That’s one way to land a job (1 HQ Photo)

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One of the better job applications I’ve seen in a while….

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    a lot of work for 6.50 an hour

    • Obama

      6.5/h is better than NO fifty an hour.

    • phdonme

      I commend Five Guys for making a effort to at least hire someone fun…..

    • texasaggie2005

      But a lot less work than signing up for welfare. More power to him for working, instead of sucking at the public teat.

      • H-town

        You probably voted for that prick Perry, didn't you?

        • The Big Machine

          Chive, why can't I 'Like' texasaggie2005's comment more than once? Also, well done to the dude getting a job and not being OWS jerk-off.

          • Tar Tarlton

            Yah, statistically the majority of the OWS jerk offs are full-time employed, and the majority of those that aren't full time employed are part time employed. It's something around 13% of them aren't and the American unemployment rate is somewhere around 9%. But hey, thanks for perpetuating corporate stereotypes.
            I'm with you man, I believe that American political policy should be overwhelmingly influenced by corporate money over democracy.

            • rabble

              I would agree with so much more of what you say if you were not such a cunt. I know ad hominem, but it is the truth.

    • 03_SE_XTERRA

      minimum wage is $7.25 in the United States…go back to Russia you commie!!!

      • Savage

        $8.25 in CA, where i believe this place is located

        • Herp McDerp

          yes because all people that live in CA are saints fans…. hmmmmmmm

        • bixby

          minimum wage is $9.50 in Canada, get your facts straight

          • Pop Tart

            Ya might wanna look that one up bixby…There is no "Canadian minimum wage," it's done by province, and with my magical powers of deduction you are from either; BC, NB, or Sask….

            And to all ya'll bitching about citation, here it is!

        • Anonymous

          Being that he’s a saints fan I ‘ll say its in LA

        • Glenn

          Then why is his Outlook set up for Eastern Standard Time???

        • Theo

          No, I live in cali, I've only seen Five guys on east coast [VA and NY, GA, NC thats it] i don't know if they're in the midwest

      • sdago25

        Nissans suck!

        • Alpha0010

          Good for you? (@sdago25)

    • Craigery

      Writing an email is a lot of work?

    • guest

      just push the button and the robots deliver their usual bullshit

    • Daniel


  • All methed up

    2 bad I can’t read Any of the text becAuse I can no longer make the screen bigger on the mobile site I guess it’s to strong-arm people to buy the app but not gonna happen chive you guys seem very money hungry and petty as of late

    • bMoles

      God people like you suck at life. Its called making money and its the way of the world. If you dont like it then you are more than welcome to fuck off.

      • Smitty

        But, It just isn't fair! This poor F–K–R can afford a monthly phone bill, but can't buy an app to a website! Have some compassion for this dude! He is freezing his a$$ off in some tent in some park in some city for the Occupy cause! He should get a participation award for all his trouble! They are fighting for an internet tax so the government can subsidize Chive for those less fortunate, like this a$$douche!

    • Craigery

      First-world problems.

    • Legitjoe

      Here take some of these > , , , . .

    • asdf

      Guess you should go join the "occupy" folks. Remember, profits are bad bad bad!

      • Smitty

        He IS occupy folks!

    • Nerfherder

      Cocaine and hookers aint cheap bro.

    • okayawesome

      Why would you start an internet company? Hmmm? Why would you… oh, to make a shit ton of money!

    • Jack_LeMac

      it's called a business, they would be crazy to devote the time necessary to keep the site running and constantly adding new content if they weren't getting something out of it

      • The Dude

        Mastadon Kicks Ass!

      • Merde

        That octopus has no friends.

    • Todd McAwesome

      The app is free dick-face.

    • Timothy Wilkes

      Dude. . . It was like $1. You cheap bastard. Then again, I dunno how much meth $1 can buy. . .

    • CactusJack

      yes, heaven forbid they make you shell our a whole $0.99 for the full version of an app they took the time, effort, and expense to design

    • poop face

      I'm with you

  • @MissRachelJane

    Congrats :)

  • KyleGoldstein


  • Chris

    Didn't find it that funny.

    • skittles

      Agreed. He sounds like a dork.

      • thechevron

        agreed, wasn't funny at all.

      • Jack_LeMac

        I was gonna say maybe it was a lady, but he used the phrase "burger man"

    • ssstoopid

      The fact that his unfunniness (is that even close to being a real word) got him a job is really the only funny part.

      • TheGrkMan

        Nope, still not funny.

  • johnny chimpo

    let's face it, we can't all flip burgers

    • cocksucker

      Whoa, you regurgitated a line from his resume. Chimpo gets a banana.

      • Pablo

        Whoa, you don't know the difference between a resume and an e-mail.

        • jimbojones

          You should apply to be his manservant. By employing you, he could save thousands by correcting potentially costly mistakes like this.

  • Ian

    Well deserved. More jobs should be hired on this basis. Personality goes a long way.

    • The Big Machine

      Yeah, thing is though, that people can be personable long enough to get through an interview and still be worthless. It's definitely worth looking over a resume carefully and calling references. Even if it is for a burger joint. Just sayin'.

  • cenzo

    Hmm don’t have to be that funny to work at five guys then

  • b0ils


  • taylor

    that was really funny

  • Michael Price

    Who Dat?……Priceless

  • @Briggy81

    Five Guys is freakin amazing. Love that place. Love them even more now that I know they hire like this.

    • Whiskey Pete


      • @Briggy81

        Negative. In and out sucks. Jack in the crack is better than in and out. I never liked that place. Shitty little burgers and little piss ant fries. People only like that place because of the secret ordering system, which is cool, but it didn't win me over.

        • Smitty

          You guys! All fast food chains suck bacon greese! There are way too many ma and pa shops that run circles around any $7 burger at a fast food joint. Locally we've got Stellas, Tommy Collinas, and Dinkers! So next time your in town for some college baseball check them out! But I'm sure if you look hard enough, there is one in your hood too!

  • transvestite

    gusta pantalone ?????

  • Ass_Face_Fart

    THIS IS FUCKIN' AWESOME! Good job on getting the job and NOT taking welfare .. I sir, will be doing the opposite.

  • lovebeingachivette

    this is hilarious and I love it.

  • TheFlintSkinny

    I was "meh" until I read, "My spaghetti sauce can also double as a fajita mix. Just so you know." I don't know why, but that line got me. I'll take a double bacon cheesburger with lettuce tomatoes, grilled onions, jalepeno peppers, and A1 sauce, please.

    • TheFlintSkinny

      Oh, and some cajun fries.

  • Tom

    spelled balogne wrong

    • Tom

      Ha! So did I. …great times.

    • Chris

      Spell Check this . . . . JACKASS!!

  • Carlos

    I really hope this was at my Five Guys in Baton Rouge seeing that he's a Saints fan and there are no Five Guys in NOLA.

    • Glenn

      Probably not, as the guy's Outlook is set for Eastern Standard Time.

      • Slappy McGee

        His Outlook isn't set in EST, it's the time on the craigslist ad. Learn the game.

    • Scott Stewart

      There is a Five Guys on the Northshore in Covington

  • Matt

    Who cares if it's for a burger flipping job, this guy is the man.

  • Shane


    • ben

      wait for it… keep waiting… i hope you're not lactose intolerant because the next word is dairy

  • @MattMC53

    Thought this was funnier before i saw "WHO DAT"…forever scared by that as a Falcons fan…

  • KyleGamgee

    Doesn't matter. Got job.

  • LOL

    He should walk in during his first day of work dressed like a wigger…That would really blow the owners mind!

  • Yak Surfer

    That's a great line. Had me right there.

  • MacNCheesePro

    You are now part of the 1%

    • Craigery

      5 Guys pays seven-figure salaries?

      • MacNCheesePro

        Yup! But like he said in his email: " we can't all flip burgers"

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