Daily Morning Awesomeness (35 Photos)

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  • douche baggins

    #18 MOTHER OF GOD NO!!!!!

    • Chet_Manly

      ….still would

    • boner

      reminds me of Britney Spears, she turned into a Hog too!

    • 2Dogs

      oh yea…saw that coming from a mile away…now its literally a mile wide

    • douche baggins

      Thank god I'm first though!

      • douche baggins

        Wow you're clever…

    • Joe

      She's not THAT fat.. shes pregnant in this picture and besides how she looks in this picture… I'd still hit it(after the kids out).

      • Reed Tarded

        You should never raise your hand to a child.

      • Brian

        Hate to tell you, but that is postnatal.

    • Daisy Duke

      I refuse to believe it!

    • NotAmerican

      Din anyone have a look at Hilary Duff lately?

      • Guse

        She just had a kid too! Give them a break, people.

        • Dwide Schrude

          "Prenatal. I know what that means. Pre – Before. Natal – Ruined."

          – Dennis Duffy.

      • Holy COW

        Hillary Duff is huge!!! I had no idea! http://www.freakingnews.com/pictures/8000/Hilary-

    • Kev

      Meesa needsa pizza! Jabba no bargain num num

    • Knockout_Ned

      We know you're Babyqueef. Quit trying to hide behind other names.

      • furburger

        Smoke 'em out Mr. Plimpton!



    • fact

      Are we sure this isn't another of the chives infamous shop jobs? They so often ruin great asses by making huge shelves out of them…. just saying

    • MacNCheesePro
    • OnehandJack

      Few things can age or fatten up a person like having children.

      I'd still hit it though. Still has a pretty face and a fantastic rack.

      • Knockout_Ned

        It's just a bad pic of her and possibly shopped too which the Chive is known to do pretty often. Here's a post pregnancy pic. Definitely hot still. Give her a couple months & she'll be back in Daisy Dukes form. The vag is probably still swollen. Give her a break, yo.

    • Ignoramus

      who is she?

      • Jen

        she is fucking huge now. i sort of feel bad for her. you know nick lachey is glad he got the fuck out of there!

        • some

          Time to reconsider… They are gonna pay her a million if she gets back to her shape in a year.

    • The Bacon Chronicles

      I'm kind of disappointed Chive. There's a ton of chicks out there to post and you choose to rag on the woman that just had a child? Poor form.

  • blub_glub

    #17 mindfuck

    • JamaicanChivette

      SHADY SQUAD they're an amazing Jamaican dance group….this is only half of the really cool stuff they do

    • Dylan


    • Dylan

      But seriously… This changes everything pertaining to how I get dressed and undressed

      • sneederbee

        now do it with your undies

        • DaddyD

          Easy … feet to feet

    • staticnoise

      if two guys ask you to dance just say NO. They just want your clothing.

  • Ander

    #1 on the jersey shore, they start'em young.

    • GuinessHangover

      Those kids will be the Michael Jordan of beer pong someday.

    • https://www.facebook.com/Bogie Bogdan Enache

      I'm from Jersey and I approve this message, haha.

      • rdpre

        Filthy piece of trash.

        • http://www.thechive.com mrbrixon

          lol…and you aren't?

    • Optimus_prime

      I need that one in the blue to be my new beer pong partner wednesday nights

      • Ryan

        Really dude?

        • Optimus_prime

          Yeah she's got like 2 cups left. The other one hasn't sunk a single one

    • mrkerrdontplay

      lmao i stood next to my friend when she took this picture!!! this isn't jersey, it's deerfield beach, fl. we do it big down here too. just with less fake n' bake.

      • Leaving NJ

        This amuses me b/c I'm from Jersey and I wanna GTFO here and move to Florida. Guess it won't be much of a change.

  • 2Dogs

    Paul Blart hard at work

    • tile stubs

      a chiver hard at work.

    • B Dub

      I'm not making fun of people with weight issues, but did anyone notice that the chair is coming apart? That poor guy in #5 is going to hit the floor hard soon!

    • DaddyD

      Meanwhile, in Russia …

      All of the escalators in the main stations on the Moscow subways have these … supervisors? I've never quite figured out what their job is. Maybe to hit "stop" if someone falls?

      Most are women, and most are shaped like this guy.

  • XxOnEdgexX

    #31…SMART KID

    • Terd Ferguson

      Like a boss!!!

    • Baer

      no matter how many times I watch it…the kid never quite gets all the way! :'(

    • http://www.facebook.com/Asian4WhtSupremacy Jin Jung

      A future Chiver me thinks.

    • Oh, hi

      Find her.

    • The truth

      nice jugs… i want to suck on them too.

    • Notknowing

      The kid is doing it right.

    • discowheels

      Yeah, I watched it 5 times before I realized the kid really didn't get very far. But, he is a champ!

  • Art

    #8 I would marry her so hard!

    • A Gentleman

      i'd shit in her helmet then make her wear it.

      • penguin slayer


      • Cecil

        You bastard. That made me laugh.

    • dfawkesuk

      Even know what she looks like? Wondering? Then wonder no more!

      That's her. Do browse the rest of her deviantart gallery too, some lovely stuff there :)

      • PHappy

        It moved

      • levian

        You, good sir, win the internet today

    • Sho Nuff

      Boba Fett's lesser known cousin – Titty Fett

      • TheDarkKnight

        That's Booba Fett

  • 3MC

    #23 That's the biggest box of plastic forks that I've ever seen!

    • Jed

      There must be like 600 in there!

    • https://www.facebook.com/micky.arnold Micky Arnold

      Out of all the replies I've read today this one actually made me laugh quite unexpectedly.

  • That

    #3 Interracial..

    • goodguysfan


    • wow eeeee

      who hasn't gotten caught looking at pu***

    • martian maggot

      kitty porn… i see what u did there

  • 858

    #29 BOSS DOGG. west coast = right coast

    • ThaGnome

      #29 those are not the digity digity droids your looking figity figity for my nizzel.

  • This.

    #18 Still would..

    • MattKL

      You'd have a big job ahead of you.

      • chivette


    • bdg

      All day!!! She'll get it back you tards!!!

    • Gun_guy

      Only cause she's rich.

    • Aquiles

      just make sure you stretch first

    • meh!

      hell thats nothin id eat her ass with a spoon after driving 500 miles thru the georgia sun.

    • discowheels

      Still wouldn't. She's still dumb as a rock. Fat & pregnant won't make her smarter!

      • Adam

        I'm always confused when a guy says he wouldn't get with a girl because she is dumb. The question isn't whether you would date her, it's would you sleep with her. I don't know about you, but meaningful conversations aren't on my "To do" list while I am on the job. And it's not like you stupidity is an STI either.

    • http://blog.dirtyhotproductions.com/ waltgator

      haha same here!

  • LaurenGoMeow

    #4 looks awesome

    • discowheels

      Yes, now that's a tree house.

  • johnnystyle

    #24 Batman's got game!

    • _ThisGuy_




    • Dr_StrangePants

      I remember this! It's from some dorky mockumentary

      • https://www.facebook.com/DannoRules Danno Maurer

        You are a gentleman and a scholar. Nice find!!!

        • Kristen

          You're a loser and a faggot. Fuck off!!!

          • Yesman


        • Dr_StrangePants

          Thank You kindly Danno.
          and may Kristen eat a bag of fermented genitalia.

  • https://www.facebook.com/Griffin.Ryan Ryan Griffin

    #1, merica.

    • dwang

      Yeah ok…merica….start your kids off to a bleak future teach em to drink when theyre 7. land of the free and home of the losers

    • placenta_smoothie

      The hot one is dominating

  • HAPPY...oh.

    #27 Is Hilarious!

    • KNO

      This is how every fireworks display should be. One Massive Explosion

    • OnehandJack

      I'm sensing great joy…and…gratitude.

    • San Diego Adam

      It was pretty awesome.

      • Anotherwes

        My sister said San Diego is infamous for having firework issues, a couple years ago the tubes fell over and shot straight into the ground so no one could see them.

        • Heeey!

          If they shot into the crowd then i'd go.. adrenaline rush

    • sean

      it wasnt 9 seconds, it was like close to 30 for EVERYTHING to go off. not even MOST of it went in 9 seconds

  • Aquiles

    #18 Somewhere, Nick Lachey is thanking God he dodged that bullet!

    • Slim Jim

      i was thinking the same thing, he traded up.

    • tv_paul

      Yeah, Nick Lachey must be happy. He hosts some 3rd rate talent show and she's runs a billion dollar fashion line.

      • eggnog

        It's not WHAT you do, it's WHO you do

  • thebigbangdito


    He is doing it right

    []D [] []v[] []D

  • Mighty

    #5 US/Mexico border patrol, guess what side he's on?

    • dumnb americans

      give the americans a hint, they're probably too stupid to figure it out.

      • Lunch_Box

        Your mom didn't think we were to stupid when the ugly bitch showed up throwing that rotten pussy around trying to hook any American she could like the true whore she is. Also, it's dumb, not dumnb.

        To much?

        • IM 140.6

          Also, it's too much, not to much…

          whose mom is the true whore now?

          • Lunch_Box

            You are correct about the too.

            The whose mom is the true whore now part, makes no sense. Nice try though.

            • Buford T Justice

              lunch box is about as dumb as a bag of hammers….has a geat future of shovelling shit at the peak of his career

              • Lunch_Box

                Ah, now your just hurting my feelings, buford. If I'm as dumb as a bag of hammers, then I'm guessing that makes you the shovel I will be using to shovel the shit with at the peak of my career…………..

      • discowheels

        fuck you! that is all.

      • Buford T Justice

        too true

    • Defrosty

      I doubt the mexicans trying to cross need escalators, so he's on the american side?

  • Steve

    #33 41swag, bro?! Damn!

    • Cimpzee

      i know right? my swag is only 27……

      • Defrosty

        I use the metric system, which only goes up to 12. How much is 41 on that scale?

        • jjj

          LOL, defrosty!

    • Reed Tarded

      Swagz = Points scored on Standardized Test

      • lol

        41 is good but not that good. the highest number a person can score is 69. trust me I know these things.

        • Ryan

          try again.

  • taylor s

    #5 meanwhile in 'Merica!

  • https://www.facebook.com/jordan.tunnicliff.1 Jordan Tunnicliff

    #18 Yo Chive come on now this is a low blow. She's just had a kid for God sake. I know in LA-LA Land with your little bikini babes bouncing around your office this seems horrific. But in the real world it's fricking hard for women to lose the weight. And considering the heart and warmth you give to veterans and people who do good dudes, you lose all that good will by taking the piss out of a girl when her genetics rather than her diet dictate her weight. Now I'm a loyal Chiver and will laugh with the best of them, but come on – we're better than this.

    • tiborpickens

      tru dat! mean spirited much????

    • Natalie

      Do good dudes


    • Brae

      Thank you….yes it's very hard to lose weight after a baby!!!! So that is a low blow!!!! Keep in mind though she has a contract with one of the weight loss companies worth millions and they wanted her to gain as much weight as possible before starting their programs and commercials.

    • https://www.facebook.com/jordan.tunnicliff.1 Jordan Tunnicliff

      Deeds* not dudes. Although doing a good dude sounds like something you may want to keep to yourself.

      • Professor Squeegee

        In the words of Sergeant Hulka ' Lighten up, Francis'.

      • socalmarti

        Thank You kind Sir, it's nice to see a real man showed up to chive today! KCCO <3

        • Tru Chiver

          no fat chicks. KCCO

    • Reason

      I believe you're jumping to conclusions here, they never said anything about her weight, it is merely a before and after image. For all anyone else knows you're the only person who noticed the whole weight thing.

      • captain obvious


      • Ron Swanson

        LOL you're such a taint-kissing suckup!

    • http://www.facebook.com/ehbrada Lawrence Panis

      I agree, the whole point to these "then and now" pics is to show how much people have changed, good or bad. Some of these are a bit tasteless. She may just be having a bad day in this pic. I'm sure she cleans up well.

    • Reed Tarded

      For fuck sake, she's a "celebrity" (whatever the shit that is). You should despise these people anyway. They teach your daughters how to be whores, and they profit off of fringe idiots intense desire to be entertained. Make fun of the bitch. She deserves it. All she had going for her was her looks, and they're gone. Building your house on sand, and all that…….

      • Side note

        Really it's celebrities that teach our lil girls to be whores? Has nothing to do with all the gap post and future chivette onesies….
        Maybe it's u who teaches thier hild to act like a whore, I mean let's teach them to hate/dislike another human based on the fact that they are famous. yeah sounds about right /le sigh

        • Reed Tarded

          You must not have children dumbass. My daughter doesn't come home from school and say "hey daddy, look what I learned on the chive.". But whores like Miley Cyrus and Lady Gaga are all young girls talk about. All of this ignorant, liberal bullshit has really put our country in a great place hasn't it. Sometimes you have to dislike what people stand for. It's called standing up against something for once in your misguided, hippy life.

          • ZachBob

            Fuck you, man. Hippies are awesome.

      • Patches

        At least Jessica Simpson sang and acted (albeit not very well) and got extremely wealthy while most of the time promoting a "wholesome" image. What do the chivettes do besides send in half naked photos of themselves to some website for free? The chive is teaching "your daughters how to be whores" way more than Jessica Simpson ever has.

        • RDS

          I reiterate the point made above: little girls are not (or should not be) browsing the Chive. But they DO go gaga over lady gaga and watch mileys and mileys of miley. PS Down with fat chicks. KCCO!

        • https://twitter.com/#!/JessCDoyle dontmindmyfreckles

          Are you calling Chivettes whores? I think I understand what you're trying to say, but not doing it in the right way.

          • Trollolololol

            Yes, Chivettes are whores. You think you understand? Don't think you sexy slut you, just shut up, burn your bra, show us your gap and half naked pictures of yourself. Thanks.

          • Kristen

            Fuck your freckles…and chivettes are whores.

          • Rugby

            they're attention whores. no doubt.

    • Big Bell

      Let's face facts, she was bad ass back then and now she's not. Not sayin that she can't go back to bad ass. Any way relax, its just a chive joke. I've seen worse from chive.

    • NotAmerican

      I understand what you're saying, but I want to add a counter-argument: she just had a baby, not an elephant!

    • Hutch

      That's not anywhere close to just had a kid weight, that's more I can't stop eating, and I'll have some extra bacon on my BK sunday!

      • Visitohr

        Exactly, 3 of my best friends gave birth over the last years (no, not mine) and sure, they had some babyfat but nothing like this. On top of that, she was getting behemoth before she was preggy already.

    • theobviousturtle

      Oh internet. You will argue about the most pointless things. Your so adorable

      • http://www.facebook.com/stoutat Andy Stout


    • cali grown

      Your such a bitch man. Lighten the fuck up captain save a hoe.

      • AnonyMrsFawkes


    • epomerance

      Just because you are pregnant doesn't mean you have to pig out and gain THAT much weight

      • https://www.facebook.com/rlrunyon Ricky Runyon

        Some people gain more weight than others during pregnancy. My wife gained a lot of weight. Not due to eating. It was due to fluid she built up.

        • The Neighborhood

          Yeah…about that fluid build-up…sorry 'bout that . Me and some other guys from the block ran a train on her. You may want to contact Maury.

          • cali grown

            That just made my fucking day

    • Texas Longshanks

      she admitted to eating buttered poptarts while pregnant. what did she think would happen?

      • Cecil

        Shut up, you're making me hungry dude.

        • dumnb americans

          fatass americans.

    • Lauren

      Totally agree, the woman just had a baby. I love the Chive, too, and you guys have done a lot of great stuff for people who can really use the help, but if you could dial back the misogyny a bit that'd be great.

      • Cecil

        You don't complain about the other side of the coin do you? Anything you don't like is misogyny, isn't it. I'm guessing you did your fair share of laughing/justifying it when that women in Cali tossed her husbands wang into a garbage disposal.

        • ZachBob

          Dude, why'd you have to bring the garbage disposal into this? Now my dick hurts from thinking about that.

      • 4309890

        sure thing. just so long as they tone down making fun of any men first.

    • https://www.facebook.com/spacenugget Curtis Payne

      shes getting four million dollars to lose that baby fat, she is open game

    • Buzzin_Neon

      if what i saw on the tv machine is true, she had gained weight before she got pregnant…and i don't know when the after pic was taken, but her baby was born in may and many other "celebs" manage to get the baby weight under control by this point…i also have to add if you sell your baby's photo to a mag for a bunch of $$ then you also have to accept the other side of that coin…

    • passwordistaco

      STFU Jordan.

    • Damian

      She was getting fat before the pregnancy. Also study just released says only 2 in 1000 can lose weight and keep it off. I don't know why she didn't exercise during the pregnancy like most celebs, introducing the next Kristy Ally.

      • Cecil

        2 in 1000 can? Please tell me that was a can't.
        jumping the gun and assuming you didn't miss a t back there….

        So let me get this right, obesity is genetically hard wired, but sexuality isn't? 998 out of every 100o obese people can blame it on genes? That is 99.8% prevalence of a genetic trait in a population. A trait which could easily be argued as counterproductive since like, the advent of agriculture.
        That's odd, because outside our orders, there isn't anywhere near the same levels of obesity, but 'deviant sexuality' is a cultural constant.

  • http://www.facebook.com/trcunning Teresa Rebecca Cunningham

    Everyone's a groupie for Vader.

  • MattKL

    #33 Too bad, one more and he'd have the answer to the ultimate question of life, the Universe, and everything.

    • TJ_Designs

      He's probably a manically depressed robot with GPP… 41 is still pretty low on the swag scale

  • http://www.facebook.com/brandon.beardslee Brandon Beardslee

    #9 You're doing it wrong.

    • http://www.facebook.com/brandon.beardslee Brandon Beardslee

      my bad…#16

      • None

        lol, been there. there should be an edit button

        • MattKL

          There is.

  • Egg Salad

    This is another example of Einstein's riddles. It is said that this quiz was made up by the famous physicist and according to him 98% will not solve it.
    There is a row of five different color houses. Each house is occupied by a man of different nationality. Each man has a different pet, prefers a different drink, and smokes different brand of cigarettes.

    The Brit lives in the Red house.
    The Swede keeps dogs as pets.
    The Dane drinks tea.
    The Green house is next to the White house, on the left.
    The owner of the Green house drinks coffee.
    The person who smokes Pall Mall rears birds.
    The owner of the Yellow house smokes Dunhill.
    The man living in the centre house drinks milk.
    The Norwegian lives in the first house.
    The man who smokes Blends lives next to the one who keeps cats.
    The man who keeps horses lives next to the man who smokes Dunhill.
    The man who smokes Blue Master drinks beer.
    The German smokes Prince.
    The Norwegian lives next to the Blue house.
    The man who smokes Blends has a neighbour who drinks water.

    Who has fish at home? Are you one of the 2%?

    • Jonathan

      Just STFU

    • ZacHart96

      the German, that's from 3rd grade math

    • Jonas

      The German

    • http://twitter.com/Thogert @Thogert

      Your mom.

    • Reed Tarded

      #5 – Not this guy. Well, fried catfish, maybe….

    • TJ_Designs

      Im sad for you because you actually took the time to type this

      • Egg Salad

        I'm sad because you've never heard of cut/paste.

        • Urethra Franklin

          What the fuck is cut/paste? You can do that?

    • DOCTA

      The German in the Green House smoking his Prince and drinking his coffee…in the 4th house. I truly hope more than 2% of the population could figure this out!

      • RDS

        Yup! House #1: Yellow, NOR, Dunhill, Water, Cats. house #2: Blue, DANE, Blends, Tea, horses. House #3: Red, BRIT, Pall Mall, Nilk, Birds. House #4: Green, GER, Prince, Coffee, Fish. House #5: White, SWED, Blue Master, Neer, Dogs.

        I AM SO AWESOME!!!!! Yay for me. keep calm and ME on!

        • RDS

          lol stupid chive computer interpreted my house numbers as picture numbers. Fail.

    • Guest

      The German. The other 4 are notorious for eating fish.

    • Child Please


      • Jen


  • GuinessHangover

    Say what you will about her "weight problems" it's doing some amazing things for those bewbs!

    • Jim

      who is it?

      • http://www.facebook.com/shannon.coverdale.3 Shannon Coverdale

        jessica simpson

    • 1C451

      Completely agree. Then or now, still a great set!

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