Oh shiza! (30 photos)

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  • etc4779

    #1 Awesome!!

    • 6_Crack_rocks

      Heres the vid of the banner at the stadium.

    • elliott

      thanks chive for recycling everything from reddit….

    • JKP

      World of Ultras!

  • The best

    #15
    Fishing…like a boss

    • ChelseaRules

      Teach a man to fish and you will feed him for a lifetime. Teach a snake to fish and we're all doomed.

  • thaomeow

    I like to see the end result of #3. And I busted out laughing in the library at #10.

    • spotz

      I wanna see the hair after that hit!

    • Bon_nie

      I sat watching that for about 5 minutes and it was still funny!

    • Underbaker

      I love wipeout, but I really wonder how they get up from some of them hits. Also wonder how thick is the liability waiver book they have to sign to get on that show.

  • Derp

    thats not how you spell Scheiße

  • Adam

    You mean "Oh Scheiße!" or "Oh scheisse!"

    • Dano

      Thank you, I was going to write the same thing.

      Best.,

      D

  • Martin_McFly

    #30 AHHHH!!! KILL IT WITH FIRE!

    • sdago25

      You should see her little compact disc for a hat.

      • Lisa

        I'm so glad those episodes are finally over so I no longer have to stare at that stupid goddamn hat

        • DaddyD

          OR you could watch another show … or watch "The Voice" without staring …

    • Guest

      but bewbs.

  • 2015MID

    #13 Oh what i would do for a girl that can do that!

    • Underhill

      Start taking ballet or gymnastics.

      • Logicyup

        I'm pretty sure she is getting ready for Halloween. She's going as a hammock.

        • thom

          I would think you would go to jail as a child molester. She looks about 13.

          • Eric Cartman

            worth it…

            • poop joggs

              people here a fags. so what if this guys wants to hit that. his life not yours.

              • Clearly...

                …you don't have any young children.

              • Mikeyd

                I'm not sure what being gay would have to do with being against a young girl being raped…but ok

          • superman

            Girls over 18 who look younger than this in the UK not joking either

    • Jake

      Imagine the possibilities!

    • rsjem1979

      You'd do 20 years.

      • 2pumpdump

        Unless you live in Canada. Where pedo's get more rights then the children.

        • Then/Than

          Than*

      • yeah

        Unless I'm only 14 yrs old myself….

    • Diddles

      5 to 10

      • boner

        5 inches would become 10…

    • ChelseaRules

      Pay her orthopedic bills?

    • Biggus Diccus

      Never understood the allure of a very flexible woman. The not so bendy ones work just fine for me. I guess if you want to try out some of the super advanced karma sutra positions it would help.

      • __-__-___

        Kama* Sutra

    • KCCO

      Sit on my face??

  • Sam

    #28

    Good luck tryna get to 9

    • Logicyup

      Yet more proof that superman is a horrible baby sitter.

      • Thatguy

        Challenge accepted.

  • 6_Crack_rocks

    #9 that does not look fun. also a good reason to not play darts with girls

    • Underhill

      That would seriously hurt.

    • Katie

      I don't see myself leaving it in there to go get an xray…

      • Lisa

        Yeah I think we know what the problem is…

    • Not a fan

      Could've been prevented with a little more calcium in his diet

    • Underbaker

      The Coroner is still puzzling over how Achilles died from a dart wound to the foot.

  • josh

    #14
    "turn around bright eyes"……

    • shepard

      Assuming (Direct) Control

    • Buster Cherry

      "Every now and then I fall apart."

      • Underbaker

        "And I need you now tonight
        And I need you more than ever
        And if you'll only hold me tight "

  • MAGSGQ

    #10 is fcking hillarious!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • The best

      Another one bites the dust!

      • MAGSGQ

        Strange Ninja Warrior contestant.

        • Mrs_Conejo

          i always thought it would be awesome to have the ninja warrior veterans take on wipeout.

          • thom

            He deserves that for that haircut alone.

  • coinbank

    #6 #7 #20

    Dupes

    • Joshua

      #20
      "Some people just like to watch the world burn"-Alfred

  • Sydawz

    #30 Is gonna give me nightmares
    http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/tumbl

    • Jonny Es

      (*not a gif)

  • Man called Jayne

    #13 Oh My!

  • Taco_Depot

    #30 WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO US!?

    • http://twitter.com/danieljillm @danieljillm

      To give me something to fantasize about. I have the weirdest boner right now.

  • Csquaredapparel

    #23 AHHHHHHHH

    • Katie

      No way I could eat that

    • Logicyup

      I don't care how good that may taste, it's just wrong. I guess the Japanese don't have that part of the brain the rest of the world has that makes you stop and go, fuck we went to far with this one. Even if it isn't something from Japan, I'm still going to say it is. I'm scared enough without having to worry about another place like Japan.

      • DDGG

        I'm pretty sure it's Korean

        • Logicyup

          Still sticking with my original theory, that bowl of crazy is Japanese. Don't ruin the rest of Asia for me please. I love Japan, but sometimes you just have to walk around with your eyes closed.

        • sam

          I don't know if the Japanese have this too, but yes, there is a Korean delicacy where they eat uncooked squid dipped in soy sauce and oil. Please note though that it is NOT alive. The head is freakin cut in half. everything above the eyes is cut off, which includes the brain. The moving is a reaction to the soy sauce, the sodium from a comment below.

          • tag

            I was thinking that too. No way was that alive, but the reaction was pretty freaky.

          • Green Mountain Bot

            Sorry to break it to ya, but cephalopods (such as the squid seen here) do not rely on their brains to move their limbs. Because there is so much information related to position, grip of each sucker, etc, their nervous systems are very specialized and distributed throughout the limbs.

            Cephalopods are fascinating – I would suggest reading up on the things they are capable of. Probably the smartest things in the ocean outside of cetaceans.
            http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cephalopod_intellige

        • Underbaker

          Nope this one is Japan, here is a description I found of the dish
          "This is a dish called Odori-Don. The dead squid appears to come back to life when soya sauce is poured over it. The sodium in the soya source makes the neurons react giving the appearance that the squid has temporally come back to life. Only in Japan."
          Koreans actually eat live squid, not reanimated ones.

    • Vineet

      This is wrong. 😦

      • Nope

        *wong

    • Johnny Two Toes

      Don't worry folks, it's already dead.

      • greenguy

        *rorry

      • Goodboy

        *forks

    • Jax

      I couldn't stop watching it… creepy

    • Sebastian

      This probably isn't as inhuman as it looks. Squid don't feel pain in the way mammals, bird, and reptiles do.

      I can say that this is the first time I've jump in fear in a long while.

      • Myself

        And you know they don't feel pain b/c …. your a squid? You speak squid? Come on now. Shut up. I get that this thing supposed to be dead so I'm not arguing that THIS one is not feeling pain. But to say that in general squids don't feel pain is stupid. It makes no sense. Pain is a biological response to get the body away from danger to preserve life. Squids feel pain. Like all creatures feel pain. I'm all for eating animals. I just think they should be killed as quickly and painlessly as possible. No torture required for my hamburgers.

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=651999357 Shhadeh Bsoul

          Chill out dude, you don't have to be a squid to know that you do or don't feel pain, As you said pain is a biological responce so leave it the scientest to deside !!
          *clear throat*
          Squids are Invertebrates which means they don't have a dorsal nerve cord, Most scientest would agree that invertebrates don't feel pain. I can assure you that I'm not a squid and again, they don't feel pain.

    • bullshit

      why would you show this?

      would you show a gif of someone pouring boiling water on a dog or a cat?

      • organix85

        It isn't boiling water. It is soy sauce. The sodium causes it to move for some reason. I saw the video on this before.

      • DaddyD

        Sure. If I'll do it to my pet squid, why not do it to my pet dog and cat?

        • Life Aquatic

          It's not a squid. It's an octopus. But since they both live in the ocean I can understand your confusion… 9_9

      • cartman

        shut up hippie!!!

    • sam

      you guys need to understand that the FREAKIN THING IS DEAD. D-E-A-D DEAD. NOTICE the head CUT IN HALF. If any of you has cooked crabs or lobsters at home, you would know that sometimes when you run water over the dead crustacean, it starts to a move a little. I don't know the exact science behind it, but I believe it is residual automatic neural responses engrained into the nervous tissue to external stimuli. Something very similar is happening here. It is NOT being eaten alive, again NOTE THE HEAD CUT OFF, you can see the portion containing the brain is severed. Please, keep an open mind to other cultures and don't jump to conclusions calling a group of people 'crazy' and 'wrong' due to your own misconceptions.

      • MacNCheesePro

        *wong

    • Con-Text

      Meh, half the world has seen Andrew Zimmerman eat worse.

      • Con-Text

        *Zimmern

    • Colin

      its just as bad as the Chinese cooking and serving fish and snake while still alive. Look it up they actually have competitions to see who can do it the quickest.

      • Ghost in the Machine

        …and monkey brains too, look it up, effin crazy, a monkey's brain while it's still alive.

  • whos.mike

    I want a front view of #25

    • Seth_Michaels

      I'll take a look at it too… but I have a feeling…

    • Si1entStatic

      Unless that's a dude with a ponytail. if that's the case then don't move the camera….. Gawd i wish that's a girl…..

      • SARmedic

        lol

    • http://estatelawnj.com JBB

      My exact thought.

      • disturbed

        Put it in the kitchen – that's the perfect wife right there.

  • BigPup

    #2 What happens when you keep Rosie O'donnell from getting to a buffet.

    • Biggus Diccus

      Or getting a gorrila drunk at your party

  • Underhill

    The cutie in #12 definitely needs some handgun training. Maybe teach her to hold properly and then take her to a range with a smaller caliber weapon.

    • thatguy

      OR since she is obviously goofing off you could chill the frick out?

      • Roy1531

        Goofing off with guns, especially with your finger on the trigger, is what gets people killed and guns a bad name. I can tell by your comments you also do not know anything about gun safety or how to shoot!

        • MattKL

          Or maybe there are no bullets in that gun.

          • Rx7doyle

            …and that's why people get shot or have ND (negligent Discharge) happen. Actually, there does look there is a bullet, since there seems to be a "copper like" reflection there. First rule of gun saftey: The gun is always loaded.

    • Aaron

      Also, have her close the correct eye

    • TheAutomaticMan

      #12 #16 George Zimmerman would approve of these pics. Improper handling of a firearm and all….

      • Hang tight...

        Let's hang tight for a moment on this Zimmerman thing. It's becoming curiouser and curiouser. Right now only two things are definitive, we know a kid is dead and Zimmerman should have gotten the fuck back in his car the minute he was told to by dispatch. Other than that there's a bunch more shit starting creep out on this story. Oh, one other thing…Spike Lee needs to shut the fuck up.

        • TheAutomaticMan

          Couldn't agree more, I'm a gun owner, it pains me to see pictures like this and hear stories like the one involving George Zimmerman. Guns aren't universal problem solvers. They aren't made to be brandished and carried for intimidation. All guns should be treated as dangerous as they really are. The only time it is ever acceptable to use one on another human being is if your life, or the life of someone around you is in danger. Its situations like this and pictures like these, that give gun owners like myself a bad name.

    • Matt

      Alright there Tactical Ted. Thanks for getting us all squared away. Also: lighten up.

    • hank1231

      cute, but if she pulls the trigger that gun will be flying out of her hand and probably hitting her in the face.

      • http://thechive.com/ GernBlansten

        No. It would go click. You can see all the way down the barrel to the breach face, a la no bullet in the chamber.

        • Roy1531

          Yes, no one has ever been shot by gun someone "thought" was unloaded! You treat every gun as if it were loaded. I would assume someone that would use words such breach and chamber would agree with that, or maybe you just copied and pasted your comment from somewhere else!

    • Pistol Peter

      i'd teach her to hold a larger caliber weapon. aka my penis.

    • Biggus Diccus

      UHHHHH WHO GIVES A FUCK!!!

    • Ned Ryerson

      "take her to a range with a smaller caliber weapon" a euphemism?

    • guest

      she looks like the kind who only likes large weapons, no idea what to do with them, but likes em cause they make a big BANG!

    • Petar

      She looks a bit like young Anna Torv from "Fringe"! 🙂

    • Vee

      Cute girl with a gun, is there really any reason to argue anything more? If I got shot by her I might be a tad pissed she shot me but at least she's cute.

  • passwordistaco

    #23 seems kind of cruel.

    • Tim

      It's dead.

    • Slappy_McGee

      It's already dead. I believe I've read before something about the sodium in the soy sauce causing it's muscles to spasm. Maybe there's a science person out there who could correct me if I'm off-base.

      • Dsmith

        Yea sodium is used to send nervous signals and do a litttle with muscle contractions, but you also need calcium (learned this in human physiology though)

    • Logicyup

      Yes, to the people who are about to eat it, that is very cruel.

    • Sebastian

      Even if it was alive squids (Invertebrates) don't feel pain as we define it. Only mammals, birds, and reptiles do.

    • Gallus

      Yes, it is dead. The muscle spasm thing is true. I comment below that I've had this in a Korean restaurant. It was good, and fun to eat. I'll have it again sometime.

    • Jason

      I've heard that Japanese porn was weird but…

  • http://www.cupcakesbymartha.com MarthaJeane

    #27 – I bet it seemed like a fun idea at the time

    • Stephen

      I totally agree, it's one thing to kill an animal and eat it, its totally different to dismember a living animal and torture it by pouring what I can only assume is some sort of hot sauce on it before eating it.

      • Adam

        I know… I hate it when my escalator tries to dismember a car

        on a related note, this picture finally proves Mitch Hedgberg wrong… the escalator might actually be broken, not stairs.

    • thom

      I bet whatever caused this started out with a "Here hold my beer and watch this…"

    • THIS IS MADNESS!!!

      I think I'm going to do some CRANK and try this!

    • BSmike

      "This doesn't look like my garage."

  • drbman

    #10 had me LOLLLING alone in my office!

    • Master_Rahl

      gets funnier every time you watch it

  • Verbal_Kint

    #4 I wish there were a better angle on this one…

    • Hmmmmm

      so you can see if she has three arms? Looks like 2 right ones.

    • Guest

      helicopter shot should do nicely.

  • Logicyup

    #8 I'd watch out, that dog looks like it will expect more at the end of the night, and its big enough to take it no matter how many times you say no, bad dog.

  • RVA_KCCO

    #26 That'll teach her not to leave the kitchen.

    • Logicyup

      Or to get a car alarm.

    • Guest

      or to quit being a bitch

      • Dr. Evil

        Isn't overt misogyny a sign of repressed homosexuality?

        • Barak Obama

          shut up and get to your feminist rally dr. evil.

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