Real shortsighted quotes from famous people (20 Photos)

Via Theweek

  • BabyFart Magizax

    Happy easter fellow chivers/chivettes

    • Paula_

      Just say: "FIRST" asshat!

      – Fan testimonial: "I love you Paula and I want to have deformed babies with you!"

      • etcrrisapedophile

        you better watch out, you have been putting some funny ass comments up here lately, you might end up with a yellow thing next to your name…

        • Paula_

          I know, I know….
          <img src=""&gt;
          – Fan testimonial: "Paula plz for the love all dat is holy I'm born n raised here in Maui n half da reason I get on thechive is to see da arguments n comments from u. Plz plz plz post a pic or email cuz ur either a dude or a real hottie. – islandboi"

  • Julie

    albert einstein for the win #18

    • gmen

      im calling bs though. i doubt someone of his genius would not show signs of potential at a young age.

      • dgd

        Seems like I have read a few bios that portray Einstein as a lousy, unmotivated student. I guess once he found something he was passionate about he really excelled.

      • that_ALBANIAN_guy

        He didn't become brilliant until after he became a patent officer in Switzerland. Before that, he dropped out of almost everything he did…almost everything, except for AWESOME!

      • stash

        he had a learning disability so it is completely true, that until he learned to work around it everyone would have thought he was stupid and dumb.

        • RandomTask09

          He excelled in school since he was a kid. In fact, he had to teach himself advanced math bec. school was holding him back. And the 'failed at math' was a myth.

          • Cameron

            Yea, he was studying calculus at the age of 12

      • Brian Jensen

        yeah, that little "did poorly in school" tidbit comes from an edition of Riply's Believe It or Not published in a time when the internet couldn't call bullshit.

        • kigero

          Yeah he was good at school but it bored the hell out of him, which coursed him to be restless and a little disruptive

  • Jason

    First bitches!!!!

    • BabyFart Magizax

      Your third bitch

      • tapsnapornap

        Who are his first 2 bitches? We want to know!

      • Ron Burgundy


      • Guest

        His third bitch did what?

      • Nick


    • cartman


    • SirCtheIII

      Good for you. Your prize is earmuffs and a blindfold. Go play in traffic.

  • KeepCalm617

    #7 was just a bit of an understatement…


      im not literally first but i will always be in my mind! im miles ahead u chive faggots

      • Tyler

        and in your mind i bet you're real proud of yourself too

    • dumb

      not really, just really dumb, by 88 aids was already a pretty huge thing, there are still denialists today, just like for climate change

    • chito

      House of Numbers

  • LucretiusCarus

    #6 It's totally true. Unfortunately it has managed to evade oblivion. Damn you, Woody Allen.

    #13 The Declaration actually had its first public reading on the July 2.

    • Arin

      King George would not have received the Declaration until months later when the ship arrived from America. So having no idea about the signing, July 4 would have been just another rainy English day.

    • LucretiusCarus

      I wrote in error, i meant to say that the Declaration was agreed upon on July 2. Not first reading. Text was ratified July 4. Suffice it to say that Adams thought July 2 should have been remembered as Independence Day.

      • Wanderhome

        No, it shouldn't have. We had not officially declared independence until the Declaration was ratified, on July Fourth.

      • Paul

        all the signing didnt happen on the 4th some signed as late as the 8th , they started signing it on the 4th.

    • BruteSentiment

      Doesn't matter, the King George quote is fake, anyway. Turns out he wasn't girly enough to keep a diary.

      Not surprisingly, French King Louis XVI was.

      • Right on.

        That is not the only apocryphal quote on here. The Einstein one is false as well. And I'm having a lot of trouble finding a reputable source for the Newton Baker one.

  • Sean

    Don't buy your cheap plastic "made in China" only use once then throw away stuff from Wal Mart folks… poison which is slowly killing this great country. The store and the tickytack "buy this crap for one day" holidays. Sheesh!!!

    • etcrr sucks dick

      easy killer….. don't down the mood on this day, because yesterday I got 5 KCCO T-shirts!! yahtzee

      • Trav1121

        I am sure you and your 4 closest ebay friends will be very happy. A-hole.

      • Grimm

        5! No wonder they always sell out so damn fast! it's things like that making it suck for those of us who happened to be at work when they went on sale!

    • darsh

      but i bought my tv stand at walmart… if i throw it away… oh wait a minute they have tv mounts for sale at walmart today.

  • Oddie Monsta


  • Terrence

    #5 They should have listened.

    • yep

      How this 140-year-old woman has lasted on TV? She must have more blackmail files than J. Edgar Hoover.

      Either that, or she threatened to have sex with the producers unless they hired her.

  • Ryan

    #2 is correct.

    • Smartass

      Sensible and responsible people do not want to have anything to do with politics or politicians. However, we still want the right to choose which snake-oil salesman gets to live in the White House.

      It's a matter of principle.

    • Lunchbox

      Are you saying that there are no sensible and responsible women, I see what you did there.

    • Sean

      We need to put an end to this type of thinking, who wants to end women's suffrage?

    • Epitomizer

      It cannot be denied that we were excelling exponentially until women were allowed to vote, and now we are declining in the same manner (economically speaking).

      • Paws

        We peaked well after the women got the vote. On the other hand, when the 18 year olds got it…

    • Jacqueline

      i guess that means your shortsighted.

  • Scotsman

    #13 He should have used rocket mail.

    • that_ALBANIAN_guy

      A telephone conversation.

      Bob: "Yeah, did you get it?"
      Joe: "No. Not yet. When did you send it?"
      Bob: "Just a couple of minutes ago. I used Rocket Mail."
      Joe: "Oh snap! What's that?"
      Bob: "Its mail, delivered with a rocket!"
      Joe: "Wait. You just launched a rocket at my house?"
      Bob: "No, no. Rocket MAIL."
      Joe: "Huh. This should be-"
      Bob: "….."
      Joe: "[beep beep beep beep]"
      Bob: "Did you get it?"

    • Nargon

      actually, nothing happened

  • darsh

    #5 and they still let her broadcast with that face.

  • Ken

    #2… had we only listened, we would have no hipsters… get back in the kitchen where you belong!

  • Wet_tosti

    #9 Chaplin joined a contest for chaplin look a likes once… He became third! The man was a genius!

    • Riley Freeman

      Sadly, with most movies to date this is far from a shortsighted quote. Half of my favorite movies are those of Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton, or others of the silent era.

    • ya kent

      ye this quote doesnt belong here, its actually bang on, he's not saying that sound is bad, but that its just not necessary… i think "the artist" proved that even today great (and successful) films can be made without anything more than what they had in chaplin's day.

      • Elan

        That was more or less my thought when I read that quote. "This isnt shortsighted at all. Chaplin didn't say we shouldn't have it, just that we don't NEED it." And in a lot of ways, he's right. And we should've listened before we ended up where we are today, where studios spend billions of dollars on special effects that do nothing for the overall story or quality of a film. "Does Jabba the Hut need to be made out of CGI and follow Han Solo around while having a conversation?" No, George Lucas, he doesn't.

    • anteater

      Glad to see some folks coming out in defense of Chaplin. Movies were more universal in the silent era. Except for the intertitles, which could be easily replaced, nothing needed to be translated. Chaplin's movies could, and did, speak to everyone on earth regardless of where in the world they were. Something was definitely lost when sound was added to movies.

  • SquirePete

    #5 Too bad this pwophecy didn't come twue. Thank you, Bawbwa, fow yeaws and yeaws of of intewvews

    • JHL1

      I read that in Morgan Freeman's voice.

      • majorfathead

        Try it in Samuel Jackson's "Do you know who Marcellus Wallace is" voice

        • Vincent


          • majorfathead


      • SquirePete

        LOL!! Just sitting there, in a room? Are you sipping some ice tea? Is there something on the wall that looks like an egg crate, but is soft, and spongy, like a twinkie….like a twinkie?

  • KeepCalm617

    #17 if by "oranges" you mean "cheesesteaks", then yes, yes they are.

    • darsh

      and stink bugs.

      • mattythegooch

        and Fresh Princes.

  • REL

    #13 It's not like King George was emailed the Declaration of Independence on the same day. It took weeks before he even heard about it, so it wasn't exactly short-sighted in this case.

    • FLA

      It's ironic is the point

    • arTee

      Yep, there's no irony here at all. Move along people.

    • SDCableGuy

      He had it written down, right? He could have gone back and added an asterisk at the bottom saying "nevermind, today we lost the colonies across the pond….fuck it! We'll keep doing our own shit over here"

  • darsh

    #17 No, just Wawa's and banks. Everywhere

    • Theresa

      I love Wawa….their mascot is Wally the Wawa goose

      • darsh

        Yeah, and im certaintly not complaining, at least if you forget to stop you come across another one within a mile

    • 13Aliens

      And craft breweries!

      But then again, they are everywhere now…

  • Theresa

    #10 Flour hurts too

  • Spartacus

    #13 …. Meanwhile in America..

  • GernBlansten

    There should be a LOT more Steve Balmer quotes here.

    • JHL1

      I'm glad they left out the Etcrr quotes though.

  • Unfkngblvbl

    #14 Wow, there was talk of flat screens in the '70's, when we had nothing but a 200 lb 3'x3' wooden cabinet with a glass bubble sticking out of it.

  • @McBeastie666

    #16 – Edison may have been right. I think most kids learn more from movies than textbooks…

    • theyellowfever

      And how many classes use slideshows and videos to get the message across? Most if not all of them. And that's not even accounting for the millions of people who don't go to college but still wean information from documentaries, television, and the like.

    • FLA

      It's mainly because textbooks use correct grammar and my generation has no idea what grammar is.

    • dirtysteve99

      This is sadly true, videos are not a substitute for books/text.

    • manilovefilmsdylan

      Yeah, he was dead right – only wrong in declaring that it would be a "few years" and not several decades.

    • dadawg77

      The education system has evolved much more slowly then the tech industry but with organizations like the Khan Institute, Edison may be proven right. Our Prussian model probably isn't the best we can come up with.

  • savagecabbage

    Rob Schneider will win an academy award…..

  • Don't Tase Me Bro

    # 11 Oh Microsoft. Little did they no that apple would. Be one of the top grossing companies in the world. With a stock that's does nothing but continue to climb through the roof. But your probably right I should sell sell sell.

    • Chiv3r

      More like spell, spell, spell. Public school much?

    • WTF

      your a derp

    • vandinz

      All thanks to Bill Gates I might had, without whom there would be no Apple today.

  • Alan Smithee

    "I believe it is peace for our time." – then British Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain after the Munich Conference, September 30, 1938, less than a year before the start of WWII

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