Daily Morning Awesomeness (30 Photos)

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  • http://www.facebook.com/shane.oliver.106 Shane Oliver

    Great times. Thanks chive

    • your mama

      Dear Chive Staff and Chive Users:

      While I am not the original Mayer Jacoby, I am continuing his cause. Through emails with Mayer Jacoby, I’ve found that several people are taking up his/her cause where the name is more symbolic, and less a representation of a single person. To that end, I want to say the following:
      1)While the mayer jacoby anti-chive movement is very unpopular to some Chive folk, there is a growing population of individuals who post the rants and have expressed extreme disgust at the institutionalized racism by the Chive
      2)Many disgusted Chive users have tried to submit HUNDREDS of pictures representing African American and Minor ity women, and to no avail.
      3)While the rants with caps-lock is certainly annoying, it is important to continue this strategy to gain attention and recognition of the Chive’s racist practices
      4)There are horrible unspeakable emails from Chive users that will become public in due time. These emails exemplify some pretty stark racist, xenophobic, homophobic, and border-line threatening language. While we want to expose these individuals and potentially their employers, we have refrained. A tiger doesn’t change his stripes. So these racist idiots will continue to be racist.
      5)Before you bash Mayer Jacoby, think about what the movement is saying. Is it so wrong to integra te min orities into all posts? Separate is not equal.
      6)When the Chive does post pictures of black men and women, they perpetuate hateful stereotypes. Why not celebrate their intellect with some historical examples?
      7)We take offense to the “find her” gallery. This is a law-suit waiting to happen. It is just creepy to ask thousands of users to find the names of women. We have a growing number of scared women who have been contacted by you creepy chivers due to the “find her” gallery. THIS HAS TO GO.
      8)The Chive, while not directly racist, continues to practice institutionalized racism by featuring white/Aryan/blonde/blue eye girls as more attractive. Look how black men/women are portrayed. Hateful stereotypes.
      9)We are sick of the emails claiming BET, JET , and other black media is racis t. The reason those institutions exist is because BLACK PEOPLE ARE MI NORITIES. The rest of the media is white-tilted. Black individuals have been marginalized since the dawn of this country, these are important outlets to let their voices grow.
      10)We also take offense to the college galleries. These perpetuate the notion that US college students only drink and party. We need to celebrate diversity, education, and reward ideals related to striving for excellence. It’s also creepy that 40 year old men find pictures of 18 year old girls, and then ask users to “find them.”

      Thank you for your time,

      Mayer Jacoby

      today's racist user comment that is unedited https://twitter.com/#!/mayerjacoby/status/2049307

      Mac is the worst. I know for a fact he is scum.

      I hate this website. The chive staffers act all self righteous and philanthropic, but what you really do is perpetuate stereotypes, marginalize black people, steal pictures from other websites, all in the name of some ridiculous brand, "KCCO." Get off your high horses and just admit you are 40 year old men who steal pictures, ask users to stalk women, and make fun of mi norities. You do nothing for society

      Also, the “FIND HER” galleries are a ticking time bomb of law suits waiting to happen. I know of many women who are creeped out by this, and some who have expressed anger at thousands of gross men finding them on facebook (and other sites) and sending unsolicited requests for “Moar boobs” and “take it off” and “ get in the kitchen.” To name a few…

      Good luck Chive.

      chive is ra cist @gm ail .com
      Dear Chive Staff and Chive Users:

      • chill out bro

        ohh did the internet hurt your feelings? grow up.

      • Vin

        Keep calm.

      • Dany

        relax douche. it's called fun.

  • Baby farts mama

    Baby farts is a vigin

    • Baby farts mama

      Virgin

      • sploodge

        why are people thumbs upping this douche for correcting his own fail post?

    • DickFister

      Thought you meant vagin … someone who has never gone down on a vagina

    • Underbaker

      So zero fucks were given, by and about this.

  • Chunk Pants

    Seems like some guys would have a problem using this.. #8

    • Dr_StrangePants

      Drunk Bud Light Drinker: "Oh Sweet! Free Refills! "

    • Levian

      Long as they dull the edges so you don't cut your dick I'd use it

  • MonkeyMadness

    #7 Oh man, that's creepy. Where'd the kid on the left come from?

    • Dex

      Child Predator..

  • Kyle

    #14 a little white paint and no one will ever know

    • Po Dee

      you can fix this for less than $50. beats losing the deposit

    • techno_viking

      There's a kitchen in her attic?

  • Nuck Chorris

    #2
    The Brave Little Toaster! That takes me back…

    • Dr_StrangePants

      the movie that as a child got me hooked on "a bop ba da doo da a bop bop bop"

    • Saskguy26

      The lamp was such an ass

      • Guesty

        Better than the dumb blanket though.

        • Optimus_prime

          Blanket scared the shit out of me when it came floating down the stairs

    • boom

      Dear Chive Staff and Chive Users:

      While I am not the original Mayer Jacoby, I am continuing his cause. Through emails with Mayer Jacoby, I’ve found that several people are taking up his/her cause where the name is more symbolic, and less a representation of a single person. To that end, I want to say the following:
      1)While the mayer jacoby anti-chive movement is very unpopular to some Chive folk, there is a growing population of individuals who post the rants and have expressed extreme disgust at the institutionalized racism by the Chive
      2)Many disgusted Chive users have tried to submit HUNDREDS of pictures representing African American and Minor ity women, and to no avail.
      3)While the rants with caps-lock is certainly annoying, it is important to continue this strategy to gain attention and recognition of the Chive’s racist practices
      4)There are horrible unspeakable emails from Chive users that will become public in due time. These emails exemplify some pretty stark racist, xenophobic, homophobic, and border-line threatening language. While we want to expose these individuals and potentially their employers, we have refrained. A tiger doesn’t change his stripes. So these racist idiots will continue to be racist.
      5)Before you bash Mayer Jacoby, think about what the movement is saying. Is it so wrong to integra te min orities into all posts? Separate is not equal.
      6)When the Chive does post pictures of black men and women, they perpetuate hateful stereotypes. Why not celebrate their intellect with some historical examples?
      7)We take offense to the “find her” gallery. This is a law-suit waiting to happen. It is just creepy to ask thousands of users to find the names of women. We have a growing number of scared women who have been contacted by you creepy chivers due to the “find her” gallery. THIS HAS TO GO.
      8)The Chive, while not directly racist, continues to practice institutionalized racism by featuring white/Aryan/blonde/blue eye girls as more attractive. Look how black men/women are portrayed. Hateful stereotypes.
      9)We are sick of the emails claiming BET, JET , and other black media is racis t. The reason those institutions exist is because BLACK PEOPLE ARE MI NORITIES. The rest of the media is white-tilted. Black individuals have been marginalized since the dawn of this country, these are important outlets to let their voices grow.
      10)We also take offense to the college galleries. These perpetuate the notion that US college students only drink and party. We need to celebrate diversity, education, and reward ideals related to striving for excellence. It’s also creepy that 40 year old men find pictures of 18 year old girls, and then ask users to “find them.”

      Thank you for your time,

      Mayer Jacoby

      today's racist user comment that is unedited https://twitter.com/#!/mayerjacoby/status/2049307

      Mac is the worst. I know for a fact he is scum.

      I hate this website. The chive staffers act all self righteous and philanthropic, but what you really do is perpetuate stereotypes, marginalize black people, steal pictures from other websites, all in the name of some ridiculous brand, "KCCO." Get off your high horses and just admit you are 40 year old men who steal pictures, ask users to stalk women, and make fun of mi norities. You do nothing for society

      Also, the “FIND HER” galleries are a ticking time bomb of law suits waiting to happen. I know of many women who are creeped out by this, and some who have expressed anger at thousands of gross men finding them on facebook (and other sites) and sending unsolicited requests for “Moar boobs” and “take it off” and “ get in the kitchen.” To name a few…

      Good luck Chive.

      chive is ra cist @gm ail .com

      • Brady

        I may be new to this, but in the "Find Her" Gallery, aren't the only girls who are actually found porn stars or models? Just because some one puts a picture in the comments and says "MOAR!" doesn't mean they are stalking. Chill out and just don't come here. If your movement has been growing as you say, the best thing you guys could do is not come on. The lack of site visits will do more than a ranting post ever will.

      • crh

        Someone was never any good at dodge ball.

      • fritodog

        Someone didn't love you enough when you were little, did they?

      • Posting 101

        And it was this picture of the brave little toaster that set you off?

  • MonkeyMadness

    #14 Notice what?

  • DFT

    But after last night Baby Farts mama isn’t!

  • Rollout25

    #11 Some men just want to watch the world burn

    • Zetum

      i thought that was where this was going

    • Bob

      Why… WHY WOULD THEY DO THIS!!?!?!?!!

      • luke

        church

      • figleaf

        Also a very common practice on counterfeits.

  • Bink

    #15 & #21… Evading evolution one idiot at a time.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=654840083 Mike

      i hope #21 makes it on Tosh.0 for a web redemption

    • Matthew's Rival

      #21 – Damn it, now who's going to make the sandwiches?

    • Poontangler

      #15 – Hauling a truckload of stupid.

    • Frank

      Really, this was probably the best possible outcome that she could have had. I hate standing on a folding chair to change a light bulb. I'm sure as hell not jumping off of one.

    • Guesty

      Wasn't this on YouTube and a guy is yelling at the driver "WHY DID YOU TURN"?

    • your mama

      Dear Chive Staff and Chive Users:

      While I am not the original Mayer Jacoby, I am continuing his cause. Through emails with Mayer Jacoby, I’ve found that several people are taking up his/her cause where the name is more symbolic, and less a representation of a single person. To that end, I want to say the following:
      1)While the mayer jacoby anti-chive movement is very unpopular to some Chive folk, there is a growing population of individuals who post the rants and have expressed extreme disgust at the institutionalized racism by the Chive
      2)Many disgusted Chive users have tried to submit HUNDREDS of pictures representing African American and Minor ity women, and to no avail.
      3)While the rants with caps-lock is certainly annoying, it is important to continue this strategy to gain attention and recognition of the Chive’s racist practices
      4)There are horrible unspeakable emails from Chive users that will become public in due time. These emails exemplify some pretty stark racist, xenophobic, homophobic, and border-line threatening language. While we want to expose these individuals and potentially their employers, we have refrained. A tiger doesn’t change his stripes. So these racist idiots will continue to be racist.
      5)Before you bash Mayer Jacoby, think about what the movement is saying. Is it so wrong to integra te min orities into all posts? Separate is not equal.
      6)When the Chive does post pictures of black men and women, they perpetuate hateful stereotypes. Why not celebrate their intellect with some historical examples?
      7)We take offense to the “find her” gallery. This is a law-suit waiting to happen. It is just creepy to ask thousands of users to find the names of women. We have a growing number of scared women who have been contacted by you creepy chivers due to the “find her” gallery. THIS HAS TO GO.
      8)The Chive, while not directly racist, continues to practice institutionalized racism by featuring white/Aryan/blonde/blue eye girls as more attractive. Look how black men/women are portrayed. Hateful stereotypes.
      9)We are sick of the emails claiming BET, JET , and other black media is racis t. The reason those institutions exist is because BLACK PEOPLE ARE MI NORITIES. The rest of the media is white-tilted. Black individuals have been marginalized since the dawn of this country, these are important outlets to let their voices grow.
      10)We also take offense to the college galleries. These perpetuate the notion that US college students only drink and party. We need to celebrate diversity, education, and reward ideals related to striving for excellence. It’s also creepy that 40 year old men find pictures of 18 year old girls, and then ask users to “find them.”

      Thank you for your time,

      Mayer Jacoby

      today's racist user comment that is unedited https://twitter.com/#!/mayerjacoby/status/2049307

      Mac is the worst. I know for a fact he is scum.

      I hate this website. The chive staffers act all self righteous and philanthropic, but what you really do is perpetuate stereotypes, marginalize black people, steal pictures from other websites, all in the name of some ridiculous brand, "KCCO." Get off your high horses and just admit you are 40 year old men who steal pictures, ask users to stalk women, and make fun of mi norities. You do nothing for society

      Also, the “FIND HER” galleries are a ticking time bomb of law suits waiting to happen. I know of many women who are creeped out by this, and some who have expressed anger at thousands of gross men finding them on facebook (and other sites) and sending unsolicited requests for “Moar boobs” and “take it off” and “ get in the kitchen.” To name a few…

      Good luck Chive.

      chive is ra cist @gm ail .com

      • Jen

        momma? why are you saying these things!?

  • Panny Maquiao

    #25
    I'm Ron Burgundy?

    • TheJesus

      Great Odin's raven!

      • Shepard

        Uncle Jonathon's corncob pipe!

    • Elcastino

      Go fuck yourself San Diego……

    • your mama

      Dear Chive Staff and Chive Users:

      While I am not the original Mayer Jacoby, I am continuing his cause. Through emails with Mayer Jacoby, I’ve found that several people are taking up his/her cause where the name is more symbolic, and less a representation of a single person. To that end, I want to say the following:
      1)While the mayer jacoby anti-chive movement is very unpopular to some Chive folk, there is a growing population of individuals who post the rants and have expressed extreme disgust at the institutionalized racism by the Chive
      2)Many disgusted Chive users have tried to submit HUNDREDS of pictures representing African American and Minor ity women, and to no avail.
      3)While the rants with caps-lock is certainly annoying, it is important to continue this strategy to gain attention and recognition of the Chive’s racist practices
      4)There are horrible unspeakable emails from Chive users that will become public in due time. These emails exemplify some pretty stark racist, xenophobic, homophobic, and border-line threatening language. While we want to expose these individuals and potentially their employers, we have refrained. A tiger doesn’t change his stripes. So these racist idiots will continue to be racist.
      5)Before you bash Mayer Jacoby, think about what the movement is saying. Is it so wrong to integra te min orities into all posts? Separate is not equal.
      6)When the Chive does post pictures of black men and women, they perpetuate hateful stereotypes. Why not celebrate their intellect with some historical examples?
      7)We take offense to the “find her” gallery. This is a law-suit waiting to happen. It is just creepy to ask thousands of users to find the names of women. We have a growing number of scared women who have been contacted by you creepy chivers due to the “find her” gallery. THIS HAS TO GO.
      8)The Chive, while not directly racist, continues to practice institutionalized racism by featuring white/Aryan/blonde/blue eye girls as more attractive. Look how black men/women are portrayed. Hateful stereotypes.
      9)We are sick of the emails claiming BET, JET , and other black media is racis t. The reason those institutions exist is because BLACK PEOPLE ARE MI NORITIES. The rest of the media is white-tilted. Black individuals have been marginalized since the dawn of this country, these are important outlets to let their voices grow.
      10)We also take offense to the college galleries. These perpetuate the notion that US college students only drink and party. We need to celebrate diversity, education, and reward ideals related to striving for excellence. It’s also creepy that 40 year old men find pictures of 18 year old girls, and then ask users to “find them.”

      Thank you for your time,

      Mayer Jacoby

      today's racist user comment that is unedited https://twitter.com/#!/mayerjacoby/status/2049307

      Mac is the worst. I know for a fact he is scum.

      I hate this website. The chive staffers act all self righteous and philanthropic, but what you really do is perpetuate stereotypes, marginalize black people, steal pictures from other websites, all in the name of some ridiculous brand, "KCCO." Get off your high horses and just admit you are 40 year old men who steal pictures, ask users to stalk women, and make fun of mi norities. You do nothing for society

      Also, the “FIND HER” galleries are a ticking time bomb of law suits waiting to happen. I know of many women who are creeped out by this, and some who have expressed anger at thousands of gross men finding them on facebook (and other sites) and sending unsolicited requests for “Moar boobs” and “take it off” and “ get in the kitchen.” To name a few…

      Good luck Chive.

      chive is ra cist @gm ail .com

      • Frank

        "Through emails with Mayer Jacoby, I’ve found that several people are taking up his/her cause where the name is more symbolic, and less a representation of a single person."

        So instead of just you, it's you and your mom now?

      • JimmyS

        Did anyone else read this entire bull shit in Ron Burgundy's voice?

  • Mono

    Balls

    • Underbaker

      So you're still looking for them?

  • Logicyup

    #6 Not sure I'd eat that (fondant tastes horrible), but great work and a kick ass show. Games of Thrones for those that don't get the reference, go watch it.

    • ya kent

      Cool Story Bro!!

    • Fulgram

      great show, i would eat the cake, and save the Throne.

    • TomTheCameraGuy

      … or read it. People seem to forget those old things called bu… booo… books?

    • Underbaker

      Thanks, was wondering what that throne was all about.

  • mike

    Is there going to be a chive meet up in LA?

    • Fuckcaps

      that was on here somewhere earlier. said one in la and in san diego

  • DrewskiDrew

    #28 OMG!! The one in my house is BEYOND sensitive. It goes off anytime we cook.

    • Dr_StrangePants

      College….that time when many are finally learning how to cook for themselves…failing miserably….and punishing the rest of the apartment complex for it.

    • angelcurry1077

      Mine goes off for a shower. 😦

      • Jewels

        if they go off because of a shower/humidity, chances are they need replacing. Most smoke detectors need replacing every 5 years or so.

    • Sceptic

      Put a condom on it.

      • luke

        she never uses a condom

    • Flow

      I've had one for a year that went off when I poured hot water (not even boiling) into the sink, just from that little bit of vapor. During that year a fire went off right in front of the door of my apartment and that little annoying thing suddenly became very dear to me. Point is, I just moved into a new apartment, it doesn't have one and I'm going to change that.

      • Underbaker

        I'm pretty sure there are fire codes that say rented/leased properties must have smoke detectors, I would hint toward your landlord something to the effect "Aren't these units suppose to have a smoke detector?" and he will probably install one post haste.

    • DemBone

      Try having a few in your place… all linked together.
      One senses something, they ALL go off!! =/

    • zaffa

      real men do not type "OMG!"

      • Underbaker

        So you are not a real man?

    • Bob

      Have you thought it might just be your cooking??? 🙂

  • Dave

    #9 Sorority girl in training

    • Dr_StrangePants

      took me second…but goddmanit you're right

  • shinanigans

    #23 behind the music, goose. the after years.

    • Mike Snifferpiffits

      goose is dead!

      • Saskguy26

        he got cooked.

  • Bink

    There should be a chiver meet-up for the east coast too! KKCO from Baltimore!!

    • Binked

      KCCO… Can't believe I did that lol

    • Optimus_prime

      Philly!

      • Always Last

        Tampa's got a Chivetter trying to put one together!

  • Babyfart Magizax

    #23 My shifter is a huge black dildo. I love it.

    • urajackass

      awful commenting…

  • some guy

    #28 LOL

    • Falthor

      I was dieing when i saw this too…

  • Richard

    #15 – Physics? What's that?

    • Fulgram

      Woman driving that was.

  • condombaby

    #29 shrubex

    • Babyfart Magizax

      that's not a shrub.

  • Mojo risin

    The guy below me loves penis

    • Zito

      You misspelled crushing pussy

      • obviousisobvious

        your reply is only clever when i click reply button!

  • Babyfart Magizax

    you are the WORST.

  • Babyfart Magizax

    awful. just awful commenting.

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