Dating profiles that may have missed their mark (25 Photos)

200 35

Found via Buzzfeed

200 35
  • melindu

    No more taylor updates??? :(

  • melindu

    no more taylor updates? :(

    • HeyMELINDU

      Yes, Taylor recently communicated to me that extra question marks mean shit to him.

  • MarthaJeane

    Oh okcupid. Thanks for the reminder of why I canceled my account.

    No photos of all the ones that are married and admit to just wanting to cheat?

    • Brent

      you look beautiful

      • BostonRugger

        These are the well thought out messages she probably received

    • DaddyD

      True of most dating sites.

    • Shant1k

      I just clicked on your name and found out you make great cupcakes. Date me? -this comment has been brought to you in part by OkCupid

      • MarthaJeane

        Depends, are you going offer to help me make the "cream filling" for the cupcakes like most of messages I got on that site did?

        • Shant1k

          I was hoping you'd fill me with your cupcakes, cupcake! -this comment is brought to you in part by Shant1k

        • weldsoft

          Lol cream filling. Sounds like you got a few doozies. Should have collected them and posted them somewhere.

      • LucretiusCarus

        Martha's cupcakes are certifiably excellent. I have had them and they were outstanding. Honestly, get yourself some if you can.

        I'll get you that Trader Joe's bag back one day, Martha!

        • eh.

          No you didn't.

          No, No I didn't, but I have a friend that… him and the cupcakes GOT IT ON!!

          No you don't.

          No, but you could imagine what it'd be like.

    • NcouthYouth

      Yea.. your cupcakes looks amazing. I'm married.. and just want to cheat with your cupcakes.

      • MarthaJeane

        That's the beauty of my cupcakes. They're so delicious, it only feels like you're doing something sinful.
        And thank you :)

        • Panigale

          Martha you're such a jezebel. Im not married…and I also would like to eat your cupcake (s). Vanilla with cream cheese frosting. Maybe even carrot cake…I really love carrot cake….and Italian cream cake. I fucking love Italian cream cake. Do they make that in cupcake form? WakaWaka

          • Panigale

            Ok…so u actually DO make cupcakes. I thought we were just fuckin around. I will place an order to your establishment. I love cupcakes…for real. The order will be made under the name John Smith. At that point I will rate your cupcakes on a scale of 1-10 based on taste, appearance and "mouth feel"….I will then post my results to the comment section of the chive in hopes that my review of your cakes will help future chivers know which cakes they should order. Good day.

            • Panigale

              #15 FYI…ThIS iS ME. lOVE mE?

            • absolutcarcrazy

              giggity….?? nah, never mind.

            • muffins

              what. the. fuck. ??

    • Tobyelius

      You should message me if… You like Chive posters with cool green frog avatars.. :) ha

  • Seldi84

    #19 And people say OKCupid is full of idiots.

  • John Eddy

    do you guys just repost everything from buzz feed?

    • Adam

      Hey how's living under your bridge you being a TROLL and all KCCO

    • Ethix

      Coming to a website to complain about the content they display is a great usage of time! Now, excuse me while I go bitch at for not putting up enough dating profiles of atheists!

      • TheBAMFinater

        Exactly, I come here so I don't have to go to buzz feed.

        • brett

          I agree. At least they posted there source. If they didn't then there is room to bitch

    • smh

      Thought the same thing

    • Dick Salad

      Do you hang out at all the cool places on the interwebz so you can come to TheChive and talk about how you saw it somewhere else? Geeeeeee golly wish I had as much time on my hands as you do! *fap fap fap fap*

      • Nick

        The EXACT same pictures. Although Buzzfeed gives credit to the photo's source.

        • NcouthYouth

          That's why there's that little tag at the bottom of the page that said "Source: Buzzfeed & OKCupid" You're right, no source at all.

          • absolutcarcrazy

            Hell, I just come here for the comments. I was unawareIi should be looking at the pictures.

    • @McBeastie666

      well you obviously know that not everything is from buzz feed (chivettes, bored at work, find her, etc.) so you're just being a sarcastic twat. Somethings on the internet get shown on multiple websites, people that complain about that are dicks. Normal people don't care what site posted a goofy dating profile pic first.

      • Brutal_Deluxe

        I'm just upset they didn't post contact information

    • ten3six

      I smell a TROLL

    • ale

      Well, they are partners.

    • Taco_Depot

      notice how they list Buzz Feed as a source? good lawd John Eddy

    • NebraskaGuy

      If Buzzfeed is so great, then why do you come here afterwards?

      Listen, here's a newsflash for you folks who complain that all these websites steal other's material, because they don't. How long do you think a website could be in business if they did that?

      TheChive (best one IMHO), reddit, buzzfeed, lolsnaps, etc., all seem to have similar content (and sometimes they do) because all these sites are in the business of bringing you the freshest and newest 'stuff' for our amusement. But the Chive isn't just a website, it's a 'community'.

      Notice not once has any of those other sites (or their loyal following) have EVER done anything as immensely awesome as what the Chive and the Chivers have just recently done for Taylor Morris, and this isn't the first time, either!

      Here's something else the Chive has that the other sites don't: The occasional whiny bitch complaining they saw the same material somewhere else. Who fucking cares. Enjoy it and move on.

    • PDiddily420

      I bet you that Chivers didn't bitch about how all those other sites stole Taylor's story from the Chive. It's the fucking internet, shit makes its way everywhere eventually if enough people share it with everyone they know. That is the definition of something going viral. Go hang out on buzzfeed and feel good about it. Also, like others have said, they gave buzzfeed credit so you are extra stupid.

  • whyme1973

    Just wow.

  • arlo G

    #22 literacy, why!?!

  • CowboyChiver

    #24 Fuckin hilarious…

    • Underbaker

      Is that Bam Bam Bigelow?

    • Eric

      I thought Bam Bam Bigalow died

    • @McBeastie666

      Vincent D'Onofrio is really letting himself go.

    • tongystunter

      seems legit…

    • Littlet

      I did not think that was even remotely funny. I think the chive could've skipped this one entirely…….

    • Ned Ryerson

      i lost it on this one. so damn funny!

  • Elbie

    #24 seems like a nice fella…

    • Brutal_Deluxe

      He had me at 'scalp tattoo'

  • ChiveApprentice

    #5 stop wondering, yes you will be.
    #7 the best part is the girl is a 77% match with this class act.

    • 13Aliens

      #7 – Perhaps the girl also likes Stone Double Bastard?

    • Brutal_Deluxe

      I don't know how the match percentages work, but for some reason I find it hilarious that there's an enemy rating

  • alex86

    #23 He met Jesus the day Eva Longoria was born, if you know what I mean.

    • Shant1k

      Maybe he gave birth to Longoria through his anus, named it Eve but later noticed the baby was looking an awful lot like Jesus so he changed her name to Eva if you catch my drift.

    • AnyoneForCoffee

      Wait, did you think his "meeting with Jesus" was on Wiki?

      • Brutal_Deluxe

        Why not? There are three separate articles about the day I kicked Jesus in the dick.

        • Jesus

          Well, I just laughed so hard at that, I'm afraid I'm going to go to hell now.

  • Der_Joe

    #25 seems legit….

    • Csully

      scary thing is as odd has he is, thats one thing a lot of chivers have in common with this guy…..

    • Brutal_Deluxe

      The man knows what he wants

    • canadianmedic

      for some reason he reminds me of willy wonka

    • PrincessAnna

      Looks a little like Nick Saban, they don't like lil boys at bama, unless they are relatives

      • Charlie

        Come on, it's Huey Lewis.

  • Shant1k

    #7 Bob, this guy is your match. Go for it!

  • Definitely

    #2 Fun gun lol this man's a winner!

  • moogle

    #6 he picked the wrong camo for that wallpaper

  • ChrisTheChiver

    what the fudge is this!?!

  • RichMahogany

    With great power comes great responsibility. – Cosmo Kramer

  • kittygato

    And they all wonder why they don't get the positive responces they hoped for.

    • uh...yeah.

      Thanks detective kittygato! You've done it again.

    • leah_bee

      Strong work there, Lieutenant.

  • SaltLakeChiver

    #24 – At least he is honest.

    • zoom

      True. If someone is looking to date a 3-time convicted sex offender, this guy should be high on the list.

      • SaltLakeChiver

        They say that the most important part of any relationship is trust. Ha

    • ObiOne


  • Big C

    Women can have equally shitty profiles on that site.


      I want to see a post of those. Anyone else?

      • quak

        I still want Chive to Find the crazy girl from yesterday's motivation post.

  • @cjdegrave

    #24 seems like he has a great sense of humor…..?

    • Glaspotron

      Takes a big man to make fun of himself……..?
      I guess he is thinking fourth time is a charm…..?
      Okay I gotta stop these are horrible

  • James Ramos

    I smell Pedo Bear lurking in the bushes!

  • ITR

    #24 – Looks like Ethan Suplee from American History X.

  • echogeo

    LOL'ing before I could read 'em all. Gotta go back. HA-HA-HA-HA-HA…

  • Shiguy

    #24 bam bam bigelow is a sex offender….I'll be darned!

    • Brutal_Deluxe

      And he passed away a few years ago. How do you stop a rapist Bam Bam Bigelow who's already dead?

      • socket2me

        hahahah granted I'm tired, but that made me laugh a lot

        • Shiguy

          Wow, so he is using the technology from the other side….scary!

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