Daily Morning Awesomeness (25 Photos)

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  • hater

    #22. I'd rather play the game….in the dark.

    • Guest-ee-poo

      weak sauce

      • etcrrr

        weak sauce is trolling by a handle like "guest-ee-poo". you got the "poo" part correct

        • stuf

          CHIVE IS RACIST . THERE ARE NO BLACK LIGHTS IN THIS PICTURE.
          SUPPORT ME AGAINST THE CHIVE, SIGN MY PETITION. EMAIL ME AT I_am_a_whining_douchebag @ g mail

    • Tava

      Is that masking tape being used to splice the electrical cord?

  • Guest-ee-poo

    *knock knock*
    whose there?
    february.
    february who?
    FIRST!!!

    • http://www.kneedeepinabottle.com Navin R. Johnson

      and i thought just saying first was lame…

    • ozyozyozyoioioi

      You are absolutely piss funny….hurhurhruhrurhruruhruhruhuhruhruhruhruh

    • etcrrr

      at least you spelled February correctly. good job, now go & fuck yourself.

      • Credit Too Soon

        *who's, as in who is.

    • poo di doo doo

      at leest ewe spelled feberararary write, poop in my pants

    • Rafael_RS

      ahh c'mon guys
      this one deserves a laugh

    • yembyphish

      I for one, laughed. my mind painted a picture a february KOing me as I opened the door. gay name though.

    • john doe

      I hate to admit it but that was kinda funny, but it one of those that's only kinda funny the first time. If i see this again it'll be more like "fukin douchenugget… *sigh*"

    • Gooser

      You speld Febuary wrong dumy!

  • etcrr

    #27 Level Awesome

    • Guest-ee-poo

      it says level "American" not awesome.

      • etcrr

        Thank you Capt Obvious, but it is awesome fun

        • stuf

          CHIVE IS RACIST . THERE ARE NO BLACK OR ASIAN IN THIS PICTURE. OK MAYBE THERE IS A BLACK GUY HANGING FROM THE STRUT BUT THATS EVEN WORSE.
          PROMOTING THE KKK'S NAVY IS EVEN MORE RACIST
          SUPPORT ME AGAINST THE CHIVE, SIGN MY PETITION. EMAIL ME AT I_am_a_whining_douchebag @ g mail

          • monocogger

            everybody knows black people don't like water 😉

        • You Suck!

          stan…all the new chivers are going to catch onto you you dumb fuck. congrats, you're at 116 approval rating. far cry from that pathetic run you had with your other name(s), clicking on every picture just to comment where no one could see.

          You know what else? It just makes it so much worse that you're a 65 year old creep rather than a corny middle schooler. SAD.

          • Still here, Stan?

            This.

      • thedude325

        America == Awesome.

        • Rest of The World

          LOL!

  • young..

    #4 Pedobear Approved

    • mcanonymous

      Meanwhile in Russia…

  • Anonymous

    Wtf is #6

  • Rollout25

    #13 I'm going to steal Myself!

    • Del

      The one on the right is more entertaining….

      • JBinNC

        Pretty sure they're both wax figures, if that is what you were getting at.

    • six

      Thay both have doll hair!

    • dude

      hadem make the doll taller! feeling short? or just don't want everybody to know.

  • Name Him Snuffie.

    #14 WANT!

    • Mr.Wiseass

      You want a dead elephant fetus?

      • Him

        yes…yes i do.

      • Katie

        How do you know it's dead, too small?

    • Machinist

      Quick, shoot it full of anti-growth hormones! There must be a huge market for bonsai elephants!

    • Fat Bastard

      I honestly thought it was ceramic

    • your sitka

      U R a sick motherfucker!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • amplidudes

        Welcome to Reality! :*

    • Rafael_RS

      poor thing

    • Steen

      http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/prayer/elephant.asp This is unfortunately a dead fetus. The elephant did not live. This makes me incredibly sad. I wish I'd never seen this picture.

    • Name Him Stiffie

      Aha fuck i thought it was an alive little awesome elephant that was going to score me a ton of women… oh well.

    • michaelj

      That's a dead fetus chive. What are we getting in the DAR, dead cats ?

    • AllanA

      Damm it! That just killed my Chive DMA

  • smithy

    Wheres everyone at. Am I too early?

  • Heather

    # 25

    If only dreams came true!!!!

    • Charlie

      #25 you're welcome

      • Heather

        I never thanked you. Fuck off.

        • black and dumb

          don't get mad at Charlie, because you are too much of a noob to know how to post the picture…. fucking noobs…..

          • anuts litcoor

            bewbs, you say?

            • JHL1

              pogtfo

  • Anonymous

    Ya firsties!!

  • NcouthYouth

    #12 Welcome to the rest of your life sir.

    • stuf

      CHIVE IS RACIST . THERE ARE NO BLACK OR ASIAN GYPSY WEDDINGS IN THIS PICTURE. SUPPORT ME AGAINST THE CHIVE, SIGN MY PETITION. EMAIL ME AT I_am_a_whining_douchebag @ g mail

      • Bob

        Idiot, all the travellers/gypsies are white, though they do have orange skin from fake tans.

        • Burley

          the guy is being deliberately wrong to satirise the troll called stuf who barks about racism on here. Look at the email address

    • Adam

      Reason #43 on "Why I Am Not Married!"

  • Haven't we all

    #15 "Have a good war" "You too!"…"I mean…shit"

    • ozyozyozyoioioi

      Why shit is fucked up…right there

      • The Foley

        His expression is amazing, made me laugh way too hard.

    • kater

      fcuk you hired killers – go home and get a job, stop fighting for oil, stop invading, stop being murderus a-holes!

      • zorg

        yeah f u c k them killers

        • umadarentu?

          3rded. glorified murderers.

      • ABNmanW/theplan

        holy shit why are you so ignorant!! do you think we want to be over here??? we have families and children we would rather be with right now…what is the worst of all is i have seen my brothers get blown up for dickcheeses like you…i assume you enjoy the freedom you have right? and i dont see you out here with a gun protecting it…so who the fuck are you to tell me how i go about doing that for you. These people deserve what you so ignorantly take for granted. asshole of the year award goes to you KATER.

        • jomu23

          I am not trolling here. I would just really love to know how the military is protecting freedom? Who are we being protected from? My brother is in the military and when I ask him, he can never answer. I would just like it to be explained to me.

          • Truth Hurts.

            Protecting Government Bigots keep their pockets full.

          • panama99

            jomu23 you are simply asking the wrong person, the Soldiers don't get to decide where they go, it's the politicians. Some would say the President but the politicians either support it or don't.
            So asking your brother to explain it to you is simply stupid. He doesn't get a say in the matter nor should he. We, as a country, should not have our military deciding which war to fight and which one they will not participate in.
            I hope your brother is safe and returns soon.

            • jomu23

              I completely realize that I am asking the wrong person. After all, he is just doing his job. However, when I hear people talk about how they are protecting freedom, I always ask. I have asked a US Congressman, and he didnt have an answer either. There have been very few instances in history where the military was used for a righteous cause. I just wish people would wake up.

              • http://twitter.com/danieljillm @danieljillm

                I agree…WWII is the last war we were involved in that made sense (and even then not completely) but Vietnam, Korean War, Gulf War, Operation Iraq the Scapegoat, yeah none of those make sense. And it's true that the soldiers don't get to pick where they go or what they do…but they do know what's going on with the war before they enroll in the military so they can't claim complete ignorance. Unfortunately you're not going to get a straight answer as to why we fight the wars we fight from anybody who is involved in the decision. But I can tell you that there are a lot of politicians making a SHITLOAD more money than I am who stand to lose NOTHING by choosing one war over another for us to get involved in. They just kick back, get paid, and direct our lives. I say we send them to war, and I mean the front line where the action is and not hiding out on an aircraft carrier in attempt to look important.

              • Retired Explosive

                Here's the deal. There's this planet, called Earth. And on it there are land masses called continents. These continents are divided into countries. Each with their own respective system of culture and hierarchy. Most countries have some form of standing army/military. These militaries fight so that women, children and pussy's don't have to.

              • jAc09

                You wanna know how we are protecting freedom?? its like this if we all walked around with your tree hugging hippy, im the scrawny kid in the corner of the playground that gets fucked with cuz i dont have the balls to defend myself, additude then it wouldnt be long before some other country that actualy HAS balls would come and take us over because thats what happens to the guy on top so yah you might think us military personnel are nothing but a bunch of murderers but you know what? I enjoy the freedoms i have and id like my children to enjoy them as well so if being away from family and friends is what i have to do then so be it.

          • Captain Insano

            Everybody who organized the suicide bombing of the WTC Towers is a goner. Do you think they would have let up if we just sat here and didn't go after their whole entire network? You fuck with U.S., and you get taken down hard. Lesson learned.

            • ThatGuy

              I think they are referring to Iraq.

              • gbg

                sadaam was a genocidal maniac

        • Umadarentchu

          since they haven't actually protected the U.S. from anything in over 50 years, the Military is basically a form of welfare and taxpayers clothe and feed while they chase imaginary WMDs, sing retarded songs, and press their dicks together.

        • Oscar

          "Freedom isn't free, but the United States Marine Corps will pay most of your share."

      • Tyler Durden

        You Sir, are an asshole!

      • Wallmaster

        Your mum has a murderus a-hole.

    • Chris

      His penmanship is just barely better then the child's.

      • 1L_Law

        Your grammar is worse THAN the child's

        • Till

          so is your maturity level.

        • Jas

          Ah, as a 3L, let me tell you this: you are stuck in the perpetual state of entitlement that is often bestowed upon 1Ls in their delusions of grandeur.

          The internet has grown sick of ignorant grammar nazis. It's about time you,too, let that go.

      • 2cool4skool

        Let me help you with that: His penmanship is -just (redundant) barely better *than (not then) the child's.

        You could have pointed out that he used the word "actual" in a redundant way (as you used the word "just"), and you might have made a point, rather than (not then) proving that your intellectual capacity is probably no better than his.

    • Say 8

      and take luck!

      • CaptainInsano

        Nice Regan reference

        • 1L_Law

          Reagan maybe?

    • grizzlet

      Haha. When I was in Afghanistan I got a Christmas card from a kid that said "Merry Christmas, I hope you make it to New Years."

      • etcrr

        I appreciate your service, remember their hearts are in the right place if not their words

        • DrROBOTO

          he has points.I have many friends in the army and 2 over in afghanistan.But why did we go to iraq? everyone on those planes were from pakistan and one knowingly flew back to pakistan and was extradited back here for his trial…I thought it was hilarious that the media acted all surprised that bin laden was hiding there as well.Then again, news media on tv is simply on to misdirect us.

          • Markus

            Most of them were Saudi Arabians actually. But we're still friends with that country, because oil.

      • tel zzig

        Haha. When I was in Macy's I bought a card for my kid that said "Merry Christmas, I hope you make it to New Years."

    • http://twitter.com/trustnoone73 @trustnoone73

      I have a letter from 2003/4 pasted in my journal that says"

      "If you're still alive write me back"

      At least the kid is to the point and clearly wishes you well. He could have written a discourse on the morality of war and called you a hired killer while assuming the problems of the real world are your responsibility.

      Stay safe brother.

  • Peter

    Ladies, todays word of the day is "LEGS". Now, let's go back to my place and spread the word.

    • bumble

      what are you, 12?

      • The_Stif

        Peter Pan never grows older.

    • Smh

      You must get a lot of ass.. and by ass i mean your own hand.

      • ThatGuy

        That was even dumber than peter's comment.

  • JimmyBoPeep

    #1

    They're all amazed a white man can jump so high.

    • MattKL

      Please, we all know white men can't jump.

      • Red-Joker

        But apparently they bounce nice enough…

    • Rafael_RS

      he can jump but i'm certain that he can't dunk

    • F.S.M.

      Looks to be some Christian missionary asshole trying to rob a people of their culture. "Great a bible… how do I eat this?" Your fairy tales are no more valid than theirs.

      • true

        Jump for Jesus?

      • Jesus

        I still love you. For real, even though you're a jackass.

        • F.S.M.

          And the great Flying Spaghetti Monster (F.S.M.) loves you too jesus. And the easter bunny… And Zeus. Side note: Ron Paul 2012!

  • myself

    #2 Maybe teh greatest hoodie ever.
    #4 I'm kind of curios if that's granny and what she thinks about that.

    • Jon

      Go to Hollyhoodz.com to get one!

  • RonPaul!!

    #21 Owned!

    • RealOrNot

      Owned? because some douche wrote on the back of his own hand? Maybe if he had been able to write it on Obamas hand you could claim "owned" but this… Its funny but its weak

      • RonPaul!!

        yes owned..

      • phdonme

        He was owned…

    • Common Sense

      It's also a photo shopped image

    • passwordistaco

      #16 that's owned

    • herpaderp

      Actually, I'm pretty sure your candidate got owned in the Florida primary yesterday.

      • HydrogenBond

        LOL

  • Doesn't everyone?

    wish what happened to #24 had happened to #23

    • Underbaker

      Me too, I must have let it repeat 200 times hoping for some disrespect.

  • Smh

    #24 Happened to the wrong person 😡

    • Scruff

      Not at all! He is quite the cutey!

    • http://www.myspace.com/theamericanmaniacs BentWrenches

      This guy is hilarious.Cracks me up every time.

  • Street Fighter.

    #26 "ooat! ooat! oooat! Superb!"

    • DrROBOTO

      his life bar is still half full

    • JOHN

      ryu would not lose to the butterfly

  • Conundrum

    #16 not sure what to think of this. At first the thought is, "AWESOME!", but then I realize that it's a couple of guys in spandex…*shudder*.

    • Pete

      All I could think of was "damn, that must have hurt his knee"

  • thehonestone

    #23 Learn from this Chivettes. Stop whoring yourself.

    • vegas shooby doo

      ahaha true but what would happen to the chive if those whores stopped sending there slutty pictures for use to look at..?

      • kraik

        and if you keep referring to them as whores I am sure that will happen

        • wiesław

          whores will be whores

        • Katie

          unfortunately I doubt it

      • Christian Lander

        Stuff White People Like, #99 Grammar

        White people love rules. It explains why so they get upset when people cut in line, why they tip so religiously and why they become lawyers. But without a doubt, the rule system that white people love the most is grammar. It is in their blood not only to use perfect grammar but also to spend significant portions of time pointing out the errors of others.

        When asking someone about their biggest annoyances in life, you might expect responses like “hunger,” “being poor,” or “getting shot.” If you ask a white person, the most common response will likely be “people who use ‘their’ when they mean ‘there.’ Maybe comma splices, I’m not sure but it’s definitely one of the two.”

        If you wish to gain the respect of a white person, it’s probably a good idea that you find an obscure and debated grammar rule such as the “Oxford Comma” and take a firm stance on what you believe is correct. This is seen as more productive and forward thinking than simply stating your anger at the improper use of “it’s.

        Another important thing to know is that when white people read magazines and books they are always looking for grammar and spelling mistakes. In fact, one of the greatest joys a white person can experience is to catch a grammar mistake in a major publication. Finding one allows a white person to believe that they are better than the writer and the publication since they would have caught the mistake. The more respected the publication, the greater the thrill. If a white person were to catch a mistake in The New Yorker, it would be a sufficient reason for a large party.

        Though they reserve the harshest judgment for professional, do not assume that white people will cast a blind eye to your grammar mistakes in email and official documents. They will judge you and make a general assessment about your intelligence after the first infraction. Fortunately, this situation can be improved if you ask a white person to proof read your work before you send it out. “Hey Jill, I’m sorry to do this, but I have a business degree and I’m a terrible writer. Can you look this over for me?” This deft maneuver will allow the white person to feel as though their liberal arts degree has a purpose and allow you to do something more interesting.

        Don’t worry, it is impossible for a white person to turn down the opportunity to proofread.

        • ExistentialBanana

        • AnthonySyl

          Yes, all white men write in the English. Most other languages have very few contractions, so it would make sense that educated Americans would find it as an annoyance. Also, since when did hunger and being shot become annoyances?

      • KGG

        You guys are fucking stupid. If it wasn't so cliche, I'd facepalm. You'll drool over how hot they are and then turn right around and call them sluts. What the hell does that make you, other than a very confused and shitty person? That's a rhetorical question, please don't attempt to be funny by answering it and failing.

        • micheal scott

          i don't know about them, but i've always thought the chivettes were a bunch of attention-whoring sluts….

      • pewpty pands

        They are
        Theya your
        The Your
        poop in your, you're, yer pants

    • Calm

      I'm very proud of this girl for having self-respect, but that really has nothing to do with my desire to see boobs.

    • beegirl

      Yes – Thank you! Finally. Its sad when people need that kind of attention and adoration.

      • DrROBOTO

        if the chive stopped posting chivettes i would…still come here. been coming here for 3 years for the comedy not the whores.honestly, there is literally non ending porn out there, the soft core sluts on here are ok but could just as well do without

        • wellsaid

          Thank you !! Hope the the chive brothers read this and stop trying to turn this into a porn site.

          • Jessica

            THIS!! 100% AGREE WITH THIS!!

    • http://twitter.com/trustnoone73 @trustnoone73

      You're not serious are you?

      The blank 'new document' in Word is for puritans. The internet is for the rest of us.

    • elbruces

      She can have self-respect and show me her boobs too. The real problem is the puritan finger-waggers who label all sex-positive people as "whores." Once they're all at the bottom of the oceans, the rest of humanity can have a good time – and still respect each other while doing it.

      • KGG

        That's the kind of bullshit men fling at women when they just want to see more boobs.

      • Nao nao

        funny. that's exactly what i tell chicks to make them feel comfortable enough to show me their tits, and they actually believe me. lol dumb sluts.

    • Sluttypanda

      You need to learn the definition of "whore". Maybe then will you be able to actually capture the interest of a girl outside the friend zone.

    • lonin

      :facepalm:

  • its_forge

    I like Penis.

    • Derpy

      That's cool if you're a chick
      …But if you're a guy…. DUDE WHAAAAA???!!!!

  • Showtime

    #1 That guy Stuf that keeps trolling will love this…

    • stuf

      NO I DON'T . HOW IS IT THAT THE WHITE GUY GETS TO PLAY ON THE TRAMPOLINE AND THE BLACK KIDS JUST WATCH.
      CHIVE IS BEING RACIST AGAIN. THERE SHOULD BE PICS OF THE BLACK KIDS BOUNCING TOO.
      PROTEST AGAINST THIS . SIGN MY PETITION AT Iamawhiningdouche @ g mail

      • zaedrus

        Yo, Stuf. I'm really happy for you and Ima let you finish, but Paula's had the best run here as Resident Troll this year. Territory already claimed.

        • Lowrent75

          ^WIN

          • Gabler

            but not talking to the real stuf. Look at the email address. That guy is satirising stuf

            • Lowrent75

              You are correct. Apologies for my inept analysis.

  • http://twitter.com/mkingscott @mkingscott

    #26 is fantastic 🙂

    • stuf

      CHIVE IS RACIST . THERE ARE NO BLACK OR ASIAN BOXING SHORTS IN THIS PICTURE. SUPPORT ME AGAINST THE CHIVE, SIGN MY PETITION. EMAIL ME AT I_am_a_whining_douchebag @ g mail

      • asian

        where can i purchase said asian boxing shorts?

        • stuf

          asian boxing shorts store

  • http://www.kneedeepinabottle.com Navin R. Johnson

    #23 Would rather have seen that written in braille

    • ImAwesome

      *slow clap* You get the best comment of the day award lol!

    • SweetBabyJesus

      We meet again… Mr Johnson.

      –NorChuckis

    • thatguy

      that would be just way too many nipples for me

      • TitoRigatoni

        Mmmmmmmm… too many nipples…

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