This is all true. Seriously. No really. (39 photos)

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  • thekoog

    Idk bout the rest, but #5 was definitely true.

    • thatdude

      she's definately a keeper !

      • nope

        Hillary Swank.

    • Kari Cali 99

      Chivers- this running "get in the kitchen" joke is not only archaic but its the reason no women have ever touched your junk. Knock it off-

      • George Costanza

        Kari Cali 99 – this running "no women have ever touched your junk" joke is not only moronic but it shows you can't handle a joke.

        p.s. make me a sammich bitch.

    • mia

      idk about the rest, but thekoog is definetly a virgin.

      • thekoog

        At least I can spell definitely.

        • Dr. Evil.

          Isn't overt misogyny a sign of repressed homosexuality?

          • George Costanza

            Dr. Evil your feminist rally is starting without you…

          • duh

            only to fags with their figers crossed

            • duh

              *fingers*………..happy now fags?

  • Bhodi

    #24 Unfortunately, sad and true…shame. Thank you Lt Murphy.

    • Guse

      Okay, time to don the asshole cap: she was famous. It's news. No, it's probably not fair…

      How many people died the same day as Steve Jobs? 1 of them was probably a better man. That's just not the way life works.

      • Bhodi

        I understand what you're saying, just think it's a shame that society's priorities are out of whack. Chive on brother!

      • Well

        I hate to play devils advocate( not really I love it), but the point of the post is not to say that we got the importance level wrong that day it's to say we get it wrong everyday. It attempts to call out and say we as a society need to change and figure out what we really value and what is truly worth the thought. So stating the obvious as you did solves nothing, proves nothing, and helps no one. In the end it's just a way of saying fuck change, I'm going to go buy more Whitney Houston music.

        Thank you Lieutenant

      • maraloc

        Not only that Guse, but Whitney Houston was loved by millions around the world. While I admire Lt. Murphy's courage and heroic actions, he's still part of an army hated by millions of people around the world. Call it what you want, but you can't really compare the two, they are completely different. Of course the world will love one and forget about the other.

        • Guse

          I wasn't going there at all. Please stop supporting me.

        • SilkySapper

          Whitney Houston was still a figure head of American Society that is hated by millions around the world too. Do you really think the Taliban or Al Qaeda if they had the chance to kill her, would have spared her life? not at all, they would have killed her in a heartbeat and trumped it all up on Al Jazeera and the internet.

          You need to realize that it is not the army that they hate, but Western society as a whole, not just America. Why do you think there have been attacks in Spain, France, the UK, Germany, Russia, etc. etc.? Those certainly aren't symbols of America, they hate ALL Westerners

          • JJJ

            worst over-generalization ever.

    • https://www.facebook.com/doreen.manning Doreen Manning

      He's so forgotten, the person who made it couldn't even bother to spell his name properly…..

      • an hero

        Or properly capitalize his rank…US Naval ranks are always all caps.

        • RealNavalSoldier

          uh no Lt. is the correct abbreviation..

          • RealNavalSailor

            Uh..no… LT is correct. Not Lt.

      • Stoopid

        if its any consolation … they spelled Whitney wrong too …

      • SilkySapper

        I swear that a keyboard makes people retarded. A person you think is reasonably intelligent is only so until you see how they type. Illiteracy FTW

        • TheAutomaticMan

          Says the guy who uses abbreviations for three letter words…..

    • Creslin

      I can certainly appreciate the message that this meme is attempting to convey, but they're comparing apples and oranges. One was a pop music icon that spent her entire life in the limelight, the other is an American hero that spent his entire military career in the toilet bowl of the world. How would the American public have known? Who is this directed to, exactly? Is it directed to the media for not providing more information about those that lost their lives while serving our country, or at the general public for not personally seeking out information about each of those who have died while serving?

      • andy candy

        the crazy part is, when the toxicology reports came in 2 weeks later for whitneys death, it was from cocaine abuse and alcohol! i know i was shocked to hear that. RIP soldier

    • KeepinCalm

      The book is Lone Survivor by Marcus Lattrell. GREAT book if you're into that type of reading. $$$ well spent.

      • Bickle

        Seal of Honor is a great one too.

      • RealNavalSailor

        The chapter on the battle for Murphy's ridge should be required reading for every one. Not to glorify war, not to glorify the military.

        To glorify sacrificing yourself in the name of something bigger than you.

        • bruno

          something bigger than you = the whims of the ruling class.

      • ParasiticDrag

        Also, check out "The Mission, The Men, And Me". Can be applied in all area of life.

    • http://twitter.com/McBeastie666 @McBeastie666

      gotta call bullshit on this. not sure why the guilt trip is being laid on us. can't tell what the agenda is, but I'm sure the Lt. is not forgotten by the ones who knew him…just as Whitney isn't forgotten by those who knew her…the difference is, a much larger percentage of the world knew Whitney…and I don't think the Lt. was trying to get the same level of notoriety when signing up for service. Just saying…

      • boldspoo

        The agenda is pointing out the priorities of today's media focus. Millions may know Whittney, but the lack of note for our servicemen is constantly overshadowed by ridiculous news about the number of hits "Honey Badger" received. It's the same thing about Amy Whinehouse – did she try to go to rehab? No, no, no. Too bad. That should have been the end of it, but the media tried to put her into the pantheon of music legends who died early.

    • Smeg

      there is not a Crossfiter that does not know who this man is! I promise you he is not forgotten.

    • arigaa

      Let's not forget about Danny Dietz and Matt Axelson who also died during this same firefight.

    • JPAR12

      While most have forgotten, I have not. LT. Michael Murphy is a Medal of Honor recipient for his actions in Afghanistan; True Hero. Read about his story in Marcus Luttrel's book 'Lone Survivor'.

    • ezwelchman

      think she mighta had some #1 hits and one of the best voices of all time thrown in their somewhere too….but ur right ur right, only famous for drugs

    • labatanga

      Forgotten, so let's mispell his name on the 'tribute,' photo…

    • https://www.facebook.com/brandt.tierney Brandt Tierney

      Minor point, but this poster is somewhat disrespectful in that it doesn't even correctly spell the name of the Lt. Murphy. Agree with the message though.

    • freddy boy

      This very morning I went for tests to the Michael Murphy VA Hospital here in Albuquerque. He didn't ask for, nor would he EVER have asked for, any such notariety. My fellow GIs understand this.

    • John

      Because Lt. Michael Murphy couldn't sing.

      • http://drumusicloudsounds.tumblr.com/ drummer113

        You're probably right or wrong in that assumption. But the one thing he did do was not waste his life; he gave it so that others may live. Houston gave it up because she was a crack addict who had low willpower and couldn't get over her addiction when the guy she married, Bobby, got clean.

        Because Whitney Houston didn't know the value of life.

    • JPete

      Best book I ever read. Luttrell's emotion over his fallen friends is well placed.

      • ParasiticDrag

        What's the name of the book?

    • Gman

      Lt Murphy is only forgotten to those who are fat and lazy, if you do cross-fit the murph is one the hardest workouts you can complete.

    • Daiye7

      The Navy named a destroyer after him. I highly doubt whitney will ever have anything important named after her.

    • Guest
  • http://www.cupcakesbymartha.com MarthaJeane

    #7 the question is over what? Small boobs, yes, a great ass… well I think you need to take a new survey in that case

    • DeDav

      Isn't that weird? Girls with smaller boobs have great asses, and vice versa, big boobs and average ass… Every once in a while though, you get a girl with both, but she's a blond with a duck face in EVERY. SINGLE. PICTURE. SHE'S IN.

      • http://www.cupcakesbymartha.com MarthaJeane

        Now THAT is the truth!

    • drea619

      want vs need my dear, want vs need

    • AregularChiver

      I gave you a thumbs-up for your banal comment MarthaJeane…….date me? ❤

  • Guse

    #19 makes me sad

    • Tava

      I love Shel Silverstein. I read his books to my children all the time.

  • Nickincollege

    #9 That awkward moment when you sprint out of the theater to get a refill before the movie starts.

  • Hanx

    #24 Apparently. The Chive has already forgotten his name..

    • http://www.facebook.com/cheezbrgertreez Jordan BamSham Couick

      Just another example of the internet latching onto a face. Of course we all have mad respect for LT, but take a trip to Bethesda and walk through Walter Reed to see the hundreds upon hundreds who have sacrificed limbs, and seen their comrades killed right next to them. In no way, shape, or form am I trying to make anything he did in that firefight seem like anything less than sheer heroics, but he isn't the only one. I just hate that his face, memory and sacrifice has been cheapened down to some crappy meme banter to prove a point against Whitney Houston. As someone said earlier, apples and oranges.

  • aciekay

    #9 there has never been a truer statement…today. #18 = me last night. #37 too cheap to buy trojans? enjoy your illegitimate child.

    • groggy

      Yeah, #37 baffled me. Durex are way more reliable than Trojans.

      I'm convinced Trojan took its namesake too seriously and intentionally designed their condoms to release their soldiers behind the city gates…

      • aciekay

        what? good god, no. durex is horrible. i remember three breaking during one romp. no thanks. trojan all the way.

        • groggy

          Fuuuck that. I've had the exact opposite experience. Trojans will burst with little more than a glance. Never had a problem with Durex.

          Looks like we can't hang out.

          • timmy

            Jerking off with a condom doesn't count groggy!

            • groggy

              Uh, I'll take your word on that.

  • ass

    #38 Go fuck yourselves

    • andrikos_of_steel

      Was about to say it too… Where is this sign anyway..?

      • Coach

        it is in english trains metro etc….

    • greek

      its a true story, bro 😀

    • http://thechive.com/ GernBlansten

      βρουν μια θέση εργασίας

      • another one

        i am guessing you tried to say ''get a job'' in greek but you kind of failed. Nice attitude hating people
        because a guy with a tie told you from a screen though..

        • http://thechive.com/ GernBlansten

          Translate this:

          Waaaah.

        • sit ubu sit good dog

          just right click when on google chrome and click translate to english….. He said `find a job` ….quite a witty retort really

    • Your true voice

      We all know that German banks saved Greece's economy, for now. When you spend a lot of money, on people that haven't earned it, this is what you get.

      • griego

        you dont even know where greece is so just lay on your eggs and scroll for boobies mate…germany has a huge profit from the situation in greece and those who need to be saved are the banks in greece that are not actually greek… so why dont you just whach teen mom on mtv or something and leave the analysis for people who have some active braincells left! cheers from Greece!! 😉 and that also goes to the 15 likers! 🙂

    • baebae

      u mad bro? 😀

  • DemoPenguin

    #7 , not really. i like small breasts over Large. and im not gay D: and #23 i dont believe she's 43 for one second.

    • sorry dude

      when you got done writing this did you realize you where gay 😉

      • That guy

        Never trust asians with make up on. Even dudes can look better than girls.

    • Notme

      I prefer A cups / B cups myself.

  • Steve

    #1 if her Boobs are in 3d i know i wouldn't give a #$%& about the board

    • didnt see it?

      and didn't Leo try to climb on the board and it turned over, dumping both of them? (then he let her have it)…. just saying…

  • http://echogeo.wordpress.com/ echogeo

    #35
    I laughed.

    • Blah

      Who gives a fuck what you did?

      • halB

        I bet your Mom did. After she cleaned up & all.

  • Csquaredapparel

    #39 good grief!

  • J-Z

    #27
    I don't scroll, just middle click and pull the mouse down a little.

    • sit ubu sit good dog

      Oooooh we got ourselves a smart fucker here

  • Major Annoyed

    #24 Maybe it's because Whitney Houston had two decades and albums that sold millions and entertained and touched the hearts of many, while Lt. Murphy was part of an elite group of soldiers who participated in SECRET missions. I thought the idea of serving and dying for one's country was enough for soldiers, but I guess not.

    • terry

      She also was a crack head. So your hero is a crack head and mine is soldiers that gave their LIVES. She gave us a couple SONGS. There is a big difference. She killed HERSELF with drugs, he died protecting your sorry ass.

    • drea619

      this was the most rediculous statment ive ever seen on the chive: "I thought the idea of serving and dying for one's country was enough for soldiers, but I guess not. " why would serving and then dying be all the recognition needed for someone who makes it possible for you and your family to live happy and free day to day? perhaps when your children and your mothers are serving anf dying because there's no soldiers to defend us, maybe then you will feel different, shame on you.

    • Major Dumbass

      Dude, I'm not an American. But I've read his story and he damn sure deserves all the fame and love anyone can possibly get. He may be fighting in the wrong war but he is a man with dignity and belief. Has the heart of one in a million. You'll probably shit in your pants on the thought of someone throwing darts at you.

    • Lisa

      You are a dick. That is all.

    • Ian

      She also was a crack addicted junky who would be a bad role model for any one to follow, and for the record it isn't Michael Murphy asking for attention but rather those who knew him, fought with him, and were touched by his story and example he set that believe he deserves this attention

    • that guy

      You know, I usually keep my comments to myself, but I hate seeing these things. I don't do it for fame, or glory, or to be remembered. I do it for God, Corps, country, and family. She was a national icon and famous. Of course it'll be worldwide news. As for me, the only people who should care are my fellow Marines and my family. Signed, a Corporal of Marines.

      • chronicLSD

        much respect to you and thanks for everything you do

      • ParasiticDrag

        Thank you for your service Marine. Semper Fi.

      • Mickleludicris

        Dear Corporal , I also usually keep my comments to myself , but a lot more people care about the safety of the troops and I am one of them . Even though I am Canadian , I still am saddened by the U.S. troops that are injured and killed in the line of duty . I appreciate the freedoms I have because of the sacrifice of the many men and women who will never see their loved ones again because they chose to keep their countries safe instead . Chive on Corporal .

    • David

      "I thought the idea of serving and dying for one's country was enough for soldiers, but I guess not." Michael Murphy did not complain about not being mourned properly by America, it was someone who addressed the serious problem that people are mourning the death of Whitney Houston, a woman with questioned morals, over Michael Murphy, a man who gave his life to save his team and his best friend.
      Please just stfu and never comment on anything again.

    • Semper Fi

      I would find a new place to live soon if I were you… Sleep tight.

    • Roy1531

      Fuck you!!!! What you need is a Major ass kicking. What pisses me off about people like you is that soldiers have died to give you the abilty to speak your mind and the cops have prevented people like me from punching you square in the head when you talk stupid shit!!!!

      • James C

        There's no "secrets" about it, go pick up a copy of Lone Survivor by Marcus Luttrell, it tells in vivid detail the story of Mike Murphy and the rest of the heroes that died on that mountain…And maybe next time research a little more before you open your mouth.

    • yeah

      Yeah, you're completely right about her being in the spotlight, having numerous hits, filling arenas, being on tv and movies etc, and his job was to do missions that nobody knew about… so of course she was more famous. But your last sentence pretty much makes you the poster boy for Massengil and Summer's Eve products.

    • santa

      U r an ungrateful prick

    • ParasiticDrag

      As a veteran, I respect your right to spew this mess on a thread. After all, I did fight for it. There are pieces of myself I will never get back doing the things I had to do just to survive, but the Sir payed the ultimate sacrifice protecting the values we as Americans sometimes take for granted. Maybe you've just never been a part of something bigger than yourself. I forgive you for your ignorance and hope you one day see the wrong in your opinion. Like you, I will also exercise MY right to state how I feel. Right before you suck-start a shotgun, go fuck yourself.

    • Eric

      Whitney Houston was a crack head who died in a bathtub. Lt. Murphay died savivng his brothers protecting are freedoms. You have got to be the most ignorant person ever you should be thrown out of this country and deffitnally off of this stie. R.I.P Lt. Murphay

      • Mel

        Why does everyone care so much about some people getting my posthumous glory than others. Most of us didn't know Whitney or Murphy personally so how can we judge their lives and beliefs? Besides, people die everyday – what makes one life more meaningful than another's?

  • http://echogeo.wordpress.com/ echogeo

    #6
    No shit! :p

    • andrikos_of_steel

      Amen.

    • goodguysfan

      I see what you did there.

  • po-boi

    Lies lies lies

  • Cecil

    #11 should read " I know I love him when he wins the fucking lottery."

  • lorycowery

    That's cool, I'll just take whatever girls are leftover then, thanks.

    #7

  • Woodrowrules

    #35 LMAO

  • Scott

    #4 is what lazy people want to think.

    • Anon

      Shup up you pompous prick. You're just the worst kind of person.

      • Idius

        That's what your mom said last night after I donkey punched her and started to laugh.

    • jpadawan

      Mitt Romney makes in a day as much as my Mom does in a year.
      The Waltons, Owners of Wal-mart, have over $80 billion dollars collectively. A worker at Wal-mart earns $7.75!
      The richest Americans are in the lowest tax bracket. The middle class pays the majority of taxes.

      Shove that up your lazy ass pompous fuck terd.

      • McAnonymous

        Sorry buddy. All kinds of wrong.
        The top 1% pay over 40% of the taxes. The top 5% of earners pay more Fed tax than the bottom 95% COMBINED.
        What's your point about the Waltons? So all of a sudden profits are evil? How much work, smarts and money do you think the Walton's put into their business? Someone that works at Walmart isn't forced to work there – if $7.75 isn't enough, then they should look somewhere else for a better opportunity.
        …and by the way. Where do you think the majority of the profits of these evil companies go? Into people's pension funds. Please read. Something.

    • Scott

      Umm… no. It's pretty much spot on. Lazy people don't want to believe it because inaction is easier than action.

      • thedude325

        Well said. People earn $7.75 because they havn't developed the skills to earn more. Why would it be reasonable to give someone money when they've demonstrated lack of motivation. Would they spend it wisely? No.

  • F.S.M.

    #24 is absolutely true. Some old crack head with some good pipes (pun intended) overdoses and the world acts like its a huge deal. Soldiers, firefighters, scientists, etc. die everyday and the media doesn't even mention it.

    • Sub1

      It's not a good pun when you have to say "pun intended"

    • Concerned citizen

      You're definitely correct. Scientist statistically have the most dangerous jobs in the world next to janitorial work. Damn all you test tubes and bunsen burners to hell! You take too many young lives from this world.

      • Bickle

        i bet whitney houston had a bunsen burner

        • ParasiticDrag

          Almost spit my drink all over my screen.

  • Seldi84

    #9 #16 #37 Are all funny and true.

  • Seldi84

    #10 #11 I can agree with those.

    • Underbaker

      I love my wife dearly, but I still do think about fucking her.

  • Coach

    #38 is just bad…. and misleading in our honest oppinion…

  • Psymon Gallows

    #29 the one on the left is smiling in the bottom picture… Other than that, I can't find a single difference.

    • clyde

      On the bottom in the middle is showing too much emotion.

      • Canton

        The ones on the left and right are also showing more emotion than their counterparts at the top. (Also, alpacas are cute and useful. Just saying.)

    • Bob

      Top one makes me cringe… Bottom one, eh whatever…

    • SDM001

      The bottom picture is much easier on the eyes.

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