• Edge

    #22 – "Prounced"??? I don't think that is the English language…

    • dukeofohio

      your lack of ability to infer from context betrays your under 85 iq

    • Sturve

      Aside from that one spelling mistake there also is the inescapable fact that its simply not true.

  • WHO

    i think im talking to myself sometimes

  • nejyarnek

    Cinnamon Toast Crunch, or the end of the world

  • http://marcussam.wordpress.com/ marcussam

    Success is like Shit…U cant stand the smell of only your own…;)

  • dbolusaf

    #34 i feel your pain tom

  • Anjin-San

    #7
    so true

  • Seldi84

    #9 That would be awesome to say to someone, congratulations, it's a velociraptor
    #13 #23 #34 are funny and oh so true.

  • http://thechive.com/ cubanitagirl

    #7 i love chuck norris haha

  • http://thechive.com/ cubanitagirl

    #20 i totally skipped over the number -___-

    • etcrr

      well at least you are honest so I gave you a plus. An honest woman is hard to come by.

      • http://ilovethechive.wordpress.com ilovethechive

        You are so Right! So I gave you a plus

        • http://thechive.com/ cubanitagirl

          thank you . some one gave you a minus so i gave you a plus to take it away:)

      • http://thechive.com/ cubanitagirl

        why thank you :)

  • Stevo

    These were good!

  • abaker

    #22
    there's a christian punk band called Ghoti Hook from the 90's

  • gobias

    I literally face-palmed when I found out the answer to 27.

    • http://ilovethechive.wordpress.com ilovethechive

      Here let me help you out…. #27

  • Master_Rahl

    #1 Maybe it was Tatoo from Fantasy Island? THE PLANE, THE PLANE!

    • GlibTongue

      Why? Since that phrase originated with Superman's beginnings…which happen to be 1932, I'll tell you why.

      1932. Ornithology was probably more prevalent among the American populace due to a lack of crappy reality television, or wait, TV's in general.

      There were also, perhaps, quite a lot less airplanes in the sky in 1932. Whereas now the typical American/person sees a plane and goes 'meh', most people in 1932 would be amazed to see a plane flying overhead.

      1932 – Where people probably had more wonder than cynicism.

  • Benali

    “The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.”
    This Bertrand Russell quote should be theCHIVE's motto.

  • duh_jones

    #37 can you do a whole post of mitch hedberg quotes? that'd be swell!

    • Bob

      Who voted this down? It's a great idea.

      • Guest

        I think it was because of the use of the word "swell" – too old a word maybe?

      • duh_jones

        well whoever it was can suck it

  • screwutoo

    I got one for you: IF YOU KEEP YOUR MOUTH CLOSED, NO ONE WILL KNOW YOUR STUPID. You can use that one, it's good for all kinds of shit.

    • The J

      Apparently, knowing that one doesn't lead to practicing that one, huh?

    • you're

      Learn the difference.

      • screwutoo

        you have proven my point in two short comment.

  • He'sCookinOurGarbage

    27 it is the double the right?

  • Kyle

    #10 Never join. Nonexistent problem.

    • Kip Drordy

      Its cause you have no friends kyle.

  • He'sCookinOurGarbage

    My friend asked if I wanted a frozen banana? I said no, but I wanted a regular banana later…. So yea

    – Mitch hedberg rip

  • http://thechive.com/ bkfrijoles

    #1 seriously whos excited about a bird or a plane

    • The J

      The first guy is excited because he sees something he can't identify "Look, up in the sky!"
      The next guy, feeling that excitement tries to dismiss it "It's a Bird!"
      Another one of the now engaged crowd also tries to dismiss it "It's a plane!"

      Normal crowd dynamics. The only way it is misunderstood is if you force the first guy to make both the look and the bird statement.

  • The J

    #20 Actually it was the error in "Scientists have approved that" statement that made me doubt any number following that would have meaning.

  • http://echogeo.wordpress.com/ echogeo

    #23
    Busted.

  • chris

    Didn’t even realize there was a mistake in # 27 till I read some post saying there was a mistake. Yes, it’s the double “the”. Imma dumbass.

  • Han

    # 36
    was he supposed to leave out the "d" or is he just retarded?

  • http://www.how-i-met-your-mother.nl HIMYM_NLBlog

    #16

    Girls can see boobies all the time they want.
    Being women is not all bad, probably.

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