Daily Morning Awesomeness (30 Photos)

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  • babyfartmagizax

    #22 Kate Upton, you're God's gift to man. Great picture, love seeing you suck on things!

    • Drepa

      You spelled "you have big boobs" wrong

      • The Man

        Merica!

      • GR8 Scott

        She could use some hips and an ass…but with bewbs and a face like that, who cares really.

        • Daniel Tosh

          I agree also needs legs

      • Walls

        Ha. U got that right.

    • babyfartSUX

      stop editing your shit – fuck face.

    • http://twitter.com/JJrrake @JJrrake

      "yea i nutted. So??!"- anyone guess ??

    • This is Me

      I heart girls because boobs. And popsicles.

  • hater

    #30. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

    • Chief Bacon

      o_0 Can someone explain this one to me please? Looks like a regular sign :/

      • Alex

        I'm assuming the purpose of this pic is to spread the word to those who drive under/at the speed limit in the left/fast lane.

        • Guest

          Or everybody can slow down and keep calm. Life doesn't need to be in such a rush. Take your time…

          • Bob

            Don't have enough time to take it… Its already done been took!

            • Mike

              Dey terk is term!

              • Kenton

                Left Lane is a PASSING LANE. If everyone used it as ONLY A PASSING LANE, then it would work properly. Even if you are fast as hell, you need to be in the right lane after you pass a car. That is how to drive. They put these signs up to teach people that can't comprehend that it is a "PASSING" lane.

          • dude

            Spoken like a true slow laner…

          • tdog

            How bout you just GTFO of my way and stay in the slow (right) lane.

          • isawoj

            Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

          • Tim

            Take all the time you want. In the right lane. That's what its for.

            Taking your time in the left lane is not being calm, It's called being an asshole that has no consideration for other drivers.

        • Biggus Diccus

          I normally drive about 10-15 mph over the speed limit so slamming on the brakes for some oblivious fucktard in the left lane going the speed limit just pisses me off. If you get passed by on the right thats a huge clue you need to get the fuck out of the way.

          • luke

            I like to see you coming, and then make sure you're blocked in just to piss you off more. I think that shit is funny.

            • Tim

              Obvious troll.

              Regardless, people do do that because they think it's funny, and
              people die that way. Amuse yourself without endangering people who know what lane they are supposed to be in.

              • Meow mix

                Well, since speeding is the number one cause of accidents I think the speeding person is the problem. However, kcco and gtfo the way. I also enjoy doing that AND people named Luke.

                • WS6

                  Speeding does not cause accidents. Careless and distracted driving does. Slower traffic in the left lane = careless driving. I may drive a little over the speed limit sometimes, but I'm damn sure paying attention to what I'm doing and what's going on far enough up the road that I have time to do whatever I need to do to avoid an accident. I'm NOT talking on the phone, texting, checking Facebook, checking myself in the mirror, etc, etc…

                  • Evil Xena

                    Yes it does. Keep telling yourself that, and get lots of insurance for your heirs – they are going to need it when whoever you take with you in a ball of fiery freeway death sues.

                    • pete

                      Speeding does not cause accidents. It is the difference in speeds everyone is driving that causes accidents. If everyone is doing the same speed there would be no collisions. Its when you come upon a slower driver who doesnt have lane discipline that causes people to brake. Causes people to become aggressive tail gate etc..

                      If Speeding caused accidents then the speed limit wouldnt be so high on the autobahn. The fact is people are able to drive at high rates of speeds without crashing because they are focused on driving. Not eating, applying makeup or any of the dozens of things people do while driving.

            • lol

              I, sir, also think this is funny. I usually drive 5 to 10 over the limit and if I'm getting passed, then that person is going too effing fast and needs to slow their role. Cause I'm not moving for some a-hole who thinks it's cool to drive 20+ over the limit.

          • Evil Xena

            As a passenger, I can, and do, use my cell phone to call the Highway patrol and report drivers like you. Then I smile when we drive by, at the speed limit and see folks like you getting a ticket.

            Reckless drivers like you get people killed.

            • Pete

              Somehow I get the feeling that you are lying.

            • Kenton

              Wow, so elite you have to tattle on everyone else! You were probably the kid in elementary school who wanted to be hall monitor so you could be a tattletale all lunch period. And just to let you know, I drive the speed limit, or cruise 5mph over. There is nothing wrong with that. It is more important to STAY WITH THE FLOW OF TRAFFIC. I guarantee you do not live in California with me, because you would be crashed by now for driving like an 80 year old woman.

            • Indeed

              You're not supposed to use your phone while driving. That's dangerous.

    • procrastination

      i dont get it

      • jackofseveraltrades

        me neither, I see this sign all the time

        • grunk

          Probably while you're in the left lane driving like my grandma.

        • Yoga Pants 2012

          For those who don't get it, you are the reason it's such a pain in the ass driving on the highway.

          • PvtDeth

            Those who don't get it probably don't get it because they see the sign all the time and don't think it's worth posting here.

      • C-spot

        Then get in the right lane next time you drive. And stay there.

    • 0331

      It is an unproven rumor, but I have heard that some states enforce this.

      • Stones

        The whole Northeast enforces it.

        • imbizzle

          Sign should be 10x bigger, lit at all times, and tattood backwards on every jackass's forehead so they can be reminded every time they look in the mirror that doesn't follow it.

          • NebraskaGuy

            That's the best advice I've heard yet!

        • TheHypnotizer

          Arkansas enforces it.

          • glenco

            western australia enforces it, eastern australia can't drive for shit. drivers there actually seem to try to enforce the speed limit on other drivers.

        • Phil

          You wouldn't think it from the way people drive there

        • Static

          no, its posted here in the northeast… but no one ever follows it, and no one enforces it! drives me INSANE! People… i dont care if you are in the left lane passing someone… use your mirrors! if you are going 1 mph faster than the person in the right lane, and see someone behind you, STEP ON IT AND GET THE FK OUTTA THE WAY!

        • Chris

          I saw someone pulled over for going 65 in a 70 on the interstate in the left lane in Alabama

          • TheySeeMeChivin

            I'm confused how you saw all of that information while you were passing by them. Maybe it was a serial killer that was pulled over while trying to nonchalantly drive down the road. Or maybe the cop pulled him over to give him a high-five or something. Or maybe nobody was driving at all and the car was empty.

          • Kenton

            You must have some magic ability. I didn't know you had the power to tell how fast someone was going after they are already stopped! MASTERMIND

          • WS6

            To the two replies above me: it doesn't take some magic ability to see that Chris never said they were already stopped. Maybe he saw it as it was happening?

      • WS6

        Louisiana recently passed a law about it, but I haven't seen it actually enforced yet.

    • Skippy

      Maybe it's a joke to go along with the ad under it

    • Owen Smithers

      I'd like to see a sign telling people to accelerate in the acceleration lane BEFORE the start trying to merge on to the freeway. Oh, and to turn on their blinker BEFORE they are halfway through their turn!

      • Justin

        I'd thumbs up you 10K more times if possible. My two biggest pet peezes

      • MatadorPride

        Amen to that, brother. I took a traffic school class taught by a California Highway Patrol captain, and he said the number one reason for fatal collisions on freeways was that people do not get up to speed before merging. Indecision causes uncertainty and then overcorrection. Assholes.

        • Owen Smithers

          Yep, and it's far easier for me, already on the freeway, looking forward, to see someone merging and speed up or slow down a little, than it is for them to look over their shoulder. Just come on, bro, and get up to speed. And that's white line isn't an impregnable barrier keeping you out of lava in the shoulder! You can drive over it if you miss a little.

          • Tim

            Where I live, it's a ticketable offense to not get up to speed while merging.
            It's also a ticketable offense to not make room for someone merging. Too many people think all the responsibility is not the person merging. Sorry, its not. Make a space for someone to merge and don't make it a race to see whose going to end up in front.

      • pretty smile

        Jumping Jesus Christ…. Can I get a Amen?

    • socalmarti

      Amen!!! Hang up your mother F*cking phone and move!!!!! The freeway is not the place to multi-task!!! gggggrrrrrrrrrr…………!!!!!!!

      • Buck Jones

        i thought it had a bunch of well placed bullet holes

    • https://www.facebook.com/jimbofiberguy Jim Hathaway

      I always thought this was the State of Washington's working definition of irony…….

    • Albert

      i wish people followed this in san jose

    • kita

      This sign is all over the #1 Highway driving into Vancouver.

  • this

    #8 Holy hell i want to do that!

    • Bigjohn

      Opononi, Northland, New Zealand

      • Luke

        There is absolutely no way she could've timed that more perfect with that wave she hit.

      • ScedKC

        I was going to say that it looked like NZ, the dunes at mangawhai heads and 90 mile beach are good for that too!

    • Livin' Legend

      Me too. And after that I want to slide down the dune on that wakeboard .

    • LOL

      I must say, that went rather well.

  • Piddy

    DMA is LATE!!!

  • Joe

    #22 Holy hell i want to do that!

    • MoHo

      Seductively eat a popsicle?

      • tapsnapornap

        Use a previous comment on a totally different picture…nailed it

    • Armed Ann Dangerous

      I see what you did there….

    • JohnD

      Agree!!

    • http://twitter.com/blumpkin8er @blumpkin8er

      I was going to like this but it was at +69 and i thought it should stay like that

  • Lower

    #29
    How about no!

    • Taco_Depot

      fear of heights: ENGAGE!

    • James

      Just looking at that made me grab the arms on my chair.

  • Derp

    #6 Wonder why no guy has ever tried that at a WNBA game?

    • News to me..

      People attend WNBA games?

    • tapsnapornap

      No

    • Jonathan

      they might grab a handful of weiner

      • Luke

        A handful of weiner or an entire palm full of face. Those women scare the hell out of me.

    • DDD

      because horses kick when they are goosed..

    • MonkeyMadness

      Because if a guy ran onto the field and grabbed a woman, he would be in jail.

    • Dylan

      What's a WNBA game?

      • Jen

        ive always wanted to streak at a big sports event. ive done a thong only streak at a flag football game. gotta start somewhere!

        • Frank

          You probably had more witnesses at your flag football game than you would if you did it at a WNBA game.

    • bigD

      All the lesbians would come out of the stands and whip his ass.

  • http://thinkrandomness.blogspot.com beserker

    #2 made my morning!
    #14 you have no life sir

    • http://twitter.com/McBeastie666 @McBeastie666

      #14 – hey, ease up man…Andy Dick looks like he's been working really hard at that trick.

  • Michael

    <img src=http://www.freecouponshop.info/hotels/glad.jpg> #6 #22 see these 2 girls, I miss my food. delicious relish<img src=http://www.freecouponshop.info/aquarius/cbfive.jpg>

    • http://thechive.com/ GernBlansten

      Proof that sometimes Babelfish is just plain evil.

  • Sanchez

    #9… vegan breakfast?

    • tralfaz

      I like the cup of OJ.

      • Dr_StrangePants

        took me a minute to figure that out

        • MonkeyMadness

          What's in the other cup?

          • http://cmock127.blogspot.com MOCK!

            One of those little Keuring single brew cups…

    • Livin' Legend

      Must be. Sneaky bastard took a bite out of the apple too. Fresh my ass!

  • http://twitter.com/DrDrai1122 @DrDrai1122

    #1 yer doin it wrong…

    • Oli

      Close nough!!

  • 3MC

    #26 That's it. I'm going to fucking build one of these.

    • Ryan

      no you're not.

  • johnnystyle

    #26 The best coffee table in the world!

    • http://twitter.com/GamerKitty84 @GamerKitty84

      yes….sweet Lord yes 😉

  • Frank

    #28 We call this monday..

  • MattKL

    #22 Feeling very patriotic all of a sudden.

  • Black6dog

    #15 Prometheus, the Inception of alien movies, because fuck you science

    • Salt

      I don't think the first equation is correct. The Engineers + the black crap did not create people. The Engineers created people and then created the black crap as a bioweapon to eliminate them.

      Resume debate.

      • Will Wheaton

        depends, because the Engineer in the opening scene drank the black liquid – then had his DNA break down into the review, setting us up to believe that their DNA created ours. If his DNA breaking down into the river didn't create the human race, then there was really no reason to show that scene.

        Though, it is possible that the black liquid he drank from the small container is different than the black liquid shown in the giant containers during the movie – but, also if you notice the only character to drink the black liquid was the dude who David fed it to in booze. We don't know if he was going to explode or turn into a monster because he was burned alive. The way his veins started to bulge was very similar to the opening scene, so he may have been about to explode into a mess of DNA.

        The two guys that were trapped in the room of black goo, never drank it. The only guy had his helmet melted, and a snake/wormy thing jumped down his throat. So the goo reacted to a worm in the ground, which was a seen shown, then caused the worm to mutate, which acted as a parasite turning the guy into a monster.

        Now the real question is, how did the black goo cause the dudes seamen to create such a monstrous baby? Maybe it's a throwback to the other movies, where the "alien," is referred to as a perfect creature. So maybe since the dude was about to break down into a mess of pure DNA, it causes his seamen to…mutate, or uh something scenicey, causing the creation of a perfect being – the weird octopus that sucks down on faces to impregnate them with the eventual alien.

        Only person who can really tell us that it isn't just a giant plot hole is ridley scott, if you are out there and reading this – TELLLLL USS DAMMIT! WE WANT TO KNOW! I don't have a life, or attractive girls interested in me, so I don't have anything else to look forward too 😦

        • http://thechive.com/ GernBlansten

          So uh, spoiler alert?

          • Zoey

            It might actually help you enjoy the movie more, but am not sure it will help at all.

            • DrGarnicus

              Very true, Zooey

        • Bean

          Thanks bro

        • Zoey

          This helps me think about it, but I'm not sure I understand it anymore… 😦

        • This is Me

          If you read past "because the Engineer in the opening scene" then you deserve to know the spoiler. Look at that mass of text. Obviously Will (shut up Wesley) Wheaton is going to wax scienceguy on the film.

          But, re/PROMETHEUS; a good film, robbed of being a great film by gimmick-laden scenes and some truly WTF moments.

        • viking

          The stuff the engineer drank at the beginning is different than what were in the vases

        • luke

          nerdgasm

        • DrGarnicus

          I don't think the black liquid created people. Or, since he gets blown up in the water, does this tie into evolution?

          • TheIrishFascist

            Wrong it was the same, the liquid is based on emotions and intents of its surrounding hosts, ergo he intended to create life by destroying his.

      • some-dude

        It was a stupid movie. No debate needed.

        • Frank

          Stupid seems harsh. I thought it was too long, and I hate when a movie leaves me with more new questions than answers. But, I would probably watch it again, if I had my finger near the fast forward button.

        • Kris

          No, it was completely fucktarded. It's claimed not to be a prequel to "Alien" because it's a shitty prequel to "Alien".

      • TheIrishFascist

        It does I read a great review on someone tha proposed that the black goo evolves to people's intents and emotions, so the first engineer gave his life to create life…a pure conviction, but later when the two scientists had sex, they wanted a child but clouded with mixed emotions on fear and hate because of the questions they had after seeing the xenomorph room.

    • Below

      *Spoiler Alert*

    • JackedUpJohnny

      If you don't get Directv you may get bored and find cave paintings from aliens.
      If you find cave painting from aliens you may travel hundreds of light years away in a trillion dollar ship to an alien world.
      If you travel hundreds of lights years away to an alien world your boyfriend may get infected with a virus that turns him into a zombie and impregnates you with a killer alien squid.
      Don't get impregnated with a zombie's alien squid baby…get the director's cut of the DVD and hope they fix the movie. Just sayin.

      • http://twitter.com/McBeastie666 @McBeastie666

        nice. that was good.

    • VedHead77

      Did nobody notice that the guy who made the poster is named POON? Put your minds back in the gutter people!

    • http://www.facebook.com/harrison.grey.5 Harrison Grey

      To be fair, Inception went way out of its way to let everybody know what was going on at any given moment. Prometheus was just a bunch of random, unexplained horror stuff happening which was perfectly fine left unexplained when we were focusing on it being a horror movie. When it tried to be a philosophical sci-fi movie, then the lack of explanation became infuriating.

    • Medium00Rare

      Transpermia is what happened in the first scene of the movie. I'm thinking the guy in the beginning was a rouge "engineer" (total speculation here) that seeded the planet with complex amino acids and dna. This eventually led to the evolution of life on the planet.

      I don't think it was a direct alien+bioweapon=people. I guess I can agree on the rest though.

      The big questions were the ones they wanted to ask in the movie. All the "why you so mad, bro?" type of questions.

  • RealZoo

    #8 …looks like a lot of fun!!!

  • THISguy

    #24 "Aww hell Joby!!!"

    • Rineash
  • RichMahogany

    That. Was. Awesome! #8
    'Merica! #22

  • Bob V.

    #5 that looks like a quick fix.

    • socalmarti

      Is this how lazy we've become about our jobs now? Did this guy seriously walk away from this and think "yep, that looks exactly like the plan-o-gram!, time for a beer" ?!!?

  • yup

    #28 every god damn day!

    • Fall

      Specially if you have a fucked up back like I do!

  • Annie

    #6 that's what I would do. And #28 unfortunately, all the time…

  • Reed Tarded

    #22 – Hottness

  • Brad

    #5 If you can't do it half-assed don't do it at all.

    • Tjw

      I see what you did there

    • luke

      jlo goes ass to mouth

  • SuperiorTo8

    #7 Killed 3 women, all with the same name. I think he earned his lunch break.

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