Everything on the internet is true (34 Photos)

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  • austin

    First?

    • DaUndeadDodo

      Yes. My condolences.

    • Bob

      Not as cool as it once was… Douche…

      • DaddyD

        It was never cool.

  • bojo

    Thumbs down for first

  • untamedride

    #2 Boobs!

    • 29er

      I actually didn't see the first part of that picture…

  • Master_Rahl

    #1 I learned the hard way. Ever since, it's always at someone else's place, so I don't have to scrub puke out of the rug.

    • Bubba

      Never throw a party anymore? That's sad! Sad, sad, sad….

      • Guest

        Not when you can go else where and trash someone elses house :d

    • its_forge

      Actually I used to have a nifty little place right under the interstate with a big back yard and a huge patio, Florida room and an almost-straight path from the back kitchen door to the front living room door, and we used to throw these 200-250 person blowouts with 2-3 kegs and tons of food and then we'd just break out the Shop-Vac in the morning, spray some fresh water in the living room carpet and suck up the spilled beer and that was it. It's all about putting enough garbage barrels around so nobody can miss one.

      • Master_Rahl

        Damn Forge, next party you throw, I want in. Sounds like you know how to throw a helluva bash.

        • its_forge

          Heh, that was when three of my 4 roommates were a local heavy metal band. Surprisingly well-mannered, those metalheads. We never pushed our luck by having them hook up the amps, but that interstate was a Godsend, you couldn't hear a *thing* 100 yards away.

    • db3300

      I learned the hard way too. I once had a deaf neighbor complain about the noise.

  • press

    #14
    Cats don't hate. They may not give a F@#K sometimes, but they don't hate.

    • zoom

      Not giving a F@#K is what makes them so cool.

      Most cats could stare down the devil himself.

      • Fun_with_Numbrs

        you mean herself, right?

    • 29er

      It's not Cat Saturday. Go back to sleep until then.

    • Underbaker

      No, cats don't hate…. <img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3015/3060497052_b9f4f6a15c.jpg&quot; width="200">

      • http://twitter.com/McBeastie666 @McBeastie666

        a cat shits on your pillow usually because you've done something wrong, i.e. didn't scoop the litterbox or you left town for a few days. a dog shits on your pillow because derp.

        • Mike

          cats suck

    • I hate cats

      I hate cats

    • cows250

      Cats hate. Waiting until a person wakes up to take your morning shit in the middle of the floor….that's hate. But, to be fair, it's mutual.

  • http://echogeo.wordpress.com/ echogeo

    #26
    Truer words have never been said.

    • Guy on a Buffalo

      Mr. Garrison says this exact thing on South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut.

      • Smartass

        So does Spider Jerusalem in the Transmetropolitan comic (only he did it a few years earlier than Garrison).

    • zepolcire

      George Carlin ruled

  • Master_Rahl

    #21 Per this study, Chivers should be VERY healthy 🙂

    • CSF

      A pair a day keeps the doctor away.

    • nick

      who is this woman? I'm pretty sure she's from brazil and has like 35 surgeries on her breasts alone, but i cant for the life of me remember her name, anyone?

      • ns_chiveon

        She was on tlc's strange addiction

    • Logs

      must find name

  • http://echogeo.wordpress.com/ echogeo

    #30
    "I hates that rabbit!"

    <img src="http://yosemite-sam.net/Sam/Sam-Side.jpg"/&gt;

  • BruceWayne

    #7
    Is fucking false….everything on the internet is a sham…nothing is for real.

    SP is the shit and will be for fucking ever…….

    • Ned Ryerson

      what the hell does this have to do with anything?

      • BruceWayne

        Ned Ryerson the idiot from Ground Hog Day. Perfect.
        Listen idiot the title is Everything on the internet is true
        And I am responding to #7 (Look up see it ^ )
        I will assume you've never watched South Park because you're a Simpson's bigoted dumb ass!

        Ned Ryerson You will be my bitch!!

        • http://www.facebook.com/austin.anderson.566 Austin Anderson

          Douche.

          • BruceWayne

            Really do you think by calling me a Douche. Austin Anderson.is positive?
            Maybe you need to go back to your GO game and stuff a white bead up your ass.
            You give cool nerd's a bad name.
            Let me ?/think: you're a fucking manager of a piece shit job where all you think about is fucking your co worker but every body believes your a good family with a wife and kids, But no one knows your secrets do they Austin Anderson?
            Pretender.

            • http://www.facebook.com/austin.anderson.566 Austin Anderson

              Not even close.. Keep trying though.

              • BruceWayne

                Go change my oil punk.

                • videologic

                  knobchops

    • Jim

      Is that you Trey Parker?

  • matt

    #6 an Alot is a fictional animal.

    • Lev

      The content is true, but it's missing one point at the end: "Yet she will still tell you nothing is wrong".

  • Correct

    #22… they Mayans use a solar/lunar calendar, they don't give a shit what our calendar says… Dec 21, or w/e is the day OUR calendar lines up w/ theirs.

    • Bubba

      Just in time for christmas, whooptidooh!

    • Kiro

      Correct. Too many people don't seem to understand that concept.

      • TheAutomaticMan

        People are Sheep and will believe anything they read, even the "facts" in the picture are wrong, Ceasar didn't invent our calendar (the Gregorian calendar), it was invented by Pope Gregory the 8th, and the decree was signed on 2/24/1582
        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gregorian_calendar

    • Static

      besides the fact, that these guys couldnt predict the spanish invasion… how could they predict the end of the world??

      • http://twitter.com/PendragonDev @PendragonDev

        The Mayans weren't wiped out by the Spanish. They were gone as the dominant civilization 400-500 years before the Spaniards arrived. The Aztecs were wiped out by the conquistadors.

        • Kenton

          You are correct to an extent. They were still around and practicing their "religion" or whatever you want to call it (sacrificing humans, special ceremonies, temples). The Conquistadors first found the Mayan's practicing sacrificial gifts, and the ceremony in which this took place.

          I know this is a movie, but a good friend of mine directed it. It is about the conquistadors taking over and although it is a fictional story, it was based from the real events that happened (and also filmed on location in the Yucatan). It was the highest grossing Mexican film in the United States (when it came out, not sure if the record still stands). It is called:
          "La Orta Conquista" translation "The Other Conquest" Directed by Salvador Carrasco. Check it out guys!

    • goods

      Thank you!! Someone else who has put some thought into this

    • Syhr

      according to my Archaeology Professor Dr. Matthews, who is a world renowned mayan Archaeologist, the date of the 21st of December was converted from the mayan calender dating system to fit into ours, so the date still stands. add to this the fact that the mayan mythos does not mention the world coming to an end, it says that they/he/it will come, depending on the translation used

      • HUMONGO

        This doesn't bode well when you realize it coincides with Snookie's due date.

        • its_forge

          Snooki isn't pregnant.

      • glenn

        you're right and from what I understood from some reading, the way they fitted the two calendars is by finding corresponding events ( like the hispanic invasion) that were noted in both calendars. It seems that the actual dates might be off by few years depending on what events you choose. I guess your teacher could give you more details about this

      • Mike L

        Have your professor check his work against this:
        http://www.fourmilab.ch/documents/calendar/

        You can scroll down to the Mayan Calendar Section. I would be very intrigued to learn which is "more correct" as none of us are Mayans…and it's all in the context. According to this website, which the guy does his homework, we're looking at an extinction level event 10/12/4772

      • Kevin

        The they/he/it that will come is Bolon Yakte. Bolon Yakte was the Mayan god of creation and war. On Dec. 21 the belief is that the doorway will open to allow his return. We will than start the fifth age since they believed the world has ended four times already. Once by fire, once by darkness, once by flood, and once by some way I forgot.

    • Blake

      The mayan calendar is too pro to need leap year. The lost time is already accounted for. All Dec 21, 2012 coincides with is when the mayan calendar starts over…so the "end of time" is literally the end of the calendar. Just like ours goes back to January after December, theirs starts over from 13.0.0.0.0 to 0.0.0.0.1

      • glenn

        The long count calendar is on base of 20. So on Dec21 at midnight it will turn from 13.0.0.0.0 to 13.0.0.0.1 then 13.0.0.0.2… and it will go on like that until year 4772.

        • Brutal_Deluxe

          Just in case the world really will end, however, all of you should give me your money for safekeeping.

    • yoadrian

      That's right, the Mayan Calendar doesn't need to account for leap years. But, it doesn't change the fact that the Mayan Calendar mentions nothing about the apocalypse or anything actually. The calendar, by design, is infinite and will go on way after the aliens capture our souls and sell them to Jesus…

    • Boosh

      It doesn't really matter though, you can just watch this…

    • Jeff Albertson

      I'm glad someone else was smart enough to post this. I had a Facebook war with several retards that couldn't understand…

    • blah

      Wrong on all accounts. The Mayan Calendar is not based on ANY celestial body, astrological bodies, or on physical time what-so-ever. Their calendar was created for the purpose of keeping track, recording, and predicting of the evolution of consciousness based on naturally occurring cycles of time. Our Calendar is based on the physical and material, celestial and astrological bodies. Our Calendar can be calculated to line up with their calendar any and every day, not just Dec 21st. And just to note, rumor had it that the Mayan Short Count Tzolkien calendar ends on Dec 21, 2012. That is also incorrect. That last phase/date of the Mayan Tzolkien Calendar actually ended on October 28, 2011. If you dont believe me, you can do your own research starting with The Mayan Calendar and the Transformation of Consciousness by Carl Johan Calleman.

      • Jen

        you're fucking smart, dude.

      • Tim

        I 100% agree with you, you've done your research.

    • Evan

      Maybe they just ran out of room on their circle calendar, So they're just like "Whatever, we'll just start over, not like the worlds gunna end or anything." And now everyone's freaking out cause they think that the world will end.

    • VertigoElation

      The people who say stuff like this annoy me more than people who say the world is going to end.

    • MacGuyver912

      Also, the number of leap years stated is incorrect. It's late, and I'm tired so I don't want to figure it out exactly, but there have been a few years were the leap year has been skipped in order to keep things better on track.

    • http://www.facebook.com/casonedwardsandthecastaways ThePad

      Thank you, sir for pointing that out. People post that same crap on facebook and act like they're fucking matlock and they've just provided a key piece of evidence. Time doesn't act any differently in south america than it does in europe. The date has to do with the interaction of our sun with the star, Sirius. THey're in a binary. On Dec 21 they'll start moving closer together or something. The people who discovered and studied the mayan calendar were badass sciency indiana jones kinna guys who had heard of leap year so when they figured the end of it, they gave it to the world in terms that correspond to our calendar.

    • videologic

      regardless, they never predicted the end of the world. Its basically just their equivalent of new years eve. Or maybe if you prefer Y2K, but then loads of people thought the world would end then.

      The most a nnoying thing about these predictions, is that someone one day will probably be right by a fluke and then will be extra smug in the afterlife

  • Chicago Sean

    #10 Those are crayons, not crans. When you color, you use "cray-yons". Never "crans".

    • 29er

      I HATE ROSEART! They never colored correctly from too much wax and they broke all the FUCKIN' time.

    • ThanksRoseArt

      Even if you managed to get somewhere in the vicinity of "the right" clothes, shoes, and haircut, the moment you busted out the RoseArt you knew the ruse was up. And being artistically inclined just made it that much more of a stab.

      RoseArt. Pointing out the poor and unpopular kids since whenever the f*ck they started their company.

    • tapsnapornap

      I don't get this one at all…

      • dangle33

        then you were fortunate enough to never have had to use roseart. basically that brand of crayons blew. its all about Crayola.

        • tapsnapornap

          I don't think I've ever seen those before, I'm in Canada though so maybe we don't have them here.

    • dallastxbby

      CRAYOLA is the king of crayons. RoseArt crayons break EVERY TIME- guaranteed.

    • Jen

      its pronounced CROWNS, gosh.

  • http://echogeo.wordpress.com/ echogeo

    #20
    Another reason why it takes them so long to pack for vacation.

  • Tom

    why can't we get one full day of nothing but sexy chivettes? #19 Twilight Sucks

  • Adam F

    I should have #15 on a card to hand to assholes who bug me too much

    • Biggus Diccus

      Add another one:
      Never say to an introrvert, "Why don't you talk more?" It really pisses us off.

      • http://thechive.com F3n1x187

        True!

      • SadeShadz

        Agreed.

      • Harmonica33

        so true i fucking hate that.
        but the one i hate the most is "Lach doch mal" (im german) it translates to something like "smile some more"

        • ladderzombie

          couldn´t agree more. i hate to smile on demand, like in photos ("say cheese" – "fuck you…")

        • velvethammer

          I had a great T-shirt I got from the Wasa Country Pub, depicting a seriously pissed-off bald eagle. The caption read: i AM smiling. Had to buy that one.

      • tiernana10

        true

      • http://www.facebook.com/jjcaddell Jesse James Caddell

        Introverts can be ten million times more fun at home than in public. Give them a chance, you could find your next best friend 😉

      • You'reWelcome

        A must read –

        Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking (Susan Cain)

    • lexus

      Maybe you should lose your virginity for once and start being a man

      • stonewall_79

        Being introvert has nothing to do with sex.

      • Donotread

        Maybe you should get your head out of your ass and stop talking shit.

    • socalmarti

      Amen!!!!

      • Jen

        i dont understand you introverts. therefore, i leave you alone.

    • SARmedic

      I'm going to print this out and laminate it, eventually my family will get it. I was an extrovert but several thousand 911 calls showed me how ugly humanity can be.

    • Cantaloupe

      Isn't this how you should treat everyone?

    • KCCO

      What's funny is that I don't think any of you guys took this as satire.

  • Chicago Sean

    #20 Yet his is pretty gay.

    • meantux

      his= just use her shampoo

  • etcrr

    Both movies suck! #19

    • Chingo

      Lor does not suck. You are a terd!

  • http://twitter.com/JDS2041 @JDS2041

    #30 seems legit!!

  • 29er

    #33 And that is why I will always be a hockey fan!

    • ensed

      So true.

    • upitt26

      Wayne simmonds is such a boss! Flyers are cool. Go kings!

      • krh

        yea simmerrrr

        • flyguys

          simmer was born to be a bully

    • YOYO

      "Yea I'm Fine"… Probably more pissed if he missed a shift

    • yup

      Try throwing a fastball with a blister and see what happens, Kobe played with torn ligaments in his finger, and turf toe is a bigger hindrance then the name gives it but he's still a soccer player so…

      • Mike

        The point is in other sports, players like Kobe are the exceptions. Every hockey player takes a slapshot to the face at some point in his career, and he may miss a shift while the trainers stitch it up but he's never out longer than a period. I was at a minor league hockey game a few years ago and they had to stitch up a guy TWICE because he took a stick to the face and got cut, then on his next shift he took a slapshot to the exact same spot. He still came back and finished the game. That's tough.

    • Vent187

      Best sport ever. Toughest athletes out there. Soccer is for pussies.

    • http://blog.dirtyhotproductions.com/ waltgator

      hockey rules! go kings!

    • chucklesclown

      If I remember correctly, it was more of a snapshot to his face than a slapper, but either way, point taken. Hockey players are generally tough as nails. There is, of course, the rare occasion where one hurts himself while eating pancakes though.

    • techno_viking

      Kobe didn't jam his finger and miss 2-4 weeks…

    • PensFans

      Woah woah woah. That was not a slapshot or a snapshot or any puck to his face. That was the Penguins' Derek Engelland beating Simmonds ass. I just wanted to get that straight. Go Pens!

      • Max

        Engelland jumped him after he took a puck in the face a few games earlier. Suck it pens.

    • 30er

      You don't take shots in hockey with your face…

  • Commander Shepard

    I take #9 a step further and dream about it.

    • Underbaker

      I was going to say that is called dreaming, you are really screwed up when start seeing it with your eyes open and the console off.

    • rdpre

      Fallout 3. Nuff said.

      • TimmiT

        Just started playing it again. I plan character builds at work. I need help.

    • matt

      Tetris

  • Tucker

    #33 soccer is for pussies, kobe is a bitch and baseball doesn't mean shit until October. There it's out there I said it, everyone was thinking it.

    • o0o0o0o0

      they're all pussies, except for hockey & football

      • Fred Brocaa

        I'd be willing to give rugby a pass too. When the first rule of a sport is "Get so drunk you can't feel the pain..". you know you're on to something. Jussayin

    • caity

      turf toe is a very common football injury too

    • https://www.facebook.com/cavillea.diannea Cavillea Diannea

      i'd love to see what sport you mastered. soccer is pretty ok.

    • sneederbee

      Bobby Baun – scored cup winning goal on a broken leg.
      'nuff said.

  • 29er

    #9 Or when you play so much that you start seeing it in real life.

    • Brian

      When I was stoned in New Orleans last year walking down Bourbon at 1 in the morning, I swear to god I was seeing in Eagle Vision. Took a break from AC for a couple weeks when I got home.

    • kanah

      I was playing a lot of GTA3 when i was trying to fill my garage with all the cars needed from the list, and the hardest of course was Mr Whoopee.
      So when i was driving my car (in real life) and came across an ice cream van, for a split second there i really wanted to ram it 🙂

    • jb!

      Or when things strangely move in slo-mo and every time you see a cop like in Need for Speed and all of a sudden you think your Stratus can out run anything??

    • its_forge

      When you start treating the goals your boss gives you at work like achievements in WoW.

  • austin

    dont…

  • http://thechive.com F3n1x187

    So much truth on #15

    • You'reWelcome

      A must read –

      Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

  • tv_paul

    #21 Thanks you Fox news,I never realized the health benefits by staring at boobs before, very informative

    • Brutal_Deluxe

      That said, why are they blocking the view with that title? If I have a heart attack right now, it's on them.

    • eggnog

      You do understand there is a difference between fox news and a fox affiliated news station… right?

      • Kenton

        Geez, you must be one of those Introverts. Totally unnecessary comment "eggnog". You should go blow up.
        Sincerely,
        Everyone Else

    • Guest

      You do know there is an actual study on this and its actualy true… look it up.

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