Friday Dopamine Dump (28 photos)

  • Matthew

    #21 I like to watch Killer Whales while I gorge myself on food…

    • Penis Wrinkle


  • Head Chef

    #10 Ecto 1 fail !!

    • TitoRigatoni

      Really. I mean, how hard could it be to find a 1959 Cadillac ambulance?

      • Firefighter23

        We have a scrapyard up state just packed with them.

    • commodoresixtyfour

      but he does have a sweet subaru outback…which is nice

    • McBeastie

      I hope the new ghostbusters movie has the subaru in it so all y'all spontaneously combust in nerd rage.

      • Michael Alen Pugh


    • BOOM They got a ton of awesome ones

  • map

    Bill Fucking Murray!

    • Mavi

      Is The Fukin King :p

  • sniggi


    • yer dad


  • Logan_the_Chiver

    The guys back in Iowa are NEVER gonna believe this! #2

    • The Chivery

      Guesty? That you?

      • Guesty

        It is not

    • bad man

      Yep! because Iowa or the Midwest for that matter, lack any diversity. we just a bunch a corn fed white boys. nah, you're mistaken not me. enough with the ignorant, one minded stereotypes of the Midwestern peoples. Lets just stick to Asians and/or the gays, black people, Jews, Arabs, Canadians, Catholics, the disabled, Southerners, Protestants, California Highway Patrol, Native Americans, AIDS patients, communists, hippies, the poor, the rich, Hispanics, celebs, trannies..

      • yer dad

        You forgot the Socialists.

    • c3below

      Yes, the whole 7 people who live in Iowa

    • insonh

      100 points Gryffindor

    • ლ(ಠ益ಠლ)

      u jelly?

  • LG_

    #19 is epic on so many levels.

    • Paula_

      Did you read my poem in today's DMA, dear? ❤

      – the one you love to hate

      • Shannon Coverdale

        Sigh summer is over, and shush paula

        • grego

          ahhh but it has only just began way down here in new zealand,thank god or someone

      • Guesty

        no one gives a flyin fuck about you or your poems Bitch

    • ChumbaWumba

      Define "Epic" …. honey ….

    • Event Horizon

      I'm only getting at most two levels out of this.

  • AssClown

    #12 Haha why would you send your own failure to the Chive? "Will you have fries with that?"

    • NebraskaGuy

      That's a good point!

      I wonder if he/she actually filled out the app … ?

      • AssClown

        If he/she was dumb enough to send it to the Chive, he/she was probably dumb enough to fill out the app…;)

        • McBeastie

          Before you judge to quickly remember all your posts go out under the name "AssClown." I'm guessing you've seen your fair share of failed tests and fast food applications.

          • AssClown

            Yeah well……….your mom's a whore!

            • McBeastie

              One that you'll never be able to afford.

              • laugher


    • Paula_

      Why, does that taste funny to you?

      – the one you love to hate

      • Guesty

        tatses funny cause you are a rotten bitch

        • Guesty

          tastes ,Pardon it tasted so bad I had to spit it out

    • FACE!

      fail a test, end up with a job, better than most people who have left university.

  • NebraskaGuy

    #1 Now THAT'S what I call a low-down, dirty good time! 😉

  • misschris

    #19 Perfectly timed photo. It's awesome… and it makes me a little sad.

    • Paula_

      Don't be jealous of LG dear, one day I'll write you a poem too ❤

      – the one you love to hate

      • xXbeermonkeyXx

        now thats just creepy and desperate for attention. which if you think about it, its normal Paula_ behaviour

      • Guesty

        listen you idiot get over yourself no one cares

        • Loops


    • gary

      come on, this is not happiness

  • Active Hunter

    Now I'm left with WTF?

    • /b/tard

      -_- and I thought this was a more filtered version of /b/

  • :-D

    # 15 Naw, I shot it and ate it.

  • NebraskaGuy

    #12 Lol well he's keepin' it real!

    • ale

      that teacher is awesome.

    • Allie Howard

      Teachers should totally do this more often! Might scare their students into actually applying themselves.

      • NebraskaGuy

        I agree!

        • Byrne0ut

          Maybe McDonalds isn't a bad place to work ya know.

          • Guesty

            It's worked out for the last 5 years for you, huh? You are just about to get promoted to drive thru cashier. Congrats!

            • Byrne0ut


            • Guesty

              fuck you guesty you know you clean the grease pits in the kitchen and the cesspool out in the back

              • Guesty

                I'm glad I've been so successful that multiple people are now using the username guesty. Keep on trolling you guys

    • SARmedic

      We need more teachers like this, lmao!

  • Here's Johnny

    I hate you Paula!

  • untamedride

    "red solo cup, i fill you up, lets have a party" #22

    • Badness

      At least this time they have a cup for each of them.

    • Steve Mergaman

      3 reasons why I should have never left college…

    • insonh


  • Kodos

    white boy love the dark meat…

    • Paula_

      Pretty fly for a white guy!

      – pretty girls too…

      • Guesty

        you are fuckin piece of white trash Paula you wouldn't know good if it kicked your sorry ass

        • Truth

          Stan, stop sock-puppeting.

          • Stan_Dalone

            I am me no one else, I don't need to be anyone else. I have enough trouble being myself tyvm

            • FuckoffStan

              Yeah I imagine it takes patience, hard work and a lot of practice to be be as obnoxious, hypocritical and ignorant as you are

    • Erik D

      Lucky ass dude. I keep sayin we need more color on this site. Ebony girls don't get any loving here, when in my opinion they're the most beautiful race. Love me some caramel colored skin along with their naturally thick asses and big titties

      • Michael Heredia

        Here here Erik. I second.

        • Niggher Beater

          hell no. leave those filthy darkies out to rot and get eaten by the wild baboons they spawned from.

      • ლ(ಠ益ಠლ)

        Not really, most people aren't black that's your correlation.

        Also if we have to be exotic, then asian > african girls

  • Me2

    We need more Bill ####ing Murray Shirts

  • AssClown

    #24 Batmurray – Your argument is invalid.

    • Tj Huddleston

      Please tell me The Chive is making this into a shirt!!!…. I need this…like yesterday

      • forestchiver

        shirt or HQ for wallpaper. Chive needs hoodies. end of story

    • George N. Penesis

      when do they start filming?!

    • ka eye n de el eye n

      Why is this voted down? It's awesome!!

      • Michael Alen Pugh

        hahaha i KNOW! I would thumb up's that comment several times if i could… and thumbs up to the HOODIES idea… i would certainly buy one.

  • Nick

    #8 Portland Huge Honkin Burrito in the Square by chance?????

    • LG_

      Or possibly a regular Chipotle burrito. I do admit that South Park is my source:

      • Brand_n

        No, Chipotle wraps their burritos in gold foil.

        • truthserum

          Dude. How do you think you eat the burrito? They wrap it in gold, put it in a paper tray, give you a plastic fork and then you shit it out whole 2 days later. You have take it out of the gold foil to eat it.

          • Brand_n

            No shit, buddy. You're supposed to keep the foil on and slowly unwrap it as you're eating to prevent it from dripping all over your pants though. They even have instructions printed on the napkins.

        • LG_

          Twas' a joke. I am allergic to 99.9% of burritos (wheat) so I have no clue who made that baby-sized monstrosity. All I know is that South Park attributed unnaturally large burritos to Chipotle…so it seemed fitting. 😉

          • Travis

            LG, I recommend Chipotleway for your Chipotle binges.

      • Paula_

        Yo bitch, my poem, did you read it?

        – gotta write that bitch more poems. Bitches love poems.

        • LG_

          Hey now! I'm on my lunch break but I haven't checked the poem or the page yet. I thought trolls didn't know how to write poems? Something about rhyming schemes being detrimental to their health or something… 😉

          • Paula_

            <3Ahhh…..<3 Ok, we're cool then ❤ dear <3Lauren<3
            Love to hear back from you <3<3<3

            – preferably by whispering in my ear while wearing nothing but Chanel # 5

            • Stan_Dalone

              You come off as SO needy Paula maybe you should get a pet- no wait, bad idea you would eat it.

              • FuckoffStan

                Oh look – its the fucking hypocrite troll hard at work again


          • Guesty

            LG for your health and safety I wouldn't get involved she has multi-personality disorder and is a known stalker in Holland

    • Craigery

      Yes, must be from that specific restaurant, because it's not possible that two burrito places could make similar-looking burritos.

    • Boydo

      I thought the same thing. So tasty!

  • map

    Zukerberg has the "Gold Account", right?

  • Kodos

    Roofies take effect in 3…2..

    • ???

      Dear diary…

      • Steve Mergaman


  • brad

    #20 instant meme-status!

    • Mitch Cumstein

      "The world Chico, and everything in it."

    • Bilbo T-Baggins
      • Lulatsch

        I want this as a wallpaper!

    • Wes

      Frank Lopez takes you under his wing?

      Kill that fat fuck and steal his wife.

  • Big_Curt

    #28 = Badass

  • Brian


    That's a (really) cool story bro, but (you may want to) take it easy on the parentheses, it can get (really) annoying when you use (way) too many.

    • Jay

      I bet you're a blast at parties.

      • Hippy Dan

        Get past the parentheses (bro)! It's (really) annoying when people can't see (the forest) past the trees!

    • Sam

      Not really a great story as deer that are hand raised in a home will never be able to survive in the wild. This is why wildlife rehabilitators exist. They know how to raise an animal to be released. This deer's only option is a sanctuary or zoo. If they release it, it will be dead within a month.

      • Sadman

        And you know because you visited the zoo? You are a tool. I have worked on a farm and we would hit the bedded fawns with the combine every once in a while when cutting hay. If a sibling was still alive, we would raise it until it could go out on it's own. One spike was trouble, since it was raging with testosterone. There was a doe that came back with it's own fawns on two different seasons. Maybe my definition of success being survival and breeding in nature is too narrow. You might mention that it is illegal to raise a deer in most of the USA, but call Fish and Game to see what they recommend (kill it or let them kill it).

        • Michael Alen Pugh

          No No… he know's that the friends they will be giving the fawn to are incapable of raising it for the time being, until it is ready to go out into the wild, because he OBVIOUSLY follows the deer everywhere they go up until they die. He then documents how the deer died and then concludes that it was a result of the people being generous enough to take it in for the time being. Clearly.

  • John J Linehan

    Yeah because we really need more friggin deer running around…

    • Hippy Dan

      …or dickheads

    • Craigery

      We don't need any more people, either. Maybe we should just let orphans die.

      • LuvH8fulChix

        That would be wasteful. They should be trained to perform menial tasks and dangerous labor.

  • map

    Paula, I am curious yellow!

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