• chicago

    I'd get fired first day for chasing Hottie Chivette-Ass all around the office…

  • Anonymous

    How comfortable are you guys with intermittent masturbation?

  • Blindsided5

    Now I wish I would've studied marketing in college.

  • HHHmmmm

    Wait a minute. So you want more people to be denied products because they are sold out?

    • MonkeyMadness

      Amen! lol

  • :-D

    -Drinking at work is not frowned upon

    FML I need a new job

    • questionmonkey

      FAKE BEER!!! its just to make your job seem even shitter

  • Catalystika

    From all the pictures I've seen of you guys at work (or whatever it is you guys call it), any position there looks like it would be a blast.

  • TBOB

    As Marketing Manager of I would keep all shirts in stock. As a result of my "managing" you will make a sh!t ton of cash. Thank you. When shall I start?

    • bob lee swagger

      Hire This man. Hire him now. I want a goddamned shirt already.

  • mattythegooch

    Hmmmmm, currently marketing exec in Az…..might I be able to "tele-commute"?

    • Jason Ciotti

      If its permanent, its probably worth moving….

    • questionmonkey

      $65k a week u should be thankful its not a quarter now get the job gooch …go …fly ….u can just do …it (nike)< i used to work for nike.

      • Wow...


  • Tillman

    To Whomever the lucky person is who gets this job: First thing you do to ensure your success is say,
    "John, we need to get additional vendors to produce Chive t-shirts. The more we sell, the more free marketing we get. We don't have enough to sell, so get on the stick. Sir."

    • Owen Smithers

      Scarcity of the t-shirts increases the perceived value and the demand….and the hits on to check and see if there are more shirts available. They ain't so dumb… They need someone to manage that demand vs. availability thing.

      -resume available upon request.

      • ROK247

        no, it's dumb. logo shirts out in the wild drive traffic directly to the website. advertisers want new users, not the same people checking to see if there are shirts in. this site has people literally begging to pay them to do their advertising for free.

        • MonkeyMadness

          It's simple logic, the more people wearing t-shirts increases awareness.
          1. Keep your loyal Chivers happy by providing enough t-shirts
          2. Average Joe sees t-shirt, goes to site.

          How many other sites do you see with awesome t-shirts that everyone wants?

      • Tillman

        Well, I'm aware of that and it's a good point. But if customers have to wait too long they will move onto something else eventually. Granted, there's only one, but even if they just doubled their orders it would show appreciation to the people who keep this thing going. In my opinion. Feel free to think differently.

  • JT Mo-Nay

    I'm almost crying, because as a graphic designer working a dead end cubicle monkey design job in New Jersey working the same job for the last 4 years with no pay increases and no chance of promotion despite stellar designs and rave performance reviews, I would fly to California, then cut myself and jump into a pool of hungry bull sharks for the entertainment of the boss just for the chance to INTERVIEW for this position.

    I salute the future chosen candidate. Live the dream.

    • abc

      Send a res and get on it man. Dreams come true only if you take a chance.

  • Roman Polanski

    I play a mean game of Pinochle, but my friends complain of my 'halitosis'. I don't have hammer toes.

  • James

    I dont understand why you would want to expand advertising when you cant keep more than 2 shirts on order at any given time…

    • Flame

      Marketing is not just Ads xD

  • Dick Salad

    This honestly looks like an ideal job for someone fresh out of school. Seems cool but not enough money imho.

  • Intensemasterdebater

    A.B.M. A-always, B-Be, M-marketing….always be marketing and coffee is for marketers

  • Cali

    If there was an overabundance of these shirts they would get played out. Selling out keeps everyone coming back for more. Stocking more shirts is not the answer.

    • izak

      exactly, thats part of the fun, chasing the golden unicorn. its like getting tickets to a sold out event. These guys are not in it for the money, they are in it for the fun of expanding a "brand" by grabbing loyal customers and followers

  • Last1picked

    Would be a great, low-paying job. Shit…I'd take it.

  • ddd

    At least there's no pressure to write well…

    "at of our Venice…"

    • ddd

      change made…let me know if you're looking for an editor.

      • James E Lawrence

        I liked the post with incorrect grammar it had character now it just makes me sad 😦

  • sshuggi

    I think the main reason theChive isn't selling many shirts it to prevent them from inundating the world with its awesomeness and then fizzling out quick. I know it sounds a bit hipster-esque, but I don't think their business sense is so bad that they don't know to stock shirts. There's gotta be some other reason at play here.

    • womp

      it makes the shirts a hot commodity rather than a shirt anybody can get easily. that way when they do stock more there is a huge rush to buy them. if you could see a band everyday of the year, you obviously wouldn't go to it everyday but if they only come in town every few months then you try your hardest to go

  • Cali

    Dear Chive

    Your gonna play the original KC&CO shirt out. Create limited runs of seasonal apparel. Mix it up with different colors. White shirt green lettering, black shirt green lettering etc. Hoodies!! My advice is free today. Hit me up I’ll come make u money this is what I do

    • James E Lawrence

      Looks up "Cali" in phone book… nope cant reach this person since they left no way to reach them whatsoever… next candidate.

      • Cali

        They got my email. Im not pursuing this job, doesn’t pay enough. $65k in LA WTF does that get u. A nice bike to ride to work from a studio apartment.

    • Ken

      You silly bastard! If you want a job, you hit "them" up… not the other way around! DB!

    • questionmonkey

      just use different colours chive and blue t-shirts ladys love blue….ok send the check

  • Nepotism

    Why don't you just hire your uncle. *Cough* Nepotism *Cough*

  • @ADavis41

    We know what happened last time they required transportation and photoshop skills from the same individual applying for a job. 45k-65k a year in LA and commute, that's like $10 an hour? Gotta love the 5% commission carrot dangle also.
    Drinking at work is a requirement at these rates.

  • Negron

    Their marketing is genius already. Supply and demand at the very core of it. If they constantly had Bill fucking Murray shirts available and for sale, would any of us rush to buy one immediately? Nope, instead they dole them out in small amounts, having us scrambling for our wallets. And yes I'm a sucker who fell for it and I'll be expecting Mr. Bill Fucking Murray anyday in my mailbox now.

  • questionmonkey

    yeah ok chive when …do i start… pay'd in hump pics u say hmmm …. great…… empty toilet tissue cardboard thingys to make gloves….super….. this could be the job i;ve always hoped for and MOR!!!!!!!

    • questionmonkey


  • questionmonkey

    hay chive can i live at chive? i promise i wont fapp to unseen hump day pics? when i get the job i mean.

  • SkyVader

    Why, did Paula quit?

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