Captions: making funny photos funnier since 1947 (31 photos)

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  • Lee

    Steiny

    • MRPOOP

      BALLS IN THE MOUTH

  • dedubs

    #2 ill get over it…

    • DaddyD

      You may get over it, but you missed a helluva party.

    • Ned Plimpton

      I REALLY want that chair! Someone else can have the 2 trannies.

    • Biggus Diccus

      Bitch says she will fuck you at her place then when you get there she suddenly is on her period and is going to bed. Damn tits get you free rides!

  • batman

    im batman

    • P90

      Just because you live in a cave and dress a schoolboy in leather dosen't make you Batman.

  • THIS IS MADNESS!!!

    Indubitably! #26

    • Avery

      Well said, old chap!

      • Martin McFly

        Indeed, Indeed!

        • Inspector Gadget

          bolly!

        • Yo diggity

          Chip chip!

          • Draxonic

            I say, dear fellow! What?

  • Bambalam

    Yaaaa Hooooo!!!

  • Lance

    Can we stop with the Lil' Wayne posts? Please? >.>

    • Ken

      Couldn't agree more!

    • Ken

      And yet again, couldn't agree more!

    • Ned Plimpton

      Triple agree. Not funny anymore.

    • driz

      u mean little gayne, fake gangster rapper? doesnt know if he's a crip or a blood? kissin grown men on the lips? tear drop tattoos? nigga u aint kill no body.

    • Loexnsp

      Get little waynes d*ck out of your mouth

  • Lou101

    #29 For the win!

    • mrjimmyos

      I think she's a lesbian

    • biggles

      I think justin is looking at this picture and thinking "great, i wonder what this tramp could be trying to do" which is obvious.

      Justin beiber and selena gomez have a happy normal relationship. Something trashian never has had. So she's obviously sowing seeds of discord.

      A girl like that can't have another girl around her, that has something she can't.

      • Elan

        So…how's the seventh grade treating you?

        • stumeister

          Oh yes! You sir, made my day ! well played

  • Chuck Van de Veld

    What happened in 1947?

  • Arvee

    31!! Amazing!

  • Stanji

    This made me lql #26

  • g3nXsLack3r

    #2 Oh, I went. I just didn't stay. I took out a restraining order on Botox and silicone.

    • Jack

      There are only two types of tits: real ones and real big ones

      • whodat924

        and I'd happily motorboat both types

    • A BiPolar Guy

      You zcan always count on a picture like this to bring loud cries of sour grapes.

  • http://echogeo.wordpress.com/ echogeo

    #25
    He should go camping with Bear Grylls.

    • The_Dood

      I really want to try some of that guy's stash. He seems to be high all the damn time… really, really high.

      • Frank

        He's just high on life. It must be amazing knowing so many things others can't fathom.

    • Ram

      World is full of aliens, 💥💥

  • just_some_guy

    #31 Absolute genius. Damn bitches.

    • Guest

      Having fun being sacreligious?

      • NofxFan

        The most fun.

      • A BiPolar Guy

        Pretty much the straight dope according to the Bible, just in different words. nothing sacriligious that i can see. I'm one of Christ's state department flunkies and i approve this message. That's straight out of saint paul, bro.

      • http://www.thechive.com SmokeyMorgan

        Get a sense of humor man. Nothing wrong with that.

    • KYLExGOOD

      He's holding baby Chuck Norris…I think that's the same bandanna he wore in "Delta Force"..

    • mooseknuckle907

      you know what Satan was thinking, "I gotta get me some apples. Bitches loves apples!"

    • Nat

      It was Adam that ate from the tree, not Eve.

      • Satan

        Wrong, they both ate it. Eve first, then she offered it to Adam. Seriously, read what you preach.

        • http://twitter.com/danieljillm @danieljillm

          BOO YAH! You are correct…bitches love apples

    • JHC

      Nailed it!! oh… wait…

    • SamLowry

      Yeah, it's all the fault of the woman, not the guy who planted a fruit tree in the Garden and said "Don't touch it" or the other guy who said "Go ahead, do it".

      If your dad told you "Don't touch my apple tree" you know you'd eat half of them and bake the rest into pies. Admit it.

      Oh wait, the first offering on another caption page shows an agonized woman saying "Why am I out of the kitchen?" Nope, no sexism there, either, nor was there any in the open invitation to every woman out there to post revealing photos of themselves at work, followed by instant condemnation when a pot-smoking teacher takes them up on their offer.

  • curt

    LQL
    #31 #26

  • Fun_with_Numbrs

    #3
    It would be awesome to be the Staypuff marshmellow man for a day……

  • ChrisDG74

    #13 – Sad thing is, it's 100% true.

    • Guest

      Yep – in the 90s pregnant teen=whore and 00/10s pregnant teen = MTV and tabloid star

      • chrisdg74

        Makes me weep for humanity's future.

        • Guest

          Me too – there was once a time society did not reward irresponsible behavior.

          • mrjimmyos

            Gone are the days where you get impaled for thievin apples!

    • Ricky Runyon

      Well, part right. 90s teen preggo is 100%. Today's teen preggo really just want kids either to "keep their boyfriend from leaving" or they think "babies are cute, I WANT ONE!" Then they give it to the grandparents to raise while they go fuck more guys and have fun. MTV is the one's to blame for the publicity.

      • SamLowry

        Actually, that was exactly the same reasoning and result in the 90s. The only difference today is that MTV and its insipid audience reward these morons making all the wrong choices.

  • He'sCookinOurGarbage

    31 they owe us a rib too

    • SamLowry

      Failed anatomy, did you?

  • Mad_Hittman

    #11 Good God ant it's written with pink comic sans…. *le sigh*

    • rodolfo

      Who's ant?

  • redguy

    #28 So does anyone get it?

    • bankrobert

      Everything is not fine

    • ZachBob

      I don't.

  • BiGGyT

    #1
    It hurts the artist because they have to use prop money instead of real hundies. FOR SHAME….

    • ale

      He is no artist.

      • BiGGyT

        /sarcasm

        • dolladollaBill

          that's real money.
          in a real bank vault.
          now wait for it…

    • Scott

      You're an idiot.

      • BiGGyT

        Here, let me draw you a map. I am not actually arguing against the text, in fact, with my sarcastic remark, I am supporting their sarcasm. See, the joke there is he can't use real $100 bills in this photo because he cannot afford them due to being harmed by pirated downloads of his music. Somehow, this humor was lost on you, and you assume otherwise. Or maybe you are right and I'm just and idiot, in which case my response to you is, fuck off, clown.

    • lfgd1978

      Most of the music these days sucks balls and I would not pay or listen that crap but it is true that they lose money due to piracy so for me is hard to feel too bad for most of them.

  • T

    17, 19 and 31 are GOLD, JERRY! GOLD!!

  • jrey81

    #4, #17, #31, LQL!

  • AnthonySyl

    #4 gets me everytime

    • SamLowry

      No different than thanking God for a "miraculous" recovery instead of the doctor who did all the work.

  • Guest

    #12

    Is that a guy or a girl?

    • jared

      yes

    • FAPallnight

      Not enough evidence either way. It's PAT!

    • Zeke

      It's a hippie… doesn't matter.

    • Chomperzz

      Doesn't matter…I wouldn't fuck either.

    • Mike

      Or Daniel Radcliff?

    • lfgd1978

      That´s Daniel Radcliff on dreadlocks. If hes not Daniel Radcliff it´s I think is uncertain and it can go either way due to the lack of breast, subtle shadow of a beard, manly jaw line, and lack of Adam´s apple. Either ways looks dirty and I would not approach it.

  • junior

    Ok, I get it, you guys like making fun of Christians, but apparently every other religion is off limits…so can we just lay off religion all together…

    • Tristan

      Im pretty sure its making fun of women more than Christianity.

    • Anonymous

      Even god has a sense of humor..you obviously don’t

    • Safarisurfer

      Junior you need to relax; if you don’t like it don’t visit the site.

      • junior

        You know I see this response a lot if someone disagrees, or rather takes exception to a post…If you don't like it don't log on, well the point is I do like a lot about the Chive, I think it can be clever and entertaining, however the relentless assault on Jesus in particular and Christianity in general is tiresome. I would think that the Chive staff is enlightned enough to take a little constructive criticism. I get why they don't post stuff about other religions, some of them would blow up the Chive offices if ever made fun of…which does show how tolerant Christianity is. Jesus loves everybody…read the Sermon on the Mount, it will change your perspective about what Christianity is all about. And I am very relaxed, that's what happens when you got Jesus…= )

        • amrith777

          Agreed–I'm a Christian and I laughed my ass off at the two "religious" posts.The God of MY understanding has a great sense of humor!

        • JUNIOR'S MEME

          Every religion has their CRAZIES including the BIRTHERS of Middle America or the All holy christians who bomb and kill at abortion clinics. Just remember when you are giving your OPIONION, you are still passing judgement… So let me get this straight, You hate the Jesus Bashing becuase it makes you unholy, but ALL HAIL THE CHIVETTES BURNING BRAS!?!?

    • Josh

      Have you met our friend stuf?

    • ImpressMe

      junior, I agree with you. The Chive isn't, or shouldn't be, a political or religous site. I'm tired of the Jesus bashing as well. I can come here, look at the gorgeous women, laugh at the funny stuff, and crack on people for being stupid as well as anyone. Most of the religion jokes are pretty blatantly athiest in origin anyway and frankly they are juvenile and tiresome.

      • Jack

        JESUS BASH!

    • A Guy

      Christianity is derived from a book of fairy tales written by the Catholic Church to create their own government to control people as they please. Isn't it odd that any "christian" historic artifacts or findings go straight to the Catholic Church with no access to the public? All religions of the world were created by man, to please man, to control man. Our creators are either science, or some other being that's not a part of some holy plane. I DO believe in a higher power, but humans do not have the answer to who the higher power is.

      Anyways. If you don't like it, stay off the internet. People say what they want. There's nothing you can do about it. You're killing the buzz us heathens have from the humor. The post is more degrading women than Christianity anyways.

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