I do what I want (25 Photos)

Do you do what you want? Send in your pictures to mactheintern [at] gmail [dot] com. Or don’t, whatever.

  • mr1burns


    • jeff

      should have just names yourself thumbmethefuckdown

  • Unfkngblvbl


    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=606371253 Shannon Coverdale

      The idiots that go to the express lane with a full cart piss me off worse

      • http://www.tube8.com SimonPhoenix

        It's NOT a full cart . .BUT YES .. it is ABSOLUTELY frustrating.

    • Underbaker

      Someone actually counting the items in her cart in 3, 2, …

      • qwerty

        you dont do it? isnt it normal?

        • Underbaker

          I admit I do it and I wish I didn't because it just frustrates me when they are over because if I say anything I am suddenly the bad guy. But this comment was referring to another chiver/chivette of actually checking the picture for accuracy of the count stated.

    • DoomsDayDub

      I don't care if you are like within 5 items or so, but I always want to pimp slat the mess out of people with a full cart. When I was a young cashier I would have told them to go to another lane. Employees need to speak up about the rules more. Same issue when employees see people blatantly cut in line, call them out. I already do it myself, but prefer to not have to look like the angry guy at the store.

    • Johnny Two Toes

      Except she's not in the 15 items or less lane, she's in the one next to it.

      • JHL1

        Pretty presumptuous of you since the Lane 2 sign isn't visible.

    • Aaron

      do you count two tubs of the same item as one (same product) or two; and if two what about if she buys grapes?? hmm….dilemma….

    • Matt

      15 items or fewer! Grammar nazi out!

    • matt

      the computers at the grocery store in NE stop ringing up at 12 items. You can have more but they make you go to the end of the line

    • Meh

      She is the worst kind of monster! Well, her and Sandusky.

    • http://www.Jackelmoto.com Jackelone

      Sometimes the other normal lane has tons of people with massive carts, sorry I am going to go to the "express" lane, so F you guys!

    • @myawfulroommate

      Whatever, any cashier can scan shit fast. What they really should have for express lanes are people that aren't using cash, checks, coupons, or god forbid WIC. When I was a cashier in high school it was always faster if somebody was paying with a credit card even if they had like 30 items than dealing with some lady with 5 things and 4 coupons who will then write a check.

  • yup

    It is now

    • CuriousGeorge

      What is it supposed to be then?

    • http://thechive.com/ GernBlansten

      Everyone hates a uni-tasker….

      • DrROBOTO

        a fence maybe? I wondered the same thing…

  • Unfkngblvbl

    wasted stamp…dumbass

    • 'laskan

      Pffft, he don't care! He does what he wants!!

      • tapsnapornap

        …He's 8 years old, and if he wants to fingerpaint, HE'S GONNA FINGERPAINT!!!! (Or waste a stamp in this case…)

  • Ally

    #1 – why this guy can have nice things?

    • A BiPolar Guy

      Lose silly contest, get free pie. WIN.

    • Observant

      To be fair, looking at the empty plates, he's keeping up.

      • Not that Observant

        Those aren't empty plates, those are the plastic pie covers. Though I suppose he is keeping up if you were implying that all of the contestants are on their first pie.

        • laugher


    • Modern Jar

      Can't use your hands to eat. Clever….and free pie.

  • chicago

    #22 What a Cunt.

  • jukebox

    #14 Seems Legit

    • Brutal Deluxe

      Stairway part of the way to heaven?

    • Underbaker

      The new Stealth Fighter.

    • cowles

      no stairway….denied

  • The_Stif

    #3 Didn't know hobos could make use of pine cones

    • Big Los

      They make good Party Liquor.

      • The_Stif

        Really? Interesting.

    • bubblerider86

      i don't know why anybody needs to steal pinecones, but obviously that isn't the first time…..curious, very curious.

      • A BiPolar Guy

        they take them for use in fall decorations, as cheap souvenirs, just for the heck of it, or because they're kids and think they are neat. I still think they are neat, but I have my own tree.
        Of course if everybody takes stuff from the park… you know the drill

      • JHL1

        I like your pic because boobs (and hips and waist)

        • JHL1

          That was for bubblerider86 in case you had any doubt.

    • Floyd

      Lol @ acid wash jeans

  • SweetAwesomeness


    stupid bear can't read signs….

    • A BiPolar Guy

      Bear can read sign, but bear is a rebel. Looking for trouble. Gangsta Bear

      • tapsnapornap

        He does what he wants?

  • http://www.facebook.com/sean.bessey Sean Bessey

    Just some shameless self promotion, because ID O WHAT I WANT! 🙂 Go take a listen!

    • mmmhmmm

      i dont listen to mormons.

      • UTES

        OK i'm catholic and live in Utah. Why does everyone ALWAYS assume just because someone is from Utah their Mormon???

        • http://www.facebook.com/sean.bessey Sean Bessey

          Because they are idiots. Its the same people that don't capitalize "I" when they type it.

          • Bob Lawblob

            Speaking of idiots, you forgot an ' in it's, and you put your i and d together.

        • the other Jen

          bc its godamn funny!

    • http://thechive.com/ GernBlansten

      2 Things:

      1) Buy some underwear that gives you some…room. It is pretty apparent what you are currently wearing is too tight.

      2) Life is depressing enough without more emo-acoustic wrist slitting serenades.

      I gave you a thumbs up though for having the balls to post it.

      • http://www.facebook.com/sean.bessey Sean Bessey

        5 Things:

        1) Quit looking at my underwear.
        2) Go fuck yourself.
        3) My life is fantastic, sorry yours is depressing. But I guess this is the kind of bullshit comment I would expect from someone with a shitty life.
        4)Thanks for the thumbs up.
        5) CHIVE ON!

  • Paper Chase

    #24 HaHa! I'm a college instructor, I require scantrons for exams. Any student who wants to eff the scantron will be handed the evil essay make-up test and told to Keep Calm and Chive On!

    • college student

      Don't scantron readers recognize blue and black pen for answers anyways?

      • Mmm_Ciao

        Mostly just black pen ink, blue ink doesn't work very well. However, it's safer to just stick with a #2 pencil.

        • SpacemanSpiff

          the pencil police is watching u 😀

    • Sean

      I'm a retired college prof. if they filled the scantron out in pen, despite verbal and written warnings, the scantron cannot read or see the answers and so scores them all wrong. The result is on that part of the exam they score zero. It never happens with the same student twice.

      Chive on

  • Takingbackcider

    #3 Not to be mistaken for bear shit.

  • Colleen

    hmmm #8 Keene NH??

    • etcrr

      yes, Keene cause it is a one way street and people drive like mainiacs and getting hit by a car is way too easy there

  • http://gravatar.com/nbree Anonymous

    #10 Makes me laugh every time I see it.

  • goodnuf

    #21 JoePa? What too soon?

    • Rrrrandy

      this is the internet, it's never too soon

  • greg

    #13 i bet mr. badass here is sitting on the ledge after business hours

    • Nah

      Yup, on a Sunday! Wonder if he's going to give my little sister her sun glasses back?!

      • GuyOnLedge

        Doesn't matter, had sits.

    • janet

      This is in downtown Iowa City near the University of Iowa campus. I guess the people at this place (a printing company, I believe) got sick of seeing us ragamuffins loafing around while they're at work. Meh. We do what we want.

  • Ling

    #5 miller light doesn't count as alcohol anyways…it's just yellow water.

    • MC Hammer

      Correction: It's piss, which is often confused with yellow water. I'd rather drink water dyed yellow than piss — or Miller Lite.

      • JHL1

        Don't touch that

  • MrAliasMan

    #2 What do you mean the Mall doesn't have drive-thrus?

  • a_schoenoprasum


    and i was all, "hey free pie, don't mind if i do. no need to be in a hurry y'all"

    • Rightclicksaveas

      Dammit I read this in a Cleveland voice …. Racist

      • Daith_Lee

        LOL….don't worry, that doesn't make you racist. You gotta sleep with your sister too.

  • Irishstephen

    #23 Like a BOSS.

  • Coldzilla

    #7 Well then what the hell IS it? o.0

    • Opps


  • blackandblue

    Can't do anything in a public place anymore…When are the "don't breath here" signs coming?

    • blackandblue


    • twolf1975

      They are on backorder with the "Chive" and "Keep Calm" shirts.

  • Mr. B

    #21 Joe Pas on vactation already.______


    Leo and I are currently in New York because we’ve been invited to Ground Zero for the 11-11-11 ceremony tomorrow. We’ll be sure to bring you photos of the event and we’re honored to have this opportunity to remember our fallen Americans. As a result, there won’t be a Sexy Chivers tomorrow, all apologies there.

    I promise to bring you a biggie-sized SC next Friday to restore balance to the force. We’ll have our usual awesome posts and the HQ DAR, Leo is sitting across from me now cooking up a very nice looking Yoga Pants post as we speak.

    Keep Calm. Chive On.

    John n’ Leo


    • Unfkngblvbl

      dude, there are way better things on the internet to fap too

    • rikooprate

      You're a HUGE douche looking for dark side points, and I refuse to vote at all on this post. GTFO…

    • SpaceCowboy_

      Keep calm and Chive on, man.

    • Sean

      Thank you Chive for displaying such good sense and taste! What you have planned is more important and significant than what is it replacing, regardless of how much of a public service SC is! Chive on from St. John's, Newfoundland, Canada.

  • tara

    #4 im a natural blonde and im sorry to say this could only be the work of my own kind

    • Dorkfish


    • Ally

      The only thing worse would be a natural blond 85 year old asian woman. I think that combo is about as real as manbearpig though…

    • Tommy

      the funny thing is this was my friend and hes a white guy haha

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