If Super Mario were made today…(8 Photos)

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Via Themetapicture

272 40
  • Endo

    True Story

    • Logicyup

      Although there wasn't much to learn control wise, it was still more fun to just run head first into it and figure it out. Can't hardly google a damn thing any more without getting some sort of hit for a WOW tutorial or some other game.

    • CaNaDaaa

      too funny

  • DrLeppiwinks

    Sad, but true… makes me wanna get the ol Nintendo out and play for a while

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=572571966 Craig Millington

      I'm actually attending a huge games night next weekend, starting with Ps3/360 and going as far back as we can, atleast to NES and maybe Atari :D
      And yes, there will be women and beer too :p

      • Splinter

        pics of women drinking beer playing nes plz

  • Kowabunga

    this was so lame.

    • reto

      You're so lame cause you cant accept the truth of this post

      • Kowabunga

        What truth am I not accepting? Capitalism is the relevant truth that I acknowledge and accept, it's why games like these exist today. It's why the chive exists. They capitalize on the number of views and loyalists they have per day, through ad revenue. They don't even have to have us sign up to capture our information for an ad to hold value on this site. They record what we respond to and they know exactly which demographic category we fall under. (i.e. The majority of us will probably go see "21 jump street.") If you're saying capitalism is a truth that is hard to accept, you might be against it, which may be a big assumption based on your comment but less of a stretch from what you gathered from mine. This post was lame, seriously it could have been much funnier. It did not make me laugh, at all. The only thing I like about it is, Nintendo.

        • odb

          Kowabunga, that has to be one of the best posts I've seen on this website. The fact that you recieved 340+ thumbs down just for saying the equivalent of "i didn't enjoy this" really shows how intolerant people are of other people's opinions

          • Markus

            Or it just means they disagree with your statement…don't people still have the right to disagree?

      • DaddyD

        Truth doesn't make it less lame.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1056859652 John McFadin

      You must not understand simple ideas and concepts.

    • DrLeppiwinks

      quit disgracing TMNT like Michael Bay

    • Ken

      It was effin lame!

  • Zedhere

    #8 Actually they wouldn't tell you about the charges. It would just show up on your card after you took all the warp pipes.

    • RiderPrider

      Actually this is false. Nintendo has stated numerous times that DLC is terrible for the industry and it would never sell it.

    • asshole


      • Zedhere


        • MylesofStyles

          Ass-master-cock-blaster (not directed at anyone in particular, just wanted to join in the fun).

          • Underbaker

            Me to! Me to! You really annoying nerd person you! (how am I doing?)

    • thedude325

      Not to mention there would probably be a bunch of ads

  • adam

    gonna have to bust out the ole' duck hunt

    • Sully

      Did you know that a second player can control the duck with a controller plugged into the player two port?
      This knowledge changed my life.

      • dkptig

        W…T….F????? well, thats what im doing this weekend

        • The_Dood

          Yeah, it's fucking awesome. Makes a great party game.

      • david


      • MattKL

        Mind blown!

      • Heavyhand

        How didn't I know or even try this?

        I would even shoot the ducks backwards through a mirror on the wall when I got bored with the game…

        • Chris

          If anyone in this thread played DuckHunt on a regular basis back in the day, the 2nd player thing would be common knowledge.

          • Cereal

            not a true story

          • Heavyhand

            You got me, I enjoy lying about my ignorance.

    • jim

      gonna have to bust out the crt too

  • Gursh

    there's enough suckers out there.

  • Tony-KCCO


  • Swamp1983

    Nailed It

  • dkptig

    to be fair, the buttons were not that complex then. games now arent really that intuitive. "oh so if i press X i crouch, but O makes me slightly bend, but X and O make me get on the ground…ok ya know what, im going online instead." that said, this was funny and pretty true i thought.

    • Negrodamus

      what does this have to do with anything..?

    • jack

      Well PC games were already absurdly complex back then, and no tutorials for us.

    • dkptig

      so games arent overly complex with buttons now as opposed to NES? sorry guys

  • http://www.cupcakesbymartha.com MarthaJeane

    Damn tutorials. Just jam all the buttons!

    • Zedhere

      I want to Jam all your cupcakes into my mouth.

      oh wait, what were we talking about?

  • Elan

    This is BS. Levels existed much earlier than the NES days(Dungeons & Dragons), and were used in quite a few games back then. Mario hasn't adopted experience levels in the last 20 years, aside from the off-shoot RPG series.

    Nintendo is also criticized for NOT having Achievements on their system, and is pretty much known for not having DLC. If "Mario were made today" should just be a collection of Mario Galaxy games, because Shigeru Miyamoto hasn't changed his opinion on the way games should be developed.

    • thomas st thomas

      fuck off dork

    • CorpChivette

      Trolling at its best

    • Fig

      Stupid ass trolls. Go back to Facebook.

    • Rye

      Wow……what planet are you from?

    • Zedhere

      Way to over analyze the comedy there, chet.

      • Elan

        It's not over analyzing when your "If Super Mario were made today" joke goes against everything the company still does today. It's more "If Super Mario were made by some completely other guy/company today."

        • Deadpool

          obviously this was just to point out some rediculous things going on in games today in regards to games of the past, where today social media and money ploys take priority over the game itself.

          They are just using mario as a common ground and recognizable game format. I SERIOUSLY doubt this is an attack on mario itself. ITS A JOKE, SATIRE, HAHA

          • Foghorn Leghorn

            Lookit here son, I say son, that's a joke, son. A flag waver. You're built too low. The fast ones go over your head. Ya got a hole in your glove. I keep pitchin' 'em and you keep missin' 'em. Ya gotta keep your eye on the ball. Eye. Ball. I almost had a gag, son. Joke, that is.

            • Barnyard Dawg


        • Get a life


        • Underbaker

          So Super Mario wasn't originally an arcade game that was made to siphon quarters out of peoples pockets at every turn to try and see what the next level was like?

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1056859652 John McFadin

      You must have a difficult time solving every day problems and using logic.

    • http://twitter.com/McBeastie666 @McBeastie666

      I bet you're the life of the party.

    • Floopa_Joopa

      Or, you could STFU and enjoy the post, douche.

    • Fetts

      You mad bro?

    • tyler

      obviously the state of your virginity hasn't changed in the last 20 years either.

    • Chris

      You should probably look at all the negatives your comment is getting and just gtfo.

    • Nale

      Way to ruin the story bro

    • Come On, Man

      Elan<————————miles and miles———————–>The Point

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1004071857 Matt Gabrielson

      Grats on completely missing the point.

    • http://thechive.com/ GernBlansten

      You must be like a Jedi knight samurai ninja of virginity.

  • SolidusSnake420

    Ahhh capitalism

  • Ian

    The funny thing is that it works. Or you could always try going outside and using your imagination, it's free.

    • Troy

      this gets more un-funny everytime someone says this… zzz…

    • http://twitter.com/McBeastie666 @McBeastie666

      what works? and what is this "outside" you speak of?

      • Patrick

        Paying for extra levels or add-on game play.

    • https://www.facebook.com/LizBWilson Liz Baxter

      Says the person commenting on an internet message board.

  • hungry for donuts


  • Anonymous

    so. true. so true… . Glad I played it back in the good ole’ days :)

  • Stephen

    Where's all the bewbz

    • Dave


    • Negrodamus


    • Verbal_Kint

      The princess is in another castle….

      • Unfkngblvbl

        *but first you must upgrade to 5.2 version with princess options.

  • AllanA

    Life was so much easier back then when you only had the A and B buttons

  • jmark

    i cant live in this world anymore

  • ST33

    It's friday….I need more content :(

  • Master_Rahl

    #8 Definitely not a – shut up and take my money – situation. But they left out zombies or vampires, if it were made today, one of the two would make an appearance… and STILL wouldn't be as gay as Twilight.

  • Sad, but true.

    York, PA

  • Mikeg01sf

    Whos mario?

  • http://siriusswag.tumblr.com Carlos

    And that is why Dark Souls exists.

  • Anon

    Just an FYI, the original posting of this

    to give proper credit to the creator of it.

    • ymous

      they were probably the assholes who plagiarized like shit in college and got away with it

    • okawesome

      The Chive never creates any of their material, and doesn't claim to.

  • David

    Don't forget to buy the Mario DLC that will be released the same day the game comes out and the new DLC every other week!

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