Quitting jobs I don’t have (Video)

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I’d take this up a notch and break up with girls I’ve never dated. Sorry, Blake Lively.

Related videos on theCHIVE

  • etcrr

    This reminds me of the Guy who went into Denny's and started making his own burger saying that he was the new manager and it drove them crazy, Of course they guy ended up being arrested lol

    • Yo Mamma

      The girl at 0:20 FIND HER!!!

  • Ouboet

    Quit all the jobs!!

  • cld

    i'm sure there are videos funnier than this

  • Banana

    Mac … this sucks

    • Zimmerman

      Banana and cld (above) You both remind me of my mom – you're both just tired old pussies who are too scared to do anything like this so you bother me with inane comments when you should just go into a gated community and get shot.

      • cld

        if its ur mom i'm with……….i wudn't mind ;)

      • noegod

        So, you want your mom shot?

    • banananah

      you goddamned impersonator! I will kill you!

  • thegrass

    I thought it was funny, even after waiting through a 30 sec ad :(

    • realzoo

      It was funny…..and no ad (chrome adblock).

      • Dr. Fapenstein

        Thanks, I didnt know that existed. Downloading right now

  • Fr2xedom

    You just tell me and I'll tell them to stop… priceless

  • Matt


    • Meh


      • Matt

        I luvs u – just wanted u to know.

  • Oliver

    White people?

  • awhite2020

    This is the first thing in a long while to make me genuinely laugh!

    • Keith

      You don't surf YouTube enough.

  • Trav1121

    This was ok. But still the best 'I Quit' line/scene is 'Fuck you, fuck you, You're cool, fuck you!' from Half Baked. Makes me laugh just thinking about it.

    • Markpong

      I think that was "Waiting" not sure it was in half baked

      • Trav1121

        Nope. Definately Half Baked, B. :)

        • Steven B

          No, it was Waiting. It was a scene near the end of the movie when the new guy 'snaps'

          • Trav1121

            Not the one I was talking about. When the Mexican guy quits Burger King or whereever. That old dude gives the thumbs up cuz he is cool. Haha Britney Spears did a mock for one of her videos of it. The mexican guy was in it. Waiting is the junk showing one. Weird but also funny.

          • Robospanker

            There is a similar scene in Waiting at the end when the new kid snaps and tells everyone off and then does the goat, but the "Fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, fuck you !" bit is definitely from Half Baked. The best is the old dude giving him the thumbs up.

  • Dan

    "Do you still want me to come in on Tuesday?" He basically got hired while trying to quit a job he never had, that's fucking awesome.

    • login

      George Costansa shit right there

  • http://www.cupcakesbymartha.com MarthaJeane

    The tears are a great touch. Cracked me up every time.

  • Pants

    Now here is one helluva douchebag.

  • DUde

    "What do you want, White people?"
    if that's code for drugs… Yes.

  • http://www.funnypicturespro.com/13279/quitting-jobs-i-don%e2%80%99t-have-video/ Quitting jobs I don’t have (Video) | Funny Pictures Pro

    […] From: theCHIVE » Owned […]

  • Ouboet

    Bring back Things That Bounce Thursdays Mac!! (please?)

  • tflo

    the last 2 seconds of this is hilarious. this man is a genius of sorts.

  • MickeyJim

    These Corona adds have got to stop. For the Love of God, they suck so hard.

  • JB

    This is awful.

  • Dan E

    Aha, I knew Chinese restaurants only hired family.

  • N8P

    Chive why the hell would ANYONE break up with Blake Lively??? That is like winning the lottery and giving every penny away!

  • Chris

    Expect a video submission in the next month or so. My buddy just told me that if on my trip to Vegas I break up with a girl I've never met, he's buying a round of drinks. Expect some good footage.

  • GRoy


    This is at my college. Glad we could represent and contribute to this wonderful site.

    • Drew

      Fire Up Chips!

      • Onions

        I thought that Library looked familiar!

  • Chorizo

    I love lamp.

  • Helmer

    This is so weird!!

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