Before my wife & I were married I went shopping with her once. She asked me to & since we were dating at the time I didn't feel as though I could say "no"…but I also didn't want to go. I was serious about her, considering proposing marriage …so I could've – potentially – faced a lifetime of shopping if she enjoyed our first outing together. So I made sure she didn't.

I picked her up at 8:45 AM – way before she was expecting me, made a big deal of getting to the mall before it opened at 10:00 AM, made a big deal of getting a parking spot close to the front doors. I was enthusiastic, raring to go. I took her to every store, I made her try on stuff – different sizes & different colors, if she picked up something & unfolded it – I picked up three things & unfolded them, I kept her running back & forth to the dressing room, I waited for her to get dressed in her own clothes before I "found" something else for her to try on so she'd have to go back to the dressing room & get undressed again & try on the thing I'd just "found." Every store. All day. We left massive piles in every dressing room. Sales People hated us. I'd get 3 or 4 of them running around, helping us find things, I listened to their suggestions, made her listen & try on what they brought. I only gave her 20 minutes to eat lunch. Whenever she wanted to take a break I'd say: "Oh-oh…they're having a sale at The Limited!" (Or some other store front.) Go running over there, dragging her along. When the mall closed at 10:00 PM we were the last to leave, a security guard walked us out. We bought less than $200 worth of stuff.

She never asked me to go shopping again. We have been married for 13 years.