I bet you didn’t know…(17 Photos)


Found via Acidcow

Advertisement
Advertisement
  • Kilo

    I love fridays!!! Almost as much as hump day 🙂

  • Ron Burgundy?

    And throwing a watermelon is considered a Valentine… #11

    • Brutal_Deluxe

      And throwing a banana is considered foreplay

    • tv_paul

      If it's a crab apple does that mean you gave them an STD?

    • Candy

      I thought throwing a watermelon was considered a concussion.

  • Highlander

    #17 bullcrap

    • Kilo

      Its true! I have a couple. They dont all fruit at the same time though.

    • titan04

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fruit_salad_tree

      Technically true, but not naturally occurring on this planet…

      The rest of the %'s are BS though, as is all statistics… everything works with a sample size of 1.

      • Grant

        56% of all statistics are totally made up. Yup.

        • http://cinemaplastique.tumblr.com MigraineBoy

          64% of all people know that.

          • A BiPolar Guy

            26% of people know it but still believe statistics politician say.

    • thatguy

      This is misleading. The tree is made by grafting together various fruit plants into one. That is like saying "There is a kind of dog whose coat is covered with pennies" and showing a picture of a dog that has had a bunch of change glued to it.

      • Brutal_Deluxe

        Is that taboo or something? Because if it is, I totally never made a grenade cat.

      • figleaf

        FWIW, that kind of grafting is significantly harder than merely gluing pennies to a dog.

        • doogie

          but the point still remains true, its not a naturally occuring tree that i could grow from a seed.

        • Chris

          Have you ever tried to glue a bunch of pennies to a dog? It's hard.

      • mindingutter

        I read this as "coat covered with penises" Also weird.

        • http://dinkus.blog.com Emzilla

          I did too. xD

    • krfm

      50% of the time it works all the time.

  • ChrisDG74
    • Tuff Guy

      Wtf does this have to do with the post?

      Stop thumbs upping him!

      • KeepinCalm

        PB & J Vodka. try not to kill yourself this weekend, darwin is a muther fucker.

      • Shazam

        Hey, there's a post about ya!
        #1

    • SlimtwigMJ

      Pretty awesome stuff.

    • pretty smile

      It's only ggod for shots

    • thorthechiver

      IT'S PEANUT BUTTA JELLY TIME!!!

    • mrjimmyos

      I gotta ask someone this, how the heck do you insert images here?

    • Edd

      It's actually terrible and tastes like bread.

  • m.c.

    #13 is legit. Even when its not in my pocket i feel it.

    • Unfkngblvbl

      Every fucking day! I call it a "phantom vibrate" though.

      • MonkeyMadness

        I constantly feel and/or hear my work phone after I have gone home forthe day and I don't even take it home with me. I hate that phone.

    • Snipes

      I used to have this, but I think it was just nerve damage.

    • ConstableDubs

      I call this a "phantom text". I always think I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket, then I pull it out and there's no text message.

  • Herp_Derp

    Sad but true. #1

    • Underbaker

      What surprises me about this is that there are ONLY 4.

    • deleted9943363

      Still a better name than Snookie…

  • Bov

    Cool

  • Cookeez

    #14

    Is there a Bacon flavored Vodka?

    • MCA

      Yea it's called bakon vodka…no bull shit

    • sternsucks

      make it. you can just infuse the vodka with bacon.

      • RET

        INFUSE THE BACON WITH VODKA. Shit…sorry for the caps folks.

        • NOAM CHOMSKY

          no caps were in order. if you infuse your own it is much better than the store bought. just sayin

        • CAPPIE

          and it was too hard to go back and change the caps?

          • Carl

            YES

    • Falthor

      yes but I heard it is absolutely horrible… one of the only things that doesn't taste better with a hint of bacon.

      • BetterThanNothin

        It's great in bloody mary's. You need to try 3 olives "Dude" vodka. Tastes just like mountain dew!

    • haeddre
      • Herp_Derp

        I think I love you!!

    • Katie

      Yes and it tastes like what I would imagine dog food tastes like.

      • Katie

        It's especially horrible as a bomb (with redbull) which I had to do in Ocean City MD for the "Bomb Squad" contest at Mackys

  • Ned_Plimpton

    #4 Did she jump from 10ft up??

    • pablo

      after she fell the guy thought "thats a bad bitch!" than slapped a ring on her finger.

    • Tuff Guy

      Thought the same thing…. Methinks she was looking for attention, not to kill herself.

      • Groggy

        Some girls jump from Eiffel Tower in Paris…..some take pictures of their asses and upload them to various websites.

    • Cecil

      What woman isn't seeking attention?
      I don't know though, People have survived falling out of airplanes and such, so if dude had a ragtop maybe?

    • MonkeyMadness

      She was wearing a skirt and no panties and she fell on top of him jacking off in his convertable. Instantly impregnating her so they had to get married.

      • Devin_Medrano

        You win the internet for the day.

      • carl

        Public masturbation in France is A-OK!

    • bba

      anyone been to the eiffel tower…how the hell could a car get within jumping distance?

      • passwordistaco

        dudes got a point, I don't remember any parking nearby

    • yeah

      necrofeliac

  • pablo

    Did you know that…….. Bill Fucking Murray!

    • Jawbone

      Fuck you, Pablo. Fuck you so hard.

  • Stainer

    Not a lot of fact checking was accomplished here.

  • Dr_Fap

    #4 Only in France

    • Dr_ DUH!

      Yes only in France. Only in Paris to be more exact. That's where the Eiffel Tower is. Vegas doesn't count because it it happened there, it stayed there.

      • Dr_Fap

        Is Paris not considered part of France anymore? I did't get that memo. To be more exact it is located on the Champ de Mars in Paris, France.

        • Brutal_Deluxe

          It's in Michigan. Quit misleading the good people of the internet.

          • Dr_Fap

            Sorry, I thought they would believe anything if it came from a doctor.

            • numlock

              well seeing as you are medically qualified. i believe you.

    • https://www.facebook.com/LizBWilson Liz Baxter

      I see what you did there 😉

  • Chiefhenry27

    #9 so true.

    • Ned Ryerson

      not necessarily "odd" for me but it has to be in multiples of 5.

      • http://www.facebook.com/Vrolok013 Christopher Mata Campbell

        We are the 1%

    • Master_Rahl

      wait… what? Apparently, I am a 1%-er. I only feel uncomfortable if it's too frickin' loud or soft. Otherwise, tis but a number.

      • Static

        same here! we are the 1% (i wonder how many people were actually asked for this poll)

    • Underbaker

      So what about the people whose volume only show a bar and no numbers? I feel so left out of this poll I never heard about.

    • Eric

      I feel this way about my car stereo. Drives me crazy if its an odd number.

    • leonard hoffsteader

      if you're a nutjob it is-

    • Mr X

      Spinal Tap disagrees

    • thedude325

      God help us if it lands on 13.

  • 0331

    When are you bringing back Wallpaper?

    • Katie

      Right, I had to make my own yesterday

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/ADHDavenger13?feature=mhsn Firefighter23

      You can buy some at Home De………oh wallpaper right…gotcha.

    • RobTalk

      2560×1440 please

  • B rex

    Now too impress all my friends!…If I had any…

    • figleaf

      * "to" and uh… what are you referring to?

      • aav

        * and uh… "to what are you referring?"

        • figleaf

          Touche' – however, kinda formal for a comment on an internet site, IMO.

  • Acesevens

    #9
    It really doesn't matter about what level volume is set on, when commerical comes on it is magnified by 1000.

    • Katie

      Especially when watching a movie

    • Tecumseh

      They need to reinstate the law about commercial volume! Also the law about no drug ads would be great too.

    • Craig

      What are commercials? Ever hear of DVR?

  • TomTheCameraGuy

    #4 Doesn't really scream "marriage material"

    • Master_Rahl

      kinda screams indestructible, though.

    • Dick Salad

      It does if you're trying to breed super heroes

    • http://twitter.com/McBeastie666 @McBeastie666

      depends on the insurance policy.

    • Fried French

      and driving her back to the Eiffel Tower is cheaper than a divorce and alimony.

  • driftwoodprose

    #9 is mostly legit, but I'm okay with 5's.
    I used to have a problem with #13 when my phone had a weak vibration, but my current phone is pretty unmistakable, so glad I'm cleared of that business.

    • DubU2Death

      the first thing i thought is that dividends of 5 or okay too… I wonder what the technical term for phantom vibrating is cause I never have my ringer on

      • rectovaginal fistula

        it helps when you have your phone buried half up your vag.

    • BigOkie

      I'm OK with the volume on odd numbers as long as they are not prime… 9 is OK (since it's a perfect square) but 11 is not, etc…

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003848615853 Ed Martinez

    #3 an even more awesome reason to love them

    • pablo

      i would never want a blow job by a vampire!

      • Brutal_Deluxe

        I'm putting that quote on all my business cards.

  • Ned_Plimpton

    #7 103% of percentages are bullshit.

    • Underbaker

      Why would you ask "what are you wearing?" when in person?

      • MonkeyMadness

        lol! True dat!

        • tv_paul

          A horny Blind guy, the sightless get horny to ya know>

          • Brutal_Deluxe

            Why would a blind guy care, unless it's razor wire?

            • tv_paul

              It's Friday morning, everyone know that no one wears razor wire in the day, that's strictly considered evening wear.

              • Underbaker

                I wondered why I was getting those looks, guess I better take it off, while at work anyway.

  • WhyVess

    Every time I see these post I'm super hesitant to believe anything they say.

  • SomethingClever

    I see a long hard life for the guy in #4

  • tv_paul

    #3 So that explains Nicole Kidmans complextion.

  • Simon

    #17 Tree tree tree, tree, tree and tree. I'm pretty sure sentences can be constructed better than that. Tree.

    And #3 is worded weird, since the word Vampire wasn't used until much later, iirc.

    Anyhow, KCCO.

    • nachos

      As your correcting the chive's sentence structure, just remember, everyone hates you

      • Brutal_Deluxe

        What about your sentence structure? Can we correct that?

      • Simon

        Thanks for that.

  • SomethingClever

    Also, everything on the internet is true. I wonder how many people googled "fruit salad tree"…

    • SomethingClever

      Well I'll be…

    • Master_Rahl

      guilty…

    • Underbaker

      Nope, I was much more interested in red headed vampires.

    • Brutal_Deluxe

      I googled "tossed salad tree" by mistake and now I have a lot of explaining to do to the IT guys.

      • http://twitter.com/tonytouch24kt @tonytouch24kt

        Thanks for the laugh

    • Bryan

      uhh did you? its real… its not natural but its real

blog comments powered by Disqus