• Dan

    Nobody ever pays me in gum 😦

  • Jon

    I would give up my engineering profession in a heartbeat for this job

  • iknow


  • Joey

    Saying car ownership is required will get you in trouble. It tends to discriminate against minorities.

    • devnull

      Haha. Awesome!
      The chive hates black people.

  • Paula_

    No, but damn! John hasn't even replied to my e-mail in which I'm applying for the position of Court Jester.

    – the one you love to hate

    • Stan_Dalone

      they are interessted in people not trolls

      • FuckoffStan

        Are you kiddin me dumbass? Im pretty sure theyd want a troll that draws attention to their site alot more than they want a fucking moron who draws nothing but ire.

        Look at it this way dumbass – youre both trolls but at least Paula has some followers. You? Absolutely none

  • questionmonkey

    wot if i dont want to do this for a job ?

  • drew

    why don't you keep the shelves stocked before you market anything

  • Natalie Juanarena

    Any other openings? I'm a poor Chivette that chives all day (between job applications). C'mon…help a girl out.

    • Dick Salad

      Instead of asking for a handout why not market yourself and present your own skills to the chive? What do you have to bring to the table that would make you a worthwhile employee?

      And kids these days wonder why they can't find a good job or make enough money…

  • NYR144

    Come to New York

  • The Final Countdown: Lame-ish Halloween Costumes, Three Stooges and Nintendo’s First Ever Loss |

    […] Need a marketing job? Work for TheChive – [TheChive] […]

  • J.D.

    I want to live the dream. So… I applied!

  • Johnny Bloom

    Marketing is just Alcohol and Guessing

  • JebusLawl

    i have no idea what marketing is either but for the love of jebus hire me. i will move out there.

  • Sergio Pendejo

    Too all poo-poos out there complaining about t-shirts out of stock, save it. The reason they are out of stock, is because the fucks in the head-office release them in small runs to keep having you come back to their site. We call that brand exclusivity. They have convinced you mopes that their shirts will get you laid, make you popular, and you'll be getting "chive ons!" from random hot strange. They now there is demand, they know they can sell more shirts. Wouldn't they be able to order more shirts if they wanted to make money off the freaking shirts? Guess what, there's a country the size of continent that does nothing but make cheap garment products. But the chive is not in the business of selling shirts, they're in the business of generating ad revenue. That's why they do small t-shirt releases. Anyway, fuck it, chive on.

    • paula_pissflap

      soo who took a shit in your mouth

  • devnull

    The beginning of the end. When you think it's time to hire more marketing personnel, you should stop and re-evaluate because that means your base (the visitors who gave you success) are no longer interested and have moved on to whatever the new hotness is because you fucked up somewhere. Brute forcing your shit doesn't create revenue – it just makes people think "Well, they sold out. I'm done."
    Fuck your shady background click ads.

  • angella

    When are you hiring a PR manager???

  • jessedictor

    If I lie on my resume, does it count as marketing experience?

  • Romy

    sigh, if only you would accept a marketing graduate in Australia!

  • Daniel Solis

    why do you need to sell more if you can hardly have tees in store??

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