Daily Morning Awesomeness (25 Photos)

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  • Holland Oates

    I have a very vague grasp on Slovenian economics.

    • eman

      wtf

    • testudo

      Than you know more than most Slovenian economists

    • trebormints

      Dr Türk why are you calling yourself Holland Oates?

  • http://.z the brandon

    FIRST! Chive on, Playas.

    • brian

      swing and a miss

    • Christy
      • Smitty

        You too. For the broken link you fail.

    • Smitty

      GTFO and take your fail with you.

      • nitroxer

        Get tigers from orangutans?
        I don't know, Orangutans are not the most reputable of sellers, besides they don't have any souls.

  • http://.z the brandon

    Second.

    Dammit.

    • eman

      double fail

  • etcrr

    Aflac giving you money #19 or the perfect pickpocket, you decide

    • willpay4utoleave

      will you go away if we gave you money?

      • mihaisuzuki

        you wish…

    • http://twitter.com/weavty1 @weavty1

      Major medical, boyyyyyy

  • eman

    #2 fuck da police

    • testudo

      o_O

      The turret looks like the one from Panzer III. Nazi WWII tech patrolling Russian streets…..

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=27206114 Михаил Рикэттс

        yup…..PzKpfw III

    • SpacemanSpiff

      In soviet Russia, da police fucks you

    • dcolbert

      What does DPS stand for?

    • nitroxer

      At least take 'da police' on a few dates before you fuck them

    • etcrr

      In Soviet Russia they take the speeding violations very seriously

  • etcrr

    #15 was very lucky to get away with his life

    • izz

      hmm, looks fake.

    • Trent

      You seriously cannot tell that is fake?

      • unreal retardation

        it's stan…come on, trent. i don't know how long you've been here but this guy is pretty unbelievably retarded.

    • A2_tha_MFK

      If its not fake then if it wasn't for the pole, the guy would be history.

    • some-dude

      motorcycles are dangerous…

      • isawoj

        Now that right there is pretty funny. 😀

    • Simon

      This GIF was made out of a Colombian video on youtube.. It's fake but still I think they made a pretty good job, looks very real the first time you watch it..

  • AJay

    daily morning awesomeness always ends up being "late night gallery to look at while eating doritos"

    • Sam

      or directly before or after touching myself

    • The_Dood

      Eating Doritos eh. Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

  • http://www.theChive.com Mack318

    #1 When I grow up, this is all I will do with my glorious life…

  • Art

    #24 Thank you, Chive!! Thank you!!

    • Chris

      What?

      Is 'Merica able to explain itself again to the rest of the world please?

      Again.

      • daveh873

        Google Tim Tebow.

        • Lisa

          All of the following comments set aside…I'm a true Bronco fan. My parents remodeled their kitchen in the 80's. They intentionally chose Bronco Orange formica for the countertops. THAT is how deeply the Blue & Orange goes through my veins.

          I LOVE watching this kid. He's got heart. He just loves the game.

          I have NO IDEA how he's managed to pull off the wins that he has. Seriously. Over-time time & time again? They're just gonna give me a heart attack. But I'll die a VERY HAPPY WOMAN. I hope they play well on Saturday. I don't know if they'll be killed by the Patriots or not. I don't really care, as long as they play well. 🙂

          I love them I love them I love them and I can't wait to see Tebow continue to develop as a player. 😉

    • DaddyD

      Silly Tebow. Everyone knows that Belichick is God.

      • Kodos

        wrong.. God doesn't need videotape.

    • Agnostics rule

      Proof that even if God manifested himself- atheists would never be satisfied nor admit they were wrong.

      • Afghanistan2011

        Wrong. We Atheists believe in scientific evidence. if there was evidence we would go along with it.

        • disappointed dad

          I'll bite. Name what 'scientific' evidence you would require. Be specific, please.

          • It's420Somewhere

            Kind of a dumb question. How about any? No one needs to prove any basic science to an atheist- I'm certain you exist. I'm certain that rain falls from the sky. That granite is hard. So really- how about one goddamn piece of scientific evidence.

            • snotrocket51

              its funny atheist have never been able or will be able to disprove the bible…or God for that matter…its called faith for a reason…. id rather believe in something and there be nothing then to believe in nothing and there be something..if i die believe in God and there isnt a heaven or hell i have lost nothing but if you die and find out there is a heaven or hell youve lost everthing

              • The_Stif

                Scientific proof of a weak mind.

                • yoselahonda

                  Scientific proof of a bigoted mind.

                  • The_Stif

                    I'm a bigot for not wanting to see GOD GOD GOD GOD all over the place? It makes me uncomfortable. Maybe you are a bigot for thinking I need GOD all in my face all the time.

              • cjuncosa

                Disproving something invisible with no tangible influence is impossible. I DARE you to prove there aren't a thousand ninjas in my house right now.

                It really is the most moronic challenge thrown out by the church.

              • smallchinaman

                Well said, but how do I make myself believe something so unfathomable? For the sake of my eternal life I can say I believe, go to Church, etc but the bottom line is I have a tough time believing without some sort of proof. I'd like to believe, if nothing else then for the peace of mind that comes when stairing death in the face, but I just can't do it.

                • The_Stif

                  That is why many believe. to give a meaning to this meaningless thing we do everything. For the fear of, in the end, we are all alone. Church is a comforting device to help people cope.

                  • http://www.myspace.com/theamericanmaniacs BentWrenches

                    You sir are correct,yes.

                  • Lazarus2k

                    And don't forget the church is right there to take your donations.

                    • The Clergy

                      And molest your boys.

              • The J

                Ah, that's not so true, many, many parts of the bible have been proven factually wrong. The faith comes in when you believe it anyway. Two different and contradictory creation stories, hell, it STARTS out with factual errors, continues with pretty much every verifiable fact being wrong (slaves freed from Egypt, those plagues, the birth year of Jesus, on and on and on with errors).

                • The_Stif

                  Before the current revisions, adam was actually created twice. Whats the deal with that?
                  I think the harder thing to do would be to prove the bible right.

                  26And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.

                  27So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.

                  28And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth. Gen. 1 26-28

                  then again after the 7th day

                  5And every plant of the field before it was in the earth, and every herb of the field before it grew: for the LORD God had not caused it to rain upon the earth, and there was not a man to till the ground.

                  6But there went up a mist from the earth, and watered the whole face of the ground.

                  7And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.

              • The_Stif

                Disprove aliens hot shot.

              • 4everDistracted

                If you believe in something just on the off chance there is an after life you are believing for the wrong reason. I would also like to think that if I live a good life and I am a good person it really won't matter what religion I did or did not believe in.

                • the_man

                  Exactly. If anyone preaches anything, preach this.

              • gawdy

                If there is in fact an intelligent god don't you think he would understand people being skeptical? Seriously is what would be the point of giving people zero concrete evidence of your existence?

              • Ima Dick

                I would argue that you would have lost just as much. You would have lived your one and only life for a purpose that has no meaning if there is no God. Whereas I would have lived my life for myself. Furthermore, morality for the sake of the reward of heaven or for fear of punishment is not morality, it is merely a reaction to consequences. A Christian saying they live in a Christian way so they know they will get into heaven is no better than a 5 year old behaving himself the week before Christmas so Santa will bring them more presents.

            • Julien

              wow religion debate on theChive. Scientific evidence only addresses how the universe is not why. Theology is why. Take a logic class and you'll find science is not the only means to true, reason and logic of philosophy is true. Try looking up the Kalam Cosmological Argument, DesCartes Ontological Argument or the argument from free will. Or Donald Pages Teleological Argument. DesCartes only accepted the Law of Non-Contradiction as the only thing he could take by faith (that no two contradicting statements can be true) and yet he came to the conclusion God has to exist. There is evidence and reason to believe.

    • The_Stif

      I wish a hindu was decent at football… Then we could watch them worship Brahma, Shiva, and Vishnu. It is so absurd that people are actually supporting this idiots behavior.

      • cmfp

        Yes, absurd to support someone with a strong moral convictions, who is a good role model for kids, and believes in god. We are way better off with most NFL players who have multiple kids with multiple women, arrested for drug violations, etc. Absurd indeed.

        • Johnny Tyler

          I would say that if he believes in god he is automatically disqualified from being a good role model for kids. A good role model is not weak minded enough to believe something just because his parents do and he has been inculcated by them and society.
          As for the fathering of children with multiple women, I agree with you that if skin on skin contact is truly necessary for one's sexual fulfillment that the mouth and anus should be utilized.

          • Jak

            I'm not religious in the slightest but you sir sound like the biggest moron on the internet. And that is saying something.

        • The_Stif

          I never made a reference either way to players who have multiple children with multiple women either. But not all of them are like that. It's absurd that your represent an organization as a professional and pull antics like he does to keep people riled up. Many athletes are christians, but don't throw it in everyones face. Not every American is christian, and they dont want to see that stuff going on. Most players pray in the locker room, or somewhere by themselves. If you are going to play this game, then play fair.

          • Tuff Guy

            What's your definition of 'antics'? The camera focuses on whatever they want. If you've ever been to an NFL game you'd see that players from both teams pray together before and after games. Tebow isn't the first person to do this. Television singles him out though because they know idiots like you will overreact over a man simply thanking his God…. And he's not throwing anything in anyone's face. You're fucking stupid, dude.

            • Huell

              Liberals and atheists seem to be the one's singling him out. Yet they'll defend a man who spreads his right to be gay everywhere. This is no different. Don't worry about what other people do unless it affects you negatively.

              • Markus

                What liberals are singling him out? And for what? You poor conservatives, always being vilified by those mighty liberals just for loving God.

                By the way, I'm liberal and I believe in God (raised Catholic). Conservatives don't hold the patent on faith.

                No one should say that Tebow shouldn't pray where he wants, that's protected by our Constitution. The same way that two men should be able to marry each other. We all are created equal and should have the same rights.

                • Huell

                  99% of media is liberal. Name one network that hasn't made a big deal out of him praying. I didn't say ALL liberals, but many do pick on him. I haven't met one conservative that has a problem with Tebow. And I'm not saying we're better or make more sense.

                  I wasn't trying to start an argument with you. Calm down.

              • Saveferris

                I support gays, but I don't want to watch them make out at a football game any more than I want to watch teblow pray on the sidelines.

            • The_Stif

              I will agree with you that media plays up stuff more than it should. And as I have said many times, many players pray, but they are discreet. I just think, if you are a professional, you should act like one.

              • Markus

                Well, you're obviously not a professional then.

                People are free to pray wherever they want in this country. So if he wants to pray on the field after a touchdown, that's his right. I'm not sure why you disapprove of it, as it's not really affecting you at all.

                • The_Stif

                  If i pay to go to a game to see performers, I dont think i should be subjected to their beliefs is what i am saying. I think its fair to feel that way. If a devil whorshipping player made some sign after a touch down, christians would get angry. I just want to see the game… not all the extra.

                  • Markus

                    Does he run out to the stands and make you kiss his gold cross chain? How is he subjecting you to his beliefs. They are his beliefs and he's exercising his free speech rights. Are you arguing that Christian prayer shouldn't be covered by the same free speech rights as anything else?

                    And maybe SOME Christians would be angry about that, but I would argue to them the same thing. In the US, the right to do that is protected. I'm sure Tim Tebow has never thought one second about whether "The_Stif" prays or not, so stop making this about yourself.

                    • The_Stif

                      Markus, you win.
                      Now go sacrifice a goat or virgin or whatever it is you guys do. I mean since we are stuck in the 1600's and all.

                    • Love143

                      The mere fact you finish this conversation with this type of comment tells everyone exactly what type of person you are.

                      Make sure next time you attend any sort of sporting event to shut your eyes after every play so you aren't subjected to something a player might do. Aaron Rodgers putting on the discount double check belt really upsets me because I don't like belts and there he is throwing it all in my face when he scores a rushing touchdown like he is the WWF champion or something. Grow some balls baby and deal with the fact that people are different than you, and not just in the religious sense.

                      I don't get mad every time you make an asshole comment in a public commentary box. You are free to write what you want, just as Tebow is allowed to privately drop to one knee and honor something he whole-heartily believes in whenever he feels like it.

                    • The_Stif

                      Please. Tell me what type of person I am.

                    • Juan

                      Discount double check belt comment was gold.

                    • Bluto

                      Why does everyone think the right to free speech is absolute? People misconstrue this right ALL the time. Employers (i.e. football franchises) are free to restrict their employees (i.e. football players) from engaging in unwanted speech as a condition of their employment (i.e. penalties for excessive celebration, etc.). The right is to be free from having the government limit your speech. Corporations and others are more than able to restrict certain speech if they choose to do so. So everybody quit talking about how free speech is such an unlimited right…

                    • http://www.shirleyewejest.blogspot.com Shirley

                      What is this, NPR?

                • Bubba

                  stif is affected. Tebow and his faith is a threat to him and those like him. It is why they constantly try to tear down anyone with morals, faith or decency. Such a sad way to live.

      • Timmy Otoole

        Are you an actual moron, or do you just pretend? I suppose antics like TO, Ochocinco, Stevie Johnson, etc, etc, are OK in your book, but Tebows an 'idiot'?
        Get a fuckin' clue. It's no wonder the world is going to hell in a handbasket because of tools like you.
        For the record, I don't care for the guy (or at least the hype), but I'm not such a narcissist to think his 'antics' are something to consider absurd.

        • The_Stif

          Tools like me? I live a good life with good morals and pass the same to my children. I do not however feel that one person's belief system should be thrown in everyone elses' faces. That is one thing i strongly pass on. Have your opinions and ideals, but you have no right to smear it around. Many atheletes are christian, but do their business behind closed doors. If God has a place in media, so does allah and buddha. Vote me down all you want, but christians are so egotistical.

          • The J

            Aren't you "smearing around" your belief system now?

            • The_Stif

              Paradox. Trying to smear the non smearing campaign. Touche.

              • Sumin' up

                I think the word you are looking for is Hypocrisy

                • The_Stif

                  nah. I made a statement about a hindu player worshipping their gods in the open and was attacked, so then i started the smearing. just retaliation really. In this instance you can either keep quiet or voice your opinion. if you say anything it makes you a hypocrite. So meh. I am over it.

                  • Sumin' Up

                    Actually, it seems you have spent a lot of time spreading your view that Christian's should not spread their view. The best part was when you said "I do not however feel that one person's belief system should be thrown in everyone elses' faces."

                    That was laugh out loud funny.

                    • The_Stif

                      If i am walking into walmart I dont want the god speech. If we start a conversation and are arguing opinions its different. Suppose once I got told i was wrong, I figured I could say how i felt. But my bad. You rule the forums. I accept jesus and tim tebow as my saviors.

                    • Sluttypanda

                      You know what I haven't had in a long time? Donuts. Probably a good thing since they're so unhealthy, but it's been so long I think I need one. Oh and this is the Chive, keep the religious banter away please

          • Markus

            I don't feel that Tebow is throwing anything in anyone's face. Has he come to your house and told you that you should be Christian?

            Just because he feels it's right for him, doesn't mean that he's throwing it in your face.

            • Sumin' Up

              Bastard just knocked on my door, had a big name tag said "Elder Tebow" and asked me if I had a personal relationship with god. Wouldn't you just know it.

      • caleb

        Gotta be honest with you dude, I am with you most of the way but you have to respect a man that stands by his heart. cmfp has a point.

    • Dick Salad

      I'm just glad that God is stopping everything to help a bunch of grown men compete in a sporting event. Do you think he's like, "You know what Tebow, I don't like those pagans on the other team anyways so this ones for you bud!" Ignorant fucking Christians are an embarrassment and God isn't here to help you win football games. Go pray for someone else and stop asking for asinine stuff for yourself. You want to model your religion then do so by setting a good example.

      • ShakeyTheMoyle

        Steelers Fan ^^ haha!

      • Tuff Guy

        Christians don't think God is 'helping' Tebow win football games. If they do, they're idiots. He simply thanks God when he does well. Players were 'Tebowing' LONG before Tebow. Don't hate just because good people like him make people such as yourselves who bash him look like complete morons. If you don't have anything smart to say, why don't you go color or something… I'm a Bears fan and was pissed when we lost a potential playoff bid by losing to the Broncos, but I still respect the hell out of Tebow. He's great for the game and a role model for kids.

        • Huell

          Word, Tuff Guy… Tebow never sold/used drugs, killed dogs or ignored child support payments. Low lifes love to make themselves feel better about themselves by bashing respectful people like Tebow.

        • It's420Somewhere

          I think you misspelled teabagging

        • The_Stif

          Serious question. Why does he thank God? Why not the hours of training and coaching he has had for 20 years. Why not thank his gene pool for good genes. If God allowed him to be good one day and he thanks him for it, why not thank him on days when he plays dismally. I just don't get it. Is god up there just playing with his little ant farm down here. He's like, well I like this guy today, but not the christians on the other team? Not trying to be rude on this one.

          • Tuff Guy

            He thanks God because like most Christians, he believes God deserves the credit/glory over everyone else. I'm sure he has thanked his family and coaches multiple times for helping him, but he also feels God put those people in his life.

            Like I said earlier, I'm a Christian, but I believe God has nothing to do with players performances. And the bible even says God doesn't answer yes to every prayer. Tebow is blessed by God in MANY ways other than on the football field. It's just a game.

          • Markus

            Maybe he is just thanking God for the opportunity to play, for being born into a situation where he could end up in the NFL. Who cares? Why does this bother you so much? What he is saying to God is between him and God, so don't worry about it.

            • The_Stif

              This is at the point of just repeating what has been said.

          • Ima Dick

            @The_Stif As an atheist I totally understand where you are coming from, but please stop. You're making the rest of us look bad. Questioning his reasoning for thanking God for what you and I believe to be genetic gifts is no better than Christians telling us we should give thanks to god not genetics for our own gifts. Those are HIS beliefs, not yours, and whether or not you agree with them you have no right to tell him who or what he should be thanking. I may not share his beliefs but he damn sure has a right to have them.

            • The_Stif

              I have to clear the air here. I never, ever said that he should believe a certain way. Actually, higher up I said everyone should have their beliefs and opinions. My bad if you feel that i tarnished the already taboo label "atheist", but I was not going to sit there and let people bash on me unconflicted. I suppose I did get offended and act childish myself, but I see a whole lot of other people acting like fools as well. Too bad I was one of the few on our side of the fence trying to make a point. I am sorry good sir and big you good day.

              • Ima Dick

                Fair enough, I understand how heated these interweb debates can get, and had I been here earlier I would have gladly supported you. Good day to you too sir.

      • Underbaker

        Why not? From what I learned in the Bible God makes good things happen out of everything and what is good to him is another soul gets to spend eternity with him. So from that perspective would tweaking a football game be out of the question?

      • The J

        Actually, Tebow thanks his god for giving him the talent and blessings required to allow Tebow and his teammates to win the game. He doesn't think his god actually takes a part in the game.

      • Bubba

        You sir are clueless. I guess you must watch too much Ed Smith and Madcow. Tebow is not thanking God for helping him to win a game or that God favors the Broncos. He thanks God that God gave him the ability to play well and the chance to play and thus win.

    • Tebow

      Hey God,
      Me again! Look you and I both know that times are hard right now. I only got $11,000,000 on this contract. Can you believe it? No wait, I know you can't. All the hard work I put forth to better mankind and this is what I get? Seriously though God. I know there are starving children dying in various parts of the world, but could I please have your attention. There we go, thanks! Anyways I know your really concerned about this football game I have coming up. Could you please help us win? I know we are healthy young men but we can't do it without you! Yes, I know there are other Christians on my opponents team, but why help them out? Aren't I the better Christian and don't I deserve it more? Kthx God love you bai! Now excuse me while I go bang this hooker out and by hooker I mean classy white girl who wants to marry me for a chance to be famous.

      • Tuff Guy

        Have your mom go buy you a coloring book. You make no sense and aren't funny at all.

        • The_Stif

          I think he made a good point. Is Tebow doing any missions or anything in the off season? Building churches in Africa maybe?

          • Underbaker

            Pam’s Story

            In a recent email, I read

            about a woman named Pam, who knows the pain of

            considering abortion. More than 24 years ago,

            she and her husband Bob were serving as

            missionaries to the Philippines and praying for

            a fifth child. Pam contracted amoebic dysentery,

            an infection of the intestine caused by a

            parasite found in contaminated food or drink.

            She went into a coma and was treated with strong

            antibiotics before they discovered she was

            pregnant.

            Doctors urged her to

            abort the baby for her own safety and told her

            that the medicines had caused irreversible

            damage to her baby. She refused the abortion and

            cited her Christian faith as the reason for her

            hope that her son would be born without the

            devastating disabilities physicians predicted.

            Pam said the doctors didn't think of it as a

            life, they thought of it as a mass of fetal

            tissue.

            While pregnant, Pam nearly lost

            their baby four times but refused to consider

            abortion. She recalled making a pledge to God

            with her husband: If you will give

            us a son, we’ll name him Timothy and we’ll make

            him a preacher.

            Pam ultimately

            spent the last two months of her pregnancy in

            bed and eventually gave birth to a healthy baby

            boy August 14, 1987. Pam’s youngest son is

            indeed a preacher. He preaches in prisons, makes

            hospital visits, and serves with his father’s

            ministry in the Philippines. He also plays

            football. Pam’s son is Tim Tebow.

            The University of Florida’s star quarterback became

            the first sophomore in history to win college

            football’s highest award, the Heisman Trophy.

            His current role as quarterback of the Denver

            Broncos has provided an incredible platform for

            Christian witness. As a result, he is being

            called The Mile-High Messiah.

            Tim’s notoriety and the family’s inspiring story have

            given Pam numerous opportunities to speak on

            behalf of women’s centers across the country.

            Pam Tebow believes that every little baby you

            save matters. I pray her tribe will increase!

            May the peace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you

            always!

            • The_Stif

              Did anyone see that the hump day post is up?

              • Tuff Guy

                Best Hump Day post ever!

          • Tuff Guy

            Yes. Tebow visits sick children, conducts religious services and donates a lot of time to people in need. He hasn't gotten that big NFL paycheck yet. When he does, I'm sure he'll put a good chunk of it to good use.

            • The_Stif

              If he is then fair enough. I would rather see that. If he is doing kind "christian"-like things, show me all that shit you want. It is especially awesome if he is out making kids' days. I'm agnostic, but i donate my time to salvation army and a paper the community thing in my town. I guess those are "christian" acts, but i'm not one.

              • Tuff Guy

                Good for you. Sorry for calling you an idiot. I'm just tired of people bashing something I consider positive…. And if it was a terrorist praising Allah after scoring a TD, I honestly wouldn't care.

                • The_Stif

                  agreed. But not all people that praise allah are terrorists. I grew up with a buddhist, and he was more white than myself. Very normal caucasian guy, just a buddhist. But I get what you are saying. What hurts his case is people that take it way over the top. My wife is very very very devout. She goes on about how Tebow is such an inspiration, but how wrong it is for jews and agnostics to want christmas out of public schooling. It just goes both ways.

          • Philip J. Fry

            Yes. He goes on mission trips every year. His parents are missionaries. He has said a number of times that he knows God has better things to do than care about the outcome of a football game. Cut the guy some slack. He is a good football player (not quarterback).

            • The_Stif

              I don't think its Tebow that we dont like. well people dont like him, but whatever. I just think it's the way he is portrayed. All we get to see is the pomp and circumstance, and not him just out being a good person. He does sometimes set himself up to look self righteous, but the media doesnt help.

              • Markus

                True Christians don't run around declaring to the world what charity work they have done. True charity is kept to yourself, or else it is no longer solely charity. Proclaiming it to the world is self-serving. The Bible explicitly expresses this.

                • Green Mountain Bot

                  It also says – in fact, Jesus himself says – to not pray in view of others, but rather in your room with the door closed.

          • The Real World

            I've read several stories about Tebow's participation in outreach programs for disenfranchised children and prison inmates. Even if you removed the religious part of his message(s), the intent would still be self improvement on whatever level possible. Is there anything negative about that? I think not. Others in this thread have said it, but it's worth repeating. There are many examples of athletes that demonstrate poor judgment, and would be poor role models. Tebow is one of the few that does not fall into that category.

            • The_Stif

              100% agree. If he is out and making a contribution, then awesome. That's what this whole thing is about right? finding a way to make it through to the end without blowing each other up.

      • The J

        Did you know he gave away his whole signing bonus (2.6MM if I remember) to charity? Gotta fact check before ranting, otherwise you come across as childish.

    • Lefty8

      TEBOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!

    • jphilli

      Almost everyone hates how a Jehovah's Witness comes to your door and preaches their beliefs on you, but when a Christian does it on a national stage, it is all fine and dandy. It gets annoying how a man believes a gracious God is helping the Denver Broncos win football games, yet people starve to death or die from cancer. Let alone he is an awful excuse for a QB in the NFL.

      • The_Stif

        Well placed for how I personally feel about things, even though i know now that what I feel doesnt matter. This is all that I was trying to say all along, but it looks like you are a better orator jphilli. Well put sir.

        • Pants

          Goddamn, I knew this would cause an argument but 80 fuckin relplies?

          • The_Stif

            It's been a fun ride.

      • Tuff Guy

        When has Tebow said God is helping win games? Comparing him to a Jehovah's Witness is just stupid. Has Tebow ever knocked on your door? When Tebow drops to a knee and prays, it's between him and God, not anyone else. It's not his fault the camera follows him. And it's not his fault he's the first player reporters interview after games. Like Markus said, turn off your fucking tv if it pisses you off that much.

      • Huell

        @jphilli- He's an awful QB? Have you watched any games this season? He THREW for more yards against the Steel Curtain than any other QB this year.

    • Lazarus2k

      Well here is proof that once again religion has caused more conflict and strife in this world than anything else.

      Religion is like a penis…
      -Its fine to have one.
      -its fine to be proud of it.
      -But please don't whip it out in public and start waving it around.
      -And PLEASE don't try and shove it down my children's throat!

      • Agnostics rule

        You can substitue Atheism for the word Religion there, and it fits just as well. If you're truly neutral on the subject- I think you'll find atheism shoved at people more than religion. You SEE more examples of religion (churches, signs, etc)… but atheists LOVE to try to belittle those with faith, and go out of their way more often than a Christian will to give you their point of view.

        • agnostic too

          I'd agree. I hear people saying "You Christians are weak-minded morons", etc WAY more often than I hear Christians saying, "Maybe you should follow Jesus". Talk about shoving your belief down someone's throat!?

        • Saveferris

          Bullshit. You may see atheism on internet forums more often than in the real world, but you don't see people getting called out for being christian. I've never been approached by an atheist at my door or in public trying to get me to convert to atheism. Try running for president as an atheist and see how that works out for you

    • Borracho

      And what have we learned today kids?
      That's right, posting religion troll pics is a really fucking bad idea.
      Nobody but a bunch of fools wants to read all the bullshit that follows.
      People have different opinions, so grow up, deal with it, and stop being an asshole.
      Damn, Chive, I expect a lot better from you guys, and so do a few of your famous fans.

    • monkey sampan

      God called. He's got bigger things to deal with than your fucking football game.

  • 041744

    #20 Negotion:

    Man: No
    Woman: Yes

    • Asshole Aplenty

      Thank you Capt Obvious

    • Backslash

      What is a Negotion?

    • nitroxer

      Don't you mean 'negotiation'.

  • aciekay

    #7 like a boss.

    • Ryan

      Would have taken their clothes out, pissed on them, lit them on fire, then gone to 301 and beat their ass.

      • buffalodave10

        Sure You would Keyboard Warrior ^^^^

      • The J

        lol, you a mean one, don't wanna mess with the likes of your imagination!

      • nitroxer

        Watch out guys, we got a badass over here.

      • wantomas

        Might want to light it on fire first, then piss on it. Unless you can piss lighter fluid.

      • Guest

        Might not be the correct apartment number. Might be a cop that lives in 301. Might have trolled your ass.

    • the guy

      till he realizes the asshole's a 6' 8" black guy

    • The_Dood

      I like the way they put it up with a band-aid, and a quite cheerful one at that.

  • ned kelly

    #10 woulda been gold if she had of been going comando

    • etcrr

      nice red panties though

    • Paul

      Then it wouldn't be in Chive, would it? 😦

  • izz

    #27 worst cat ever.

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      They all are.

      Hugs,
      Paula
      – Fan testimonial: "Dear Paula, I love you like a fat kid love cake, like a prostitute loves a john, Like a Emo loves razorblades, Like skinny jeans love lowering peoples chances of having kids, Like a chubby girl loves hohos, like a bulimic loves a good puke, like a warm BJ on a crisp morning, like a woodchuck loves chucking wood if a woodchuck could chuck wood and like a good woman loves a kitchen. Paula, you are the ying to the Chives yang…You complete us <3"

      • Steverino

        That testimonial actually brought a tear to my eye….the glass one.

    • dashete

      Or best rat ever

      • Maddest Bro Around

        Who, Paula?

    • philmeister

      …or best Rat!

    • JackVanElraton

      The rat taking from the cat: Like a boss!

  • Damien

    #3 I'd eat the offspring. Yummy.

    • etcrr

      Porked Beef? of Beefy Pork?

      • BrettDioson

        Obviously from the picture it's "Porked Beef"

      • http://twitter.com/valorikx221 @valorikx221

        "A" for effort

    • testudo

      Yummy … perhaps, but definitely not kosher.

    • Radam3

      1 bacon cheeseburger coming up…

    • eh...

      Filet wrapped bacon????

    • HUH?

      doesnt matter, had sex

  • http://thechive.com/ bkfrijoles

    #18 "Yo dawg, i heard you like swimming pools, so I put a pool in your pool so you can swim while you swim. "

    • Flava flav

      I choked on my drink, good one!!

    • Guest

      Dont pee in the pool in the pool.

  • Dillon

    I always know when I stay up too late when I see the morning posts before i fall asleep…

  • NcouthYouth

    #16 "No one breathe…"

    • The_Stif

      What asshat pulls the move they did at the bottom?

  • Simon

    #23 Just in case you want to know, that's my little pony cosplay. She's cosplaying as Applejack-

    • MJ81

      Still makes me horny

    • fags

      gtfo ponyfag

    • StormChaser

      I doubt it, the sign in the background is Russian. Gotta love Russian girls.

      • Huh...who knew

        well apparently Russians like MLP too.
        what can i say, even an explosion of colorful cartoons still makes me happy.

        • Huh..,Who Knew

          ooops.
          for those who care to skip to the russian, it's about 8 mins 20 secs

    • Steve

      MOAR!

      And where is Harley sneaking off too?

    • Zombie

      Yep, thats Applejack cosplay. And its not too shabby either.

    • Best I Could Do
    • http://twitter.com/LouElHumano @LouElHumano

      **brohoof**

    • LyinKing

      She gets a hoof for the effort. I totally see the apple jack, but i though this was a photobomb by Harley Quinn.

    • Jack D Trigger

      will someone explain to me where the hell all these pony jokes are coming from?

    • JFrost

      Does this mean I'm in to bestiality?

  • Jay T

    #24
    *correction*
    Thank you based god!- Lil B

    • The_Stif

      How come your tim tebow picture isnt getting the love the first one is?

  • MattKL

    #17 Sloths are awesome.

    • OhOkayThen

      and excellent at taking messages

      • Josh Gorter

        You would think that by the time they made it to the phone the person would have hung up. Then again if I knew I was going to be talking to a sloth I would wait for it to answer.

      • disappointed dad

        not if one of them is your kid

  • val

    #7 couldn't do better 😀

  • TheJCup

    #2 Tanks for writing me a ticket instead of blowing me up officer…ehhhhh?

    • Franklin1138

      wakka wakka.

  • denleendeko

    #27
    What a pussy

  • Anonymous

    Never comment but #21 made me laugh soo fuckin hard I had too

  • Aran

    #18 inception

    • stumeister

      hahahaha well play sir

    • ben

      poolception?

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