Daily Morning Awesomeness (30 Photos)

  • billthedullard


    • http://twitter.com/JJrrake @JJrrake

      billthedullard -142p · 5 minutes ago

    • David

      Only if we were one second closer to douchery. Maybe next time.

    • Stevenb

      Why is there so much hate for the person that posts first?

    • therealguy


    • Dick Innabocks


  • Sweetness


    • http://twitter.com/JJrrake @JJrrake

      Sweetness · 6 minutes ago

  • AzPunk


    • http://twitter.com/JJrrake @JJrrake

      AzPunk · 5 minutes ago

  • http://www.facebook.com/sphui5 Simon Peter Hui


    • billthedullard

      Um,… no. (That would be me.)

      • http://twitter.com/DrDrai1122 @DrDrai1122

        Oh god. You are so cool. I wish I could be like you, but my parents don't have a basement for me to live in until I'm 35.

      • Smashy

        You're a fucking loser, twatwaffle.

        • FunKiller

          I believe it's called a "bluewaffle." Go ahead and google that, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.

  • http://www.facebook.com/joe.sharp.18 Joe Sharp

    #17 Take that ChikFilA

    • Truth

      For the last time, it wasn't Chick-fil-a. It was the president of that company. And he didn't say he hates gay people. He was asked his thoughts on gay marriage, and he gave them. It was not an "official corporate policy" and even if it was, Chick-fil-a has ZERO say in who can and can not get married.

      Now can we go back to paying attention to things that matter please?

      • http://twitter.com/JJrrake @JJrrake

        For the last time, it wasn't Chick-fil-a. It was the president of that company. And he didn't say he hates gay people. He was asked his thoughts on gay marriage, and he gave them. It was not an "official corporate policy" and even if it was, Chick-fil-a has ZERO say in who can and can not get married.

        Now can we go back to paying attention to things that matter please?

        • neek

          shut the fuck up hashtag boy

          • http://twitter.com/JJrrake @JJrrake

            What that was a retweet bra dont even push me like that rite now bra im bout to threetweet some shit

            • http://twitter.com/JJrrake @JJrrake

              Im bout to tear this page up now cuz o that hombre

              • Jaives

                Dude. He really hates gay people. Here's an excerpt from an article:

                Here are five reasons why Chick-fil-A isn't what you think:

                1) Chick-fil-A has donated at least $5 million to organizations (including a certified hate group) that, among other things, depict gay people as pedophiles, want to make "gay behavior" illegal, and even say gay people should be "exported" out of America.

                Even if you oppose same-sex marriage, do you really want to support a company that advocates putting gay people in jail, or "exporting" them, just because they're gay?

                2) Chick-fil-A president Dan Cathy didn't merely say he supports traditional marriage. Dan Cathy said if you support gay marriage, you "are inviting God's judgment on our nation," and that we "shake our fist at Him" when we do. Dan Cathy also said same-sex marriage is the result of a "deprived" mind and called it "twisted up kind of stuff."

                Even if you don't support same-sex marriage, do you really think gay marriage is "inviting God's judgment on our nation"? Haven't we all heard enough blame from those who claim to speak for the Lord, like after Katrina or, more recently, after the shooting in Aurora, Colo.?

                3) Chick-fil-A supports organizations that have claimed they can change gay people into straight people — "pray away the gay" — despite the fact that practically every major medical organization has stated that this is not only impossible but dangerous and harmful.

                Even if you don't support same-sex marriage, do you support fake "science" that is known to harm the very people it claims to help?

                • http://twitter.com/JJrrake @JJrrake

                  One time u was sellin some single bottle formula meth and this brah i was buyin from was like " hey how ya dern" and i was like " do. We. Hav A problem"

                • Wake the Fuck Up

                  Oh you gays, You get so butt hurt (lol) when someone doesn't like what you do, and then you have to parade around making sure that you bring it within an inch of everyone's nose. This is a non-issue, and now the internet nerds are all over it, if you don't like the dude, don't go to chick fila other wise cram it up your cram holes. If you could care less than do your own thing, but don't try and force your gay OR non-gay opinions down my throat (lol).

                  Here is a quote from a Detroit Lions Linebacker, "Chick fila is so good I would still eat there even if they supported slavery." Oh did I mention he was black.

                  You people are so easily sucked in, we all want to see chicks make out, but Chive c'mon, don't feed the beast.

                  • Daith_Lee

                    THANK YOU TOO!

                  • Willy T McRibb

                    Well said, thanks again.

                • DaBox

                  You need to take a deep look into the hate groups and terrorists organizations that the left is funding and promoting. I can all but guarantee without doing any research that every group that was "exposing chic-fil-a" or initiating this "protest" is a Soros funded group. Read about Soros' beliefs and past, and then tell me you still think you are on the morally right side of this argument.

                  • Just a guy

                    So because I'm left wing, I am automatically connected to all left wing causes? The owner of Chickfila gives money to groups that support causes I don't support, so I will not give him my business. It's as simple as that. It's the same reason I don't use Mobil gas, and don't shop at Urban Outfitters. Some of us actually do take the time to look into corporations before we shop there. What's funny is that so many people on the right trumpet about how we don't need government regulation because the market will regulate itself through consumer research, yet when it happens people on the right freak out and think that some poor old man is being picked on by the internet. If you want to splash around in the pool of public opinion, be prepared to be splashed back.

                    • Smelted Pelted

                      Talk about the market regulating itself, it took 3 hours to get lunch from them on Wednesday. There were lines around the buildings and streets blocked for the 2 I passed at lunch.

                    • Ironic

                      I think it's funny that a bunch of "Christians" who wouldn't lift a finger to help the poor or sick will stand in line for hours to eat a bag of deep fried cocks. Chick-Fell-Atio!!!

                    • diehardcard

                      Yeah fuck those Christians. They force us to put Saint "whoever" on the side of all those hospitals and charity organizations and then won't donate any money whatsoever. Assholes.

                      BTW- You can go eat a whole bag full of dicks.

                    • BTME

                      Actually, the old man is being picked on simply because he didn't jump on the LBG bandwagon. Reverse hate in action disproportionate to what he has done. Is it hate to say that one does not support the LBG lifestyle?
                      It's called freedom of speech and it is protected in this country.

                    • Basaltman

                      Freedom of speech means that the government can not infringe upon speech. I can tell you to shut up or boycott you all I want. And….the OWM bashed gays which is a little bit different from simply not jumping on the "LBG bandwagon"

                      "I don't hate coloreds, I just don't think I should have to hire them for my restaurant." – tell me the difference.

                  • matt

                    hahahaha it doesnt surprise me that you havent done research

                  • whatever

                    Did you put your tin foil hat on before leaving the house this morning?

                  • Zuke

                    Stop watching glenn beck. I knew the minute you mentioned that soros fellow that that was probably your problem.

                • Hate this

                  Name the 'hate group'. Go ahead. People keep mentioning this 'hate group', yet they never provide a name. Why is that? It wouldn't be that hard to find, not with the access to information we have today. So, Jaives, name the hate group.

                  • Just a guy

                    The Family Research Council. Cathy donated 25,000 dollars to that group, who in turn lobbied congress to not condemn Uganda's policy of allowing Homosexuals to be put to death for homosexuality. How's that?

                    • BTME

                      My understanding was that they lobbied to have the resolution drafts changed to more accurately address the Uganda Bill.

                    • Straight Guy
                    • matt

                      you realize the article you posted has the FRC saying that being gay isnt a right correct? it actually makes them look pretty radical and sad.
                      "to remove sweeping and inaccurate assertions that homosexual conduct is internationally recognized as a fundamental human right."
                      "…which would have the effect of inhibiting compassionate pastoral, psychological, and medical care and treatment for those who experience same-sex attractions or who engage in homosexual conduct,"

                      they quite literally call it a sickness

                    • Gay Matt

                      If you're going to pull phrases out of context…You do understand you just said…."…a sickness." Get cured

                • https://www.facebook.com/bhall236 Brett Hall

                  This article is completely out of context and written by left wing liberals trying to support their intolerant point of view.

                  • just a guy

                    Yeah! Opposing intolerance is so intolerant!

                    • nuccabay

                      if you dont think left wing nuts are just as intolerant and judgemental as right wing nuts than youre naive

                    • smiles with you

                      Both sides are nuts and anyone who says they're a conservative, liberal, republican or democrat and blindly follows the parties preachings is nuts.

                • faster

                  I support Jaives shutting the fuck up.

                • no god

                  Regardless of their stance on homosexuality, I wouldn't support them anyway because they're a Christian group, and that's just a wilful display of the worst form of stupidity.

                  • Scaggnettii

                    YES IT IS!

      • Daith_Lee

        THANK YOU!

      • ...

        This is stupid

    • https://www.facebook.com/staceymaec Stacey Copeland

      should we just say "thank you chikfila???"

      • http://twitter.com/JJrrake @JJrrake

        Na brah na way brah naaa wayyy. This is what u do. U just chill out rite there homie then be like" aight playa stayup"

      • sucks2suck

        Praise chik fil a

    • herp de derp

      i once walked into a Chick-with-a-dick-fil-a. it was awkward

      • http://twitter.com/JJrrake @JJrrake

        One time u was sellin some single bottle formula meth and this brah i was buyin from was like " hey how ya dern" and i was like " do. We. Hav A problem"
        Then i went to my mail truck, PULLED OUT MY GINSU KNIFE. And he was like " ay brah . Easyy"
        And i was just messin werent even foreal or nothin.

        • http://twitter.com/JJrrake @JJrrake

          I fukin write the loosest comments yo im just that sick i fukin challenge neone to compete with me

          • https://www.facebook.com/Dermographicated Mike Page

            Are you fucking retarded?

            • The_Dood


              • http://twitter.com/JJrrake @JJrrake


            • Retarded

              Yeah, we're fucking…so what? We once fucked in Chic-fil-a and used the spooge as mayonaise.

    • Reason

      Actually I think this was the same sex kiss-in that was hosted by Chik-Fil-A.

      • http://www.facebook.com/ashley.groppe Ashley Mingledorff Groppe

        That's happening today. Friday, August 3rd. I'll be there…

        • HonoluluChiver

          Bring a camera…….for the Chivers!

          • silky

            no, she's ugly

        • Chick-for-ever

          Great! You should try their biscuits. It's the fire! And so is where your going.

      • PHappy

        If all the same sexers look like that it would be epic. You know most of the womyns will look like Chaz bono though

    • thor

      I just want a spicy chicken sandwich

    • Dr_StrangePants

      oohhhhh Internet….
      Sometimes You're Like Some Weird Pagan God,
      with followers praising the most random stuff conceivable.

    • backfired!!

      all this free publicity…. Chic-fil-a is loving it!!

      • JViss

        Seriously, because of all this gay controversy they had the biggest day they've ever had and the homos are still givin it to em. If you really want chik fil a to suffer just drop the thing, don't go hang out at chik fil a

        • zzzzzzzzzzzzz

          yes yes… lots of hateful assholes out there… sad to see how many are my fellow chivers.

      • Totally

        Now all you straight people go there to eat your bag of plumped up cocks

    • Fuhrer D

      Never ate at Chik-Fil-A, but I plan to at least once a month now.

      Also, I can't go back to CNN today, they have to men kissing on the front page; I almost threw up.

    • Dan

      I support hot lesbians making out in public. Sadly, most of the LGBT community is fat and ugly and weird, and still makes out in public.

    • derp

      Take that (free advertising) ChikFilA

    • matt

      the votes in this thread reveal a disturbing amount of homophobia and hate from chivers who dont quite live up to the keep calm and chive on ideals. some day youll look back on this mindset as embarrassed as the older generations look back on their mindset on race equality

      • Yawn

        Any person who equates the 'gay struggle' with 'race equality' needs to be punched in the nuts.

        • matt

          …because you believe gay people are just suffering from a sickness or are making an 'evil choice'? the fact is that people have their lives and livelihoods threatened due to something beyond their control. sounds familiar.

          • Truth

            No, I'm guessing it's because (unlike black people) gays can vote, hold public office, use the same drinking fountains and restrooms as everyone else, and pretty much anything else everyone else can do. In fact, there's really no reason anyone would know anyone was gay unless they were behaving in a way that made it outwardly obvious.

            Before you say it, no, I'm not suggesting gays should have to "hide it". What I'm pointing out is that a black person can do nothing to prevent people from knowing he is black… this is a HUGE difference, besides all the other ones I listed above, between the "gay rights" movement and the civil rights movement.

            Honestly, besides marriage, gay people are afforded every freedom, liberty and privilege everyone else is in this country. That's the difference.

            • matt

              in the US, there is no fear of death or imprisonment youre right. however, in 75 countries being gay is illegal, and in 9 its punishable by death. even in america its legal to fire someone based on their sexual orientation in 29 states. so while there are no public lynchings, remember i never stated they were comparable in american society — simply that both will someday be looked upon as embarrassingly unjustified views.

              taken straight from the FRC wesbite; "We oppose the vigorous efforts of homosexual activists to demand that homosexuality be accepted as equivalent to heterosexuality in law, in the media, and in schools." they literally believe in fighting equality. that was my point.

              • Truth

                I never claimed there were "lynchings". I never claimed anything, actually. I was responding to your hyperbolic response to the post above you. That post said (in fairly colorful language) that equating the "gay rights" movement with the civil rights movement is ludicrous. And it is.

                Your response was to assume it was because "gay people are just suffering from a sickness" and along with it the inescapable assumption that the commenter "Yawn" hates gay people. I was merely pointing out all the reasons the two are not even similar, and I left off a lot of them.

                I couldn't agree more that gays have it better in this country than in any other in the world. Thanks for pointing that out, it could go a long way towards healing some of the wounds that divide us if more people realized it in the gay community.

                Interestingly, many of the same people in the same groups politically and socially support both gay marriage and "respect for foreign cultures"… the same foreign cultures that kill gay folks for being gay. I find that interesting. The culture of tolerance in these groups even extends to people who would like to see them dead and would kill them if given the chance.

                And for the record, most people can be fired for just about anything in most states. That's a good thing. In my state I can be fired because the boss doesn't like my hair color. Or my shirt. Or the fact I always say "good morning" in a cheerful voice each day. Or if I was gay. Or over six feet tall. That's how it should be. If someone is stupid enough to fire you for one of those reasons, but you were providing valuable service, it's his loss. If you're as valuable as you think you are, someone less stupid will be happy to employ you. In the end it's the boss' business, he should get to decide who he does and does not work with, even if his reasons are ridiculous.

                • matt

                  somehow i doubt telling gay people that 'yeah we might consider you lesser people, but its still better than uganda!' will really heal much. anyways, again, im not saying the two have similar degrees in american history, just that both are based not on logic, but in taught hatred, and that homophobia will one day be looked upon as coming from a similarly ridiculous idea.

                  but whatever i come to the chive to look at hot half-naked chicks and funny photos, in that order, i just wish people wouldnt seemingly take such pride in being against a lifestyle that in no way affects them.

                  • Truth

                    I don't see where anyone was against any lifestyle here at all. The whole thread was about how the "gay rights" movement is not at all like the civil rights movement. Why do you insist on insisting people are filled with hate that just isn't there?

                    It's almost pathological, your need to find hate in others.

                    • zzzzzzzzzzzzz

                      i agree with matt. so sad to see the hate & homophobia in my fellow chivers. it doesn't fit our view of ourselves or this community… or, perhaps it does.

                    • matt

                      Thanks zzzzzzzzzzzz…I want to put my penis in your ass and caress your balls at the same time.

        • matt

          wait, you want to touch my nuts? thats kindve gay dude.

      • Mike

        Being homophobic is, by definition, a fear of homosexuals. There's no fear in this thread of homosexuals – just a frustration that we have to be bombarded with their agenda. This is the Chive – we just want to KCCO

        • matt

          yes its only homophobia if someone runs away from gays in fear like they saw a spider. i understand the route words include the greek word for fear, but believe it or not the definition of homophobia is not 'fear of homosexuals', but actually "irrational fear of, aversion to, or discrimination against homosexuality or homosexuals".

          either way we both agree that this site should be used as a resource for KCCO-ing, which is why i found it so distasteful that so many went out of their way to post and positively (and in turn negatively) vote for an ideal so in contrast to that idea.

          • zzzzzzzzzzzzz

            matt – happy to see someone on these comment boards who isn't homophobic. would love to get the chive founders opinions… i have to imagine they are on the right side of this debate & would stand with us. just a guess, based on what they have built here.

            • diehardcard

              It's not a debate if you've already decided which side is the "right side." You sound like a zealot that's fooled himself into thinking he's not.

      • exactly matt

        Totally agree. I thought this was "the best community on the internet", not a bunch of peurile sexist cavemen

        • silky

          it's not a community FFS. It's a website that puts up funny pics and skanky attention whores showing off. The one thing it does wrong is puts up a superiority complex to idiots who think they are special because they visit a website and mindlessly say "KCCO"… it's almost as bad as "swag" or "YOLO"

      • John

        Or maybe one day when you grow up you will look back and realize that Cathy has just as much right to have his opinion as gays do… Maybe then you can really KCCO… Oh and Chive, you could really do a better job than this…

      • Nicholas

        I fully agree with this statement. I have been greatly disturbed as I have, until now, seen the chivers as a great and accepting community. I am truly shocked by some of the comments posted. I generally do not post, but I am greatly disturbed by this string of comments

        • Nicholas

          although this was initially in response to matt many posts up

          • ^^Flaming^^

            Shut up you little queer.

    • Truth

      I thnik it's important that we stop and point one thing out. Having a differing view on gay marriage does not make for hating gays. If person X believes that marriage is defined as a man and a woman, he is no more hating gays than the person who accepts a different definition is hating straights. Why is it you don't run around hearing the straight community screaming about all the hate speech against them from the gay communities? Why? Because it's not hate, and they don't have an agenda to push that would be helped along by shutting down the voices of the opposition the way the gay community does.

      I'll use myself as an example. I'm a libertarian. I don't really think the government has any business involved in marriage at all – straight or gay. That should be between two people, and if they believe in one, their God. Why Uncle Sam has anything to do with it at all is beyond me. So, politically, that means I support gay marriage. As a Christian, I personally don't see two men or two women spending their lives together as marriage… but I also don't have any ill feelings towards them for doing so. See that? Three separate views on gay marriage and gays from one person, depending on the situation. It's not as simple as "oh he supports gay marriage, he loves gays", or "he doesn't think same-sex marriage is actually marriage, he hates gays" or anything that easy.

      I think people are people, gay or straight. There are some folks out there who hate gays, but guess what, there are some folks out there who hate everyone… even white, middle-class males (actually, come to think of it, there are a LOT of people out there these days who hate white, middle-class males). No one is immune from hate. No one. The last way to get past it, though, is to brand anyone who disagrees with your particular world view as hateful. It's just plain stupid. Many people disagree with gay marriage, but still look at gays as equals. Truly.

      • Red

        Well said Truth, well said.

        • http://twitter.com/JJrrake @JJrrake

          U actually read that?

      • Aaron

        Nailed it! Championship!

        Why can't we leave the word "marriage" for a union between a man and a woman in a church and come up with some other word for it done in a non-religious ceremony done in a non-religious building? Give them all the same legal rights and benefits and call it a freaking day?! I am a Christian and have a few friends that are gay….that doesn't mean that I love them any less. I don't agree with their lifestyle or the choices they make, but what sort of Christian would I be if I turned my back on them and ridiculed them? A terrible one. That is the answer.

        A dude that owns a very successful company answered questions that were asked of him. He contributes to causes that he believes in. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I wouldn't care if an openly gay owner of a company did the same thing in alignment with what he believed in. THAT IS THE RIGHT OF THAT PERSON. Regardless of points of view and convictions. Its what this country is founded on!

        You know what would be awesome? Is if every single person on both sides of the debate put all their efforts into volunteering to help the homeless or taking care of orphaned kids or picking up trash on the roads or helping veterans return home and readjust or just about ANYTHING productive for society instead on stomping their feet like children shouting "IM RIGHT IM RIGHT IM RIGHT, THEY ARE DOUCHES, THEY ARE BIGOTS, WAAA WAAA WAAA" we would all be a hell of a lot better off.

        Its a crying shame that people can't get out from behind the computer and their safety net of anonymity where they can beat their chest and speak so defiantly and instead go and do something productive for society. The never ending debate of "equality" will always be there. It isn't going away. Do something NOW and make change for the better of SOCIETY. Also, pizza.

      • Mrs_Conejo

        Gay marriage has been on the ballot in 37 states so far and has failed every time.

        There are legitimate arguments on both sides, obviously. Nothing will ever be done to pass gay marriage at the federal level for two reasons. If republicans passed it they'd lose their religious base and if democrats do it, they'll lose large portions of their African American base. Already a group of powerful religious leaders in the black community have warned Obama he is losing support for his recent flip flop on the issue.

        So where does that leave the gay community? They're being used by the democrats for votes and money. They're being used by the republicans to stir up evangelical support. It's a crappy situation.

        But, welcome to a democratic republic.

        You can not make everybody happy.

        If you don't like people (or companies) expressing their views in a free society you can shove it up your face hole. Or you can piss and moan incessantly. Doesn't really matter. That's the beauty of freedom.

        I believe the last estimate on the American LBGT population is under 4%. 4 freaking percent!!

      • Underbaker

        Well said Truth. I'm with you on the mixed views thing. My Christian belief tells me that sex is only acceptable between a Husband and Wife, so in my mind it is clear that the God I worship does not only classify Gay sex as a sin but also any adultery, that being said he also loves the people who commit any sin (yes I am a sinner to). Sometimes it is hard to do but I do try to follow his example of hating the sin but loving the sinners. Not so easy when it is a child molester and not so hard when it is two consenting adults (gay or otherwise). My scientific side says being gay is a waste of time since you can't procreate, but so is fapping unless you are donating to a sperm bank.

      • Poke4Life

        Fuck yes!!! Perfect Truth!

    • John

      The Chick-Fil-A sandwich I bought on Wednesday was so good that I bought two for lunch today. No floor show, but I am sure the media will make a mountain out of a molehill again.

    • techno_viking

      Chik-Fil-A has record day of sales. Yeah, take that…

    • TheDoctor

      I was all an elaborate plot to get a much of hot girls to kiss in public. Well executed!

      • WTF

        Or…IT was all an elaborate plot to get a BUNCH of hot girls to kiss in public. Drunken posting.

    • MacNCheesePro

      Dan Cathy, CEO of Chic-Fil-A, and any other guy against gay marriage is either a hypocrite or a controlling chauvinist pig, not a homophobe. This is my thesis.

      First, we have to understand something. All guys have no problem with girl on girl action. All guys are like this. If they say they don't, they are lying. Simple as that.

      For a guy to say "I like it when two women kiss" (well, he doesn't have to say it, if he has a penis, he likes it) and then say "but they can't get married" is a controlling chauvinist pig that thinks women should only get freaky for himself and not without him. Therefore, you can't have a problem with gay marriage if you have no problem seeing two women kiss. If you are a religious man, you should believe that two people sleeping with each other (wether it's regular sex or laying carpet) should not be doing so without getting married first.

      One also can't say that because your religion says "two men or two women shall not marry" that's what you believe, but you have no problem with gay people. This goes against saving yourself for marriage. Gay people aren't just getting together and holding hands. Sometimes, they're fuckin!

      So, in conclusion, no man can say gays should not marry because it goes against our genetic code, which is: Guys like girl on girl action. Condemning gay marriage is like saying you don't like girl on girl action, which makes you a hypocrite or a controlling chauvinist pig.

    • Meh

      Damn this is a totally different side of chivers from a couple days ago… well I guess this is what we get for asking for a chic-fil-a post…

    • Phox

      Guys Guys! I think we're all missing the point here. Two girls are making out. Two girls…making out

  • http://twitter.com/DrDrai1122 @DrDrai1122

    #22 Thank you Joe Mazzello. You have made America very proud.

    • UCLAbruin

      What a doUSChe

      • not you

        Actually brilliant. Given Obama's "you didn't build that" then those girls didn't win it either. We did. See what a fuckstick the POTUS is?

  • Yuuuup

    ^^ Last at life

    • http://twitter.com/DrDrai1122 @DrDrai1122

      Excuse me sir, but I will not be last at life.

  • http://www.facebook.com/trish.sidelko Trish Sidelko

    #29 Best Mom ever.

    • http://twitter.com/JJrrake @JJrrake

      No ur moms the best mom ever

      • http://twitter.com/JJrrake @JJrrake

        And i meant that in a totally disrespectful degrading way

    • Dr_StrangePants

      By the Gods!
      Mommy even provided a Balloon-Scoop Launcher!

    • MonkeyMadness

      Best mom ever, unless she's naked and stoned out of her mind. lol

      • Dr_StrangePants

        Naked MILF Gets Wet
        And attacked by liquid filled Sacks?
        There, I'm pretty sure we've just put in enough work for a porno script.

  • dafuq

    well w got a first and a third so….second

    • billthedullard

      Dude: You had a negative, I countered it with a thumbs up so you're at lease zero.

  • Manny

    #23 he choose to excerise instead of going the easy way?! what a BAMF

    • Guz

      The stairs are lava. That's why.

    • Dr_StrangePants

      He did that wearing Wing-Tips?

    • JT Money

      I think he's going to step into the Animus.

    • Bangerang

      No one likes stairs but I would have just used the elevator inside.

  • Lisa

    #7 I want that…man do I want that guitar!

    #29 That's a great mom!

    • http://twitter.com/JJrrake @JJrrake

      Ur a great mom

      • Penis Winkle

        JJ, she likes the rimmer…give her the rimmer.

      • Lisa

        As it happens, I actually rock as a Mom. 🙂 I'm pretty sure the thumbs down you're getting have more to do with the fact that you've made douchey comments in the past and not my Mothering skills.

        I hope you'll find a peaceful way to live JJrr. Life's too short for bullshit sometimes. 😉

        • Rob Melodeath

          Lisa @Jjrake is just an ass. Not worth fucking with. KCCO.

          I'd call Penis Wrinkle a douche nozzle but that'd mean he could get near a pussy. That's obviously never happened.

        • http://twitter.com/JJrrake @JJrrake

          Na i think everyone just jealous of my sictwitpics

    • WantsLeiabongos

      Great guitar if you enjoy strumming a Solo on Han's crotch!

  • http://twitter.com/JJrrake @JJrrake

    Worst comments ever. #urwelcome #contribute

    #22 dont forget why the olympics started

    • http://twitter.com/JJrrake @JJrrake

      Damn i write probly the sickest comments/ sickest piano ballads

      • Jouhker

        You actually make me miss Paula! And I fucking hate her! But sometimes, she is actually witty.

        • http://twitter.com/JJrrake @JJrrake

          Sorry bra life isnt a predictable sitcom

  • cantsleep

    #22, im so proud of joe

  • Rollout25

    #16 NO CAPES!!!

    • Herb

      Damnit! I wanted to say that!

    • Dr_StrangePants

      That's what I was thinking too!

      • bobby

        I love that adults quote animated movies … and not in the weird Japan way


      Capes get you killed.

  • Crc

    #16 I'm going to watch this all day long it keeps getting funnier every time !

  • liket

    Largest flower…yeah that's a corpse flower they smell of rotten meat…

    • polish penetrator

      Like your moms pussy

  • https://www.facebook.com/ashley.dhew Ashley Noel Dhew

    #13 I always knew that's where babies came from , just never had proof .

    • http://twitter.com/JJrrake @JJrrake


      • http://twitter.com/JJrrake @JJrrake


        • http://twitter.com/JJrrake @JJrrake


          • http://twitter.com/JJrrake @JJrrake


            • LukeSkywalker12


              • LukeSkywalker12


                • LukeSkywalker12


    • Dr_StrangePants

      I'm gonna tell my niece what an awesome moment it was for me
      to take a picture of him being delivered via Skydiving-Off-A-Stork
      and being caught by her Dad.

      • Smelted Pelted


  • George_jiji


    • billthedullard

      Hey George, I got a shit load of negatives too. I'll give you a like every chance I can so we can get back at the haters.

      • Kristen

        Jesus you're fucking sad. Wonder Twin Retarded Douchebag Powers, activate. Shape of a dildo…Shape of Bill's fist.

  • Rollout25

    #17 What is KFC's ad going to be?

    • Starlet

      I believe, they will stick with their: It's Finger Licking Good! (same picture though)

      • yeah


    • thedude325
      • MonkeyMadness

        Hahahahahaha!! Wait…. is that racist? 😛

        • Dr_StrangePants

          Naw, it just makes me want dark meat all a sudden

    • dood

      Go to funny or die, they have a vid telling you what KFC thinks about this.

    • 氣青強

      Eat Mor Pusy!

  • 6655321

    #14 New and improved Joker products! With a new secret ingredient: Smylex.

    • Mmm_Beer

      #14 Thanks for the nightmare Chive!

    • Oli

      These stupid freaky little things are all over Europe. WHY!!!!!

    • Bangerang

      They're probably screaming in agony due to their limbs brig hacked off.

    • Tomas

      I see I'm not the only one who's freaked out by those Old Navy mannequins. 😮

  • not that guy

    #18 Glass Jacuzzi – new porno proposition?

  • Rusty Shackleford

    #19 Feed me Seymour!

    • http://thechive.com/ GernBlansten

      Those kids must have no sense of smell. the y call that thing the "Corpse Flower" for a reason.

      • Dr_StrangePants

        Ironic that a giant flower is designed to smell so awful

    • VTChivette

      YES. You win with that comment.

  • Seriously

    #2 Let me guess, is it because of your horrendous spelling, you moron?

    • cody

      Lol, my very first thought.

    • Underbaker

      I thought the balloon did very well considering it is an air head.

  • Scott

    Wolverines claws are retractable Balloon, you should give him another chance 🙂

  • HoBo3267

    #17 couldnt be more perfect

    • Daniel_Tosh

      Really? So they couldn't be naked and scissoring? Exactly.

      • Dr_StrangePants

        While making love on a bed of chicken sandwiches

      • NoCo Chiver

        Fort Collins, Colorado… TomK photography if you are wondering.

      • you're dumb

        Please be the real Daniel Tosh.

    • etcrr

      What, No Tongue?

      • Jawbone

        Perfect as in "Staged by the company to appease fucking morons like you" perfect?

      • Bill57

        I don't like it when girls kiss cause they have girl parts and not boy parts I have boy parts and would like to kiss a girl but I cant cause girls are kissing eachother so there is nobody for me to kiss which is why a dog iws mans best friend but I can't kiss a dog either so i will just ferociously mastubate to all of the women kissing eachother at the chic fila

    • ukulelemike

      And how many of these protest kissers will actually look like this? How many ugly men and hairy fat women will be smooching at Chik-fil-A today? Maybe they should be posted.

    • Kowabunga dudes!

      Regarding the Chick-fil-A fiasco, one might speculate that it's all a ploy to sell more sandwiches. Chick-fil-A CEO, Dan Cathy publicly spoke out against gay marriage and caused a huge uproar that has everyone talking about his fast food chain. Then Chick-fil-A and some of their political affiliates turn the criticism around and make it a free speech issue. Now not are they only a happy, Christian loving entity but a DEFENDER OF OUR FIRST AMENDMENT!

      Dan Cathy has positioned Chick-fil-A as a Christian Corporation, in order to appeal to his demographic. Sure he's a Christian, probably even a great Christian! (by his own definition) But he's also a business man and as a business man he knows that if he supports the most popular religion in America it's going to make his sandwiches taste that much better. Chic-fil-A is closed on Sundays, (woopty-doo!), that's to reinforce the Christian aspect of the brand without putting Crosses and Jesus himself in their ads thus being able to appeal to an even broader audience with their clever ads in which cows conspire to get you to "eat more chickens."

      The support and love, Dan Cathy gets for running Chic-fil-A in accordance to the "seventh day of rest" and not "making" people work on Sunday, creates a ton of brand loyalists who buy plenty of chicken which allows for his business to be closed one day out of the week. It's BRILLIANT! But that does that really make him a better Christian than other Christians who own business but stay open on Sundays? There's a fine line there between being judgmental and living Christ-like principals.

      Now much like Dan Cathy has exploited Christianity to build his brand of fast-food restaurants, he's exploiting one of the most prevalent social rights debates to latch on to protecting our first amendment and reinforcing his beliefs which only make his American Christian brand loyalists love his chicken even more. As defenders of our first amendment, Americans are going out of their way to eat the tasty sandwiches for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

      Politicians are coming alive to aid Chic-fil-A in order to get in front of the press and to remind Americans who to vote for when the time comes. In this situation you may ask, which comes first: the chicken or the egg-headed politicians? With Chick-Fil-A's support during these trying times to "protect our first amendment" it will surely help them when it comes to paying off the bureaucrats and lobbyists to ensure that their "nutritious recipe" stays approved by government standards, if it ever came down to it and more importantly make sure that not too many dollars are taken away from their bottom line due to tax regulations and other bills that may hurt them financially.

      In conclusion, the incident of Chick-fil-A CEO, Dan Cathy speaking out against gay marriage is nothing but a master mind ploy, a well thought out way to advertise, to sell more chicken and to exploit their ever-popular Christian beliefs while also having the opportunity to exploit the first amendment. Using this to their advantage it will bring them closer to their brand loyal, chicken eating, gay bashing, Christian American customer base.


      • Yawn

        shut the fuck up.

      • ...


    • HoBo3267

      haha, didnt realize i would catch hell for this. kcco i guess

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