Daily Morning Awesomeness (35 Photos)

170 11

170 11
  • douche baggins

    #19 thanks walt!

    • Joe Mamma

      I'm willing to risk jail time….geez

      • Kaka

        Both are Legal Dude, So Chill Out

        • vandal

          You don't know what he wants to do with them yet.

          • TruthBEtold

            Chiver = Masturbate until he bleeds from both palms and penis.

    • http://twitter.com/fr33k4t3k @fr33k4t3k

      Am I the only one who doesn't know them? Seriously, who are they?

      • leah_bee

        Selena Gomez & Vanessa Hudgens.

        • Matt

          Are you sure that's vanessa? I thought she always had black hair???

          • JustLikeMyPoop

            Yep that actually IS Vanessa hudgens. Turns out its for a movie they're doing called spring breakers…

    • dashete

      Belle and Jasmin for the new Disney generation. What a uhm… splendid era.

      • Yoga Pants 2012

        Dont forget ABC Family's SEX, SEX, SEX, butt sex, mouth sex, belly button sex, sex all the time, sex everywhere, I'm a lesbian so fuck me silly sex, video.

        • MinervaMink

          I almost pee'd laughing so hard; especially at the belly button sex part!

    • Baba Booey


      • Epitomizer

        My new favorite word.

      • Sals a bum

        Fa fa foo hi mu mu monkey ta ta toothy ra ra retard

    • Meowmix

      Am I the only one who does not find Selena Gomez (and other girls that still look 8 years old) attractive? Or is this another one of those things that all of the internet seems go ridiculously fanboy over? other examples: Big Bang Theory, Star Wars, Christina Hendricks, telling slightly skinny people to eat sandwiches, etc

      • j22

        No, but you are one of the only people *on the internet* that won't admit you find them attractive. Save that for IRL with girls around.

      • cochese kramer

        no, i agree. don't get the big deal about selena gomez.

        • Dr. Evil

          And she's a lesbian, just look at who she's dating.

  • AAAA


    • You Douche

      Nope. You weren't. You failed. Just like I'm sure you fail everything else you try to be "first" at. Unless you were wanting to show everyone that you are the first douchebag of the new week by posting "first". Because then you succeeded. Be sure to celebrate by walking in to traffic or try breathing under water.

      • AAAA

        first responding to your reply

        • sploodge

          first responding to your response

          • Underbaker

            First to take out an AK-47 and shoot the next person who says first. (Oh Shoot! it was me!!!) BANG.

    • pottygob

      first to comment on a reponse of a response of a reply…
      even i am more accurate than AAAA

    • DaddyD

      Ignore them and they will go away. No comments. No thumbs.

      • The_Dood

        I doubt it.

      • AAAA


    • cookie

      peddle your "first" comments on some other corner of the internet.

    • Bray


  • etcrr

    #1 Just when you thought it was safe to walk on the Concourse level

    • yup

      fuck you

    • MattKL

      Challenge accepted.

    • The Game

      Am I the only one who gets reminded of Test Chamber 19?

    • 0331

      What it feels like shopping with the girlfriend.

    • MattieCO

      Where are my sharks with frickin' beam lasers attached to their heads?

    • YongeStreet

      In Toronto – smelled like sewage as well.

      BTW – there were no sharks.

      • miss lisa

        There was more flooding on Sunday too…thankfully with less eau de sewage scent.

    • Bruce Wayne

      -Samuel L. Jackson, Sharks in a Mall

      • Duncan

        Subway station actually.

      • Schnizz

        That sounds like a great sequel

    • wang

      Wheres ll cool j at when ya need him

  • RAMurai


    • ColaChiver

      You weren't even the first to fail at being first…How fucking stupid do you feel? You deserve a high five….

      To the face……..

      With a chair…..

      That is on fire…..

  • BigPup

    #19 Well, That'll do in a pinch. Not bad for a Monday morning…

  • RAMurai

    Chiving from Japan = Scrolling the DAR before everyone else. Winning in the land of the rising sun.

    • nemesis

      Either you're trolling (in which case you're a dick) or you're a genuine trigger-happy racist (in which case you're a dick).

      This doesn't bode well for you.

      • thepatriot

        neither. call me a historian.

        • aRealPatriot

          Americans live in Japan as well. One of the largest American Air Force Bases is also located in Japan…..Therefore Americans scroll the DAR in the land of the Rising Sun as well….

    • Back to work

      Nice try, Fail though

  • IceColdBuddha


    Made the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs!

    • Charlie_Cheen

      Wait, isn't a parsec a measure of distance?

      • Julius

        yes a parsec is a measure of distance (3.26 light years) but the reference is to taking a short cut… not the speed of the millennium falcon:

        "The Expanded Universe puts forth the most interesting and thorough explanation to the "parsec problem": the Kessel Run was normally an 18-parsec route. A popular travel route for smuggling operations, the Kessel Run went around the Maw, a cluster of black holes.

        Han's claim to have made the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs was therefore not just a boast about his ship's speed, but also his skills and daring as a pilot. Han shaved a third of the distance — and precious time — off the normal route by flying dangerous close to the black holes."

        • J.T. Hut

          Or, in in other words, George Lucas had no fucking idea what a parsec is when he wrote the script and had to come up with some way to explain his idiocy.

          • Wembley

            GL Still doesn't know what a parsec is.

          • iLeland

            George Lucas measure his wealth in parsecs.

        • 0331

          Family Guy bit. It's funnier when you don't explain.

        • http://www.facebook.com/tj.huddleston Tj Huddleston

          Damn… thumbs up for Star Wars historian "Julius"!

    • Rtree

      It's actually a Kolvoord Starburst. Surprised you didn't know that.

  • etcrr

    #33 holy shit put that cat on a diet

    • Matt

      That cat died about a month ago lol

      • moses


        • Underbaker

          Why are you Laughing Out Loud for a cat dieing? Seems pretty messed up to me.

          • MonkeyMadness

            I think he's laughing at the comeback burn on the comment and not about the cat 'dying.'

            • Underbaker

              Ehh, not feeling the burn on that one, guess my brain is just warped in a different direction.

      • Harley

        No it didnt……..it was just on good morning america last week 35-40 lbs they said

    • Yessirr

      Yeah that's one hell of a pussy.

  • lexi

    #15 want

    • Dr_StrangePants

      My Hipster Roommate forbids me to buy any Bug-Spray to get rid of these damn flies.
      …Where the hell can I find this?

      • Fly blaster

        I have one you can have if you want it.They sell them at Bass Pro Shops.

      • Fly blaster

        As an insect eliminator they are sub par.It was soon discovered that when you point it at your friends face he or she will attempt to block the bug gut covered projectile leaving themselves wide open for a clean shot to the junk,tit,and or twat.Never fails to amuse and delight.Cheers!

      • Harmonica33

        and you actually obey him?

    • dochandy

      i had one. they work… sort of.

    • RedDirtChiver

      Need. I may have to go out and buy one today just to test it out.

  • Jimbo

    #18 That's a panther wearing a 70s rocker wig…

    • Trig

      Leroy the lion.

    • Mike

      my first thought was actually pokemon related, its quite clearly just a shiny lion

    • http://www.facebook.com/tj.huddleston Tj Huddleston

      Everything is better in Black!

      • Underbaker

        Not Licorice, I only like red licorice.

    • Sarex

      Yeah, like the regular ones aren't scary enough, now we have stealth lions… XD

    • etcrr

      I don't know how it got to be black, but it is beautiul

      • etcrr

        damn typos

        • You

          Damn retard

    • 000


      • Anon

        thumbed down for the truth apparently :P

      • Static

        of course its shopped. Sorry folks.. no such thing

    • Ummm

      Do you think he's lazier than a normal lion?

      • Frank

        Yeah, but way better at basketball.

      • jerry

        about as lazy as your mom's eye

    • Bwarf

      Is it just me, or was everyone thinking 'Scar' from the Lion King as well?

  • CAE


    Hey chive office … it's not Halloween yet

  • p$d

    #1 WTF. REALLY. WTF.

    • TTC

      Don't worry, it's not a real picture. It's a photoshop of the floods in the Toronto subway system last Friday…

    • http://www.facebook.com/davenmorgado David Norte Morgado

      Fake, it's from the flood that happened in Union Station in Toronto CAN. They also have pictures circulating with our Mayor Rob Ford doing a canon ball.

  • USA


    Apparently this guy isn't a very good speller… I believe he meant to put 'MERIKA

    • http://www.facebook.com/acash34 Alex Cash

      *sigh… #35

      • Topgunn

        Don't you just love Ebonics !?!?! ITS SUCH BS!!!!

  • Rollout25

    #18 The King of the Jungle just got a lot cooler

    • Kodos

      that's racist

      • cleojones

        agreed.. always something negative say about black people.. let it go already.. live and let live..

    • Brock Samson

      king of the urban jungle maybe

    • Hello

      And a lot bigger…if you know what I mean

      • Wigga

        And a lot dumber, worse at pronouncing words clearly, much better at rapping, good at being lazy. Don't forget this King of the Jungle most likely is high 24/7.

  • Mikey

    #28 I hear that ship can make the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs!

    • Brian

      She may not look like much, kid, but she's got it where it counts.

    • ColaChiver

      I hear you are the second person to make this comment already….

  • http://twitter.com/jahrodnz @jahrodnz

    So glad I'm young enough to enjoy #19

    • Brian

      I'm glad THEY are.

    • heywoodjablowme

      if you've got a heartbeat you're young enough to enjoy them.

    • https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=654840083 Mike

      they are legal, why would you need to be young enough to enjoy them.

    • just sayin

      they look like under age puerto rican hookers. Not really that hot.

      • Holy Shit WTF

        Thanks for Ghost posting for me. My real name is Holy Shit WTF. But in this context I was was literally just sayin. I really can not understand how i got up votes on this ghost reply and down votes on original below with same age guy. OHHH internet you so cray cray. Go DEVILS…..

  • misainzig

    Whats with the lame fucking noisy ads, Chive?

    • Chris

      ad block bro

  • Mitt Romney

    #23 is that kid workin a slosh tube?!?!

    • sithney

      it's rosie the riveter's great-granddaughter

    • Eric t Red

      was I the only one that heard "Eye of the Tiger" (Rocky workout music)

    • Steve

      It's funny cause it is child labour in the slums of India…..

  • Derek

    Kind of a weak DMA…. Hopefully the "Monday Gap" will make up for it :)

    • Amy


    • Lola


  • Brodie

    #1Listen, not a year goes by, not a year, that I don't hear about some escalator accident involving some bastard kid which could have easily been avoided had some parent – I don't care which one – but some parent conditioned him to fear and respect that escalator

    • MattKL

      That's criminal. That kid is back on the escalator again!

    • http://www.facebook.com/chris.wheatley.501 Chris Wheatley


      • Gursch

        you guys are good. that's funny shit

  • cookie

    #14 giving your ass some gas! Or your mule some fuel ;)

    • luckylogger

      that is in Eureka MT i been there many times !
      And yes there it is normal

      • tim

        That is not Eureka MT that is Westcliffe Colorado

        • Matt

          That is not Westcliffe Colorado, that is Cincinnati Ohio.

  • jimbob


  • Lisa

    #32 I'd pretty much piss myself if that lion was "hugging" me like that. Fuckin' A. And the black lion, #18 is damn cool too. Some how I don't think this is the kind of pussy most chivers were hoping to see though…:P

    • Mike Carmitchel

      Are you bi or a lesbian Lisa? If yes, that's hot.

      • Lisa

        Uh. No. I'm not. I can appreciate a beautiful woman but I have no desire to do anything with her but be her friend if she's cool. I do think that there is a remarkable lack of the regular T&A content in this morning randomness though. And I think the lions are cool as hell. Chivin' on. ;)

        • misschris

          Disappointing…I was wanting to slide my tongue all over your moist vulva as I gently pinch your nipples and gently circle your bunghole.

          • Lisa

            Meh. I guess you'll have to get a different hobby hun.

            And on the serious side, who ever is impersonating "MissChris", really? "vulva"? Who the hell says that? Step your game up several levels please. Thanks. ;)

            • BloodScrubber

              Lmao, winning reply = Lisa
              *applause from the peanut gallery. ;)

    • Ummm

      #33 – This is more like the pussy we wanted to see.

  • Goldmember

    #22 The reason Josep Guardiola stopped in Barcelona, they did not allow him his wanted hairstyle…

  • Guesty

    Is there something wrong with me that I understand the humor here? #7

    • Ned Ryerson

      there would be something wrong with you if you DIDN'T understand it.

    • Lufwyr73

      rule 34, no exeption…

    • Dr_StrangePants

      Some like it Dirty,
      Some like it Public.
      To say they don't give a Fuck
      Lacks in Clarity.
      Garbage Bag Licks.
      Hump the Junk Right Outta that Trunk!

    • HonoluluChiver

      Yes there is…..it's trashy humor.

      • MattKL

        Some people may think that kind of humor is garbage, but I like it.

      • hello please



    • Shinystuffrocks

      What a cum dumpster..

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