God, I would SWEAR that I wrote this a few years ago as a freshman in college. I had a whiteboard outside my door, and would write off-the-wall shit on it all the time. The handwriting resembles mine too. But, I can't be 100% on that, since it was almost 6 years ago and I have a hard time remembering what I had for breakfast most days. Still, it is kinda fun to think that something I once wrote made it to The Chive.

maybe, but it still sounds like something paula would say