‘Merica in 2 minutes (Video)

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Man I wish this rang less true. Made by the brilliant folks at Woki Toki TV.

Related videos on theCHIVE

  • Jon

    "Murica bitches.

  • this guy says

    I'am murican and i approve this video

  • Josh

    Yeah, definitely in that video at 1:42

  • derpopotomus

    I have never been more proud! I love this country!!!!!!

  • unstablegirl

    I laughed, I cried. It became a part of me.

  • RealZoo

    America: The good, the bad & the ugly…all in 2 minutes!!!

    • stabeezy

      I think stupid, bad and ugly is more appropriate, no?

    • Anon

      Just the bad and the ugly actually

    • Scubasteve

      Yeah they totally skipped the good.

  • Buda B

    I had no idea what to expect with this….was definitely worth the watch. Saves watching 6 hours of videos on youtube.

  • sjd

    Yup. That pretty much sums it up.

  • nco

    You have such a wonderful country!

    • Fryy

      I second that

  • Zed

    Should be titled "The Dumbest Country in the World in 2 MInutes"

    • http://twitter.com/gmgdnj @gmgdnj

      More like the funnest country. I watched that video and compared my life growing up there to the past 20 years of my life living in Germany, England, and now Italy, shoot there is no other place i would rather live. Your countries are all around boring. Yeah there are some hot spots, some good times, but they are far and few between. Everywhere you turn in the US you can enjoy yourself

      • kryvian

        I not really in the mood for long flame war debates, but don't you think it is possible that you choose to lead a boring life? ;)

        • AnyoneForCoffee

          Nail. Head.

          "Europe is boring"…Give me strength. I suspect, from the countries mentioned, that this is a serviceman's kid who missed a golden opportunity to truly explore this amazing continent but instead wasted a quarter-lifetime vegetating on a series of military bases.

          But, as you say, each to their own. Their loss.

          • http://twitter.com/gmgdnj @gmgdnj

            No not a military brat. That is some of the ignorant thinking others were talking about here. If i was still in the military, or lived close to the bases then yes our life here probably would be closer compared to the fun we had in the US. But no, its not. We lived in these countries, now italy, by choice, not a good one i might add, but by choice none the less. As soon as contracts are up, we will be moving back. And for those that talked about culture and taking in the opportunities, my comment here is about the video showing stupid fun and in reply to the guy calling the US the dumbest country, not societal culturism. Some of you need to pull that EU stick out of ur tails and loosen up.

          • Lunch_Box

            As a former military brat, I can say Europe is not much different than the US really, I lived in Germany for 10 years, and traveled across much of Europe will there. The languages are different, but the people are pretty much the same as the people in the US.

            • http://twitter.com/gmgdnj @gmgdnj

              When you stick close to bases and standard turist areas, yes thats true. The point is in regards to the difference in the type of fun from country to country

            • Zed

              Having been born and raised in America is something I'm not very proud of. I have been to other countries where people are more civilized and educated but have some of the lowest per capita income. Here, people would much rather spend "borrowed" money on 60" mud tires, guns, and useless items.

              • Ryan

                I would love to agree with you on this matter, but I see one flaw in your statement. As being born and raised in the US, outside of possibly the various "Little Italy's" and "China Towns" and "Little Havanas", what experience do you have with living in a foreign countries?

                The US doesn't have an exclusivity on 'borrowed' money and frivolous spending. If you are surrounded by uneducated individuals that seem to have more money than brains, perhaps it is your choice in friends that is truly the issue.

                As for civilized people, that truly is a subjective term. One country's civilized is another country's savage. Indeed there are countries that have longer-standing traditions and social norms, but none have greater freedoms than those guaranteed in the US. Everyone is guaranteed life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. If that means some people choose to get their freak on, who are you to judge?

                • AnyoneForCoffee

                  Great post until: "…but none have greater freedoms than those guaranteed in the US. Everyone is guaranteed life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness."

                  You took both arrogance and ignorance to unexplored levels there.

                  • thedude325

                    Really? Name one country which enjoys more freedom than the US.

                    • AnyoneForCoffee


                      Just wrote a long answer and Chive deleted it!

                      How fucking pathetic is that!!

                    • AnyoneForCoffee

                      Fuck it, I'll write it again.

                      You seriously want an answer?

                      Sigh….Okay then.

                      How about all of the EU nations? Read the ECHR which is our bare-minimum bill of rights, but where most countries actually provide greater protections of freedom and liberty. Read and compare.

                      As an example, take capital punishment. Illegal in Europe and certainly contrary to 'right to life'.

                      Take Guantanamo Bay. Indefinite detention without due process, rights, legal representation or trial. 'Right to liberty'?

                      That 40% (40-f**king-%!) of the US population have no healthcover outside the emergency room. 'Right to pursue happiness'?
                      Compare with Europe with its unlimited and universal cradle-to-grave healthcare. Even when you cross borders, you are still assured 100% cover automatically.

                      We also have a right to sizeable holiday allowances and maternity/paternity leave. How about you?

                      We have greater equality of income and wealth. And we have a higher quality of life (no real surprise there!).

                      But note how you don't often hear Europeans ranting about how they live in "the greatest country in the world!" or beat down anyone who dares think their own country is better.

                      Now, may I suggest you learn about the huge world that exists beyond the US border before commenting further?

                      F**k me. I really like the US and its people but sometimes that gets vigorously tried and tested!

                      (I wonder how many will thumb this down before reading it all, let alone thinking about it?)

                    • Lunch_Box

                      I did read your entire post, and you do have some valid points, and some not so valid points.

                      Capital punishment is enforced only in extreme cases, and ones I agree with. If you kill someone, other than in self defense or in defense of ones country, you deserve whatever comes your way.

                      Guantanamo bay I can't comment on, I admit I do not have enough knowledge on the subject to form an opinion.

                      Not sure where your going with holidays and maternity leave.

                      Universal healthcare is all well and good, except when it comes to the production of life saving drug research. Universal health care funded by the government holds back the potential for new medical breakthroughs because the government would insist on sharing the breakthrough, to the detriment of the company’s profits. This would end up with these companies leaving the industry. No profit to be made, no reason to invest in new medicines. Then there's wait times to even be seen by say a specialist or for certain services. In the US, to see a specialist of have a service done (that sometimes takes months in Europe, Canada or other countries with universal health care) is immediate or within a short time. Then there’s the cost to the country, most countries universal healthcare budgets are in the red.

                      The US population percentage of medically uninsured is actually around 17%.

                      Having lived in Europe, there is plenty of bolstering when it comes to Europeans ranting about how one country is better than other.

                      The difference in equality of income has a lot to do with the European government that places greater restraints on executive pay so company bosses don't receive such high remuneration as their American counterparts. I do agree with you on there being to wide a gap in the US of income equality though.

                      As someone that has lived outside the US for a third of my life, and believe it or not, I listen to BBC often, admittedly there isn’t enough world coverage in the US media. I think I have a decent understanding of the world outside of the US.

                      I've always found it funny, that Europeans will unite against the U.S. and other countries or continents outside of Europe, but when asked about the countries that make up Europe, the majority can't stand each other.

                      I enjoyed living in Europe, it has its good, bad and ugly just like the US, but as a whole it was an enjoyable experience.

                      I noticed you started with "We" in a few of your sentences, but you never mention where your are from. I think it's obvious what country I am from, but to be fair, I live in Louisville, Kentucky.

                      Good day or eve, whichever the case may be.

                  • Ryan

                    I would like to take the opportunity to inform you that within the opening sentence of the second paragraph of The Declaration of Independence, our forefathers identified the unalienable rights…"truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.".

                    While you may consider these truths to be both arrogant and ignorant, these are the bedrock from which Our great nation was formed. It was these ignorant beliefs that countless men and women fought and died for in winning our independence. It was these arrogant virtues that brought countless immigrants to our shores. It is these self-evident truths that are granted and guaranteed in the US.

                    If I am considered arrogant and ignorant for believing and supporting these rights, then that is the sacrifice I am willing to make. I, however, know of entire nations that would consider you a far more ignorant and arrogant individual for thinking otherwise.

                    • stabeezy

                      I'm sorry to be the debbie downer here, but unfortunately, we used to be a great nation. And even saying that is a stretch (mainly because of all the horrible things we did in the "early days"). Those "rights" you speak have only been extended to the straight, white, and privileged. It took until 2012 for a president to acknowledge and support the rights of our gay brothers and sisters to get married? We are like a big, strong, stupid child, that is as bigoted, racist, homophobic and sexist as ever. And as congress slowly chips away at our freedoms, we are not arrogant and ignorant for believing in the Declaration of Independence, we are arrogant and ignorant to not see the veil being pulled over our eyes. Why did we not hear about the civil unrest in Mexico or why are our politicians trying to push us back down the oil pipeline and away from clean renewable energy? Our media and government are both in the pocket of oil companies and big business, and they are afraid that we will start becoming aware of that fact, and that we'll be really pissed (sounds like a line from Fight Club). Let's stop praising Amurica for the things we suck at. We ARE ignorant, and we ARE arrogant and that is not something to be proud of. However, outside of politics, we do have some of the most progressive thinking people on the planet. We have hard working people in the lower, middle and upper classes. We have brothers, sisters, friends, cousins, mothers, fathers and acquaintances who would die for this country, and who are out to make the world a better, safer place. If we could get more funding to our education system, into our labs, and research and development departments, we have the potential to have some amazing impacts on the future of humankind. But until we stop thinking in terms of liberal vs. conservative, democrat vs. republican, right vs. left, and get back towards the middle so we can make some legitimate changes to the bureaucratic nightmare that is our congress and senate we are in some serious trouble. Sorry for the rant, but it had to be said.

                      And to thedude325, according to stats, we are ranked 9th in best standard of living and favorable social policies that benefit the people of a nation. Noway, Australia, Sweden, The Netherlands, Germany, Switzerland, Ireland and Canada are all ahead of us. So there are 8.

                    • thedude325

                      I have to agree with some of your points but disagree with others. I would have to agree that the government is slowly dialing back our freedoms. But I do think Americans are doing the best thing possible now, voicing their opinions and voting. I think most Americans still have hope for the voting process. It's either that or insurrection. While insurrection is a right, it's inconvenient, messy, chaotic, violent, etc, etc. I think everyone knows war is terrible and it should only be used as a last resort. Hopefully, change in our government can come from the ballot box. That being said, I think many Americans need to change from the inside as well. The government can't solve all problems, nor was it ever meant to. I would disagree that Americans are both ignorant and arrogant. While this may be true for some, it is not true for all. Most of the crap we see on TV reinforces the idea that Americans are bigoted morons with a 5th grade education. I couldn't possibly see how people like that could have done what we have done. I agree there are some racist, bigoted people here but really those type of people are everywhere. We see what we look for. Want to see racist or bigoted people in New Zealand? Look for it, you will find it. I do, however, have a problem with people who seem to take pride in their defects but that really isn't my problem, it's theirs. Someone once said if all of human histroy was compiled into one person he would be a raving lunatic. A mass killer, schizophrenic, bi-polar, rapist, theif, etc. with occasional random acts of kindness. I can't disagree with this, but with that being said, it is not just America, it's human nature. I find that the more I look for this stuff I find it. The more I look for the goodness in people, I find that.

                      Anyway, I also want to point out the relationship you mentioned between government and big business. I would say they have a "I scratch your back you scratch mine" type of relationship. The government is not funded by big companies without any concession. The government gives businesses an "advantage" (whatever that may be) in exchange for some cash, political donations, etc. Its real fucked. With all the regulation I imagine government dictates where oil companies can drill, their shipping routes, the countries they can trade with, etc. At this point the oil companies are at the mercy of the government and naturally the government gets their dues. Totally oversimplified but crony-capitalism is nasty and complex. Not to mention corrupt, totally against the will of the people, and it's harming our nation.

                      As for the last bit, I wouldn't take statistics to be the final word. It's difficult to judge quality of life. According to wikepedia (Great source, right? ) the U.S is 13th. That seems bad but take into account the size of our population compared to the other countries ahead of us on the list. In fact, if you add all the countries on the list it amounts to a little more than half of our population. Naturally, the larger the population the more outliers and the larger the deviation. Considering, 13th or 8th or whatever is pretty damned good.

            • Lunch_Box

              While there, not will there, figured I would correct myself before someone else does.

      • thedude325

        Good point man. I was thinking the other day nations with a sense of humor are nations that are worth living in. Last I tried to think of any Russian or Chineese stand up comedians, I couldn't come up with any.

    • derpopotomus

      Bite tongue bite tongue!!!!!!!! Oh my fuck bite tongue!!!!!!

  • NotAHick

    That's George Bush's 'Merica, not mine.

    • a-nom


    • KeepinCalm

      Move to China then, take Bam Bam and the DOJ w/you. Have a safe trip…

      • Indeed

        Yeah, screw that DOJ, making sure our civil liberties are enforced and all! How dare they!

  • Anon

    Is anyone else totally sick of the Keystone Light ads? That stuff tastes like satan's piss, if he happened to have gonorrhea.

    • nemesis

      More fool you for trying it in the first place.

    • mike

      It might taste like a camels left nut…but its always smooth.

  • Av10

    Yup u nail it murica!!! Thats it

  • DubStu

    God Bless America!

    Giving us Brits something to ridicule since 1776… ;P

    • Lunch_Box

      The sentiment is returned in kind.

  • g3nXsLack3r

    Not even counting illegal immigration, the US is #1 in the world in net migration. In fact, the US has more immigrants crawling over each other to get here than the next 5 countries in the list combined. If you think this video sums up America, you're probably dumber than the people in it. Haters gonna hate…until they get that green card.

    • derpopotomus

      If i could give 6 million thumbs up i would.

    • Xander

      And millions have seen "Twilight". That doesn't make it a good movie.

      • thedude325

        And just because you don't like it, doesn't make it a bad movie. Although it is hard to argue that it isn't a terrible movie.

  • brett

    i'd like to see these types of vids across the globe. pretty sure every country has their quirks and it'll be fun to see.

  • Richard


  • Codyman

    Merica!!! Fuck yea!!!

  • Anonymous

    Dead on.

  • Cracka_ass_cracka

    Welp, tried it 3 times.. Just can't watch this without getting a boner..

    • SGT_Fati

      HAHahAHAH! So youre saying America is kinda like good porn? I can agree with that!

  • SGT_Fati

    I LOVE this country! And I especially love hot women with guns

  • http://thechive.com/ GernBlansten

    If Youtube is the benchmark by which we are all measured, then pretty much the entire species is fucked.

  • Leon N.

    You have to get on YouTube and watch the rest of the "World in 2 minutes" series of videos.
    Get there. See the rest. Thank me later.
    Thanks Chive, you made my morning.

  • robmo

    That was just Texas……..

    • Brad

      Although I live in Texas and it's not exactly like that, I still laughed at this comment way more than I should!

  • Sade

    Fuck yeah!

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