99 problems and a b#$!ch IS one (25 photos)

125 23

125 23
  • Needlegun13

    #1 At least he's honest about it….

    • http://facebook.com/daaneskjold Chazz_B

      I guess this sign should kill my GF's jealousy lol

  • whyme1973

    #14 Who broke into my sock drawer?

    • Unfkngblvbl

      WTF?! One has teeth!

      • B-to-the-H

        Hey, vampires have urges too.

    • Leddy420

      Your sock drawer is full of flesh light's that resemble the mouths of men and assorted childhood monsters?

    • LucretiusCarus

      The blue ones…people actually prefer the busted ravioli?

      • P. Diddy

        I'm all about blue waffles

    • Cool story bro

      diggin the avatar inserts bro

    • that guy

      Fleshlight.com check it out

      • Redban

        Is that you joe rogan?

    • Brian

      Not sure if green one is for the Hulk or Shrek.

  • Needlegun13

    $6 Next stop: SKYNET.

    • Blue bronco

      #6 fixed it

      Skynet will become self-aware

  • ColaChiver

    #6 = Nerdgasm

    • sneaky pete

      Mind Blown

    • AmBush_Steve

      I'm glad that he's using his powers for something like this rather than evil.

      This might however be a scale model of the Death Star.


      Lego Mindstorm level 1000

      • http://4chan.org gnocco

        Dude, that broke level 9000…

  • st33

    He actually took a picture with it to prove his awesomeness.

    • TROY


    • Levian

      My god, this looks like my cousin

  • t_black13

    #15 still has a woody to this day ..

  • Unfkngblvbl

    #22 Beavis?

    • Patches

      I think it's Blink 182.

    • boll

      thats huskystarcraft on the far right

    • sportsfan

      Johnny Test

  • gus

    #17 is awesome. The 916 is a work of art

    • Taco_Depot

      kill me if i am wrong, but wouldn't a better use for the 916 be riding it?

      • DutchChiveFan

        Hell yeah, what a waste…

    • http://chiveafterdark.tumblr.com/ AfterDark

      I don't know that I'd wanna sit under that :/

    • Shawni

      yes. yes it is.

    • _me

      There better be a running one in the garage. Otherwise this makes me cry a little.

    • Insnsprtn

      Uh I wonder if he will give it to me since he is not gonna use it…

    • http://www.facebook.com/MichJackman Michael Jackman

      Why is this in a nerd post? Is it because he has it on the wall and not on the street?

  • Blue bronco

    Nerds. They make the world go round

  • abakala

    #3 Who else was singing the phone number on the bottom right.

    • http://thechive.com/ GernBlansten

      One of the best shows of the last decade.

    • Sandra


    • Moony

      I'm disabled

    • P90

      Did you see that ludicrious display last night….

      • Soulless

        Watch your ruddy language!

  • chicago

    #20 [funny]
    Now I ain't sayin' she a gold digger (When I'm in need)
    But she ain't messin' wit no broke, broke (she give me money)
    Now I ain't sayin' she a gold digger (When I'm in need)
    But she ain't messin' wit no broke, broke (I gotta leave)
    Get down girl, go 'head get down (I gotta leave)
    Get down girl, go 'head get down (I gotta leave)
    [kanye west – golddigger]

    • Scaggnettii

      die in a fire

    • Kalamon

      Who the fuck is kanye west?

    • P. Diddy

      You like fish dicks too!

      • chicago

        Lemme interrupt here… funny shit comments! Love the internet.

  • ColaChiver

    #10 rolled up jeans pole dancing … like a boss

    • Levian

      That blonde needs to fucking chill, she's a little uptight!

  • ChiveNation

    #27 so true

    • http://xkcd.com/ Not Randall Munroe

      If you are gonna post someone else's work, give them the credit they deserve. Randall Munroe is a funny as hell webcomic artist. Check him out at http://xkcd.com/.

    • confused

      people have youtube parties?

      • Felcus

        Seriously, people have youtube parties?

        • ChiveNation

          You've never watched you tube with a bunch of friends and it seemed everyone had the next best vid to watch? Maybe not a you tube party. Just a gathering that someone happens to show a video everyone has to see and it gets carried away.

          • http://twitter.com/LuNcH_bOx13 @LuNcH_bOx13


            • ChiveNation

              how have you never watched viral videos with friends? No one has shared any with you? Wanna watch some together buddy?

          • 4895


      • Urethra Franklin

        What the fuck is a youtube party?


      who the fuck has youtube parties? I just call that a slow work day.

    • funkmaster

      Who the fuck has YouTube parties ?????

      • thedude325

        #22 These guys

    • Tooshay

      Probably shouldnt have taken this from xkcd without permission or credit :

  • jackson


    WTF is that?

    • itsashleybro


    • Blue bronco

      A big rodent… Not sure what is hugging it.

    • driftwoodprose

      Pretty sure that's a Capybara.

    • S.Freud

      That would be a capybara, largest rodent in the world.

    • TATW

      I don't think you should be hugging that chupacabra, sir…

      • Hoser

        I would say a young man with an East Indian heritage…I could be wrong though

    • Hugh

      ' a rodent of unusual size'

    • Sanchez


    • Yessirr


  • chalenger

    #10 she has no pupils

    • Slim Jim

      thats what you were looking at?

      • chalenger


    • http://thechive.com LukeTheTerrible

      I think they're just severely distorted, trying to see what that guy is doing, without looking like she's looking at him.

  • https://www.facebook.com/jason.caicco Jason Caicco

    #24 You should see that MAAAA FACKA play Dance Dance Revolution!!

    • Levian

      The way you said that reminds me of conkers bad fur day, the teddies! Good times

  • pablo

    I am speechless

  • pablo

    #19 What?

    • Eaglejams

      It's a Capybara

  • ElDiablo69

    #8 the duh award for being a little too focused. #20 can i hear a little "I like big butts but I cannot lie…" #26 Safe to say he is still a virgin or perhaps not if his lover back doored him.

  • Findangle

    #16 Finally PubicJones sent a pic of himself!!

    • PubicJones

      That's my brother. Don't let his weight or revolting looks fool you. He's a pussy magnet.

    • luke

      not enough thumbs up

    • ShakeyTheMoyle

      That's Francis

  • Takingbackcider

    #3 Katherine Parkinson is awesome!


      No, Moss is awesome.

      • NebraskaGuy

        Fuck yeah, Moss FTW!!

        .. damn, I miss that show!

  • Gallus

    #12 – Oh, Good Lord! I have a pair of glasses nearly identical to those. And, yes, I am a nerd.

    #19 – The largest rodent on earth, but I can't for the life of me remember what they are called.

    • With apologies

      I think Afro-American is the term you're looking for

    • Turrebo

      1) Google "largest rodent in the world wiki"
      2) Examine the first link (no need to click on it)

    • fearthecacti

      #12 – I think that's Hank Green from Vlogbrothers. Any Nerdfighters out there?

      • JAM

        You are nor wrong

        • fearthecacti

          Good, I didn't want to be the only person on the Chive that knew what a Tardigrade was.

    • fercyccone

      It's a Capybara (or capivara), it's a South American Rodent, it's not a threatened species, but it's under "protection" here in Brazil, due unbridled hunting.

    • J.A.


      capybara |ˌkapəˈberə, -ˈbärə|
      noun ( pl. same or capybaras )
      a South American mammal that resembles a giant, long-legged guinea pig. It lives in groups near water and is the largest living rodent.

    • Guanaco

      The capybara is either Garibaldi or Caplin Rous.

  • driftwoodprose

    #30 = hero

  • GuinessHangover

    A vagina! Kill it!

    • Dick

      That's what I said, but Betty White is right, they can take a pounding.

    • GuinessHangover's BF

      Why is your sock drawer full of flesh lights that resemble the mouths of men and assorted childhood monsters? We're through!

      • GuinessHangover

        Are you drunk, or just retarded? And were you seriously so unoriginal that you copied and pasted someone else's comment?

  • liquid_drummer

    #16 Best…Drink…Ever

    • phuphu


    • leah_bee

      If… you're… 14…

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