejudices have become socially unacceptable. For people who need someone to mock in order to feel good about themselves, they cannot be racist anymore, they cannot really be homophobic anymore, or sexist, or antisemitic, all that it really left for them is to be atheist.

      • AKBAR

        atheist = common sense….sorry that's so hard for you to swallow….amen (oops).

        • Red

          i'm an atheist, and i think people like you are tremendous assholes who need stop giving us a bad name.

          • Greene

            I am not an atheist and I think people like you are tremendous asshats! No actual point , just thought I'd share that.

            • Red

              i respect your opinion, and how you may choose to express it.

              • Greene

                Well now I just feel like an ass……

    • davo

      because someone believing in god is the same as going to a building every sunday and praying to santa claus

      • lofl

        you be a singin' a different tune someday!

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