Photos from a Chinese gangster’s lost cell phone (21 Photos)

Let the jokes begin...

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  • thomas

    #10, #20

    "What the FUCK did you say about my grandma's couch?"

    • Pattycake

      IT SUCKS!

    • Xie Oi De

      #10 This is not even funny. This man is dead and mutilated.. It's all over the news hear i China! They cut his body up in little pices and threw the pices out from a window down on the market wher this man worked and refused to pay the gangsters… This is not cool at all!!!!

      • MylesofStyles

        Nice try Xie Oi De. You can change your name, but we all know you're Stin Ki Pu.

    • DoomsDayDub

      Yeah this is the most non-threatening looking gangster I have ever seen, but I sure as hell wouldn't f*ck with him. By the way is this some sort of weird shirtless gang cell phone gang?

  • Jeff

    uhh…let the jokes begin??? Im completely jealous of this guy.

    • Barry

      Literally exactly what I would be doing if I had to live in that country.

    • Lev

      You know how much rice he can buy with those stacks of cash??

    • bobby

      Doesn't matter, still has to live in China.

      • Fart

        He really doesn't. He's loaded, he can do whatever he wants. With or without his flippy floppies on

    • LiQiDVeX

      Exactly what I was thinking. Besides water bottle mouth pic but my cell phone pics are weirder.

    • ThatGuy

      I think several of those photos are mildly incriminating. You won't be jealous of him for long.

    • fignewton

      Thinking the same thing? I don't get it? This guy is flat out layin it down

  • fernando

    #20

    So I'm going to kill you… with my mad style

    • Chivacy Please

      This guy is Linsane!

      • ^^Boo^^

        BOOOO!!! BOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

  • Hoodie

    What a fag

  • dennis

    #20

    His tattoos match the pattern on the couch

    • Leonel_LyL

      I'm raughing out roud. 😛

      • Duke Univ AAA

        Haha – make fun of Asian accents. You are uneducated and a piece of trash. You are the new minority in the U.S. You're not racist, sure. You feel like you are the center of the universe, classic ethnocentrism. Look around. There are f*cking Asian people everywhere – taking your jobs, women, money, political power. Who makes the sh*t you buy? Who owns the financial markets where your assets are? Keep making fun of Asians…"ching-chong this, and chink that!" Who will be laughing in the next few years?

        • Leonel_LyL

          Umm, I live in Mexico. So I don't really care if your jobs are taken by Asians, just how I'm sure you don't care that our jobs are taken by South Americans.

        • DoomsDayDub

          Woah, calm down there Ping Pang Poon. Who sh*t in your Rice Patties this morning? This is a site where people make inappropriate jokes in the comments. If you are offended don't come to the site, or read the comments.

  • James

    #8 Thats like 6 dollars

    • Frank

      6 DORRRUUUUUUUU!!!!!

      • Hyphen

        Just shot water through my nose, on to my keyboard. Coworkers staring. Tried to explain a spontaneous aversion to perfume (I panicked). Well played!

      • Heavy Dree

        "Mao money, Mao money, Mao!"

        • Notorious BIG

          "Mao money, Mao problems."

    • http://twitter.com/MOLA1 @MOLA1

      LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

    • Bill

      I guess it's some more, because u can't buy a Porsche with 6 dollars, even in China.

      • Cider Drinker

        It's not a Porsche, it's a cheap chink knock-off ….. a Poshe

        • treter

          Easy on the racism bud.

          • Juiol

            I had noticed all is good with racist remarks in here before, but thumbing down a comment that points out (with sense) one of them? Jeez

            • DoomsDayDub

              There's a thumb down for you too! Welcome.

            • Dalton

              shut ur suck round eye

      • http://www.pricehound.ro dan

        actually, those hundreds are $15 each.

        • Biggus Diccus

          So in a 1000 bill brick that's $15,000 x 10 bricks = more cash I will ever see in my life

          • http://www.thechive.com AdamBaldick

            Good math

          • Munokhoi

            More like $173,000, give or take an exchange rate….

    • John

      you dumb wanker that's at least more than your life insurance

      • tmoney

        wanker?

    • Johnny Bloom

      Yeah but they're still worth more than US dollars. Chinese $$$ are backed by more than paper and a promise.

      • DoomsDayDub

        Yeah…. by lies and manipulation.

      • Frank Dogg

        They are backed by US treasury bills, which are US dollars… And other currencies.

      • Herby Sagues

        What are they backed with? Bricks of shiny metal with arbitrary value?

      • Scott

        Don't worry. The dumb US Chivers don't understand that the US dollar is worth little more than toilet paper at this point, but what would you expect? The only thing we're #1 in anymore is fat people and people in prison per capita.

    • He could

      With that kind of money he could probably buy a House in the US. Balling.

    • Vineet

      Hahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003201354042 Patrick Sled

    I didnt know asians came in guido

    • Matt

      You've never seen Okinawa Shore?

      • BloodScrubber

        And why in WWII the Rising Sun emblems were called "meatballs". Guido indeed. 😉

        • Mark

          WWIII – Japan + U.S. + Korea vs China. This will really suck. Make fun of Asians more please!

    • mmm

      Where's the fist pump pic?

  • FAMOUSTRUCKDRIVR915

    #4 LUNCH!!!!!….

    • theeemightybuck

      i think you mean RUNCH!!!!!

    • Guy on a Buffalo

      I think you mean Chow is here.

      • The Stadium Guy...

        But he is here for runsh…..

    • QWERTY

      Typical ignorant rednecks. Its sad that all of Asia still has less obese people than America alone. Eating dogs may not be appealing to a lot of people, but its better than having a historical culture of Mcdonalds, Dennys, and Applebees.

      • jay

        Of course China has less obese people. Most of them are starving.

      • George Clooney

        man shuuuuttttt tttthhhe fffuuuccckkk up!!!

        • Elephant man

          You morons make me sad to be American, you really are stupid racist rednecks that know that they don't have to give their real name otherwise you would be ashamed. I dare you to post comments like these on your face book pages you fuckin cowards. Sadly in china they have racists too that hate white people for no reason so the really sad part is no matter were we go there are ignorant fucks like yourself that try to piss off everyone else because your uncle molested you as a child

          • Herby Sagues

            I've been to China a few times, and no one seemed to hate me. I've also been in the US quite a few times, and rarely saw anyone treating someone differently because he or she was Chinese. So according to my personal experience racism is not rampant in either country.
            Now, one thing I've seen is that Americans have no sense of humor when it comes to racist jokes. Which is a shame, because some of the best jokes are racist jokes.

      • Herby Sagues

        > Eating dogs may not be appealing to a lot of people, but its better than having a historical culture of Mcdonalds, Dennys, and Applebees.
        No, it's not.

  • Hutch

    He been had money

    • boll

      retarded dumb shit

  • Shant1k

    fake gay made in china

    • Frank M

      #17. Vertu Constellation cellphone. Ridiculously expensive! Costs like 17 Grand!!! It has a friggin' concierge button with 24-hour service.

      • DoomsDayDub

        I wonder if he used the concierge to carry out hits. Sucks his license plates and home and everything are now posted all over the internet. He is probably just some politicians kid anyway.

  • LucretiusCarus

    What? More pics of my gut? Yeah, it is pretty awesome

    #1 #6 #19 #20

    • http://www.countingposts.com dutch

      ZERO fucks were given.

      • LucretiusCarus

        I bet these two gangsters are friends.

  • Brandon

    #10 I know it was you, Xinto Lin. You broke my heart. You broke my heart!

  • Dizz

    The Hangovers Mr. Chow the real life version, nice!

  • Martin_McFly

    #1 Cool Coffee Table Bro!

    • The Stadium Guy...

      Is that not a TEA table???? Just asking???

      • Martin_McFly

        touche sir, touche…

  • ChiaoChiao

    Why he's half naked?

    • Tankus

      I'm not sure about you, but #1 I call that fully naked!

      • http://www.facebook.com/zophie04 Zophie Valdez

        hes wearing a red short… but his fat belly/legs kinda hide it

  • Amigo

    amongst all those pictures, there's not one of him with a women…. just sayin

    • Mrs_Conejo

      China's sex ratio is getting better, 118 men for every 100 women, but many men might not ever find a woman. =/

    • Not a fan

      I thought it was obvious he is gay

    • _maxPain_

      He's soooo Lonely so Lonely

    • Chinaman

      who do you think took the pictures?

    • https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1311045185 John Reynolds

      Thats 'cuz they're running out of women……..they only keep the boy babies! Let's see how that works out for them down the road.

  • http://www.facebook.com/mhatfield markhats

    where is all the cake kim jung un?

  • trucker bear

    #10 he has really strong teeth! They told him bite the curb… so he did!

  • 6_Crack_rocks

    #10 Ok, now put the shoe on your head…right there…yes perfect
    /click
    look like you love it! Yes yes perfect
    /click

    • Ned Flanders

      The best part of this picture? The fact that this poor dude was probably killed shortly after it! Keep it lite chive!

      • boll

        lol i was gonna say does noone else notice this guy got the shit kicked out of him?

    • Thebill

      the tone of this set totally changed for me after seeing this. Sad.

  • Tony

    Things seem to have worked out for Leslie Chow after The Hangover!

  • TheHypnotizer

    #20 You'd think with all that cash he could call Jenny Craig and buy some less feminine shoes.

    • Lil John

      "Well yea, the slippers are kinda crappy."

      –Steven Chow about the World's #1 Killer

    • Badger

      You would think he would have a better place to live looks like a cheap motel!

  • mikedub1984

    #14 Its not a purse…. Its a satchel… Indiana Jones had one….

    • The Great Bambino

      So does Joy Behar…

      • TDub66

        and Joy Bieber…

    • neauxla

      it's a european man bag!

  • Mitch

    ROR!!!!!

  • http://cinemaplastique.tumblr.com MigraineBoy

    #11 The first rure about Fight Crubs is you do not talk about Fight Crub!

    • Capz

      #4 did you say fight cub?

    • Johnny Two Toes

      Haha, he has him in a chinese finger trap, he'll never get away!

    • AmyK

      Fright Crub.

    • huskercub

      I cran't stop raughing!

    • HamSamich

      ROR…got me cracking up. Well done sir. Well done.

    • Duke Univ AAA

      It's funny, you can make fun of Asian accents all you want – but the truth is you probably did poorly in school and failed English. Most foreign born Asians who immigrated to the U.S. as teens ended up honoring most of their classes, including English, and went on to ace the SATs/ACT's and are in Ivy League schools becoming physicians, attorneys, and engineers. Average joes like you laugh laugh laugh – but give it a few more years and trash like you will be serving the people you make fun of.

      • http://cinemaplastique.tumblr.com MigraineBoy

        Yes, you're right. I'm a low piece of white trash in a dead end job with no hopes or dreams for the future. Trashing other cultures' habits, appearances and other traits is what I fill my days with and, quite frankly, is the only thing I have to look forward to when I come home to my dilapidated trailer. At least, that's your perspective on me and my life. Maybe, just maybe I've had the privilege of enjoying a higher education and maybe, just maybe, I don't work a dead end job. Not that there is any shame in being a skilled mechanic, or a great cook, a construction worker. The fact is that all these people are needed in society. Or are you that clever and divine that you can raise your own house, fix your own car and what not? You can't fix a car by threatening it with legal action, or do a lung transplant on it. You also assume that English is my native language. Nope, Wrong. I do make mistakes in spelling and grammar. I am very aware of this fact. But that's what you get when you speak other languages. I just try the best I can, and so far, you are the only one in here to complain.

        Honestly, if you know for sure I am what you say I am, you're racist, too. You know nothing about me but you know for sure who I am and what I'm like. Talk about prejudice!

        I urge you, in the nicest possible way to stop being an arrogant asshole. Respect everybody for who they are, not what they do. Your answer reeks of condescension. Keep staring yourself blind on status, it will do good things for you.

        Regarding your comment on the accent: I just made a connection between "Fight Club" and "Team America". Nothing remotely racist was intended, although I can see why you think it is. Rest assured, I did not get up with a craving for race bashing. It was the spur of the moment.

        Chive on.

      • Herby Sagues

        So? Nothing you say changes the fact that most Chinese speaking English in China would say "Fight Crub" instead of "Fight Club" (been there a few times, and the accent is the least of their problems when speaking Chinese). I'm not a Native English speaker either, and I don't think accent jokes are offensive at all. I don't know why people consider making a joke about an accent offensive or racist. I don't see the link.

      • yup

        I bet you're a woman and your boyfriend beats you

    • http://www.facebook.com/raphael.johnson Raphael Johnson

      Hilarious…

  • Dr. Lin Zhu

    I know him, he no gangsta. He little bitch!

    Dr. Lin Zhu

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