Daily Afternoon Randomness (49 Photos)

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  • first

    first

    • hhahahahahhaahahaha

      ur soooo special!!! u didnt even post a comment about anything on it!!! WOW ur sooo cool!

      • sixdeadelves

        you mad?

    • 65massey

      I could have been first but I procrastinated again, I'm such a procrastinator I never got a birthmark until I was 8 years old.

      • Xander

        I still have the form for mine on my desk.

    • Xander

      Aren't you late for your AOL chat?

  • Hump DAR

    #4 this is Sparta !!!!

    • Just Sayin'

      Is it bad i know which disgrace of a film this is from?

      • Mr. Maniac mouse

        well, which one is it from then?

    • Meme Won't Die

      I'm surprised by the lack of Angelina Leg GIFS
      this or 300 is a prime opportunity for the next logical step.

    • boodah

      How I feel about theChive APP not Chiveworthy anymore!

    • Handy

      obligatory fus ro dah comment

    • K1Strata

      It's from Jennifer's Body.

  • AssClown

    #7 Unfortunately, you'll still have that shitty car…
    #36 "to resist boredom and productivity" – your succulent hiney…

    • BigRick69

      Human psychology has seriously faulty logic. How is that man especially lucky that the tree didn't hit his car? He is no luckier than anyone else who's car survived the day without getting slammed by a tree. The only thing remarkable about the photo is how unlucky he is that a falling tree came that close to crushing his car. But no. Even though he had the poor luck of striking the 1 in a million chance that a tree fell close to his property, he is lucky because he avoided the 1 in a 100 million chance that the tree actually hit his car. Yes I did just post that. INB4 "cool story bro".

      • TracerBullet_PI

        If you want to be a dick about it, there's no such thing as luck, the sheer physics of the situation the tree will fall that way 100 in 100 times given the same conditions. If you want to go all big picture on the state of his luck and all the other people whose cars didn't get crushed, I'd call him pretty lucky too, because he lives in a time and is in such a financial position as to actually have a car. Billions and billions of people who lived before him have been far less fortunate.

        Or you know … you could just enjoy the picture.

        • BigRick69

          Sure, there is no real luck or randomness for it to stem from and everything can be predicted (determinism, physics, etc), but from a pure probability standpoint when something seemingly unlikely happens to someone i think it is appropriate to call someone "lucky" or "unlucky". Also I like the way you said there was no such thing as luck, then went on to say I was wrong again by using a completely irrational argument that required the existence of luck. And finally I also like the way you typed up a long argument and then dismissed it with that final statement to maximize your up-votes.

          Dear Diary,
          TIL TracerBullet_PI is a real douchebag….

      • Odie

        You two may have stumbled onto the wrong website.

    • Justin

      Don't trash talk a man's car.

    • Kowabunga

      i think #7 just backed their car up to the tree. i would bet money on it.

      • Jim

        This is exactly what happened. "Oh look, that funny tree fell in the road. I'm gonna back my car up so it looks like I was really lucky and then I can have my 15 minutes of internet fame."

      • MacNCheesePro

        THAT'S NOT WHAT I WANT TO BELIEVE!!!!! I ALREADY SHOWED IT TO FAMILY, FRIENDS AND CO-WORKERS!!!!! FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUU

    • http://twitter.com/mayerjacoby @mayerjacoby

      if you want to complain about chive especially t-shirts, follow me on twitter, and tweet!

    • AssClown

      Geez Chive, stop switching around pics… # 36 is suppose to be #37

      • salute my shorts

        Can't tell if vagina or front of shirt

  • Jim

    #21, #22

    That is a good question, girls, thank you for asking. The answer is a little complicated, ahem…

    The duckface is never acceptable, ever, for any reason.

    • xkfjvb

      infinitly thumbed up

    • Bogus_Shizzall

      Although when presented simultaneously with boobs this argument will become increasingly invalid with inverse proportion to the quality of said boobs.

      • meh

        A duckface presented simultaneously with boobs is like a tree falling in the forest. If you didn't see it, it didn't really happen.

      • matt

        hold on what did you say i was distracted by the masses. I wish i had 4 hands so i could give them aces 4 thumbs up

    • Alex

      Although they have nice humps (thanks for sharing ladies), I have to agree; No duckface, ever.

    • I don't even...

      How was this answer complicated in any way? FFS The Chive and all its fucktard followers are going downhill and fast. What a rehashed shitty website.

      • Shawn

        Sense of humor: None.

      • tommytwotime

        "William Franklin…was a dick"

    • switch_24

      i object, good sir.. the duckface on the pics MAYBE accepted if the submission includes other pictures, with:

      – humpday (done)
      – mind the gap
      – burn your bra
      – flbp

    • Lev

      Girls really want to justify that shit, don't they…

      • Sticky Wickets

        bitches love duckface

    • Wang

      I disagree, duckface is highly acceptable when it is around my wang.

      • Frank

        Smile like a doughnut!

    • Zherkof

      The thing is, that's not duckface… it's kissy-face. Forgiven.

  • First!!

    First!!!

    • gmen

      *screen shot*; submit to chive, post in "nailed it" gallery

    • LIKE A BOSS

      Oy. The only thing that fails harder than the "first" comments are the ones that aren't actually first.

  • Daniel Tosh

    I like butty and big ol' titties

    • Maveric

      This is a lie, Daniel Tosh likes dudes

    • Pedro

      shock comedy hack

    • mittens

      WTF is butty?

      • Frank

        It's synonymous with vagina in San Fran.

      • L/A Bob

        A sandwich

  • 6_Crack_rocks

    #2 That is bad ass. I want to do that.
    //slaps shark
    //gets eaten

    • tommytwotime

      this is my nightmare, but I would totally do it if I was hammered

  • Mikey G

    CHIVE, Y U NO PUT KCCO SHIRTS FOR SALE??!

    • cvcownr

      your answer lies somewhere around picture #35.5

      • B_McKillop

        are they still gonna give out the kcco shirt with the crown???

        • naelae

          Yes, they are just doing St patty's day shirts right now. Probably have to wait a couple of months for them though

  • hark1985

    #10 I am sorry master you were saying?

    • Katie

      Dogs are great

      • Shut up

        You're an annoying whore.

  • OffDaWall

    #36 – Yippie!

    • MTB6

      I'll believe it when I see them POP back up

      • mark tucker

        Dunno if this is true but I heard from my friend at Shopify said that the server crashed after it received over 14,000 shirt requests in under 2 minutes. crashed all of Shopify and all the sites it houses which is really an amazing feat if you think about the complexity of the network.

    • darius

      saw on facebook my buddies went to the chive offices yesterday themselves to try and get the shirt and the chive gave them the last shirts they had. Didn't charge them, just told them not to put them on ebay. nice guys.

      • Unfkngblvbl

        I might try that, but the round trip in gas would be about the same cost as the shirt.

  • johnc

    #11 lolololol so true

    • Dylan

      I don't understand this. Don't cops have mandatory fitness requirements?

      • Anon

        He obviously got the day outside from his desk job 😛

      • Adolf

        Well, from all those disgusting pigs in america this one is actually quite an athlete, he should have applied for swat or something…

      • Rick_

        I believe you take a physical test to get in. But once you're in they encourage you to bulge.

      • Dakota

        they do to pass the academy but once you're a cop, you just have to take a annual physical fitness test.. that does not mean jack shit.. it's embarrassing.

      • sadman

        This guy gets his department one credit for being black and another credit for being disabled (morbidly obese). They would not dare get rid of him simply for the inability to do his job.

    • Joe

      According to Sideshow World:

      Big Joe
      The Largest Man in the World

      Big Joe Grimes of Cincinnati
      Breaks Through Cab and Fatally Wounds Himself

      Big Joe Grimes, said to have been the largest man in the world, is dead at the home of his parents in the city, as the result of a peculiar accident. While riding in a cab, his great weight broke through the bottom, one of his legs was gashed, the wound refusing to heal.

      Grimes weighed 754 pounds, and was thirty-four years of age. He was 6 feet 4 inches in height, and his body and limbs were of ponderous dimensions.

      New York Time September 6, 1903
      http://www.sideshowworld.com/81-SSPAlbumcover/Fat

      • Nonya

        He's not actually a cop, That is "House" from the later "Police Academy" Movies. You know the ones that suck.

    • stumeister

      Hope thats diet water he's holding !

  • Lawrence

    #21… yes please…

    • forever alone...

      now kiss…

  • notsofunny

    #22 NO! There is no "making up" for Duckface

    • Evan

      Although we encourage you to try your hardest.

      • Ray T

        And by Hardest we mean lots of FLBP pics & hump pics & any other sexy pics you can think up.

  • Fudf

    #1

    Watch behind you bro

    • Boooger

      I think you are going to need a bigger boat.

    • etcrr

      We're gonna need a bigger and faster boat skipper!

  • gmen

    #41 well done, y que viva barça!!

    • Leonel_LyL

      VISCA Barça. It's catala, not castellano.

      • SilkySapper

        It's shit is what it is

    • sticky

      BARCA!!!!!

    • dagleja3

      Hola, Hola Madrid!

    • SilkySapper

      more proof that brains and beauty do not always come together. fucking bandwagon

    • BB Deville

      Mes Que Un Club!! #41 made my day!

      • JIbanez

        mas

    • eclipze

      GOOD LORD. Utd fan here, not really happy with ur team beating us twice in the UEFA finals but you just made me forgive you.

    • Repene

      I'd love to ride that ass.

  • the_mike

    #11 #19

    So big it had to be done twice.

    • DrLeppiwinks

      Dont you hate it when they fix the repeats?

      • the_mike

        Oh, son of a bitch, and now that there are comments I can't fix it. Woops.

  • Shar11

    #24….only a man would do this ….lol… awesome!!!

    • hark1985

      true

    • tommytwotime

      or the girl of all our dreams

      • Shar11

        that's a good point …hahaha but….cannot possibly think of any where you would find "this girl of all your dreams"

        • Shar11

          what's with the down voting….find me a girl that will be ok celebrating a anniversary every 4 years??? maybe a 3rd world country where men make the decisions?

          • ^^Homewrecker^^

            Shut up whore.

          • Go Home

            This is America… The men do make the decisions.

            • Homewrecker

              maybe thats why AMERICA is falling apart and a bunch of sister fucking hicks

    • grrregg

      Not true, my dad got married today, my new stepmom picked today to get married.

      • Homewrecker

        why did your parents split is it cause they cheated on each other? I bet your dad will divorce again

    • Ruzz

      Dammit, just got engaged a week ago, wish I would have thought of this

    • Katie

      Yeah my bf asked if we could change our anniversary to yesterday (2/29)

      • Homewrecker

        shut up bitch…..alll the chivettes are whores on this site

  • MassChiver

    Hump DAR makes my week. Chivettes are better looking everyday. Thanks

  • Burlinator

    #41 Sweet Fancy Moses!

    • Burlinator

      Comment is appropriate for #42 also…

  • Woodrowrules

    #30 #32 #41 You are definently doing it right

    • Kabanna

      Need more of the FC Barcelona Fan!!!

      • SilkySapper

        but without the Barcelona shit

  • bob

    #21

    doesnt matter fapped anyway..

    • stumeister

      hahahaha best response to this pic yet!

  • os99

    #11 #19 Double post much? 🙂

    • mricanssuck

      they're just reminding Americans what fat asses they are….keep eating bacon and deep fried butter losers

      • niudgc

        Don't get all pissy because your country is to poor to afford the awesomeness of bacon. And honestly, nobody eats fried butter unless your from Wisconsin.

        • niudgc

          Although, clearly I have poor grammar. I blame that on Chicago Public Schools.

      • attakid201

        We'll also continue to make the fucking world turn. We lead, you follow.

        The end.

        • Bruno

          Tragically, this is the common American mindset. The world needs us to bomb the shit out of them.

        • Jasper

          I thought our orbit around the sun and other laws of physics made this sucker turn… I guess not. what the hell else have they lied about in school?

      • daveishear

        dont worry america, you're no.1 no more. australia have more fat people per capita. and they're fatter and bigger

      • Odie

        Thumbs up if you think mricanssuck is a giant douche.

  • etcrr

    #46, #47 KCCO should always represent this good

    • LFC

      #46 are you at LFC???

      • 6655321

        If so, I marry her.

    • tmach81

      who is she and can we please have some more.

    • batman

      More feet please those are sexy as hell

  • Duck Hunter

    #21, #22 we need more pics before we can say yes

    • BostonChiver.

      They've passed in my book…nice hump, excellent gaps.

      • Dick Salad

        They passed in my book as well. Probably because I have a penis rather than eat it, but hey the berry lurkers are out in force on this post.

  • MOAR

    #27 Man legs!!

    • haha

      "my precious…."

      • Iceman2509

        Hahaha…that was the first that popped in my head as well.
        Gollum!

    • its_forge

      Well, she's fifty and looks better than Madonna does, so meh.

    • Fridge Magnet

      I don't get why this was worthy of posting on such a normally awesome site.

    • ChelseaRules

      "Jurst wurkin' on thr brch, hurp durp!"

      • Karmatroll

        lets see how good chealsea looks in 30 years

        • ChelseaRules

          Nice job with that spelling, bud.

          Also, that's not fair. You judge her based on how she looks at 50 but I get judged based how I look at 80?

    • tapsnapornap

      Battletoad legs?

    • Emily

      Such an angry walk

    • tuy

      If it makes you happy it can't be that bad.

    • Super Dave

      DON'T mind the gap!

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