Daily Morning Awesomeness (35 Photos)

  • joey-ferg

    wenmo sucks

    • The NOID!!

      who da fuck is wenmo? babyfartmagizax? oh yeah, he SUCKS!

      • http://www.facebook.com/vincent.guzman.54 Vincent Guzman

        so yeah its pretty much impossible to get thumbs up when your FIRST!!!!

        ……unless your hilarious, im assuming.

        • It's English


          • AssHole

            And YOU'RE pretentious. People who correct grammar on theChive are the worst trolls of all. It's the internet not a fucking dissertation.

            • Josh

              Correcting grammar is what helped build The Chive. People like you are our fuel.

              • bill

                * theChive

            • Mark

              Do you see? Please leave.

  • http://twitter.com/DrDrai1122 @DrDrai1122

    #1 #21 Happy Friday!

    • http://twitter.com/DrDrai1122 @DrDrai1122

      Whoops. #20

  • This.

    #3 Hell of a breeze.

    • That

      The tree is slanted.

    • therealsnowman

      Sorry to disappoint you, but had the wind been blowing that hard, in that direction (left -> right) the tree would have been leaning the other way…..

      • huh?

        sorry to disappoint you, but you are a retard for your logic.

      • This

        How in the…what the… just, no..

  • Me.

    #10 Wonder how Kristen Stewart racked up the money to move to Cali and become a horrible actress? This is her mother…

    • jreddy23

      Looks like a cracked out Marissa Tomei.

  • hater

    #10. Mo' money, mo' problems.

    • Lou

      She has this huge check but she still needs ham…

      • FunKiller

        Please elaborate, I'm curious as to what exactly you mean.

      • FunKiller

        Scratch that….I really can read, it just takes a couple tries!!

        • Lou

          lol it was a lame joke about something I probably shouldnt have cared enough to notice.

          • FunKiller

            Nah, it worked!

      • Hook

        This is an absolute classic…Laughing since yesterday.

    • Chive Heckler

      that is the look of a woman who spent $101,000 on lottery tickets.

    • msee

      this is right after they awarded the 10 million dollar prize

  • Vic

    #33 nice trick….boobs still look good..

    • Jelly Roll

      i'd blow my jizz on those titties, if you know what i mean….

      • Keyser Soze

        no, you left that pretty unclear as to what you mean…

    • theForeigner

      Those are some hot tits…. Bah-dum tsss

    • Tru Chiver

      i'd put my penis between her boobs and move it back and forth until i ejaculated, if you know what i mean. KCCO

    • Kodos

      This "burn your bra" thing is gettin' outta hand!! Be careful, sweetie!

    • Vyle_Kidovich

      So THAT'S what they meant by "your sex is on fire"

  • Him

    #25 Holy fuck that's a big bottle of mustard.

    • The NOID!!

      oh guthrie. your comments stick out like a sore thumb.

    • Nephalem Valor

      in the summer months i like to stick chilled singles in strippers g-strings, it keeps them cool, you know?

    • joe testarosa

      Stripper fridge.

  • Bustanut


  • Rollout25

    #33 There needs to be an explanation for this

    • http://twitter.com/DrDrai1122 @DrDrai1122

      Boobs on fire? Because fuck you, thats why.

    • zTom

      Well, ze Chive said to burn their bras, she just forgot to take it off first.

      • dumb americans

        typical retarded american.

        • Kodos

          envious euro-trash

          • Anjin-San

            what if it was asian?

          • dumb americans

            not european. retard.

            • NcouthYouth

              but still envious?

    • Guest :)

      well, she's a girl, they get boobs,
      most aren't as nice as these…

      Not that difficult?

      oooow, you meant the fire…

    • dirtysteve99

      She saw Chive's post on false boob advertising, worried that the jig was up, she resorted to desperate measures.

      • fgdf

        it's burn your bra attempt

  • Anjin-San

    #33 this is not gonna end well

    #35 LOL, next time the chive has an open position, i'll send some shit like that

    • shittingsideways

      that fake resume is so old chive. step it up. it was written by the CEO of their company.

      • jreddy23

        I like how they blocked out the email…but you can see the last name at the bottom of the page.

        • https://www.facebook.com/yann.mathieu Yann Mathieu

          Roanald Dvorak did it again B)

      • i am the batman
        • mike~

          Reddit trolls are so gay

  • http://www.facebook.com/laura.stanton.790 Laura Stanton

    #10 oh good, now she can buy more crack.

    • Ricardo

      dont look to excited ?!

    • Swamp1983

      Well now she has the money to by Ham seeing as she Needham

    • Mikey

      I was going to say meth, but crack works too.

  • Joe

    #33 Still want to motorboat…

    • Choogar


    • KyleGamgee


  • scoopit

    #28 she's going back in her pokeball

    • Forever a bone..

      I'd love her to poke my balls…with anything..

      • Tgugh

        even her penis?

    • Tonmi


    • Mmm_Beer

      Jared needs to stick to Subway commercials.

    • Lou

      she still will want more

  • Mikey

    Just found out tonight that my girlfriend's been cheating on me with her ex for quite some time. Thanks for the laughs Chive, especially tonight! KCCO everybody.

    • Sympathetic n shit

      Sorry about that man…look on the bright side.. Who wants to date a cheating whore anyway? At least you found out now and not when shes knocked up 🙂

      • Gabe

        An ancient greek philosopher once wrote, "Bitches ain't shit, but hoe's and tricks". I believe his name was Snoopimus Doggimus. KCCO bud. And don't let this hoe get you down.

    • txchivette

      Right on! Her loss;)

    • Turbodude

      Good on you for finding out before you married her dude.

      • Roy

        Just stay positive and do what makes you happy and the women will come.

        • Kristen

          No we won't. Listen, if a woman cheats, it means you suck at fucking. Period.

          • James

            ^^ my spidey sense says we got a whore up in here.

          • a-nom

            Really? Dude comes here for the support that this community provides to each other and you say that? If you're a troll, then you're the worst kind, poking at a hurt fellow human being…if you're serious I hope you never find happiness and please kindly leave this site, it's not for you. Mikey, love will find you bro…keep the faith and KCCO.

          • Kristen Stewart?

            It probably means you have a cavernous black hole of a vagina

          • http://www.facebook.com/mitchell.cogbill Mitchell D Cogbill

            @ kristen, you probably got more wieners in you than joey chestnut, dirty ho dicks is fo cunts!

        • Me.

          do what makes you happy and the women will come… 😉 I'll live my life by this theory oh wise one.

    • Kanye West

      Mikey, I'm really happy for you, and imma let you finish, but Bill Clinton had the best infidelity scandal of ALL TIME!

      • Mikey

        This is why I love the Chive!

    • Concerned Car Buyer

      Well, on the bright sideI just saved a load of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico.

      • Mikey

        This is why I love the Chive too!

    • Puddin Pop

      damn bro that sucks. i been cheatin with dis chick behind my girlfriend's back. imma keep doing it.

      • frankus

        ^this is why america is going down the tubes.

        • a-nom

          What does this guy have to do with America? Is infidelity solely an American thing? There are aweful people all over world just like this jacka$$…

        • Tom

          Relax he just means he switched to his left hand…

    • http://twitter.com/JJrrake @JJrrake

      U should leave a bag of cess in her mailbox. Get her in a little trouble!

      • him

        Or make the mailman very happy

      • http://www.facebook.com/dakota.moore.7393 Dakota Moore

        i got the reference.. bovice!

    • Logicyup

      If ya haven't split with her yet, and she doesn't know that you know, do this. Tell her you're not felling well and pretend to go see a doctor. Go to a bar for a couple of hours or something, getting wasted will make this more believable anyways. Go home, tell her she needs to sit down, tell her you got blood work done and you're hiv positive and the doctor told you to inform any sex partners you have had to get checked quick.Print out some info before hand or grab some info from a clinic to hand her when you sit her down. Apologize for being drunk by saying you didn't know how to tell her so you hand to stop and have a few while you think. Make sure to tape cotton balls to the inside of your elbows so it looks like they drew blood.

      • http://twitter.com/JJrrake @JJrrake

        Hahahaha pik somn mad gross and wait a few weeks

        • Ethix

          Great addition.

      • Got ya bitch

        that's awesome hahaha

    • matt

      i say jiz in her eye, then say, "oops im sorry does_insert exs name here_ tell you when the suprise is comming? cause you sure the hell didnt tell me." then run out and yell hope to see you in the clinc again real soon. kcco big mike

    • EZEE

      Light all her shit on fire, then post pix of her on the internets.

    • decielito

      I say John or someone throws down a post for you!! help your spirits and get you going.

    • PK!

      take some photos of her and post to the chive

  • Z_b

    #5 Deal with it.

  • TulsaSmartassChiver

    Good morning Chivers!

    • a-nom

      Morning to you as well! Not sure why you got negative rating for that…oh well, DBs exist!! Even here, oddly. Same sort that make their own KCCO shirt just so girls will notice them…you know who you are.

  • HonoluluChiver

    #33 OMG…..she's trying to ruin a perfectly good pair of breasts. Quick grab my hose.

    • http://twitter.com/JJrrake @JJrrake

      "Theres a shortage of perfect breasts. Itd be a shame to those"-??

      • http://twitter.com/JJrrake @JJrrake

        Insert -ruin-
        Im bout to get bashed real hard for that fuk up

        • Kristen

          That's not why you'll get bashed. You'll get bashed because you're an ignorant cunt.

          • Ryan

            Are you sure he's the one that's the cunt?

            • http://twitter.com/JJrrake @JJrrake

              She must be an aussie there a pretty wild bunch.

    • zis

      Yep i don't think she thought it through

      • Dane

        no you grab MY hose.

    • MohawkJon

      That's what she said!

  • B rex

    #33 What a hot rack…. I'll go now

    • A Gentleman

      agreed. i'd piss all over that.

      • Kim Kardashian

        Give me a call some time.

  • Z_b

    #12 http://www.wimp.com/niceflip/ couldn't find it on youtube :/

    • Shawn

      Sea World – San Antonio, Tx

  • http://thinkrandomness.blogspot.com beserker

    #12 i so want to do!!!!
    #29 legit, when you get older, no time for games!

  • Mark B.

    <img src=http://www.mynewcarquote.us/hotels/pt.jpg>#22 this is old man face, I don't know how old he is, but he looks well over forty. <img src=http://www.mynewcarquote.us/aquarius/ns.jpg>

  • SPCToast


    • I'll do it...

      she likes to be peed on..

  • Mark

    #10 Isn't life the shits. just can't get no break.

    • JFrost

      And not a fuck was given…

    • dick

      moments before blowing it all on crack.

  • RichMahogany

    #22 Wait.. what?

    • Doctor Icetea

      Look closer, it's obviously two faces. What you think is shadow is the face of the kid, and the nose and mouth belong to the father.


        Result is a mini me Rob Dyrdek

      • Apoennim

        THANK YOU! That was driving me crazy!

      • RichMahogany

        Good eye, Doc.

    • morebeer


    • Brian

      This took me a while to figure out what the hell I was seeing.

  • A.E.

    #10 thought it said virgin lottery and she was being given 100000 for keeping her legs closed

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