I hate my job (27 Photos)

  • Jim

    I had a job as a boob watcher. Then I woke up. bummer

    • uquestionmyjudgement

      who jim what u taking?

    • 6655321

      Isn't it spelled "boner"?

      • 6655321

        I suppose that could be in place of boob or bummer in retrospect. So, it applies to both genders.

  • Hottydaddy!


    • Monday

      alas poor hottydaddy, you only came second, which may actually be a first for you.

  • http://Homes4Men.com Stafferty

    #18 Not so much anymore. Hows that Bank of America buyout going?

    • Nailed it.

      I would say that compared to not existing anymore the B of A buyout is going fantastic.
      Thanks for checking in and Ill be sure to get your sarcastic memo to the next person who feels like they know what is actually happening.
      Someone who generates revenues.

      • poopscile

        You sir, are my new hero.

      • http://Homes4Men.com Stafferty

        Hmmm, lets just see a moment.

        Where Is the "Excellence" in being a part of a company that lost 31 cents a share last quarter that currently has over $740B in outstanding debt and is getting dangerously close to penny stock territory.

        For the "integrity" part of it, I'll just bring up collateralized debt obligations and the fact they paid 36% of TARP funds out as executive bonuses.

        And if you are so good at "generating revenues", BofA wouldn't have needed to give Buffet 6% interest on newly issued Preferred stock or have such a cash flow problem that it now feels the need to charge every customer a $5 a month fee to access their own money.

        Retail investors are going to disappear unless something drastic changes with volatility and investor confidence, and Merrill will not be far behind.

        • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

          Right! Meow, back to Chiving.

          If you don't pay the hooker, is that considered rape or theft, hMMMM?

          – the one you love to hate

          • hMMMM

            What, Paula. What do you want?

            • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

              An answer to my simple question while using 'hMMMM' instead of 'Hmmm' as a Chive reference.

              – the one you love to hate

              • hMMMM

                I would consider it theft. It's not really rape if the "victim" doesn't really give a shit….

          • diddles

            Raw Dog

        • ProudMerrill

          Stafferty, go hit #Occupy with some of the other freeloaders. I'm a Thundering Herd FA as well and you have no idea what you're talking about – besides what numbers you have skewed in your favor.

          #1) Bank of America lets us run under our own domain with complete control. Nothing has changed.
          #2) TARP funds were paid back by BofA in one of the fastest manners of all banks, with interest.
          #3) Merrill Lynch does not charge $5 to access their money
          #4) you have no idea what you're talking about in regards to Tier 1 and 2 capital or Basil 3 requirements. BofA did not "need" Buffet's investment. That was initiated by him.
          #5) We have more clients, assets and average assets under management per FA than any other firm in the world.

          Go join the freeloaders on #Occupy that want handouts

          • Mitzo

            By "other freeloaders" do you mean "bank managers"?

          • teh dude

            Love how you bitch about handouts while stating that its ok for BofA because they paid it back in a timely manner.

        • Nailed it.

          "blah blah blah corporate greed, blah blah blah TARP funds, blah blah blah- oh crap my ipad just stopped working."
          "Barista, I think there is a problem with the Wi-Fi in here! Can we get someone to check that out?"

          I hope you find inner peace one day. Hopefully it costs you less than $5/month. 🙂
          The guy who just served you your lunch.

    • possibly

      I worked for them in Seattle for a while. From what I was privy to, they *may* have been excellent and had integrity before the buyout.

    • EZP

      Haha I was working for them in NYC for a while, loved it! where are you guys located ?
      btw, Merrill is the BofA cash cow, even Ken Lewis reluctantly said so back in the days in one of the call.

      • ProudMerrill

        EZP, yeah we are more or less the golden lamb. I'm on the the FA side in Ohio.

  • Holy Hell

    Now that's one hell of a "chain" of command.

    • Spencer_on_Fire

      I go through that every day as a check list

    • Chivacy Please

      Sales Manager doesn't do crap all day. He just lays under my desk, naps & licks his balls.

  • http://theflintskinny.blogspot.com/ TheFlintSkinny

    #27 Get this person the Teacher of the Year award now!

    • ¬_¬

      they used comic sans, they are forbidden that right now.

  • wkdfrog

    #2 Awesome ad is awesome!

    • hMMMM

      Personally, I would never go work for someone who doesn't know the difference between "inquire" and "enquire". As a matter of fact, enquire isn't even a real word! That squiggly red line underneath….yeah.

  • MylesofStyles

    #22 At least they've provided you with a state-of-the-art monitor…no…wait…never mind.

    • Northern WI Huh?


      • Zorcmsr5

        I'm also curious, I work at a camp in Northern Wisconsin

        • sethleyj1987

          I guess there is quite a few of us northern sconnie chivers

      • HardCore

        i also vote Rhinelander 😀

        • DuncanIdaho33

          I vote Park Falls.

  • HillBilly Bone

    Hmmmm. Working at Kellogg's or the loony bin? #1

    • Jeff

      Cheerios research centre.

    • MylesofStyles

      Homosexual psychiatric ward.

    • BigHeadEd

      I think it's spelled "Froot Loops" so I'm going with looney bin.

  • http://thechive.com/ mattythegooch

    I guess it takes Juan to know Juan?? #17 – I'm fucking LAME!!

    • AssClown

      Here's my fucking LAME one: Bob Marley, Jamaican me crazy!!!

  • Verbal_Kint

    #6 Impressive. MOST impressive..

    • BlackMamba

      how is this in work sucks though?

    • USAF

      Crappy job though…My stealth cans only have about a centimeter of beer can showing and are cut perfectly straight.

      Also, if you are going to do this use the proper soda can. I.E. Coke Zero can over a Bud Select…Both are black and hard to catch

  • larsy87

    #27 you should learn never to use comic sans ms

  • https://www.facebook.com/pctechjunkie429 Kyle White

    Ingenuity win, or desperateness fail? I think both.

  • manchakattack

    #27 gets my vote.

  • Jen

    #13 – I laughed…

  • Monkey

    #23 thats a wicked ass coffee maker.

    • love it

      Ass coffee. Do not want.

    • panama99

      "You must return to the Java-Side"

    • http://www.myspace.com/theamericanmaniacs BentWrenches

      I have that same coffee maker at home.It even sounds like Darth Vader whilst brewing.lmao

  • Nick_FTW


  • chivingchiver

    #7 seems legit

    #12 no shit

  • jasonsapunka

    #12 What if I just want to open it and stay where I am?

  • chicago

    #11 Coffee Pot rules for the Mail-room at the Post Office.

    • USAF

      If there is enough for one cup left, then it should be on the person who is about to pour the last cup to make another pot.

      That's how it is at my work and no one bitches…

      • love it

        Then it just becomes a waiting game. Who will cave first and take the last cup?

      • LuvH8fulChix

        See, I disagree. He who wants the coffee makes the coffee, and he's rewarded with the freshest cup. Don't let it sit around getting stale.

    • wolves

      looks fake

    • https://www.facebook.com/babybluealliecat Allie Howard


  • The_Dood

    #4 Where can I buy that key?

  • who knew

    #24 I LOL a little too much. Need to dry out keyboard

  • Kyra

    #22 Yup, seems about right.

  • Master_Rahl

    #18 Submersible mouse, now there's an idea

  • http://thechive.com/ bkfrijoles

    anybody else think #27 was a GIF???

    • Jeff


      • http://thechive.com/ bkfrijoles

        something should have pop out from behind the desk

        • Jeff

          Perhaps, but it didn't, time to move on.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001079218140 Nikolay Gevechanov

    #6 you have your mother's eyes…

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