That’s totally not shopped (30 photos)

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  • BabyFart Magizax

    #6 I love me some kate upton

    • Ken

      That's a huge football!

  • MICHAEL

    #15 Where does he get all of those wonderful toys?!

  • Edge

    #26

    Coke – The Real Thing!

  • BabyFart Magizax

    #8 is just weird… Very weird

    • Lil John

      Dude… I passed out and the MOST FUCKED UP dream!

  • Brian

    #10

    Get used to it haters, 'cause come the 2nd term, he ain't gonna have noooooo reason to not go all out.

    • His White Half

      Typical.

    • KeepinCalm

      cool story bro. zero chance Obummer is going to get another term. He's lucky he's not tried for treason and hanged from a tree (not racial for all you sensitive types). I'd say the same about a white pres with the same record. barry was a novelty. and will soon be unemployed xD

      • Dan

        Not with Mittens as the Republican candidate.

        • Plurp

          Sorry Dan, but if Mitt stays on target, focusing on the $5 Trillion in debt run up in the last 4 years, the do nothing democrat congress, the failed stimulus, unemployment, the ruined relationships with our allies and the scandals – Fast and Furious, Solyndra, et al – obama will lose big. Especially since all he can possibly run on is his pretend War on Women, "Fairness" and how Mitt and his wife put their dog on the roof of their car.

          If obama wins another term, the United States and the idiots who live here deserve its coming third world status.

          • KeepinCalm

            <img src="http://i43.tinypic.com/iw1zb6.jpg"&gt;

            Very true…

          • Osgood

            Did you know that every Democratic president left a lower level of unemployment when they left office than any Republican president has when they left office? Ya, google it. The independents will elect the next president and right now, they lean toward Obama, why you might ask? Because we're tired of the far right wing christian nutjobs, that's why. Although I know Mitt is somewhat of a moderate, he still panders to the fundies and he says things we don't like so he will not capture much if any of the independent vote, so get used to four more years of Obama.

            • thedude325

              Did you know that every democratic media member and politician has lied to you because they want to control every facet of your life? Power is a scary beast my friend and republicans do it to. If your doubtful of this look at SOPA, PIPA, ACTA, ObamaCare, (and all of the crap that comes with it that nobody has read), agenda 21, etc.

              • Toronto

                What the fuck? Are most of the Chivers fucking Republican shitheads?

                • Obamasux

                  No. Most Chivers are sick of paying for lazy people that don't work and live off the government. You no like? You stay in Canada. And keep you're "health" care system. It suka anyways.

                  • its_forge

                    Well it's a darn good thing then that unemployed people and poor people are very nearly THE least expensive thing the government spends money on. You want to see REAL freeloaders, look at the defense contractors and oil companies, those muthafuckas don't pay a dime in taxes and get billions and hundreds of billions in subsidies, to say nothing of the sweetass no-bid contracts for trillion-dollar planes and boats and missiles that we apparently MUST have in order to keep fighting against guys on horseback with bombs built out of fucking coffee cans.

                • Bambam

                  I'll take being a republican shit head over a suckass liberal dink any day of the week and twice on sunday.

              • That guy...

                You are missing 3 HUGE pieces… NDAA, Trespass Bill, and NDRP look THOSE up

          • its_forge

            You'd have a point if even a single thing you typed there was even a little bit true. And if we go with Mitt and the Ryan budget plan Obama's 4.2 trillion will look like pattycakes compared to what the REAL debt professionals will do to it. The CBO and the GAO have already said Ryan's plan will add another 4 trillion to the debt in just the next seven years.

      • Osgood

        Treason???? What has he done that is treasonous? Is starting undeclared war treasonous, W?

      • Ryan B

        Dumb… For anyone to say that Obama has a zero chance of winning a 2nd term either doesn't follow politics at all, or is constantly tuned in to FOX News. And hung from a tree? If that isn't racist I'm not sure what is. Though I will also say that Obama isn't guaranteed a win either. It'll be a very close race. But I predict Obama will come out on top.

        • Jeff

          Nothing racist about keepinCalms statement. Run along now and plug yourself back into cnn, msnbc, or where ever it is you get your info. And if bam bam does win it will be due to liberal dipshits such as yorself. God bless and good nite. Whoops scratch that…cant say god bless in a public forum.

          • Ryan B

            I know you can't understand this, because you're one of those idiots I was talking about previously… So I guess anything else I write in response will be pointless and a waste of time, as nothing can penetrate the FOX NEWS bubble you're in. Nothing gets in, nothing gets out…

          • MeMe

            Look at the polls… Obama is dominating Romney… In Ohio he is ahead by over 6 points. If Romney loses Ohio it's over and done with. It's going to be a tough race but no way Obama loses, sorry Republicans your paradigm is about to get turned on it's head.

    • Dan

      Sad part is that if he loses, the Reverands Jackson and Sharpton will run around screaming the US is racist and cause riots in cities. And not get into trouble for it.

      • http://twitter.com/McBeastie666 @McBeastie666

        Yeah, that won't happen.

        • http://twitter.com/McBeastie666 @McBeastie666

          what? you may want it to happen to justify your racism…but there isn't going to be riots if Obama loses…c'mon….let's get real people. there's enough actual facts out there to justify voting against him…why not try to use those instead of hypotheticals that make no sense.

          • Dan

            You don't know anything about American history at all, do you?

            • http://twitter.com/McBeastie666 @McBeastie666

              where in history did an outgoing black president cause riots?

              • KeepinCalm

                LMAO…is that a trick question? Good point tho 🙂

      • its_forge

        No they won't, that's fucking stupid.

    • Red

      This Socialist piece of shit is going to get fired.

      • Bob

        It's funny how afraid people are of socialism…you do realize that the public schooling system is socialist, that the military has a socialist medical insurance. Pull your head out of your asses, so some research and stop being sheep

        • Mickey Mouse

          Not to mention police, fire, education, etc. People really need to understand political systems, Socialism is not equal to Communism yet conservatives use them interchangibly.

          If its not die-hard Capitalism or drapped in red, white, and blue then it has to be socialism, really? really? come on people…

        • mises

          Oh yeah and look how GREAT those systems are.

          • Bob

            They actually work pretty great, it's nice to think that no matter how poor a family is, their child(ren) still have an opportunity at getting an education. But that free education only goes so far, you can look at countries like Norway where education is paid for, all the way through college. because we live in a country where people care more about what somebody wore at a random award show, education, public safety, and service jobs aren't getting the full benefits. And when Micky Mouse was referring to police, fire, and education he was talking about their health care that they all equally get. But again because we would rather Jersey Shore and fund things like 16 and Pregnant; their health care is good but could be better.

          • its_forge

            They fuckin' work! Can you imagine privately-run firemen? "Yeah we see here your account's past due, we're not gonna put out your fire until you're squared up there, sorry. Oh and the corporate offices aren't open until 9 Pacific time on Monday. Wait, Monday's Memorial Day, guess it's Tuesday then. Have a nice evening!"

            • WillyPGuts

              You don't have to imagine it. Private roads, privatized public services in cities across the nation—all huge failures exhibiting great inefficiencies and that overwhelming suck up taxpayer money.

      • AnyoneForCoffee

        Europe is a hotbed of what you lot call 'socialism' (though you really do need to read up on what Socialism actually is, as most of you clearly haven't got a frickin' clue) and consequently has a far higher quality of life than the US.

        True story.

        Oh, don't start on with that "Europe is bankrupt" kneejerk crap. That's another thing you really should read up on instead of unconditionally believing everything Fox News spoonfeeds you.

        • SadeShadz

          So they aren't bankrupt? I know people who live there and they say that things are bad…

        • mises

          You're joking right? Spain, Greece, France, Ireland etc….are in a mess of trouble. It may not be because of their respective "socialist" programs but the EU is clearly failing. P.S. Socialism doesn't work for any number of reasons either.

          • Rep. Corrine Brown

            *your

            • KeepinCalm

              *FAIL

          • abc

            How would you ever know the EU is clearly failing? maybe without the EU things would be a lot worse…

            and simply saying socialism isn't working for 'any number of reasons' isn't exactly a valid argument against socialism..

          • its_forge

            A little bit of financial difficulty is not "failure." Read non-Fox-supplied news and open your goddamn mind a little.

        • thedude325

          I'm sorry man but communism/socialism are intended to do the same thing. Concentrate power in the hands of a few. It's a nice theory, which seems to benefit the people. In practice, it has never worked. They say if you want to know what the future is like, look at the past. Shit, look at the present. It doesn't take a genius to look behind the paper thin facade of "fairness". It's hard to look at the bills proposed and passed by administrations, with socialist agendas, and think "Nothing's wrong here". The president was recently given the authority to detain and kill United States citizens, without a trial. I'm not an expert but I know that this is wrong. This is not what this country was founded on and stands for. And there's a reason that people immigrate to America and come to America for healthcare, instead of going elsewhere.

          • http://twitter.com/McBeastie666 @McBeastie666

            you don't think Bush/Cheney era brought on the laws that allowed something like having the President have the authority to kill US citizens? this is post september 11th mentality…not socialism.

            • http://twitter.com/McBeastie666 @McBeastie666

              not to mention socialists don't usually make it easy for corporations to be considered people not have to pay taxes. and a true socialist wouldn't bail out the 'mecca' of capitalism…wall street. but yeah…let's make the conversation about healthcare and how different the republican candidates stand on healthcare is from Obama's….oh wait.

              • thedude325

                Didn't say I liked Bush. "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety. " And all the repulican canidates, with the exception of Romney, have radically different views on healthcare than Obama. I don't like Romeny either, but I would rather vote for him than Obama. Romney, I guess, claims to have changed his views because he "says" he will repeal Obamacare. I'm actually really pissed off that Romeny is about to be the nominee, but at least he's had a real job. He has more experience than Obama in terms of making economic decisions and holding leadership in public office.

                • WillyPGuts

                  Well, Obama has been president for nearly 4 years. So…he has more experience that Romney at being president.

          • its_forge

            "I'm sorry man but communism/socialism are intended to do the same thing." You don't know shit, dude, I didn't even read any of the rest of what you wrote because you don't have any idea what you're talking about.

            • thedude325

              "Intention". Not the same thing. I love it how you guys attack the person and not the idea.

              • its_forge

                Please, man, they're not. Basically you're saying Holland = the Soviet Union. That's fucking stupid. Please stop being stupid.

                • thedude325

                  Ok. Is socialism not intended to pave the way for communism? Are we talking Marx & Engels "socialism"? In Europe, there's sort of a mix between democracy and socialism. Socialized health care railroads,etc. Even in the United States we have socialistic programs: medicare, medicaid, social secuirty. Please help me understand. Because if socialism is: the government is going to make everybody buy government health insurance or pay a fine, fuck that.

                  • WillyPGuts

                    Marx described communism. According to Marx, communism was the inevitable successor of history to capitalism. Capitalism would provide the necessary technology, infrastructure, and goods that would allow for a communist society to exist. A communist society–according to Marx–would have a revolution leading to a short-term dictatorship, eventually giving way to a society that has no government (it is anarchy), but is instead self-organized individuals incentivized to be productive not by "concentrating capital", but for sustaining the health and quality of life of a community.

                    Unlike communism–which, as Marx believed it would be, is a form of anarchy collectivism–socialism describes any sort of system in which the provision of goods or services is financed by taxpayers. Socialism comes in many shapes and sizes, and is a product of capitalist society. Communism, also a product of capitalism in theory, is a complete paradigm shift in the incentive mechanism of a social structure–while socialism basically describes a form of goods/service provision within an advanced capitalist society.

      • Osgood

        ha, from the guy who calls himself "Red".

    • cerebro

      Hitler phones Obama

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    • cerebro
  • 80's Baby

    #5… seems legit…

  • TU_Joe

    #3 #6 NEED!

    • its_forge

      Think you're going to have a little trouble acquiring #6.

  • http://www.cupcakesbymartha.com MarthaJeane

    #29 if the slide wasn't there I'd think that bra was a tattoo…

    In fact, I'm trying to figure out if it is or if it's just part of the shop

    • MattKL

      They need to start making that though.

    • uhh

      probably body paint

  • Winston

    #11 Oh Condi, you so NASTY!

  • Woodrowrules

    #27 They make a cute couple

  • GunnerX

    #11 Subtle but funny as hell

    • Ray

      Spit my water all over my desk when I saw this one

  • mike

    #17 i would love for this to happen next season in Dexter

    • Dooley

      I don't because then I would have to watch a Justin Bieber show I want it to happen in real life

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1136777686 Alex Bartlett

      it would make up for season 6 if they just opened season 7 with that scene haha

  • BigPup

    #17 I SOOOOOOO want this to happen.

  • LucretiusCarus

    #27 Taylor Lautner almost doesn't look like an ugly fuck with Taylor Swift's face. The other way around, however….

    • The_Dood

      Who?

  • http://echogeo.wordpress.com/ echogeo

    #27
    That is downright disturbing.

  • Oddie Monsta

    #29 where is the funding on this?!?!

  • electric boogalo

    C'mon Chive, I'm all for you making internet money – I love your site – but audio commercials when I open a post is super obnoxious and intrusive. I'm cranking out some tunes at work, check the Chive, and some douchebag starts talking about some crappy product I don't give a f**k about? Then I gotta search all over the site to turn that shit off. Lame. Can't it be muted and I can click on sound if I want to hear it (never)?

    • skwee

      try an ad blocker my good man Mr. Boogalo

      • Lev

        We need to keep that shit somewhat on the down-low. Not to sound all hipster, but if ad companies figure out that the majority of the population is using blockers, they will find a way to neutralize them.

    • geez

      Ad Block Plus. Will change your life forever, well not forever. but it will change your week

    • Underbaker

      Come on, be honest, you were secretly looking over the Chive in the cube farm and that ad made everyone else do the prairie dog thing wondering where it came from and you almost got caught. I'm one of the IT guys who knows where and when you been on the internet, but it's cool just Keep Calm and Chive On, because if I rat you out I might lose my chive connection too.

  • http://www.facebook.com/heyitscarlos Carlos Rodriguez

    #17 If only…

  • kramerftw

    #29 actually not a bad idea!

  • https://www.facebook.com/DannoRules Danno Maurer

    #3 NOT ALIENS!!!!

  • Vent187

    #17 do it Dexter, you will be a hero to many.
    #19 living Kanye doll..

  • saltygary

    Why isn't there one yet of the 2-Pac hologram and the star wars ghost scene? This needs to happen photo-shoppers.

    • http://twitter.com/McBeastie666 @McBeastie666

      seen it on other sites so it's only a matter of time it's on here.

      • saltygary

        Just saw a vid where the Lea hologram from R2 was replaced. Someone did a killer job:


  • Blake

    #19 breaded + mf lyrical genius = gay fish

    • Optimus_prime

      This is really starting to freak me out

    • TDub66

      You, my brown-eyed douche

  • jhf60

    #5 — This, unfortunately, would not surprise me.
    #12 — Now … that's funny, and well-shopped as well.
    #27 — What was shopped?

  • Dan

    #28 I'd love it if it wasn't shopped, and was my front door.

    • donuts

      this is not shopped.

      • Spt

        and it is his front door.

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