I’m not gonna sugar coat it, kids scare the hell out of me (41 Photos)

  • Baobabs

    I paused at #16 until I realized that it was just PB

    • Cowboy1354

      I know of a few stories of "what you thought it was" it happens more than people admit. Usually it happens if they wake up early and are confined to a crib/playpennd it's worse than you can imagine.

  • Jaives

    #11 serves him right but $2 for a hook game? seriously?

  • Turrebo

    It's not the kids making a mess, it's the parents allowing it (and grabbing a camera to make hilarious pictures of their kids moments before their offspring is being bitten/strangled or otherwise put into danger, but hey, you gotta laugh, don't ya…)

    • Turrebo

      I think I made some mistakes with my grammar in the above comment. Kids don't usually have offspring.

  • Max


  • Gallus

    #9 and #38 – Both sets of parents need to have their @sses kicked. Either or both of kids could end up dead – then the dumb parents would wonder what happened.

    #19 – That brat can try that move with one of my cats. My cats take no crap and the claws come out immdiately. The kid would end up looking like a jigsaw puzzle.

    • First Strike

      Are you kidding me? There is nothing wrong with these pictures and the parents dont need there asses kicked. Its obvious you have some irrational fear of snakes if you really think these children are in danger. Why are you even on TheChive? Shouldn't you be on Youtube looking at cat videos or posting judgment somewhere else?

      • kurko

        Why would a man have cats anyhow is beyond me.

  • WTAF

    #1-41 plus a million more…reasons I never ever want kids!!

  • A2_tha_MFK

    #9 is an Australian Diamond Python, a very placid type of python. I've rescued some many of them, never bite unless you grab at them instead of open palms, letting them move through your hands. The girl is totally safe, unlike an Anaconda which some Americans seem to love as pets, until they realize just how big they get. Anaconda's will (try) to eat just about anything. Diamond Pythons are more of a small bird and rats type Python.

    • darstrokling

      Yeah but can't any ol' large as f%&* python squeeze the living s%!t out of a baby/child?

  • hokey smoke

    #39 I'm wondering where the beer is, too…..

  • Secretly hate my job

    #19 is why I believe gingers have no soul

  • yup

    There is a whole lot of bad parenting going on in this post…

  • Ming-Ming

    #19 Scott Hartnell as a baby

  • http://twitter.com/Speedstripe @Speedstripe


    If I where that little guy's father, I'd frame that ticket, and display it above the trophy cabinet.

  • JLo

    #19 i think the cat is David Carradine reincarnated…

  • http://clickexposure.bigcartel.com/ Kristen

    wow. 41 reasons why NOT to have children…not that I needed this, I've already decided long ago that I am never going to spawn. This just gave me more reasons why I know I'm making the right decision. 🙂

    • Kristie

      They also make life exciting and give a ton of meaning to every day.. these are just small snippets of the hell they raise. Sometimes they are sweet and cuddly 🙂

    • Guy

      Yeah, I have two and you can avoid most of this stuff with a little supervision. Although, every now and then, let them make a huge mess. They make up for it when the say they love you or give you hug. If you don't want to have kids that's fine but just really condiser the long term. Make sure it is what you want not what seems to be easier.

  • drbman

    #6 hadme laughing!! but then most of the others wanted to make me arrest the parents of these poor children!

  • Kelly

    #39 Is that a turtle? I like turtles.

  • Piper

    #19 O'Doyle rules!

    • Billy Madison

      disappointed I can only thumbs up this comment once.. 😦

  • Kristie

    #36 something tells me it wasn't even the kids that made this mess :/

    • Chivettest

      That is my nephew and niece and they LOVE glitter, this wasn't as bad as the time they colored their entire bodies with makers.

    • http://www.facebook.com/Charlierexasaurus Charlotte Ann

      Why wouldn't a two and three year old have gotten into glitter and dumped it everywhere? Completely beyond all manner of reason to think that they did, huh?

  • CorwinNorway

    #19 haha.. Seth Rogen lookalike kid

  • http://www.facebook.com/samuel.angliss Sam Angliss

    #19 Carrot Top childhood photo?

  • Hippie Hipster Not

    Kids don't scare me but, raising them in this FUCKED UP world does. Most of those picture should be labeled Parental Fail

  • A BiPolar Guy

    As a dad of four, I see your messes and raise you playing catch with a hammer, messes made with poop, 8 year old daughter with leg gashed open – it was so unusual a wound they took pics in ER l because they wanted to to show the interns, getting called while on a rare night out with the wife to be told your son dove off a roof into a pickup full of junk at camp and was enroute to the ER and so much more. Raising 4 kids is not just a job, it's and adventure. Last one is 18 in 2 weeks. Light glimmers at the end of the tunnel.

  • Lisa

    Excuse me while I go get my tubes tied

  • Jordan

    #32 ice cream all over body= BEST. DAY. EVER!

    • Doc

      I'm pretty sure that's just a big tub of butter. I'll go ahead and say that being covered in butter =/= the best day ever

  • noegod

    I call my three kids The Breasts! They put these cute, tiny terrors to shame! And I love my Beasties! They're my favorite horrible little headaches!

    • http://twitter.com/abrasive_punk @abrasive_punk

      The breasts? Can I switch to calling them the boobs then?

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