Daily Morning Awesomeness (30 Photos)

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  • LiveNletdie

    FIRST!!!!

    • Stephen

      You are the embodiment of everything that is wrong in this world

      • Logicyup

        The whole first thing is kind of stupid, but if that's everything wrong in the world to you, please stay in the basement. I don't want to be called to a scene cause someone who has never went outside before or left the internet has gone into shock.

    • CondescendingWonka

      Condescending Wonka says, "You were the first to comment on this post? Tell me how many people must think you're cool…."

      • Jawbone

        "You used a tired meme as your username? You're a cunt." is what you probably hear more often. Cunt.

    • LiveNletdie

      i'm FIRST you're scond….deal with it

    • Brotato

      If i ever. meet you in person. I will make it my duty to make sure each and everyday of your life is nothing worth waking up for. You will live in your dreams. Real life to you will be nothing but a dismal existence. Consider me Liam Neeson, and you just took my daughter, by posting "first" on The Chive.

      • Brotato

        I hope you can hide better than Osma Bin laden, because I will find you LiveNletdie96.

        • Jawbone

          Your faggot fantasies impress no one, brohomo.

          • Case

            I got a good laugh out of it..

    • bobby

      Alright, calm down everybody. LiveNletdie was first. You can't take that away from him/her. If that makes you so upset then you have some bigger issues to deal with.

    • Sluttypanda

      sounds like you have some exciting stuff going on in your life

    • Guest

      Congratulations!

    • ophiel

      in 5000 years when this post is a museum piece, people are going to wonder, "who was this LiveNletdie? He must have been a great king."

  • Wet_tosti

    #21 just a friendly neighborhood spiderfart at your face!

    • Esr0d

      That girl is not a New Yorker. She seems too surprised.

      • Big Apple

        Surprise buttfart.

        • Little Peach

          As opposed to an ear fart?

          • Underbaker

            How about Brain Fart?

    • https://www.facebook.com/tj.dumser TJ Dumser

      Only in NY.

  • Dr_Zoidberrg

    where are the hot chicks?

    • Anon

      thechive isn't only a site to post half naked chicks on it you know

    • some bloke

      It's refreshing to have a randomness post without the attention whores! Well done Chive!

      • figleaf

        Amen, brutha!

      • lagein

        My thoughts exactly!

  • dashete

    Really happy I wasn't taking a sip of my coffee when I saw #1

    • MonkeyMadness

      Really?

    • Taco_Depot

      really glad i didn't have a boner b/c i would have finished in my pants.

  • James

    #30 possibly the coolest thing ever

    • Logicyup

      The flexi-lite hobby planes are real popular where I live, but I'd love to try one of these. I'm a moron though, with bad luck, so I'd end up falling out the bottom somehow.

      • Brutal Deluxe

        Funny you say that – when I saw him start running down that slope, I thought the ending would be him tripping and the plane taking off without him.

        • r@f

          How do you fucking land?

          • Tankus

            There's a whell underneath, check carefuly

          • JHL1

            You come in low during the approach. Just something you have to do when you land.

    • Loud@theClouds

      Man I was thinking the same thing, the landing seems like it would be a problem tho

      • L/A Bob

        Did you not see the wheel under the glider?

        • ddd

          yah, for all the perfectly flat runways in nature

          • MAMCUBS

            Landing is usually the priority and part of the fun of flying. You think they just run off of mountains to their death?

            • Stupid Hurts

              yes

    • keen_owl

      To infinity.. and beyond!

    • Dr_StrangePants

      How does one Steer it?

      • aav

        How does one capitalize random words?

        • JHL1

          it Is actually Pretty easy to Do.

        • ROR

          How does one simply walk into Mordor?

    • labatanga

      Super cool….Not going to lie though, I'd be scared out of my mind if I tried this.

    • ThatJoshGuy

      Take all my money!

    • Si1entStatic

      I would get in too much trouble with that….

      "Pilot to Bombardier…. open bomb bay doors……. release last night burrito bomb….."
      "Bombardier to Pilot copy, BOMBS AWAY!!!…. "

      Followed by panicked screams and car crash sounds

  • Rollout25

    #20 Are there any Chef's Chocolate Salty Balls?

    • Daughtingtonggg

      I'll let you play with MY salty balls, to each his own I guess.

    • Logicyup

      He can no longer makes those. Scientology has rules you know. Nothing like pissing off your alien god..thing..whatever it is.

    • tapsnapornap

      Just put'em in your mouth and suck'em!

  • aaron

    #2 we've all been there and

    #12 made me laugh…damn kids – gotta love em…

    • aaron

      fail on my part…#15

      • Chove

        But Chivers didn't seem to mind!

  • Logicyup

    #1 #20 #29 I'll take 1 of each please. And that town has to have the coolest mayor ever

    • RelacksOne

      #1 took place in my home town L.A 🙂 check out the map http://g.co/maps/kv6pd 🙂

      • blahblah

        Los Angeles Mexifornia, what a town.

    • https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=648475223 Christina Seelke

      #29 had me stuck for a minute…..I think I'm drooling.

  • http://twitter.com/jahrodnz @jahrodnz

    #4 Fu*k school, get b!tches!

    • Matt

      @ UNL. He does what he wants!

    • t.j.

      Dr. Winters. He also rides into class using only 1 roller skate.

  • Rollout25

    #25 YES! YES! YES!

    • this guy

      fuck the po-lice! except for this guy. he seems pretty cool…

  • jizzMarkie

    #29 Mother of God!

    • Luis

      I'm surprised nobody has said "Only in America" lol

    • Lavmdmv

      Genius

    • daveh873

      This reminds me of every drunken night ever. Walk into any diner in NJ and just say pizza fries. Best food for when you are wasted ever invented.

    • Ned_Plimpton

      Took the words right out of my mouth…. I could go for a basket of these bitches right now!!!

    • misslisa

      American friends keep telling me that they have no idea what poutine is, but that's the general idea right there! I'm surprised the whole "poutine" thing hasn't caught on more in the States 'cause you guys would seriously love it! It is truly awesome. Poutineries are even better 'cause they get all funky with it, like this place in Toronto: http://smokespoutinerie.com/Menu.aspx

      A lot of you will likely be very interested in the Pork section of the menu…bacon all up in there. 🙂

      • Kodos

        I make it!! (well, my take; I can't always get fresh curds.. my daughter loves it!)

      • Jack o' lantern

        This seems suspiciously like spam. Either way, cool story

        • misslisa

          It's not! Promise. 🙂 I just used that poutinerie as an example 'cause I'm familiar with it…and pointed out the Pork menu 'cause, well…bacon.

          The minuses make me sad though. *sigh* KCCO I guess. People seem especially crusty overall lately. Maybe from lack of Chive tee availability. :p

    • lakegurl908

      … i fell in love when i saw this…

    • http://www.facebook.com/Ajamin24 Adam J-Boogie Amin

      where on gods green planet called earth, can i obtain this deliciousness.

  • asadd

    wow a dma without bitches

    • jesus christ

      you stay classy, asadd (virgin)

  • Ashley :)

    Shit. You know its time for bed when the DMA shows up.

  • MattKL

    #19 Amazing the guy can get that far up with balls that big.

    • Ramenissodelicious

      Probably in South Korea – this is the way they move people into or out of an apartment – it looks as crazy as it is.

      • Dr_StrangePants

        High-rise next to a Rice-Paddy ✔
        Blue Roof Tiles on house below ✔
        And two of those ugly-ass Plastic-Greenhouses in the distance ✔

        Gotta be Korea

    • dagleja3

      There is not safety rail on that platform.

    • Boobman

      Seems legit.

    • thatguy

      I really can't say f@ck no enough to this.

    • FortBurg

      This makes my balls tingle just looking at it.

  • Beavis

    No girls??

    • onethirdjewman

      i don't really get the negative feedback. it IS kind of weird for the Chive to not have some element of sexiness in the DMA, isn't it?

  • Veldman

    #20 and #29 bring them to me

  • lylsmorr

    About to head to surgery and needed a few good laughs. Thanks chive #25

    • Brutal Deluxe

      Could be worse. I could be about to head to surgery.

    • john long

      Hope it goes well!!

    • this guy

      good luck, kcco

    • lylsmorr

      Thanks everyone. I kept calm and things went great. Chived on when I got home. Great success!

  • tiernana10

    #30 want

  • Gorgeousglenn

    Gf y u no make pizza fries

  • Ray

    Can't wait for the chive shirt sales ❤

    • Theresa

      Why? I couldn't get one even if I sold my soul

      • Melissa

        That's because your soul is worthless, you filthy whore.

        • Theresa

          Now you can't prove that

          • Melissa

            Did you get a shirt?

            • Theresa

              I did! Somebody must want my dirty dirty soul haha!

  • Trav1121

    #16 A cut scene from the Disney version of 12 Monkeys, starring Rafiki, Bruce Willis and Brad Pitt?

    • person who knows

      MEW!

    • Pylo

      My mind went into a strange time warp after seeing this. Weren't these hidden in a video game?

      • https://www.facebook.com/leemaaa Reema Asendar

        Same here, glad I'm not the only one!!!

      • JBinNC

        Yes, the Lion King on SNES, but I think they marked the half point of the level or something.

  • http://whatmovieshouldiwatch.wordpress.com/ mhuard5

    #7 unbelievably cool, but creeps me out. I kept waiting for a blink

    • TheAutomaticMan

      i found this completely amazing, very impressive.

  • D3AN

    #9
    LIKE A BO… Oops, nevermind.

    • Dude Imbibes

      Free man-gina procedure in…..3, 2, 1

    • onethirdjewman

      i shed a tear for him. not just for the pain, but the poor bastard was off to such a great start

  • passwordistaco

    #20 is disgusting, finally ruined bacon.

    • http://www.spachethespatula.com/ Rachael

      Oh, man. You really couldn't be more wrong.

      I'm sorry for you loss. Of taste buds.

      • passwordistaco

        Only thing I lost was last nights' beer.

        The world supply of "Spicy chocolate covered Oh God here it comes again!!!!

        • http://twitter.com/McBeastie666 @McBeastie666

          open your mind…because that is some awesome shit right there.

    • BaconForPrez

      One does not simply ruin bacon.

  • Kpro

    #29 Living in 'Murica! delicious, delicious 'Murica

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