I’m told this is NOT how to jumpstart a car (17 Photos)

  • kaidoh101

    holy crap

    • Logic

      And this is why she should stay in the kitchen and away from your engine

    • Jay

      was probably a woman…reason #678204 why women shouldn't leave the kitchen 🙂

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1440566705 Taylor Murphy

    wow… just wow. how someone could screw up that royally i will never know.

    • http://www.facebook.com/FlibseyEmma Emma Oliver

      I agree… how do you manage this?

      • A BiPolar Guy

        Reverse the polarity, like the mans says. Connect neg to pos, instead of neg to neg. You now have a short circuit, rapid heating of cable and battery, engine can catch fire.

        • JAFitC

          You have a particularly apt moniker for the point you made. Well played, sir, well played.

    • StaticFX

      considering that not only are the jumper cables COLOR CODED… the car batteries themselves also have + / – red/black on them as well…. im thinking it had to be a blonde

    • Darklumpia

      the only way I can think of this happening is they bought a cheap pair of cables from walmart or dollar tree and the cables could not stand the curent and caught fire.

      • Smitty

        Nah, it's kinda hard to screw up making jumper cables. They're only two pieces of wire and four alligator clips. Mine are from Wally World and I've had them for 12+ years, through five different cars. ALL of which needed a jump and had given a jump at one time or another, NONE of which caught fire this spectacularly.

        If you cross the wires, you get total photonic reversal and you explode at the speed of light.

    • DoomsDayDub

      Even hooked up wrong it would take little while to get to destruction level. They must have hooked them up and went inside to wait for the one car to get charged up. Obviously, that decision didn't work out so well.

      • Jay

        Yeah. Besides, who does straight pos-pos/neg-neg. I've always used some metal on the car for the neg terminal of the car getting jumped. Usually an engine hoist point or such. If the battery really is dead (i.e., can't take a charge), the last thing I want to do is put a ton of power to it directly.

    • rabble

      Most newer model vehicles also have a large fuse that will blow to prevent this from happening, fuse can be replaced for about $5.

  • blub_glub

    what. the. FUCK!?! i hope they're all ok ….

    • Jason

      uh… this didn't happen instantaneously… it started a small fire in the engine compartment and then went from there.

  • Still_Counts

    Sorry but this is just an uber Fail!

    • fritz müller

      you mean "über" fail… thanks to my swiss keyboard!

  • steve-o

    well, there's your problem!

  • Andrew

    you're doing it wrong.

  • guest

    one picture would have been enough…

    • Lev

      And part of a randomness collection, perhaps with a caption.

  • http://drumusicloudsounds.tumblr.com/ drummer113

    How do people not know this?

    • mntbikersid

      you are forgetting that most people are morons…

  • manchakattack

    They must have been women.

    • Chiver

      why weren't they in the kitchen?

      • DemBewbs

        Uh, cause they couldn't get the car started on the way home from the grocery store, obviously.

    • Bubba

      They probably still are!

    • Kenny

      HAHA.. I was thinking the exact same thing when I saw these!

    • chivette

      some women know how to jump start a car better than men. I used to work at a kids camp and there was at least 5 times where I had to jump start guys cars and they all hooked the jumper cables to metal parts of their car instead of the battery. One guy connected them to his engine.

      • TitoRigatoni

        That is the correct way to do it. The negative cable should be connected to a ground point (i.e. the engine) of the car being jumped, NOT to the battery.

    • Jessica

      You realize you ARE a woman, right? None of the guys here think you're any cooler for saying what they were all thinking… but way to play into their sexist notions. I don't care if I get thumbs down for this… but realize you are pandering to the same guys who would comment "WHORE ON" if you were to submit pics.

      • https://www.facebook.com/katelyn.manchak Katelyn Manchak

        Chill dude. I thought it was funny. And apparently so did 117 people. 🙂
        See, I could care less about cars, I'll let men handle it, otherwise i'd probably end up in the same situation as these people with these cars.

        And ps. I do submit pics. Not once have I been called a whore. They just help feed into my ego, lmao.

        Stop bitching and come help me with these sandwiches.

        • greg

          you are AWESOME!

        • Triceranuts

          i second that, you my dear are awesome

        • James

          You must be pretty insecure with your 'look at me boys! im cool! see! look! love me like my daddy wouldnt!'

      • Harry

        Good call

    • Tom

      Yeah bagging on your own sex is a bit of a turn off aye, bit a skank move

  • EZRA2

    I bet thats the last time they leave their light on

  • Myself

    Didn't Ghostbusters teach us anything?

    NEVER cross the beams!

    • Chiver

      never cross the streams….not beams it's streams.

    • Anon

      That is SO funny. I was JUST thinking the exact same thing "don't cross the streams". Good one!

  • mooseknuckle907

    2 less idiots on the road

  • calm

    Actually, you are supposed to ground one of the black cables on the frame of the car with the dead battery. Red to red on both cars, black to black on the good battery, the other black to ground.

    • CNG

      It doesnt matter if its on the negative terminal or the chassis of the car.

      • Bubba

        That's correct sir!

        • alexISU

          Its put on the chassis to keep it away from the battery gasses that are released during recharge so this kind of shit doesnt happen

          • A BiPolar Guy

            It's a fairly low risk to but the battery does give off hydrogen gas which is highly flammable. But it disperses rapidly when you open the hood. Experts do caution not to connect direct to the battery for the second negative. But they usually advise the engine block away from the batter, not the frame. You do want to complete the circuit not ground. The rubber tires actually prevent any real grounding anyway

            • A BiPolar Guy

              meant to add here's the car talk guys detailed instructions http://www.cartalk.com/content/features/roadside/

              • TomTheCameraGuy

                Good interneting, sir

            • Kevin

              Frame is negative! if you look at the battery it connects negative straight to the frame…
              (Electrical Engineer)

              • LuvH8fulChix

                Yes, that's why you can use it to increase separation between the clips that tend to jump off and short together.

                (More Experienced Electrical Engineer)

                • CNG

                  So you are saying its only better to go to chassis to avoid retards fucking up while using alligator clamps? Rubbish, you can put them wherever you want. I always prefer a direct connection to the terminal. Like bipolar guy said, if you are deciding not to connect to the negative terminal you should connect to the engine block, not the frame. The frame often has a lot of gunk/paint on it and can more often than not be a shitty connection unless you dig the teeth in.
                  (Qualified electrician and car mechanic)

            • calm

              That actually makes a lot of sense, thanks.

      • AveSharia

        In practice, I'm never able to jump my car with the last black to the engine block. Plus, I like fire, so…

        • pjsupremex

          that is because you are more than likely using a portion of the engine block that is painted or powder coated. next time look for a bare metal potion on the block, you will get a different outcome.

          • Jay

            Usually you'll find a hoist/ring on the top side of the engine used to lift the motor out of the car if you're changing engines, etc. That's a strong piece of steel that's usually bolted to the block or the head (if it's not an aluminum head). Sometimes if it's painted, scratch the teeth of the jumper cable to make good contact. Even if it's unpainted, rust, residue, dirt, etc can build up and prevent current from passing through. Especially considering most jumper cables only give you about 10 or so actual contact points and maybe 3 or 4 are actually in contact.

            Never connect it to anything on the exhaust system, despite it working, it heats the cables if the car is still warm. If you properly jump a car, it should turn over almost instantly. No need to 'charge'.

    • Bryan410

      doesn't make one ounce of difference.

    • Skeith5

      you are correct sir!

    • mtn_viking

      That's not the problem here. One they reversed the polarity on one end. Black to black, red to red on one end, black to red and red to black on the other.

    • Michael

      You're correct and I have no idea why people without a clue continue to buy jumper cables.

    • Dan in Jersey

      i agree 100%, positive to positive, good battery ground to frame of dead car

    • http://thechive.com LukeTheTerrible

      I'm really late catching this thread, but I had to put in my bit. ALWAYS make that last connection to some point on the car that is attached to negative, but NOT to the battery post itself. My father was a truck driver for 18 years and a mechanic during most of that time, and always connected to the posts, never thought anything about it. One winter day his car wouldn't start in the grocery store parking lot because, yes, he left the lights on. Got a jump from a friendly co-shopper. Dad always had his own cables, goes to hook it all up, touches the clamp to the negative terminal on his own car, and the BATTERY EXPLODED. I kid you not. Luckily, nobody else was injured, and no major big pieces of flying battery hit my dad (miraculously). But BATTERY ACID sprayed all over his face and body. Also luckily the guy who was giving him a jump kept his shit together to get my dad into the store where a fast-thinking pharmacist managed to grab a box of baking soda and apply it generously to my dad's eyes – all within a couple of minutes – and saved his sight. He had burns over every exposed part, which was just his head and hands, since it was winter and he had a coat on. Ruined his clothes and paint of both vehicles. Could have killed him. I have been trained as a master electrician and those who are saying "makes absolutely no difference" where you hook the clamp, are absolutely correct, electrically speaking. But the danger from leaking hydrogen gas from a battery is very real. It took a long time and countless connections for the odds to catch up with my dad. It could happen the very first time with you. DO NOT TRUST BATTERIES. They are bombs if not respected.

  • http://darthsamuel.wordpress.com darthsamuel

    Hahaha dam if a man was involved they should kick his ass

  • Trentie

    Ricer fail.

    • Alan Garner

      what's a ricer?

  • http://www.facebook.com/karimhamza342 Karim Hamza

    so who's insurance pays for this lol

    • Claims Adjuster

      No ones!

  • Ask Jeeves bitch!

    good! both these cars should have been clunkers!

  • Yogi2200

    Fake, that looks more like a petrol bomb, there's only acid in car batteries IF that exploded it wouldnt look like that, worse case scenario, you have two dead batteries, so fake

    • Jeff

      everything is fake to you, if you look outside the window you'd probably claim that it was fake because the sky isn't that blue.

    • Bubba

      Dunno what exactly, but the battery in the red car is intact w/ cables attached #7

      • batt-man

        cables overheated

      • ChaseTheWalker

        It's cause the silver one caught fire which in turn melted the front end off the red one. Do you know anything about fire? Haven't you seen Backdraft?

    • daroofa

      Your lack of knowledge about cars could fill volumes.

    • Meh


      • Stan_Dalone


    • http://www.facebook.com/WombatFire Southern Discomfort

      WRONG! Electrical fires are fuckn nasty, and will melt your shit down!. Every wire in the car will lite up! Sucks, when i got my coupe it had original frail wires was a nightmare.

    • http://www.facebook.com/khimaros Anthony Burton

      Agreed, this is fake, I did this on an '89 Miata that didn't have labels on either battery terminal and all it did was blow a £5 fuse.

      • Fuck yourself

        Some of you fucks amaze me. So these two guys set their cars on fire and then put jumper cables there to fool people on the internets? This shit happens,its why there are rules to jumping a car. Hydrogen gas can build up and be released as well as cables overheating. Your miata didnt catch fire because the battery is smaller then your dick.

        • Deb

          Your miata didnt catch fire because the battery is smaller then your dick.

          Hahahaha That sir made me spill my coffee

        • Darkside

          Wrong. It was women.

      • Dick_Hammer

        Everything about your statement screams "I'm a fucking moron"

        Thanks for sharing though…..moron.

  • Chiver

    well the red car at least looks slightly repairable.

    • A BiPolar Guy

      you can but new engine, fenders, hood, etc etc, but it's way past totaled. Cheaper to just buy a used one of same model and year

  • real talk

    can we get a picture of the chick? wondering if she was hot enough to be worth it..

    • ChaseTheWalker

      Nope…. She's in #6

  • John


    'Don't worry guys, my monster's ok!'

    • Anon

      Monster Energy Drink™ makes jump starting cars more EXTREMEEEE!!!!

    • Dr_StrangePants

      mmmm…that new smoky plastic and gasoline taste probably isn't any less healthy for you then the regular tall boys anyway.

  • Smoores

    Remember kids, Black is positive, and Red is Negative.

  • Dave

    Rich boys without a clue. And not all positive terminals are red but……. the positive post on the battery is always smaller, if you have side mounts…… well the battery has a little + icon on the positive side a – icon on the negative side but there are those that just shouldnt open a hood,

    • pjsupremex

      usually the rich boys arent driving around in an old ass VW jetta and a Jeep patriot

    • PubicJones

      I fucked your sister. She was decent.

    • inate8

      Negative post is the smaller one. Get it right.

  • Guest

    I remember seeing this on Reddit!

    • Leonel_LyL

      Everything on theChive is on Reddit at least a day before…. Makes me wonder.

  • Anonymous

    It seems that battery companies haven’t quite made this process idiot proof with the + and – symbols as well as the red/black color coating.

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