Hot Right Now: Here’s to the weekend, CHEERS!! (38 Photos)

Mitch Hedberg’s one liners immortalized in wood (8 photos)

143 30 341

Here’s one of my favorite Mitch Hedberg moments and if you’ve ever been to a Dunkin Donuts, you feel my pain.

Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement
  • wetbeezy

    I wrote a script and gave to a directer and he told me to rewrite it… i said fuck that, I'll just make a copy

  • chavo

    The late? Did he die?

  • Hurryupmyclothesaregoingoutofstyle

    Duh, like ten years ago

  • Hurryupmyclothesaregoingoutofstyle

    “I haven’t slept for THREE DAYS… Because that would be a long time to sleep.”

  • Green Mountain Bot

    I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughtnut… I don't need a receipt for the doughnut. I give you money and you give me the doughnut, end of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I can't imagine a scenario that I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. To some skeptical friend, 'Don't even act like I didn't get that doughnut, I've got the documentation right here… It's in my file at home. …Under "D".

  • Kyle

    There should be a Fuckin' Mitch Hedburg t-shirt.

  • deezus

    I’m against picketing, I just don’t know how to show it.

  • Scotty

    Good God, I haven't seen this much cocksucking for a corpse since I went to xtremetube.

  • John

    “This shirt is dry clean only, which means this shirt is dirty.”

  • anonymous

    If you are wearing a turtleneck and a backpack it’s like a midget is trying to bring you down.

  • Andy

    R.I.P. Mitch. "I went to a pizzeria, I ordered a slice of pizza, the fucker gave me the smallest slice possible. If the pizza was a pie chart for what people would do if they found a million dollars, the fucker gave me the "donate it to charity" slice. I would like to exchange this for the "keep it!"

  • Kate

    "We do not need to bring ink and paper into this". Brilliant! Best comedian of all time🙂 Thanks for this post.

  • Curtis

    ” An escalator can never break… It just turns into stairs.” I’m definitely in favor of a Mitch hedburg tshirt the guys a legend.. Another one for the road. ” I find ducks’ opinion of me depends on whether or not I have bread.”

  • meh

    Dude isn't even funny. Stupid Americans idolize everyone who did anything showbiz related and died, though.

  • mehh

    Your theory if full of holes I found him funny before he was dead. If carrots got you drunk rabbits would be fucked up.

  • Jonny L

    This meh guy must be French… Or retarded, same thing.

  • BillSPreston

    "I like an escalator, man, because and escalator can never break down. It can only become stairs."
    I love Mitch.

  • sol

    my all time favorite comedian.. rest in peace you mad genius

  • loui vito

    "When I was young, I would lay in my twin sized bed wondering where my brother was" thats one of my favorite. He was a great stand up guy, just had some drug issues, thats all.

  • snazz

    I like the fedex guy because he’s a drug dealer and doesn’t even know it… And he’s always on time!

  • http://shaveurlegz.com/2012/03/16/around-the-internets-44/ Around The Internets | SHAVEURLEGZ

    […] Mitch Hedberg’s One Liner Immortalized In Wood (TheChive) […]

  • FLoWWaKe

    Favorite comedian

  • Wink

    Escalat

  • Wink

    Escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience… I was at a carnival and this guy asked me to guess how many jelly beans were in a jar so I could win a prize. I was like why can’t I just HAVE SOME?! How bet you guess how many I want? If you said a handful you are correct!

  • Anonymous

    I’m sorry Reese… I never thought I would run into you…. can j at least have a piece? You’re a fucking bully man

1 2 3 4 5
blog comments powered by Disqus