Get low, get dirty and have yourself a good time (33 Photos)

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  • Attaxia

    #31 mother of god NO!

    • john long

      I will take the ring to Mordor

      • truth

        More like Smeagol toes.

        • Static

          BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    • Nate

      Kill it, kill it with fire!

    • Tosh

      Hammer toe is a deal breaker

    • http://www.facebook.com/emily.gosling Emily Celeste Gosling

      Poor girl. :/

    • Ned_Ryerson

      i bet she's got a killer ass! she can always wear socks.

      • The Guy

        There is always a bright side Ned.

      • Dr_StrangePants

        not like i give a fuck about a woman's feet.
        I'd still still hit that

      • bobyae86

        Ned looks at the glass half full

    • Levian

      If that's how bad being a dancers affects your body, imagine a porn star

      • http://moogit.org Bintang

        I always imagine porn stars.

        • TATW

          Me too, but then I remember I can just watch porn.

    • vince

      Or from being a dude.. That's not from dancing it's from stuffing man hooves into women's shoes.

    • Kneebo

      I didn't know Lauren Gentile was a ballet dancer?! Cool

    • Big-Hunk

      Wife was a Prima and Premeire for 16 years and jut retired. I love her and she is a beautiful girl and dancer. But her feet are like a shaved wookies. Sure she can stay on pointe almost all day but she can actually fold clothes with these things.

  • Derp

    Mother of god! Find her #3

    • Jak

      Ms Underwood. Idiot

    • Hedonista

      OMG -if you don't know who she is don't come back here

    • http://twitter.com/Thedude_1620 @Thedude_1620

      Sara jean underwood playboy playmate of the year 07 what planet you been on

      • Jak

        That reminded me of basketball lol. It's Victoria silvsted..playmate of the year!!

        • Ned_Plimpton

          He's talking about BASE-ketball, the sports comedy made by the South Park guys… Hilarious movie and hilarious scene. Thumbs up from me, sir.

          #3 Sara Jean, mmmmmmm!

        • Jak

          Fucking autocorrect!

    • dirtysteve99

      Jesus, so the guy didn't know her, don't be getting all uppitty.

      • Bryan

        shes only been on here how many times. he should know who sara jean underwood is…..derp

        • SumCat

          Perhaps he's new to theChive or something like that. Hell, I'm not new to theChive, but I didn't know who she was. It's just another woman in a bikini to me. Like dirtysteve99 says…no reason to get all uppitty…..herp.

          • Johnny

            Another woman in a bikini!!!!!!!!!!! Know I want to break something. I can not believe this.

      • oh Bill

        im pretty sure they all just got trolled hard

    • Biggus Diccus

      THAT'S CARRIE UNDERWOOD!! Her music sucks but she has a great ass.

      • Das Hos

        Holy fuckin fuck, dude. Go back to The Berry.

      • press

        It is not. Carrie Underwood was in that Stephen King movie from the 70's.

        • about

          No, she was in the Larry King movie.

          • NYChive

            No, Larry King did the soundtrack, along with Prince.

            • hamster

              No, Prince was living with his uncle and auntie in Bel-Air.

              • Bill Smith

                Are you quoting that line from Ratatouille?

              • dirtysteve99

                And the uncle was shredder, the aunt was replaceable.

  • Dustin

    #18 "So that's what it looks like."

    • dpy

      Tampon string I bet.

    • Jak

      Me gusta! He says lol

    • James

      Boop

    • qwert

      "Is that a Baby?"….."what are you doing there baby?"

    • Guest

      and that little white string right there connects to something called a tampon.

    • Tim

      Taking bets, pimples or scabies?

  • http://www.facebook.com/MichJackman Michael Jackman

    #17 funny as hell

    • http://www.facebook.com/erich.backhus Erich Backhus

      Been there and done that. Sucked so many sweaty balls.

    • AFoz

      What exactly is going on here?

      • Boom!_Headshot!

        no wipers, using a squeegee?

  • dre

    #31 ┻━┻ ︵ヽ(`Д´)ノ︵ ┻━┻

    • ummm

      what?

      • error2k2

        flipping two tables on both sides

  • saucypants

    #4 Yup.

  • joe

    #12 quick plug the hole before it floods the town!

    • http://www.facebook.com/brian.rosnick Brian Rosnick

      On it.

  • Tom

    #33
    Scumbag Steve's mother ship

    • Anomanom

      Whats that? It looks like a huge…

      • Herpeedeederpdeedooo

        Flying SAUCER ?

      • twavor

        Johnson?

    • Torden

      That must be the ship that's been probing everyone

    • joey

      DR. Evil is at it again

    • ShrimpDaddy

      This planet is on the hunt for Uranus. LOOK OUT!!!

  • SJU4evr

    Silly Derp, Internet is for adults.

  • http://twitter.com/naiblink @naiblink

    officer….i have the weirdest boner right now…. #2

    • Guest

      really, i totally forgot it was in there.

  • Mitch

    #2
    That's not the right G string….

    • dger

      mittens?

    • themadzak

      Are you happy to see me or is that a Les Paul in your pants?

  • Sway

    #13 That's in New York City.. I live three blocks away from there…its in Inwood

    • Fred

      Seaman cumming in Inwood?

      lol

    • marley

      Its also next to dykman street. I live next to there too

    • fibonacci5150

      is this where all the trolls live in New York?

  • Rollout25

    #3 I have a hard enough time trying to get a bra off with one strap, but I think I wouldn't mind with Sara Underwood

    • dashete

      Bow knots man, bow knots.

    • chaosd

      Dude, be a boy scout and always bring scissors.

  • larry

    here's how lame i am, I had a dream the other day that I clicked on a chive post and thought of a really funny response but when I posted my comment it just missed making the 1st page haha even in my dreams i can't make the 1st page of a chive post

    • larry replyer

      nobody cares

  • RealZoo

    #12 #32…….We have a couple of squirters!!!

  • Tim

    #10 shitty luck

  • joe

    #20 some french guy just made 20 whatever french money is off of these girls. "sacre blue, beaguette, see i am french and this is the eiffel tower! candelabra, wee wee! please pay me 20 french monet! get it? the little orphan girl madeline! I am well-versed in all culture frenchy things! please come with me!"

    • Kfjfj

      No you are just à douche american! And to pont this out look at your cellos americans in pic, if your school system learnt you anything other then how awesome you are thos girl shuld have recognised the tower behind them… You reap your sow now! America the worlds NeXT africa!

      • https://www.facebook.com/tim.gilding Tim Gilding

        Great English.

      • truth

        Hey genius, did you ever think this could be a fact FB update? They could have taken the picture from a balcony overlooking the pleasant metropolis of Paris, and this caption was done to create humor. Has anyone, since the time Hitler steam-rolled your country to now, came to France and not realized that was the Eiffel Tower? Before you go off proclaiming America is the next Africa (great choice btw, America is 1 country and Africa is a continent), you should probably take note of your significant population of Algerian, Moroccan, and Tunisian immigrants (42% of your immigrants are from the African CONTINENT). Oh yeah, you are a douche.

        • Props

          You sir, deserve a high five. I thought I was the only one who caught the whole "Africa is a continent dumbass" thing. Proof that us Americans aren't uneducated like some believe. Merica!!

          • franceandusabothsuck

            i disagree you are all dumb as fuck, go canada

        • http://www.facebook.com/Sophia.alicia Sophia Royle

          I hate to point this out guys but America is a continent too… where you are referring too is in fact The United States of America – America itself comprises of north, central and south. I live in Panama and, well, everyone here is an 'American' too…

          • zaffa

            negative ghost rider. we just let you call yourselves american so you can escape the reality of your run down shitty life for a second. USA USA USA!!!!!

            • paffa

              The pattern is full.

            • thedude325

              That was awesome! USA USA USA!

            • kidsatbars are cool

              this guy is from texas or bama or somewhere in the dirty south, fuckin moron

          • mcfadinj

            Do you honestly think the frenchy was referring to Canada, Mexico, and Central America? Or do you even think he threw South American in too?

            • http://www.facebook.com/Sophia.alicia Sophia Royle

              … No … read the post – the comment was 'America is a country not a continent'… and as for my 'run down shitty life'… honey you ain't got no idea how good we got it – I left the UK to live here, but then I guess that isn't up to 'Merica standards either…? It's really starting to seem like ignorance is something to be proud of in the USA…

            • kidsatbars are cool

              no like i said earlier you are all dumb ass fuck, it does not matter what country your from if you dumb you dumb

              • English

                Grammar, punctuation, capitalization:

                No, like I said earlier, you are all dumb ass fucks (or dumb as fuck); it does not matter what country you're from, if you're dumb you're dumb

                Dumbass

        • haeddre

          Well played

        • Mini Mimosa

          'MERICA!! FRICK YEAH 🙂

        • Nishtai

          Dude, America IS a continent… I know that as megalomaniacs as many of USA's inhabitants are, they think is YOUR word to use, but, reality check, you're just one country in a continent of 35.
          Now, don't get me wrong… I love the country, I love (some of) your culture, US citizens are (for the most part) kind and well-mannered. It just ticks me off when 'mericans take over the keyboard

          • Dru

            "America" is not a continent. North America and South America are two separate continents. And yes Americans typically refer to the United States of America as "America." Not ignorance, just efficient.

            • Nishtai

              Actually, from what I gather through internet research and direct consult with very intellingent people, America being one or two continents is an arbitrary point of view rather than scientific fact. You were taught there're two continents, I was taught there's only one. The difference, basically, appears to be where were you attending school when you were old enough to learn that.
              Anyway, enough arguing, I love you all.
              Be excellent to each other
              Chive on.

              • Zherkof

                Wait… there are only 6 continents?! Name them for me. I want to learn!

                • Nishtai

                  Really? Depending on where you live, they could be:
                  Africa, America, Anctartica, Asia, Europe and Oceania. That's 6
                  Or, maybe:
                  Africa, Anctartica, Asia, Europe, North America, Oceania and South America. That's 7
                  I put the alphabetically so you can learn them in sing song

                  Chive On

                  • Zherkof

                    Well, Oceania is a region, not a continent. It *includes* a continent, if that makes you feel better… I'm failing to see how you consider North America and South America to be a single continent – can you elaborate on that? I'm in agreement on the others – Africa, Antarctica, Asia, and Europe.

                    • Nishtai

                      As I said before, depending where were you born, the definition varies. In your country they obviously taught you that there are 7 continents. Many other countries consider to be 6, others, 5 or 4. It depends on what you were taught.
                      For more reference, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Continent
                      That should help 🙂

                      KCCO

                    • Zherkof

                      Oh, sweet, I'm going to start calling so-called "Europeans" Asians! They're not really separated by anything that would delineate them from each other, anyhow…

                      Thanks for showing me how to use the internets, btw.

                    • Nishtai

                      Well, actually, you know that in a geo-political way, regions tend to change, and what is now known as "Europe" was once know as "Eurasia". Since then, political regions have changed. Now Turkey is part of Europe, whence it was part of Asia. Not so long ago, the limit between Asia an Europe were the Urals. Now, with the expansion of the European Union, there are discussions about extending the limit to beyond the Caucasus. So, it really depends on current politics. Now, geographically speaking, Asia and Europe are one single tectonic plate, so, the Eurasia angle is pretty valid. "But what about race?" you might ask. Well, that's a very valid question, well done! But then, I would say that races are so far spread (european ones, mostly) that there's no point in discussing that. The "Yellow/ Brown/ White people" scenario hasn't been valid for a long time now. Anyway, as I said, there're too many points of view regarding continental divisions, and each one is valid in its own right, so there's no point arguing about it.
                      So, as I said before, Chive On

                    • Indeed

                      Right. See, unlike arrogant Americans, those non-arrogant Europeans see the entire mass of North and South America as one continent, whereas Europe is it's own continent, because, well, it's Europe.

                    • Nishtai

                      I wouldn't know. I'm from Argentina. Anyway, yeah, I agree with you about Europe. But that's exactly my point. Depending on where you come from, what was taught to you may differ from other places. Why keep arguing about something that we've already agreed on on some level?

              • dirtysteve99

                I wonder if the one/two American continents is based on the Panama canal?
                Kinda awesome if it is.
                'Well Sir, there used to be just one, be we cut it into two!'

                And you know the guy who came up with that plan had a bitchin' handlebar moustache.

            • dumbasses

              you know your right your all dumb fucks

          • ColaChiver

            You guys do realize that when we say stuff like "Merica" and all that we are just playing around right? For the most part we are very proud of our culture and realize that there are idiots in every society, but we still love this country.

            You are trying to split hairs with the whole continent thing because honestly when someone from another country says America, I highly fucking doubt they are talking about Honduras….. Get over it and Chive On!

            • Nishtai

              I know, And as I said before, I love your country, and most of you are nice, easy-going and polite people. And you have a rich culture that spread all around the world . What I think you don't realize is that not many people outside the States call the USA "America". Some might, but not everyone.
              Anyways, I'm not here to argue with anyone, I was just pointing something out.

              Chive on

              • usmc_chiver

                "Not many people outside the States call the USA 'America' " This may be true. But absolutely no one (here in the states, or elsewhere in the world) refers to the continent(s) as 'Merica. That, my friend, is almost solely reserved for the USofA 🙂

              • Indeed

                It's been called "America" in most places I've traveled to. Do you call yourself "American" or "Panamanian?" Do you call people from the USA "United Statesians?"

                • Nishtai

                  I call myself Argentinian, actually. Most of the people I've spoken with (from different countries, mind you) call the country "USA", "The United States", "The States", and very few, if any (outside the actual US) refer to it as "America". Even calling it "North America" as it was used to some 20 years back, if I'm not mistaken, wouldn't be accurate, since Canadians and Mexicans live in North America too.. I understand that by commonality and practical matters you refer to yourselves as "Americans", and that's fine, as long as you realize that America is bigger than just your country. And I don't mean YOU particularly. I mean you as a nation.
                  Now, can we please move on and check some redhead beauties or something?
                  We all need to KCCO

  • CaNaDaaa

    #18 Turtle?

  • CaNaDaaa

    #4 – yes!! I will take being back in college after seeing the chive posts!!

  • dashete

    #19 The Lemmiwinks Adventure!

  • cait

    #15
    "…anyone ever tell you that you look like a penis with that little hat on?" -jimmy dugan

  • Botaer

    #33 Oh my god, it looks like a giant…

    • vrombtrack

      Holy shit, that looks just like a huge…

      • the Bill

        What's that? Looks like a humongous

        • ColaChiver

          JOHNSON!! yes sir?

    • Thud

      Oh! I thought you said "Transit of VENUS"!

      • michael jackson

        CCCCC-OOOO-MMMMM-BBBB-OOOOO BREAKEEEEER!!!!

        • PEANUTS...

          HOT DOG GET YOUR HOT DOG!!!! OH MY GOOD IS THAT AH……

  • Otter

    #24 I laughed harder than I should have at this. Dog Fort killed me.

    • OhSomeEvil

      greatest picture ever…. had me rolling, nothing can stop ROFLCATOPER

    • haeddre

      Sorry of sad that some guy did that to his dead cat…. http://www.wltx.com/news/watercooler/article/1894… and he's from Europe…

      • haeddre

        Sort of not sorry….

        • themadzak

          Don't worry. The cat had said in his will it was ok to do this.

  • http://twitter.com/Thedude_1620 @Thedude_1620

    #31 dietary supplement look at pic every time you think you'll be hungry

    • Name

      More like, look at this pic everytime you're horny.

      • 12345

        I can't fap to this.

        • bushwick

          You know, you don't have to 'fap' to everything on the internet.

    • Harry

      zombie feet.

    • Sean

      my wife was a semi-professional dancer for 20 years. Luckily she did more modern and lyrical than ballet, and her feet are still beautiful. Also, dancers have the very interesting advantage of being very… flexible.

  • Camboss23

    #29 La petite more. The little death.

    • Chuck

      Le petit mort

      All three words wrong. Not bad.

      • Cecil

        Yeah, I've never started to decompose as the result of an orgasm. Just sayin.

      • Marty

        It's "La petite mort," dumbass. Don't try to correct a language you don't speak.

        • Cassy

          Alleluliah,! "Mort" is a feminine noun, which means the article and the adjective preceding it must, also, take the french form. Thus :"La petite mort." Thank you!

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