Daily Morning Awesomeness (30 Photos)

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  • Stumped and dumped

    #8 "Why haven't you returned my calls? You said you loved me.."

  • Silent

    First to say #26 face down… ass up… you know the rest.

    • CJ Garcia

      (sigh)… I would trade all my 999 rupies, 20 secret shells, red and blue potions, as well as my jar with a fairy in it to fill the rest of her hearts…

    • CJ Garcia

      Fuck the L-3 Master Sword, I want HER at the end of the trading sequence!

    • Anon

      That nerd has an AMAZING ass… need to find a few more of her..

    • Nombre

      That's the way I like to f*ck

    • This Is Me

      We need a high-res version of this for wallpaper.

    • Sam

      That is an absolutely breathtaking hiney …

    • truth

      Strippers gonna strip

    • adam

      Cab East i knew that Tattoo looked familiar i need to wear my chive shirt there again lol

    • dominantone

      what I liked as a kid just slammed into what I like as an adult. I must say I'm more than happy with the result. Thank to whomever's ass this is.

  • Him.

    #10 Quack kills..

  • James Munn

    #12 AWESOME!!!

    • If you said so...

      I'm thinking photo shop, for about 20 reasons. Oh and this one pixel, you know that one… THAT one.

      • F.S.M.

        Agreed. Fake. Way fake.

  • MattKL

    #26 Damn good start to the week!

    • Nicee :D

      She even made slots to slide your hands in for better control…chicks like a Wii remote.

  • Rollout25

    #5 Did we just become best friends? "YUP"

    • _maxPain_

      good call sir,,loll

  • jdubs21

    #26 Uhh Yeah! I would rescue that ass any day

  • Fish..

    #21 Mission Impawsible.

    • Chuck Vanderloo

      you are an idiot.

      • Fish..

        someones not as creative.. sad

        • Kyle

          Someone has low standards for being "creative".

          • Fish..

            Is this about me and your mom? I said it wasn't about her weight we just didn't work out..

            • Sean

              A "your mom" joke? Really? Is this 50 years ago when those were actually original or funny, or are you just retarded?

  • Logicyup

    #26 Why yes, I do think I would. Though I doubt I'd be allowed.

  • ICUP

    Dear Chive,
    Now that I have your attention, WHERE THE HELL IS MY MILITARY CHIVE SHIRT!!!!!!!!

    thank you

    • Sean

      They sent it to someone who deserves it, not a whiny bitch like you

      • ICUP

        If expecting to receive something that I paid for with my hard earned money makes me a whiny bitch, then I guess I am.

    • Silver*fox

      We're still waiting for ours too!!

    • mijo69

      I got mine Saturday

  • Bob Lee Swagger

    #12
    Damn, and I thought the Whomping Willow was the toughest tree

  • jason

    #29 one of these rivers carries a lot of poo. I'll let you guess which one

    • Bob Lee Swagger

      Wow. Good one. *crickets*

    • sean

      im guessing its the one you rode in on

    • Easy cheesy

      It’s the left side.. that’s a easy one.

  • Bob Lee Swagger

    #18

    Seems legit.

    • jason

      Wow. Good one. *crickets*

      • TheHero

        You mad everyone thumbed down your "poo river" comment above? Because it seems like you're mad.

  • Logicyup

    #16 So, if I were to paint some trees, that would make me an artist too? What ever happened to needing skill to be considered an artist? Think that term is used a little too loosely lately. There is a difference between making a statement of some sort, and art. Paint and an idea, no matter how good or bad it may be, does not alone make one an artist.

    • Bob Lee Swagger

      Calm down dipshit, the trees look awesome and you've never done anything that remotely compares.

      • Logicyup

        Lol I refuse to argue on the internet, but I will say this. I never said anything about how it looks, personally I like it. Simply stated my belief that in my opinion, whether right or wrong as opinions may be, I don't find it to be called art, it's just painted trees. I paint my house with the idea of how important houses are to us and we should take care of them, but no one has ever accused me of being an artist for doing so. No angst in my statement, just an opinion. Lay off the coffee, you seem a little amped up. Other than that, rage on and have a nice day. 🙂

    • noegod

      I call myself an artist. I also call myself a aspiring Art Teacher. And if there is only ONE lesson I wish to teach everyone, it is this: Art Is Subjective!!! Meaning, there is no such thing as good or bad art. And if there is is no such thing, then there can be No Art! Which also means, Everything is Art!!! No one persons opinion matters! To each his own! KCCO!!!
      ~ Noe C.

      • ZORRO

        Tried looking for a real job? or are you occupying your city?

        • Epitomizer

          My thoughts exactly!

      • LOCKSMITH

        The entire world likes to call you a lazy ass bum.

      • DEEP SOUTH

        You will not enter the kingdom of heaven with all of them tattoooooes. You one of 'em homer-sexubals I been hearing 'bout?

      • If you said so...

        I have no idea why this man is getting thumbed down. He fucking nailed it. Good job man, keep spreading the good word.

        • DEEP SOUTH

          What are y'all? His bitch? What good word y'all talking 'bout? You homer-sexubal. Ama go eat ma' fra' bologna sammich.

      • Guest

        And every kid gets a trophy and there is no right or wrong answer and you're a fucking idiot

        • just sayin'

          Oh yea? well you' mama so fat she has her own area code.

      • noegod

        Guys, I have a job ok. I'm a hard working, father of three, who's not afraid to beak a sweat, bust ass, and provide for his family! I've got bills to pay just like all of you! What I was trying to say is that there isn't any one thing that can be considered better art than the other! And I really fucking hate stuck up, snobby people who think they know what art is suppose to be! What does it matter anyway what one person says is art?! Why can't this guy paint some trees? Who cares!? It's like that one song on the radio you can't fucking stand but they're gonna play it to death! If you don't like it, just turn it off! KCCO!
        ~ Noe C.

    • Katie

      Who said the trees were his only qualifications for being referred to as an artist?

      • strangerdanger

        I think the statement was less about this particular person and more about calling anyone with a paint brush or a bent piece of metal an artist. This guy does paint a lot of trees and grass though, but also has some interesting looking sculptures.

    • Juni

      Can't agree more. Every weirdo keeps calling themselves as a "artist."

    • http://twitter.com/McBeastie666 @McBeastie666

      you've got dickhead art critic down pat though.

    • StaticFX

      looks shopped to me.. especially the second picture.

    • Dirty_Dingus

      I think they by 'Artist', they mean that he lives in his parent's livingroom and has a pirated copy of Photoshop.

    • Rinzler

      Art is about creating an experience or emotion within the viewer. Pretty sure this does that.

    • Alpha0010

      I thought they meant that he is an artist, and he did this, but this in and of itself does not make him an artist, but I do agree with you.

  • Mr X

    #26 you can just hear the "treasure chest unlocked" music while looking at that magnificent hump

  • fuckoffetcrr
    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      Still laugh every time I see this 🙂

      Hugs,
      Paula
      – fan testimonial: "Boot phone up. Now would be a good time to install JuicePlotter. Use as normal. Do not charge, let the battery run down completely."

  • fuckoffetcrr
    • etcrr's goat

      still funny!!

  • RandomTask09

    #14: Balls of steel, I guess.

    • syd

      nah, if you watch soccer regularly you see these fake injuries all the time. i guess that's why they don't stop the clock during matches.

      • snooze

        It's not soccer it's FOOTBALL FFS

        • Stick

          Chive's based in the United States, it's football.

          • Stick

            Soccer, rather

          • Dr_StrangePants

            American Chiver
            who knows for a damn fact that 1/4 of the people on American Websites are International Users
            And is willing to concede that the favorite American sport is properly called American Football to distinguish itself from the other.

            • p dangerously

              nah.. American football is a tad rougher. this is soccer

    • stonewall_79

      I think Chicharito miss the right ball LOL

    • The Mad Zak

      No, it's cuz soccer players have vaginas instead of balls.

  • http://twitter.com/jahrodnz @jahrodnz

    #14 Balls of steel! #26 Damn!!

  • Ballen

    How does painting a tree blue prove they are essential to our survival? Some people are so fucking stupid.

    #16

    • http://twitter.com/McBeastie666 @McBeastie666

      and I'm sure you're cooking up that cure for cancer as we speak.

    • Skip

      My guess would be that he's a tree hugger trying to show we take trees for granted, and by painting them blue it makes them much more noticeable.

  • Sean

    I want my wife and sons back. She died two years ago from an accidental overdose of pain meds and I lost the boys shortly thereafter to the fathers that abandoned them for most of there 8 and 10 years that I hadn't adopted. I still have our two girls, who are amazing and keep me wanting to be here. I cried all day today wanting my family back. I'm not one who normally cries often at all, year two however has been harder than year one. Thanks for taking the time to read this. Take care, hug your loved ones.

    • This man.

      Damn man, god bless.

    • Logicyup

      Not sure this is the forum for this topic, but regardless, everyone needs to be heard sometimes. So I will give you a thumbs up and hope all goes well and you find your happiness.

    • Anon

      Chin up and stay strong.

    • Bobby Light

      Sean why are you whining about this random shit on TheChive? Either way, you should try suicide. It makes all of life's problems go away!

      • saladfingers1

        That's not funny man. You don't know what we're dealing with here. He may really be depressed. Just in case, Sean be strong and fight for what you can save.

        • Morgan Freeman

          Sean: MAN UP. You have 2 daughters to take care of. Sack up and stop bitching on the internet at 3AM, and focus on being a great father.

      • Andyyyyyyyyyyy

        You don't deserve theChive.

        • TheHero

          You don't deserve air to breathe.

          • Andyyyyyyyyyyy

            I'm talking about Bobby Light, that guys an ass hole. Telling someone that could be in a bad way to kill themselves, that's pretty heartless.

            • Internet King

              What are you, the internet police? Why is the guy on here randomly crying about this stuff anyway? This is not the place for it.

              • Katie

                You're not the internet police either. Sometimes people need help. The chive is supposed to be a community of people who help each other. Just because they didn't make a post about this guy doesn't mean we can't help him.

                Sean, stay strong. Be there for your girls and focus on them. You are all they have now.

                • sean

                  HAHAHAHA You dumb bastards I was trolling. I'm not married and I don't have any kids (that I know about) I was just bored Thanks for the LULZ tho, I'll probably do this again soon!

                  • Rye

                    That was a douche move Sean. I hate you

                  • Him.

                    Lol Troll… Not the right Sean but good try though…btw you're a dick

                  • Alpha0010

                    Counterfeit troll sean^
                    sean =/= Sean

                    • Alpha0010

                      sean = / = Sean
                      Stupid auto-emote

                • KidK

                  No, he's right it's actually NOT the place. Sean, if you are having issues, go get help on one of the millions of sites ABOUT THE TOPIC, not a site where people come to have a good time and laugh… thanks for trying to make your problems ours too though, how nice of you.

      • WhoDatTiger619

        Bobby…I don't think you are the type of person who belongs on the Chive. Your viewpoints and statements are the antithesis of what most of us Chivers despise. Maybe you should go try imanasshole.com or soullessbastard.org., instead.

        • Skip

          WhoDat, I hope more people scroll down to read your comment. Granted, there are better forums out there, but if someone needs to vent let them vent. Remember the KC in KCCO Sean. and try to find help in a forum that doesn't have any bobby's in it.

      • Rye

        Your a fucking douche bag troll

      • Amy

        Come on now. That just isn't right. You really should think before posting stupid stuff that comes to mind. Some people just need to be heard and what you said is NOT constructive. Sean, take some joy that you still have 2 beautiful little girls in your life to live on for 🙂

        • Alpha0010

          That was a fake Sean who took credit for it being a troll

    • Lisa

      Sean, my heart goes out to you. As a child who was raised by her Dad, but abandoned by her father, I can tell you this: Your sons know who loves them and who wanted them regardless of their biology. They were old enough that they will always remember you. Hopefully you still have some sort of relationship with them. I hope their fathers are smart enough to let you be a part of their lives because that's what's best for the kids.

      As for the suicide crap said by others, anyone who takes that way out is a selfish inconsiderate bastard. I know you've got your girls to take care of and I don't think you'd choose that option. I'm just saying it's a bullshit way out of pain. There are professionals who can help those who are this far gone as well.

      If you come back to the comments and read this, click on my "Lisa M" name with the 93 by it. That'll take you to my intense debate profile. It's linked to my facebook. Go ahead and send me a message there if you want to.

      I hope that you and all of your children will find peace and strength in each other, now and always. Hugs hun. Big hugs.

      If this is someone trolling though, I feel sorry for you. Pretty damn pathetic.

      • Sean

        LOL you dumb bitch, I already admitted I was trolling, thanks for the wall of text though HAHAHAHAHA

        • Cory

          If you look at Lisa's intense debate profile you'll see she's anything but dumb. I know her, irl. "Bitch" in her world means Beautiful Individual That Creates Hard-on's. Yep. She's a bitch for sure. A bitch I love.

          If the real Sean comes back here, if he isn't a troll, I hope you and your kids find peace.

        • Rye

          Fuck your an insensitive prick Sean. Get the hell out of here no one wants your kind of bullshit on this site. You are truely a douche bag king troll.

          • http://www.youtube.com/user/seanogrady01/featured Sean

            Guess thats the problem with not having a profile on here. I am a widow, the 26th of this month will be two years. Yesterday I got thru Easter, today is my daughter's 8th birthday.

            I know it was off topic, I know this was not the place for these types of things. Just feels good sometimes to say things to people you'll never meet, and get feedback. The Chive and its Chivers… I mean cmon, who better to vent too. I knew there would be negative words, hadn't thought of someone writing there name as Sean and saying my words above were lies. That's lame.

            • Rye

              That was pretty harsh people like that are truley trolls. All the best too you and I hope things get better for you Sean (the real one).

            • Sean (the Real One)

              Sean- Keep your misery to yourself, or go to a site where this kind of thing is discussed. We all have issues, but we don't discuss them here BECAUSE THIS IS NOT THE PLACE. Thanks for bringing the mood down though.

        • Alpha0010

          Also a fake. Different "Last active" time

    • yogifbaby

      Hello Sean. My deepest condolences to you and yours. I do not know you but you are in my thoughts and in my prayers. I too lost my wife last year and although we had 2 beautiful children together that I love dearly but there is still a hole in my heart from where she was torn from. I lost here due to complications from pneumonia, she developed a staph infection while in the hospital. She would have been turning 28 this coming August. "They"always say time will make it better…. However this is not true. Birthdays,holidays and anniversary dates pass that often are a brutal reminder of what has been lost. I wish you the best Sean ,KCCO and God bless.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002797763199 Yogesh Bisineeru

        If you ever need a friend or would like to talk about your loss without being trolled you can get at me on FB… God bless

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002797763199 Yogesh Bisineeru

        If you ever need a friend or would like to talk about your loss without being trolled you can get at me on FB… God bless…….. p.s I responded under yogifbaby

    • Gabriel

      stay strong stay positive and when in doubt kcco, theres more love happiness and prosperity in this world than you could imagine mate, you just have to beleive and have faith in the people this crazy universe deemed fit to survive through all madness with you. Keep calm chive on. " There are two ways to live your life, one is as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as though everything is a miracle" -Albert Einstein-

    • Gabriel

      And may god bless you mate, you and yours deserve it, youll be in mine and my familys prayers. I cant imagine what youve gone through but may your path be blessed.

  • Anon

    #29 is really cool

    • jason

      it looks like doo doo lol

      • KidK

        Jason, you are clearly either 5 years old or functionally retarded.

    • https://www.facebook.com/wgrichardson William Richardson

      It looks cool, but they have a serious silt/erosion problem.

      • Raoul Duke

        It's a glacial river and non-glacial river meeting.

  • RICCO

    #22 that’s awsome.

  • SALADFINGERS1

    #22 and #28 funny.

  • https://www.facebook.com/phoenixpwns Glenn 'Phoenix' Yri

    #28 Mingception

    • N8orius

      #28
      Holy crap!

    • KeepCalmDriveOn

      A meme within a meme

    • CLee

      Chinception

    • elbruces

      We need to go derper.

      • bh4q

        I think you all meant "Nailed It."

    • jojoleb

      omg i can't believe he exists 😛

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