Daily Morning Awesomeness (20 Photos)

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  • Still_Counts

    #20 I'd still tap that…

    • SuperiorTo8

      At least she'll already be used to being hit in the face with hard, wood-ish objects.
      ps. Thanks for not making it a "FIRST" comment… You got class

      • scrotumphillips

        facebook

      • Bubba

        I'd say: FIND!

      • AssClown

        It's called "Blap".

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      Subliminal marketing!

      Hugs,
      Paula
      – for Facebook!

    • 09ik

      #4 no wonder you Americans are such a bunch of fat fucks.

      • HelloThere!

        Yeah because that's obviously English on his shirt. God damn foreigners

  • JAFitC

    #19. GEt out of there! You don't have opposable thumbs to work the faucets!

    • Duvel

      Silly rex, he doesn't even have the conditioner

    • JT Mo-Nay

      I have a big head….and little arms! Can someone get the hot water for me?

    • http://www.facebook.com/damonaco Daniel Angelo Monaco

      When first saw this I thought: Clever Girl

  • Strewart

    #1 what will they think of next?? This is going on my amazon wish list.

    • Brian

      Yeah..wish list…they go for $3,500 a piece.

    • BearOnStilts

      well you can get a toaster that cooks your eggs at the same time, or an alarm clock that cooks bacon and wakes up with the smell of freshly cooked bacon

    • Stan_Dalone

      auto-omlette?

      • Guesty

        fucking goodness man take a hint

        • Stan_Dalone

          ok how about auto-blueberry muffin maker?

          • Tits McGee

            how about get the fuck out?

            • Stan_Dalone

              well I am sure if you stuck your head in it it wouldn't be a good thing so ya you better get the fuck out lol

              • Stan_Dalone

                if telling me to get out is your best plan you had better rethink your plan cause it isn't gunna work, moron trolls

    • SHW

      I used one in a Holiday Inn Express in Colorado last month. Pretty tasty but it presses the pancakes pretty hard to cook it, which makes it really dense. Not light and fluffy like a really good pancake. BUT – it's a push-a-button-get-a-pancake machine. It was awesome!

  • Frank

    #19 – It's cool bro – I'll wait.

  • http://www.facebook.com/conecta2.dk Eduardo David I. Sicard

    #10 WTF!?

    • http://twitter.com/unstableass @unstableass

      Uncle Chael proving a point

      • The_Dood

        That he is no stranger to autofellatio?

    • Fatality

      I'd say MMA guy applying a triangle choke to himself

      • http://twitter.com/unstableass @unstableass

        He's lost 11 fights and 8 of those were to triangle choke….. and he is the biggest smartass in mma

  • RIPSteveJobs

    #2 "We're on a bridge, Charlie!"

  • Fat

    #4 looks so fucking good.

    • dashete

      It just emasculated my lunch

    • Meh

      will kill you before you even take a full bite…probably worth it

    • Tomfuckinneedledick

      I can feel my arteries clogging up already, but fuck it…

    • James

      Do they serve a Lipator with that?

  • bigcat72

    #5 most Awesome fence ever! Sir, thank you!

    • Meh

      wow you must have low standards

    • morebeer

      creepiest fence ever

    • Ha.Ha.

      Shannon's fence

    • Ashley

      Somehow reminds me of "A Clockwork Orange"

  • DO WANT

    #6 Dear Santa…

    • LawlessVictory

      Seriously. Heck yeah.

    • Dr_StrangePants

      CHIVE!
      why are you not selling these?

  • eclipze

    Y U NO HAVE BOOBS IN AWESOMENESS ???

    • BearOnStilt

      Because you are pretty pathetic to use the chive to find boobs when there are whole other websites that cater to that exact function

      • Lawndart

        It's still nice to see some ta ta's at work, where your internet is filtered to the max and you can't really go to those other websites.

        • Bear Grylls

          No Google at work?

        • Bear Grylls

          Proxy sites…learn to use them

    • forestchiver

      #5

  • http://www.facebook.com/cnewman3 Chris Newman

    #18 awesome natural phenomena's are awesome

    • houtini

      Idiot's apostrophes are not awesome.

      • http://www.facebook.com/cnewman3 Chris Newman

        Depends if you're a grammar nazi or not. Either way, this "idiot" doesn't care.

        • forestchiver

          Oh so now this idiot is referring to himself in the third person

        • Smuggler

          Maybe we grammar nazis just think you should stop being such a fucking idiot.

    • J_Dub

      it's early and I'm apparently behind on my coffee intake because I watched this thing like 8 times and still don't see whats whats happening???

      • drakeml82

        Its totally pitch black but you can see the wave/surf etc because of microorganisms.

        Check out here:
        http://www.buzzfeed.com/catesish/bioluminescent-s

        • H_something

          It is not totally pitch black. You can not see the glow if there is too much light or too little light.

          • TitoRigatoni

            You certainly can see the glow if there is no light at all, I have seen it in total darkness.

        • J_Dub

          thank you sir. your link shows this much more clearly. That is pretty awesome actually…

      • SmokeyJane

        this was happening in SoCal last week, here in San Diego it went for about 6 days and was so beautiful!

    • Craigery

      "phenomena" is already plural.

  • SuperiorTo8

    #8 Ironically enough, I got the same thing on the boot of my car…
    Bastards just keep trying to escape

    • 6655321

      That's not ironic.

    • Meh

      You sir need to learn what irony means.

    • SpiffyTrousers

      I have a similar print on my front bumper, except it's an imprint instead. No idea how it got there.

      Also, let me be the third to point out that you have no idea what irony is.

    • NotSuperiorTo8

      The irony is you don't know what irony is.

    • SuperiorTo8

      Yeah, I misused the word Irony. My bad.
      But you know what the really ironic thing is… How much of a fuck I don't give

  • charlie
  • Bill

    #1. Push a button and ….pancakes? You can't explain that!

    • Meh

      Yes you can, American laziness.

      • Big_Curt

        No, American Badassness

        • NotSuperiorTo8

          Yes American Laziness to the rest of the world, but in America they believe it is Bassassness (which isn't even a word)

          • Correction

            Badassness

            idiot

        • 09ik

          no, it's laziness. typical of you Americans.

          • phideauxe

            Curious what country you live in that is so industrious. I guarantee "lazy" Americans have had to save your ass at some point in the last 100 years.

    • Ha.Ha.

      although i'd always prefer to have my pancakes made by a naked female, this will do for emergency breakfast situations.

  • Undershooter30

    #7 They see me rollin….

    • https://www.facebook.com/anthony.tamez1 Anthony Tamez

      Cornelius !!!!!!!!

    • http://www.facebook.com/richard.c.rice Richard Rice

      meanwhile at Texas Tech

  • PANCHO

    #18 what an acid trip

  • Undershooter30

    #20 apparently someone got that bitch a book

    • Uppershooter30

      Well bitches love books

    • Elvis O,

      Bitch didn't really get that whole facebook thing.

  • Panda

    #7 Cowboy fan. Seems about right.

  • Undershooter30

    #3 Me and that cat are kindred spirits.

    • Undershooter30

      Posturepedic bed, but still sleeps on couch bc drinks too much.

  • dashete

    #20 One girl in the whole post and she's being hit in the face with a foreign object?

    Chive is getting dark!

    • Stan_Dalone

      facebook inception

    • http://echogeo.wordpress.com/ echogeo

      Now tea bagging doesn't sound so bad.

    • George

      Maybe its a cookbook?

  • Undershooter30

    #24 is how I feel now that it is friday too!

    • Massie Stevens

      i like how i can stare at this for 5 minutes before realizing ……iv been staring for that long ha

    • Finalstrike

      Its how i felt last night when i got my BETA email for SWTOR lol

  • Who gives a fuck

    #6 I'm about to Hadouken my foot up you ass!

    • Grammarnazi

      "You're". Or if you are black… "yo".

      • https://www.facebook.com/pctechjunkie429 Kyle White

        Actually it would be "your", in the possessive tense. "You're" is a contraction for "you are", so that wouldn't make any sense at all. [/grammar naziness]

        • Harry Carry

          you just did a correction within a correction…

          correctception

  • SenorWilson

    #7 So I built this bike right that tears your penis off when you sit down.

    • Meh

      why would you sit down though?

    • thedude325

      whish i could like this twice.

  • Antoine Dodson

    #12 "He climbin in yo windows…"

    • Nathan_Wind

      Nope. Chuck Testa.

      • GuyWhoLaughs

        haha!

    • AsciiAdam

      Reminds me that I need to renew my membership.

    • intruder

      snatchin yo people up

      • intruder

        tryin to rape em

        • Intruder also

          so you need to

  • Harry Carry

    #1 HERE'S A BLANK CHECK. GIVE ME THAT PANCAKE MAKER

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