• happily alone

    I used to think I was a bit insane, but then I met . . . EVERY woman I've ever dated…
    — apologies to unknown comedian…

  • User5778

    I love it when my girlfriend calls me while on her Nexus phone to ask me if I'm near a computer and to look up something. Bitch! Your phone is a computer.

    • Andy

      This. Except usually calling while walking and asking for directions to such and such an address.

      • Brian

        Absolutely. My wife loves to call me on her iPhone and ask me for directions…

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001225731219 HellHath NoFury

      So…you choose to be with an idiot. Currently. Knowing she's an idiot.
      *slow clap*

      • User5778

        Idiot in the sense that she doesn't get technology…yep. I'm sure graduating near the top of her class at Boston University would say otherwise. But hey, she's got nice tittaays! mmmmMMMM…

        • HellHath NoFury

          Booksmart people are good, but people who are ONLY booksmart with absolutely zero common sense can make you want to kill yourself if you have to live with them. Believe me.

        • HellHath NoFury

          And 'not getting technology' has nothing to do with that brand of herp-brain, where they're holding their keys and freak the freak out because they can't find them. And yes, I know she does that.

  • Black6dog

    Zach Cregger?? jk

  • Lisa

    This made me laugh so hard. No need to get offended, it's just a joke. And if you're offended it's probably because you just got called out for saying most of this shit yourself.

  • E UU

    That's great!

  • beat rice

    I must not be hanging around with girls then

  • Shelby

    That's hilarious, but unfortunately true. lol

  • radishes

    Yawn. Men are like this!! Women are like this!! Here's a man, dressed as a woman!!! Yay!!! Not funny. Could have been funny, but lacking in funny jokes….

  • http://www.dogsandjeans.com Trooper Thorn

    And "Take these away from me."

  • Ls1raven

    Oh, what about "ugh, I am so fat"……….bitch your a size 0!! Funny Vid.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001225731219 HellHath NoFury

    'I'm an independent woman! I don't need a man! Men are sexist pigs who treat women as objects and belongings! Oh, no, honeybumpkinMcEmasculatingNicknameseypoo, I didn't mean YOU. Now can you do *insert all of the things* for me? I'll give you head later.'

  • listenlady

    This is funny.

  • https://www.facebook.com/Huddo Gavin Hudson

    Nice Chive, but how about putting a source and/or attributing it to the source? I know it's teh interwebs, but I think it's cool to give credit where it's due a bit more. Just sayin'. Anyone else agree Chivers?

    • HellHath NoFury

      I guess the CREDITS weren't enough for some people.

  • anonymous

    This seriously cracks me up! As a girl, I realize I say all of this. Nice video and spot on!

  • Jessica

    This just made my WEEK! I do about 3/4 of this.

  • Anonymous

    This is hilarious and all so true! I’m a chick and I know I do some of that shit, it’s still funny. And I’m glad Juliette can laught at her self too!! She’s my cousin!

  • Toby

    Freaking Awesome!!!

  • nayala

    I'm a girl and the only woman who does all of that to me is my mom…..

  • Collin

    Why, when I see this, do I think of Florence Welsh?

  • DC22

    that will be 10x more when she's pregnant. I'm not even kidding!

  • Scott

    So funny because EVERY woman does one of these things, lol.

  • Thorsten

    my wife is worse… fml

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=537018302 Eric Long

    Omg! Hilarious

  • Doctor_Krieger

    I have to get up at like 6 this morning lolololol

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