A little inspiration goes a long way (26 Photos)

  • Cheaters

    #6 Ya like my ex gf for one

    • Slappy_McGee

      We all know you never had a girlfriend.

      • Brutal_Deluxe

        He most certainly did, and her name was Kevin

        • Haha

          No her name was palmala

          • Dolly Parton

            Palmolive? Isn't that cooling oil? This man is an innovator!

          • meh

            Ya, or hand-gela

    • winfields

      You probably didn't follow Chris Rock's advice #8

  • First

    no your not

    • xbod


    • hwath

      You're* Example: You're a fuckin' idiot.

      • First

        So I am fuckin' and i am slow ?
        I do like to take my time.

    • Spelling Police

      "Your" is possessive; belonging to you or someone else. No one owns a "not." Stay in school.

      • Big Poppa

        stay in school, don't pay for drugs!

        • The2nd

          its the internet people, i hate seeing people correct grammar everyday. its commenting on a website not a fucking essay

          • The Others


    • First

      WRONG !

      no you nut *

      was playing online game over top of page. Reposted a few minutes later when i realised what i had done, KCCO

      • Derp


        • line


        • First

          Realise = correct in the UK, Australia, and other English-speaking nations using the English tyle of spelling.

          Realize = American.

          Since it's English, I'd say the version they use in England is correct , but the "z" is the accepted form in the US. It's also more phoenetic.

          This is the same as with organise, maximise, etc, which are spelt with a Z in the US

          US just like it because they all super sized 😛

  • Jack


  • Doppy


  • Eric

    Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I like boobs!

    • Shawny

      No it goes like this:
      Roses are tits
      Violets are tits
      I like tits
      Tits tits tits

    • amrith777

      Roses are #FF0000
      Violets are #000FF
      All my base are belong to you! ❤

      A Nerd's Love Poem 🙂

      • DaddyD


      • Braddah


    • thedude325

      Roses are red
      Violets are blue
      I've got a knife
      So get in the van

      • Poet and shit

        Roses are red
        Stems are green
        I love your legs
        And what's in between

        • http://wilhelmscream.net Rex Hondo

          Roses are red
          Violets are blue
          This poem doesn't rhyme
          And I don't give a shit

  • AnyoneForCoffee


    I can find so many reasons to disagree with this.

    • Brutal_Deluxe

      Please provide us with an exhaustive list. Be careful not to leave anything out, no matter how insignificant.

    • AlsDisciple

      Try this one on your boss and see how far it gets you.

      • DarthDuckky

        My boss tells me this all the time, actually.

    • Rick

      i was going to say the same thing, this is anything but inspirational

    • Underbaker

      How about if you add "when it was due yesterday"?

      • Dan

        That's a trick. It's ALWAYS due yesterday.

    • Wolfmane

      "The perfect is the enemy of the good."

      It's a bastardized Voltaire quote and unfortunately has mutated to arrive at a different meaning. However, knowing the original quote helps to understand the meaning it's trying to convey.

      "I believe Voltaire's original point about "perfection", specifically, rather than simply "better", is that to attain a perfect thing, whatever that is, becomes infinitely more difficult as you near it. So, at some point, you have to cut your losses, and simply say — "Good enough". This is not a justification for shoddy workmanship or laziness, for that certainly would not be, per se, "Good enough". The point is more to know when to realize that any additional effort toward improvement would result in a negligible improvement, especially in comparison to the effort required."

      • tybardy

        this is very well said, and I have something similar to this painted on my garage wall because I tend to be a perfectionist to the point of failure! Often I try to hard to make things perfect that I give up once I realize I will not be able. It is painfully difficult for me in all my walks in life to let go of my need to be perfect and just accept that I need to complete a task at my best effort and be content with its result.

        • Almost Perfect


          Had to do it.

      • Brenton

        It is always really encouraging to come across someone with a bit of intelligence.. thank you, honestly.

    • 'Merica

      Good enough never is.

    • Matty Mo

      you make me feel good about where I am

    • luke

      i'd rather whole ass 1 thing than half ass everything.

    • Andrew Burgess

      Obviously that person has never had to maintain software written in such a fashion

  • Maximus


  • http://twitter.com/FastEddie82 @FastEddie82

    #9 Is me, but I don't think I'm insane….just silly.

  • First

    a very wise man

    • Underbaker

      I never knew Chris Rock was so intelligent. Yes I do suffer from an acute need to make sense, I know I'm wrong all the time just as long as it makes sense.

      • dub

        Heck yeah man.


        In Case Shit.
        $5000 bullet.

    • Guest

      and a racist bigot.

  • Ted

    You hear that politicians?

    • Brutal_Deluxe

      And guys with small wieners?

    • Underbaker

      I work for the US military and I have spent my whole career doing so much with so little in such a small amount of time that I am now qualified to do anything with nothing in no time at all.

  • drbman

    #10 I need to practice this!

    • Underbaker

      Sure it will, it gives you grey hair (no hair in some cases), wrinkles and makes you die sooner.

      • amrith777

        Worry alone will not change the outcome.But if you worry/are concerned enough to do something that should be done,perhaps it will change the outcome.

      • venician

        Gray hair…thats a myth. Look it up 😉

  • CLT Chiver

    #26 Who rights checks anymore?

    • WRITE

      Many people still WRITE checks, those who don't probably believe being on welfare is a career opportunity

      • CLT Chiver

        Oh spell check works but grammar not so much…sorry haven't had my caffeine yet!

      • Cantaloupe

        I just inferred a lot of thing about you from this comment. None of them are good.

    • http://Felicia.newbold@yahoo.com Loyal_Chivette

      Checks are a delightful way to prove you aren't just some bogie with plastic in his/her pocket. 🙂

    • Underbaker

      My church don't take credit cards yet, so me.

      • oregon coast


    • Kels

      People still WRITE checks, RIGHT? It is sad that it was already written down and you misspelled it.

    • Reality

      I guess you all fail… Because it's cheques, not checks.

    • dub

      #26 For rent..

      Who finds these chain mail things funny anymore?

    • Captain Merica

      I do. I am not a lemming with a credit card racking up debt that I cannot pay, since I don't want to file for bankruptcy, only to make the rest of America responsible for my transaction transgressions. Enjoy your interest rates, dirt bag!

      • Cantaloupe

        Actually, you're just someone who wastes people's time because you can't figure out what a debit card is.

        • mmhmm

          The Captain said Credit?

    • Dr_Batman

      You are literally too stupid to insult.

  • http://www.facebook.com/mikewyderko Michael Wyderko

    These are the quotes the help me make it through the day, perfect timing chive!

    • zaffa

      if you need these crappy quotes to get through your day then you need to grow a pair of balls. learn to motivate yourself.

      • crazyk

        Everyone needs a little inspiration every once in a while. Just because your motivated right this second makes you better than everyone else? You don't know what the fuck this guy has going on in his life. Wait til you have some real problems in your life and see if you could use some inspiration.

      • luke

        can you motivate yourself to jump off the next bridge you see?

  • AlsDisciple

    #5 Unless you're a pedophile.

    • James

      You are the mistakes your parents made.

  • dawgbone

    #23 reminds me of the "everyone wins, everyone gets a prize" mentality that we bring our kids up in. No, not everyone is a genius. Genius refers to exceptional intellect, and if everyone was a genius no one would be exceptional.

    Some people are just better at things than others. Full stop.

    • ChicO85T

      are you disagreeing with einstein? you are bold sir

      • villageinncabanatuan

        Don't trust everything you read on the interwebs. Einstein didn't actually say this.

        • hwath

          Prove it.

          • Kodo

            Prove that he did.

          • Cantaloupe

            How would one go about doing that?

    • Brutal_Deluxe

      For instance, I'm good at helping others overcome deficiencies. I spend most of my time throwing fish up into trees.

      • usmc_chiver

        So is that why when I go fishing from the tree tops, I still get a bite once in a while? MARVELOUS!

      • amrith777

        I love you for this comment!

    • Dug

      I always thought it referred more toward the fact that everyone is very good at something. Not that everyone is above average in general. I think the distinctiion of the two ideas is being made here!

    • RobsterCraws

      Dawgbone, you completely contradicted yourself and explained the quote, even though you disagreed with it. What Einstein is saying is that everyone is a genius at something– i.e. you can't expect a fish to climb a tree, but he is, however, excellent at swimming. Which is the point.

      On a side note, I agree that the "everyone wins" mentality is taking competitiveness out of our society which will inevitably cause a lack of ambition among us.

      • dawgbone

        Well no, Einstein wasn't saying anything here because he never said this.

        Further to that, a fish is an excellent swimmer relative to what? What kind of fish are we talking about? Sure, a sailfish is an excellent swimmer. A goldfish? Not so much.

        And no, not everyone is genius at something. I don't even know how that could be argued.

    • Underbaker

      I agree with RobsterCraws. Also I find this quote very inspirational and think you are comparing apples to oranges. But if you want to split hairs on definitions maybe talented would have been a better word to use then genius.

      • sarah

        No, actually Einstein was using the more correct version of the word genius, dawgbone was just being an asshole, that would probably serve to be able to tell those things apart in the future, pal.

    • https://www.facebook.com/kmills.designservices Kevin Mills

      some kids are fish, and we want them to be genius kids.

    • Matty Mo

      hmmm, interesting point, and certainly not without merit, but I'm gonna usually go with the relativity guy over some dude named d[aw]ogbone – just sayin'

    • gjh

      dawgbone, you completely misunderstand the use of "genius" in this context. genius has only recently come to refer to, like you say, exceptional intellect. prior uses of the word referred to a person's calling or natural ability – a single area of uncanny talent. what was once "he HAS a genius (ie. for badassery)" became "he IS a genius". big difference. i had never heard this quote before it blew me away this morning. it is probably more accurate to say "everybody has a genius…", but it is no less the truth.

      • dawgbone

        Except that's not even true either.

        Not everyone has something they are exceptional at (relative to everyone else). Sure they may be better at one thing than they are at anything else they do, but that doesn't mean that they are exceptional at it compared to other people.

    • luke


      some people are shit heads

      but wait, if they're good at being shit heads then that makes it….

      Foiled me again Einstein!!!!

    • sarah

      We'll, fucktard, Einstein was a genius by your outdated definition and this is what he has to say about your line of thinking, so I guess you lose, (my IQ is 137 by the way) fucktard.

      • Ryan

        Anyone who feels the need to boast about their (total bullshit) IQ is usually the fucktard.

      • dawgbone

        Holy fuck, I didn't think people were actually dumb enough to believe that Einstein actually wrote this.

        The great thing about quotes is that there's generally a reference to them being said, either they wrote them or it's from a speech or whatever. There's no reference to when Einstein actually said this.

        • Underbaker

          Regardless who said it, it is still an inspirational saying. If you want to break it down it is basically saying not to judge people by certain standards because that may not be the standard that they excel at. (This is for Sarah) If you get angry you lose the argument, even if you were right and you can add using foul language to that as well. So if you want to win first KCCO and second use that intellect not the name calling.

      • oregon coast

        too bad your genius doesn't clean up your language

  • https://www.facebook.com/dennis.clark.1069 Dennis Clark

    #26 made me laugh and gave me a few good ideas to have to try to bring some more fun into every day life with to many suits (serious people and or bosses) around.

    • vvv

      The zoo idea is brilliant, brilliant!!!

  • haha


    the fitting room made me lol

    • lea

      even more insane if you are a woman

  • http://echogeo.wordpress.com/ echogeo

    Tough hurdle to get over.

    • Justin

      I wish i could figure it out… :-/

      • Ekajevans

        I found out that it makes the process way easier if you just say "everything happens for a reason" or "who cares" when someone says something about you, whether it's "you have bad acne today" or "you've changed" or "your nose is big." Especially that last one. Anything regarding your looks, if someone comments on them, then respond with "my future husband/wife will love it" even if you haven't met them. If they don't, you're with the wrong person. Don't worry what anyone thinks of you because regardless of who you are or try to be, there will always be people that judge you. Look at Tim Tebow (sorry, but he's a good example to use), he's making millions, helps orphans and the sick, builds houses, uses all of his money for others instead of himself, he's attractive and could get any girl he wanted, and people still criticize him because they think he's fake. Regardless of how good you are there will ALWAYS be the haters, and that's why you have to love the haters. As long as you don't believe them, they'll be your motivation to be better.

        Just my two cents.

    • DDD

      One of the most important lessons in life…… You cannot control what other people think…

      BTW who cares what someone else thinks…

    • Dan

      The question is, do you really want to? Total apathy towards social norms would result in a lot of people never bathing, using street corners instead of toilets, and generally acting like they do on the internet. It's fear of how others will react that keeps people in line a lot of the time.

    • djp

      Right or wrong, this is my motto. If I have prepared myself well for the the task and have given the full measure of my best effort I truly couldn't care less what others think of me.

    • Geo_B

      def wish i did this!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=606371253 Shannon Coverdale

    #3 Yes

  • Craigery

    #9 Some of these sound like they were written by 13-year-old girls.

    • zjh

      And look like it too…

  • etcrr

    #3 Amen

    • Common Denominator

      Go ahead weth the self-diagnosis…it's you.

    • Bill57

      lmfao i have the same sign in my study in my trailer where i keep my vintage Mustang Matchbox car collection lol

  • Emily

    #26 I'm gonna do every single thing on that picture. Right now.

    • Brutal_Deluxe

      Good luck finding a zoo with drive-through condom fittings

    • hwath

      No you're not.

    • Julie

      You ain't gonna do shit, bitch…except maybe put the condoms on your penis, tranny.

  • Shiguy

    #6 I feel like that right now, while sitting at my desk.

    • winfields

      I believe you should reference #3

  • SolidusSnake420

    The desires of the heart are as crooked as corkscrews, Not to be born is the best for man; The second-best is a formal order, Dance, dance, for the figure is easy, The tune is catching and will not stop; Dance till the stars come down from the rafters; Dance, dance, dance till you drop. – W.H. Auden

  • NebraskaGuy

    #16 Yeah yeah, whatever – just bring on those beautiful Chivette humps!

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